Any anons here with depression? Sit down. Tell me all about it

Any anons here with depression? Sit down. Tell me all about it.

Also, feels thread.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=86lczf7Bou8
youtube.com/watch?v=07Ys4tQPRis&t=61m45s
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Yes, and I have nothing to be sad about.

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mod depression.
I happen to browse chan site more when i'm depressed.

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I have fucking depression for like... 4 years now?

And you know why I'm sad? I don't fucking know, there was nothing sad or sad in my life. Sure I have a solid hard life but god damn. I'm so pissed everytime when I think about "Why I have depression".

Also I take paroxetin

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This gets me everytime.
youtube.com/watch?v=86lczf7Bou8

God damn that made me feel :'(

I just feel kind of hopeless. All my friends seem to dislike me, and they avoid me whenever possible. They still invite me to parties and shit, but it's definitely out of pity more than anything else, and they talk to me even less there.

To boot, pretty much every girl I've talked to is disgusted by me, even though I'm not overweight and I work out.

I feel like I'm digging myself deeper and deeper into a social hole, but I have no idea how to get out.

Exactly the same as me, user. Had depression for a little over 8 years, still have no fucking idea what I'm so down about all the time. I feel like if i actually knew why, I would finally get out of this rut but i just don't see it happening any time soon

This one, and the story of Ugly will always make me feel. Not necessarily sad, but just, alive? I think that's the word I am looking for.

Yes! I feel the same.
I was even on theraphy, I have my own Psychiatrist, and even they don't know what's goin' on. I want this to end anons, but not by death or somethin I want this to stop.

Also what do you taking user? What pills?

that's the clinical definition of depression.

Do not buy into this bullshit
Trust me, this is far from the truth.

:(

I went through the whole therapy malarkey too but there is only so much they can tell you, and it all ended up being very repetitive and just a waste of time imo. I hope it works out better for you, user.

As for pills, I've been bouncing between Celexa and Prozac. The latter helped a lot for while but didn't really last

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I have had depression since high school. Reason i think is i feel pathetic and stupid compared to friends. I am currently doing an underpaying job with 12 hour shifts, rest of my friends are doing what they like and seem to be enjoying life. I feel like doing suicide when parents are gone i have nothing to live for atm. Unless something magically happens these are my current feelings.

Comparing yourself to others is never a good idea, user. Really does make you feel shitty. I completely understand, I look at all people I was with in school and they're all excelling in life, and I just seem to be the only one who hasn't achieved anything. Fucking sucks man.

I don't understand why I'm depressed, I'm in my colleges track team, cross country team, and rugby team. I'm also doing really well on getting my degree in music and still whenever I get home and I'm not doing anything it feels like I am worthless, I don't get it. I am always sad unless I am distracted. Nobody ever gets it

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I get it. Felt exactly the same when I was in tenth grade. Everything felt pointless and meaningless as well. But I eventually stopped giving a shit about anything and ironically things got more meaning and made more sense. Just find something you're passionate about and hold onto it untill you can escape the feeling

I'm sure this might happen to you guys too, but I tend to go through cycles. I currently do not take any medication directly related to depression, but I might look back into it again.
Long story extremely short..I have been sick with a neurological disorder that has no cure (called Chiari Malformation) since I was 10. For me it causes widespead chronic pain (out of no where my right leg just started killing me one day and got to the point where I couldn't walk on it gor months), and these god damn never ending headaches that feel like nonstop brain freezes 24/7. Chiari also never usually likes to come alone, so it brings a lot of its "friends" which cause a myriad of other issues. I have had 7 brain and spine surgeries, and while they stopped the progression of things (which is probably the only silver lining I can think of), my pain never got any better. At one point I was getting spinal taps done weekly because as painful as they were, they would sometimes provide some relief, even if just for a few hours. Finally my doctors said for me to take a step back from all of these surgeries, and when they came up with a better idea, they would let me know. During that time I lost any friends I had-who wants to hang out when I cant do anything? However I had my brother. He would always choose to stay home with me to keep me company.
Flash forward a little bit, and I ended up going to college and actually graduated on time. I was then accepted into an one year Masters program.
Then things came to a screeching halt. I got a phone call from mother one day saying that something terrible happened and she was coming to get me, and not to drive home. When she got there she told me the news; my brother, my best friend, was in a car accident and didn't survive. I felt like time just froze. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't cry, scream, or say anything. I was just in total shock. That happened 5 years ago, and it still feels just as raw as it did when it happened.

I know that was really long, but it provides some therapeutic relief to just type it all out.

Remember I am always here listening to all of you bros too

If this is helpful: Physical exertion can temporarily elevate levels of brain-derived neurotrophic factor, which is deficient in many people with depression and affects levels of serotonin/dopamine. The good news is that basic SSRIs are likely to work well for you; they are the safest anti-depressant and have almost no side effects unless combined with alcohol. I don't know how down you are with psychoactive medications. St. John's Wort can actually do the same thing but dose is less consistent and you really want consistent dosage.

Took me a minute, but I was able to find it on my computer..

Depression came back after a year. I'm assuming that I didn't have time to be depressed while I was with my ex.

Now I never remember it being this bad. I used to make vague plans for suicide, think about it maybe once or twice a week during my low points but now I can't shake it off. Ever. Even when I'm with my new partner there's a small part in the back of my mind telling me to do it.

I know I can't. I could never. For the sake of my loved ones. But I find it hard to live. Even getting up in the morning seems impossible. I don't know how I can be productive and a decent human like this.

