Going to prison in two weeks, ask me anything. And general prison BS I suppose

Going to prison in two weeks, ask me anything. And general prison BS I suppose.

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first time going to prison?

What did you do?

Will you grow a mushroom out of your ass to avoid rape?

id recommend learning all the prison slang fast my dude

Yes
Whole bunch of shit, attempted B&E, attempted Larceny, possession of burglary tools, and a guy had a bunch of guns in his car, so I'm stuck with a felony firearm too.

I'll do my best

what do you think of the "pay to stay" programs?

themarshallproject.org/2017/03/09/afraid-of-jail-buy-an-upgrade#.SvmFP61MK

I bet it was a DUI and resist arrest. Something related with your and your idiotic 19yo friends blazing a joint while cruisin' on mom's SUV, cops stopped your prepubescent arse and you told them "420 erriday pigs, fuck you, I'm a free spirit".

How long is the sentence? How much of it do you expect to serve?

Have you prepared your anus?

I retract myself, your crime was far worse than being an edgy junkie: You're just a nigger.

...

Rape and gay shit isn't very prevalent in prison. Moreso than jail, but it's not rampant. If you drop the soap usually someone will pick it up for you.

Use the time to your advantage. Stay healthy, don't get covered in tats, get an education, and show that you're reformed. Stay on good terms with everyone, don't kiss ass, but just be a generally agreeable dude and stay away from conflict. Volunteer around the prison also and get to know the guards. If you become friends with the guards they won't give you a hard time and will help you out if anyone's giving you trouble.

How many years, did you plea?

I think it's a natural progression of how the american judicial system works.

Looking at 2, my state has wonky rules on it, so all of it. And I have, smuggling in some crisco to make things easier.

Pleading out to the attempts, looking at two (barring lenience from the judge, which just doesn't seem likely.)

nigger

Two isn't too bad, do you have a good lawyer or a state appointed one?

Just make sure you don't look too hard and stone faced, or too soft and squishy. Try to appeal to the judge as a man who was put in a hard place and made regrettable decisions. Also if you have a father bring him to sentencing and look back at him often. If the judge is a father hopefully he will feel some empathy.

Best of luck, 2 years isn't too bad. It's the difference between 19 and 21, the difference between 45 and 47. When you get out you'll have an appreciation to the outside world.

Is the firearm charge workable? As in argue that an irresponsible gun owner was negligent and that you should only charged with misdemeanor theft?

State. But I wasn't the ringleader (who got 10-15).

And I'm not too worried about the time, to be honest. There were some mitigating circumstances to it all (Which I won't be going into here) so in a pretty decent spot. All things considered.

Are you nervous friend?

Are you gonna have some kind of party / big dinner before you go in? Like, steak, or get drunk, or whatever?

You'd think I would be, but, I feel good. I'm sure that'll change once I get closer to the date, but as it stands I'm pretty happy. Months ago there was two cops with loaded guns in my face and I didn't get killed, so, everything else is a breeze.

Yeah, a bit of a farewell. My family is still behind me, so just something with them. Say goodbye to everyone and the like.

Eat everything you're given. There is a high chance the next meal will be even worse than the last one.

ouch. When you get out stay away from old friends. It really helps when you get to the outside world. One day you'll find yourself easing into your new home, your cellmate will become your friend, and you won't want to leave. Getting back into outside life will take a bit of adjusting, but it's so liberating when you can shit without being watched, walk where you want when you want, and work a normal job.

I hope all goes well for you, I'm still adjusting to normal life, but it isn't too easy for someone like me.

If you get good behavior you could be out in 16. Best of luck Sup Forumsrother!

1. Are there more things that you managed to get away with? Dont worry user you're user in this board.

2. Be honest, what's your ethnicity?

And yes, gay rape is mostly a scare tactic to keep young straight guts out of, and afriad of prison. But it's there if you want it, just saying like....

I heard that actually, the first few weeks, and the last few weeks are the worst.

1. No, nothing that'd affect anything.

2. White as sour-cream

I fucking lost it, noted my friend.

You should get that new phone you put up your butthole. Called beat the boss. Can't be detected by a body scanner.

amazon.co.uk/J8-World-Smallest-Mobile-Phone-x/dp/604016994X

You from a poor household, middle class, or rich?

>amazon.co.uk/J8-World-Smallest-Mobile-Phone-x/dp/604016994X
Fantastic! It even comes with a pull string for easy removal.

Comfortably upper middle class. With ties to law-enforcement actually. Grandfather was a cop, then a dispatcher over a 35 year career.

Looks like bubba is going to tear you a new asshole

I take it all of this came from boredom...

What are your actual interests? If any... And why didnt you expand on them instead?

Which state user?

Long and complicated story, shortish version is mother was a drug addict, and I spent from age 10 to 21 (24 now, 23 when crime took place) taking care of two other siblings. Depression and other shit according to jail doc, then brother in law hatched shit-tier crime and I went along with it. Head-shrinker says 'cry for help' I say I don't know about that.

As for actual interests, cooking, fishing, reading writing.

Michigan, the white part

How did you get caught?

On the scene, red-handed as it were. Another guy involved was standing around all sketchy-like, and someone passing by called it in.

Tell us how it all went down

are u a nigger?

did they catch you ridin' dirty ?

It's really not as exciting as you'd think.

I was at the back down of the building (a... warehouse kinda I guess. Privately owned, but large outbuilding) attempting to break open the lock, cops came, told me to get down, I stood there, they pointed guns at me, told me to get down, stood there again there was some yelling, I got down, arrested, rest is history. Not an exciting epic, I know.

I am no nigger, no.
Not quite that dirty, no. But pretty goddamn dirty.

You didn't actually get into the building? If you just got caught fucking with the lock you probably shouldn't have gotten charged with all that shit unless you talked.

I didn't, but, there were three other guys. Two of them talked, one is taking it to trial last I knew, and the other pled out for three years.

Moral of the story is; don't break into shit.

Why haven't you an heroed?