So what excuse do hang your hat on for not reaching your fullest potential?

So what excuse do hang your hat on for not reaching your fullest potential?

>be me, 14
>have semi-abusive father all my life growing up
>two younger sisters always feared him, as did myself until that one day...

>dad on rampage about messy room, starts using belt to hit ass, clearly missing hitting upper back almost neck.
>crying.jpeg

>in a fit of rage/teenage testosterone, my first fit of rage happens.

>"you better stop" i say in a high pitched, going through puberty but clearly enraged.
>stops
>says "or what user, what are you going to to do"
> does the "bender breakfast club" scene and sticks his face/jaw out and dares me, says "do it, do it and see what happens when you think you're a man"
>as a kid whos faced nothing but aggresive abuse and head games, thinks maybe we will see this as having "balls" and throws 2 horrible overhand punches to his cheek and forehead.
>sure hurt me more than him
>dad simply backs away in shock as if i murdured one of my little sisters.
>"you want to act like an adult. You're going to get treated as such.

I'll spare the obvious details...
Long story short, police arrived. Dad told them i am this delinquent kid that cant be controlled. Admits that he constantly uses corporal punishment. Keep note i am 24 now and times were much different 10 years ago.But police believe it was necessary. Tells the police that while he was trying to decipline me over bad grades(which wasnt the case, it was overy messy room) that i suddenly turner around and attacked him.

Police take me to the city jail to be "booked" even though there were no formal charges, but i was sent to a semi correctional facility from age 14-16.

I know this is hard to believe, but i will continue my story if anyone cares to hear it.

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Damn, man. Tough break. I'm sorry.

24 is still young though. The world could still be yours if you want it bad enough.

Continue user. Curious to know what happened to that douche

Being a registered sex offender.

Crippling affluenza has given me very little work ethic.

I have a slightly similar story idk if I'd green text it but I'd love to tell it since I can't tell real people

It wouldnt have been so bad if my mother didnt turn a blind eye to it for so long.
After i left the "behavioral correctional facility" I came back home shortly before my 17th birthday. My dad who i had to act robotic like around basically thinks he won and broke me.. my mother evemtually has moment of clarity and sees how he was wrong and leaves him and takes me and my sisters to her mom (my grandmothers).

Even that wasnt easy, dad tried to tell courts she was unfaithful, at the same time mother tried to out him on the abuse to me but he argued it was fabricated to cover for her "cheating".

When it was all said and done.. my mother was only awarded child support for my youngest sister. (Who was 16) with no alimony. My dad easily cleared 200,000 a year as an oil field engineer.

I never tried, it's better the think I could have instead of knowing I failed.

What country were you in? Didn't anything bad happen to this motherfucker?

Tell us

I'll start off with the background....


>until the age of 4 my father was around
>mom left cause he was a cheater and a scumbag
>mom gets with a new guy really nice stoner dude who is great to me until I'm about 8
>He then start partying with friends constantly and coming home trashed
>he begins getting slowly addicted to alcohol and cocaine.
>He then became highly abusive.
>sent me and my mother to the hospital multiple times.


Would anyone like me to contin.? I'm horrible at Green text

I have no excuse, I'm just a piece of shit

I know this is kind of long. But i found a job as a machinist making 13 an hour, enough to afford my one bedroom.
My sisters and mom live at my grandmas house they inherited when she passed on last year.

My dad, last i heard, lost his job roughly 2 and half years ago when the oil field took a hit and didnt manage his money well. My first cousin (who is his sisters kid, my aunt) who lives 2 states over, told me he started to drink heavily. My dream is that he will eventually need a liver transplant, i will most likey be a match, and i will fake that i forgive him and bail on the trasnplant. Fuck him.

I didnt become a "stronger person" because of this. He basically threw away my young adulthood, and now im living paycheck-to-paycheck in south louisiana in a shit economy alone in my one bedroom that i bust my ass for everyday. I have very serious trust issues, and have had absolutely ZERO friends since age 14 as ive been basically a wanderer.

I know alot of these personality issues fall on me. But they are rooted from his damage. The only thing stopping me from becoming a heroin addict until i eventually layne staley in my living room is it would devistate my mom, and shes been through enough.

Its not hard to believe bro, I literally had the exact same thing happen to me. The only difference was that I wasn't the bad kid, I got good grades and was the only one who really cared about him. Didn't matter in the end though, got the cops called on me because I went to practice and ended up in correctional facility. The fucking hate I had for him, it was like he always singled me out for everything. He blamed me for anything he could have. He even took away my job then would constantly yell at me for not having money, meanwhile he'd be giving my sister 20 dollar bills every week.

America, in southern louisiana.
See

That's why I haven't actively sought out heroin yet too user...my poor mother has been through enough.

>he would do very cruel punishments and make my mother watch
>he also would make me watch him beat my mother
>fast forward to 2012 I'm 16 at this point.
>come home from a bad day in school. He's already drunk on the couch while my mom is crying and taking care of my little brother in the tub.
>suddenly get so fed up with constant anger
>I walk over to him and grab his beer and dump it in his lap.
>He flies out of his chair and grabs me by my throat and pins me against the wall.
>He punches me in the face repeatedly as I stare into his eyes and giggle every punch.
>He gets fed up throws me on the ground and goes into the other room.
>I go in the bathroom and was the blood out of my eyes.
>I hear him walk into the kitchen
>I take off my back pack and set it next to my crying mother and say it'll all be okay soon mom I love you never forget that.
>I give both my mother and brother a kiss
>I then walk to the kitchen slowly, screaming his name.
> He looks to me and screams what the fuck you want you little bitch you wanna try that again?

Ive already made up my mind. I want to go. I have nothing, and this ride has been anything but bearable. Im not trying to sound all "oh woe is me, cry for me"

I was dealt as shit hand, and i cant play it .
I understand that. And i just want out. I understand why Katelyn davis did it. I dont even feel bad for her, im very hapoy for her. The problem is, the one but of emotion and sentiment i have left is whats stopping me.. and it's not because im scared, im not worried i wont get attention, im just worried about my mom.

Otherwise, i would have cashed out years ago.

once again user, I am 100% on the same page as you with everything. Dealt a garbage fucking hand as well. I'm ready to go off to the other side. Back to where I came from. the void

Continue?

According to superdeterminism there is no such thing as potential. Everything you've done and will do was determined the first few seconds of the big bang. There is was never any other possible outcome other thank was had and what will transpire.

Hey, I've got a similar upbringing so I can relate, anyways I guess all I can say is you're alive and you're able to post here so that means good enough living conditions for internet, so.. we're both winning the fight, I don't really give a shit at this point so if you've got kik or are open to downloading it I'll put mine out there even though I'll probably be harassed

>kawaii.whale

Stay positive and if you message or something I'll check tomorrow, I know that's really weird but I can tell you need to vent and I kinda do to but I'm not comfortable with it being on here for the world to see

Seriously, there's still a chance you can fix things

My girlfriend took her own life in November of 2015,since then I've had no inspiration or initiative. Not to mention the fact that every thing now seems so dull and void of happiness. It's hard to see the silver lining when your silver lining is covered in the brain matter of your loved one

To make matters worse user, i understand what you're saying.

Most people come out of my situation galvanized, and can use that as fuel for the fire. Me on the other hand, on top of my dads shit. Is inherently nihilistic. I already have this negative view, and my past and present do not beifit form that at all

>I'm I can feel the anxiety and adrenaline coursing through my veins at this point
>I'm about 3 feet away from him while he's laughing at my anger
>I then say go ahead try again you fuck.
>He then lunges at me full force
>I then swing a full heymaker into his chin directly making impact.
>He staggers but is high on cocaine and is drunk so he recovers quickly.
>He has visible swelling already around his lips couldn't tell if he was bleeding though.
>He then proceeds to back up to the back door as I continue contacting his face with a flurry of strikes that I picked up from back yard mma fights.
>at this point the microwave is to his right and my left and the back door to his back.
>I connect with one good last punch and he falls.
>I then get into full mount and begin beating his face in while he is unconscious on the kitchen floor.
>I then get up drag him to the doorway of the back door and begin smashing his face I the door and the frame.
>at this point he's so bloody and swollen I can't tell who he is anymore
>his breathing became shallow and fast and congested with blood.
>I wasn't done though
>I then take the microwave from the counter and smash it against his head.
>I blacked out after that point.
> when I regained memory and stability I remember sitting in the back of a police cruiser in hand cuffs and swollen eyes from pepper spray and a few scrapes and bumps from my step father.
>my mother crying while holding my brother in her arms.
>and my step father being rushed into an ambulance

Are you serious user?

If not and you're trying to be funny, thats okay too. I get it, dropping that in the middle of all these shit stories is funny to me, i have a dark sense of humor.

But if not, wow. OP here and i am very sorry.

I always pictured a young person, in new love losing their boyfriend or girlfriend alot worse than a husband/wife losing their significant other of 20+ years to be worse

ill be your friend. user.

-floridaanon

Be me
Get big dick pills
Pills work
Happy as fuck
Feel accomplished and alpha everywhere I go
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Shit you're serious? What happened next?

Thanks bro.

My only friend is my new cat. I actually had a thread to name it on here. Everyone voted Julian.

Maybe some of you remember

Yup, I seen that movie

holy shit i wouldve fucking murdered him with no remorse.

That is a nice pussy.

nice cat friend. hopefully he does good.

I feel you, OP.

I'm the same age as you and have also had a hard life.

I've had a semi-abusive mother and went to a correctional facility as a kid, too. Spent most of my teenage years in and out of mental hospitals.

Paretnts were never physically violent with me, as my mother was/is more into the head game stuff (and damn good at it, too), but when I got a little bit older and started playing with demons, drugs, and gangs, that's when the really fun stuff started.

Been physically tortured, had friends and family members murdered, my little sister and best friend in the world been taken by these people... and I think about her all day, every day...

Stumbled onto what's really going on in this society, framed for crimes and beaten until I have permanent scarring and incapacitating brain damage from people who believed it...

And maybe I'm not a "good" person, but, I was innocent of what I was accused of... not that it matters to angry mobs led by sociopathic manipulators.

And now I have what might be cancerous tumors growing in my bones, lungs, and brain... but I ignore them and don't follow up on any doctor's tests, because I've had cancer before and beaten it miraculously.

I've gotta escape this reality, somehow. I know that this is all just a dream...

Some days, most days, I think about murder, suicide, somehow jumping out of this reality and into the dreamworlds I saw as a kid, or some combination of those things...

There has to be some way out...

I've got to fight. The psychotic little kid in my head is still there, telling me I can beat this, the damage to my body can be repaired, I can fight back and win, I can be healthy and free... I don't know if I'll ever really be joyful about existence, but... if I play my cards right, perhaps I can succeed yet... I'm sober now, don't even smoke cigarettes, and becoming a bit more functional, and I can meditate out of my physical problems...

He survived and had to have facial reconstruction surgery and was In a coma for a week.i spent three months in jail waiting for trial but was never sent to prison because I got off with self defense. I am now 21 and my step father and mother are still together. My step father hasn't touched a single drug or alcohol since that day. He now treats my mother and siblings really well and is trying to begin making our relationship work again. I am currently in the Navy as an EOD and will be ending my contract soon. After that I plan on going into law enforcement and specializing in dealing with domestic violence victims. Me and my step father Skype every Sunday and he likes to tell me all the things he has been doing such as AA and church getting promoted at work and bringing my sibling out to do things like camping and stuff. The day I came home (about a month ago) he took me out for dinner one on one and thanked me for saving his life and his family. He cried and I did as well... life is mysterious anons.

Feel free to ask me questions sorry for bad story telling I was never good at it. Ask me anything I'll try to answer within reason.

Not joking, it was November 15th of 2015. It was long distance at that time, but there was a beartooth concert that was gonna be about half way between us in February of 2016 that was gonna be our first legit date. I know I kinda came off as joking with the brain matter thing but that's just how I deal with things,trying to laugh them off. Honestly though, I have more pictures of her on my phone than myself still. I need to let go, but I don't feel like I can

Thats great to hear user.

OP here. I wish my dad could have gotten that day of reckoning.

I probably wouldnt have stopped.

My mom apparently stopped me but I can't remember. I am not sure what woke him up but I'm glad it did he was a great man before the drugs and now again is a great man off of them.

Im dont want to be the guy to downplay your pain because only you can feel it. But if you guys didn't even meet or formally date and were only talking over long distances... then in sorry for your loss, but you're gonna be okay dude. I swear to christ, unless you're a neet and a complete social shut in, mark my words the first time you go knuckles deep in some sloot in a walmart parking lot, you're gonna forget all about jennifer

trip dubs chezhed

user at least he recognizes what he did and tried to fix it.

my ass jack of a father was pretty abusive, and my mother peaked in highschool mentally. still to this day he will say his "tactics" worked. and one day I needed a ride to a hospital to a doctors appointment so I asked my mother. and she took me, and insisted that she came in with me. i didn't care it was just a pre-appointment so I could schedule a colonoscopy.

and the doctor was asking some questions and shit got personal as fuck, asked if I had ever been abused, and my fucking mum cut in and said no for me.. I just kinda looked over at her and was like "no" like as dead as nails, no..

the fact she doesn't seem to think me getting whacked in the head with various objects and him busting down doors and sheet rock, as "not abuse" is fucking amazing to me. and has scarred me to a point where I don't want kids because I don't want to do any of the shit he did, but the apple never falls far from the tree, and that shit freaks me out.

Yeah man, im glad you were stopped. Because if you did end up killing him, you still would have gotten the shit end of the stick.

Haha, you're probably right, but I am a neet and a complete social shut in lmao. Also I'm one of those faggots that just wants to feel loved, getting fuck is only my #2 goal. But I think I'm at least almost over it. Still makes me sad though, even if it isn't Because I lost her, but because the world lost her. She had a great personality, and body. Just such a waste of such a perfectly good human

I wouldn't be afraid just be the man that you want to show your kids to be. Show them how to treat a women and treat their kids. I'm sorry you endured that. I feel for you man.

Your penis will love you
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Double dubs speaks truth

lol fuck that guy

>I don't want kids because I don't want to do any of the shit he did, but the apple never falls far from the tree, and that shit freaks me out.

Compared to all these stories on here my dad isnt even that bad, just verbally abusive sometimes (he might be bipolar or something but he would be too stubborn to actually get diagnosed) but yeah pretty much this shit freaks me out. It's even scarier considering my dad is moderately abusive cause his dad was extremely abusive (I have some stories if anyone wants to hear)

Yup, tell us

Little background on gramps:
>B 52 tail gunner in ww2
>refused to talk about it
>like seriously you DO NOT BRING THAT SHIT UP
>so some fucked up shit probably happened to him
>comes back home, makes millions of dollars in southern california real estate
>he basically helped shape palm desert (palm springs area) into what it is today
>eventually started his own bank and shit too, the dude was fucking loaded

>Marries my grandma, when she was young she was basically a fucking goddess she was so pretty
>has 5 children with her
>she gets cancer (I think? Maybe some other deadly disease) when my dad is 13-14ish
>she dies
>grandpa falls into alcoholism, etc.
>becomes even more abusive than before
Contd

The nigjtmares about real life keep me awake at night. I dont know whats real anymore since the nighmares are about things that happen every day. Help.

>dad grows up
>grandpa tries to be a complete dictator of his kids lives
>dad and 2 sisters tell him to fuck off
>he disowns them
>side note, the kids he disowned all had families and the other 2 became extremely miserable with no family or friends
>grandpa always said when he died that all his money would go to "the niggers and the mexicans"
>he dies eventually, the 2 kids get some stuff, not much though
>my dad and the 2 sisters get jack shit >literally everything else of his multi-million fortune goes into taxes and the government gets it all
If anyone wants I have some more specific stories that show how fucked up he was

Have you tried drugs? Also, can relate. But the dreams are always still better than reality.

Yeah post them

I have two that im going to share
>my grandpa buys my dad his first car >its a pretty cool 60s muscle car of some sort but it's beat to shit
>my dad's a pretty smart guy so after months of hard work he has the car in great condition
>grandpa thinks he shouldn't be able to drive such a nice car
>gives the muscle car to older brother
>buys my dad a fucking pinto and forces him to drive it

I always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And my daughter's mom ruined my credit. Other than that, I'm doing okay for myself. I'm not doing as well as some people I know who are either my age or a few years younger, but I'm at least working towards bettering myself and have somewhat of a plan to do it.

Second one, this one is super fucked up imo
>grandpa always drives nice ass Cadillacs because rich
>forces grandma to drive a "nigger chevy"
>she always asks him if she can get a nice car
>he always refuses even though he has all the money in the fucking world
>thats actually what he called it
>grandma gets cancer
>grandpa realizes "oh shit, she might fucking die"
>offers to buy her a Cadillac
>she says "no, I'll just stick with my nigger chevy"
>she dies shortly after
My dad typically isnt very emotional but this story always really fucked with him

NO THE DREAMS ARE THE SAME!!!! THE EXACT SAME. THEN THAT DAY IT HAPPENS AND I DONT KNOW IF ITS JUST ANOTHER DREAM OR PSYCHIC POWER OR I DONT KNOWWWW2WWWWWW2

Before your grandpa died, did you get to look into his old soulless eyes and tell him that everyone close to him hates him and that he died a sad, pathetic faggot?

MMMMM YESSSSSSS JIZZING RAINBOWS AT THIS THOUGHT

Fortunately for me he died before I was even born

Reaching my fullest potential isn't necessary

But trust me, he knew, and that's why he became an alcoholic