I wish I could disappear with no one remembering me.

Fuck. I'm the same. I had motivation and drive to become a chemical engineer when I was 18. Uni went great until my dad unexpectedly died when I was 19. I've never been the most appreciative son so I've been dealing with crippling depression while loathing in self pity. I failed uni and now I'm in my hometown working in a factory. On top of that, my fiancée and I are having issues and the relationship seems strained. You guys are my only outlet.

I forgot to mention I'm 23 now, if that matters.

yeah, very similar situation right here...
just a minor remark:
>I don't know how I can be productive and a decent human like this.
at least you are still trying to be like "them".
i feel like im at a point where im asking myself how anyone could ever be as retarded as "they" are. do they just not see how pointless life is?
do they really like all the hardship, all the pain and all the disappointments?
do they like being exploited by their countries leaders? dont they see how every society is rigged in favor of those in power?
can they really be that retarded as to actually care about femnazi/sjw-shit and not notice how hypocritical all of this is? they'd just need to take an honest look at africa to notice how unimportant and petty their useless little conquest for social justice is.
do they not see how crappy this world is?
how pathetic human nature is?
do they not want to see?
if so, how can they simply continue living their narrow-minded lifes? its not like you can actually go back, once youve pierced the veil...

God damn, user. You really are me. I have the same views on life. I'm not trying to be an edgelord or anything, but it really does feel like being alive is such a waste when we spend most of it trying to make ends meet.

alright I'm gonna add my 5 cents to the topic. Used to be super depressed and it also only seemed to be getting worse the older I got. Somehow I managed to get a sweet girlfriend with whom I'd pretend to be just a regular happy dude but once we moved together shit just got bad. I would drown in self pity stop going to uni classes and start believing I had all kinds of diseases, would always go to the doctors alot and literally was in pain. Eventually I got therapy and was super mad about being told that I'm not actually physically sick and that all it takes to get better is just to get involved in life. That was the dude's advice. After 8 years with the girl she finally can't take it anymore and breaks up with me and at that point I did decide that I cannot continue like I have. Just always feeling sorry for me. I actually just took the advice and did get involved, I did start working out 4 times a week, I did finally apply for my master thesis at a company I never thought that would accept me. I moved to another city, got the perfect grade for my college degree and am in the shape of my life. I mean this is a short simplified sumup of what happened but in the end I always knew what was keeping my down but I still wouldn't do anything about it. I knew the circle of just living online in a fake world that wasn't reality would never make feel better but I was always too afraid to just get out of my comfort zone and do what it takes. Just to give some hope, I still feel depressed sometimes but it's always for the same reason, always when I decide to get back into old patterns but it's much better now, because I understand how it works and how to get out of it again. Basically you guys are all afraid of failing in the real world that's why you just stick to that world you at least know. You are miserable in it but at least you know it well. Maybe this helps somebody, maybe it doesnt. Just saying, there are ways out.

>Be me
>25
>Medicine student
>Never fell in love
>Never felt something for another woman (not because im gay i just never felt the "conection" that people mentions)
>When i graduate probably someone will come out from fucking nowhere (why would that be?)
>Im feeling that im just destined to live alone as i always have lived
I still believe in that shit of love, should i still believe or just drop that and continue my life assuming that love wont come to my life?

pretty sure I'm not depressed.


anyway.

I think I have lost my faith in people.
and I don't mean that in a figurative sense or anything.
I feel like I'm done with people.

every conversation feels like a drag.
even most conversations with people I thought I cared about.
everything has been said and we just keep moving in circles.

and it's kind of okay.

latley I feel like just not talking about shit anymore.

I just finished my degree. I specialized in a sort of conceptual design (it's kinda complicated) and latley I really can't see myselfe persuing this. I don't want to talk with anybody about my work because it's pointless. the talking that is.

I'd love to work in the bike industry as biking has evolved into a passion.
I love how I can do it alone.
I love how it's rather focused on technology and empirical values such es stiffnes, compliance diameters and materials.

I want a job somewhere and get some money and be cool with it.
that's super contrarian to the whole "I want to be a designer" thing that I (and everybody around me ) thought was cool.

I don't want to save the planet.
I feel like the planet is doing it's thing and I as well as everything is part of that thing.
things just happen.
I feel like it's pretty antropocentric to exclude ourselfes from the concept of a ecosystem like that.

I feel like everything is one gigantic relentless meachanism and what ever happens happens.

I feel like I have given up and won at the same time.

I'm kind of sad but at the same time quitely pleased.

I don't really know aynthing and I guess thats allright.

Post a pic of your face. Maybe it's the reason why girls don't like you.

well damn..

I don't want to sound like an edgy af kid, but could you explain that feeling further and what you did in the next days after the accident? I really can't imagine what i would do, so I'd like to hear it from another human.
I'm sorry for you.

No, I don't think I agree with either of you on that aspect.
I'd like to point to Peterson's speeches, especially this
youtube.com/watch?v=07Ys4tQPRis&t=61m45s
I'd say listen to it until the cut (and maybe some other Peterson speeches if you want more insight on what he thinks of as god etc)

I do believe there is a point to being alive. It's just really hard to find it.

I feel so lonely, sad and depressed right now but my English is too bad to write something understandable so I guess I will continue to read your texts and hope all of you will feel better soon

You're not alone, user. We know how much that shit sucks. I love you dude and I hope your situation gets better.

Just what works for me, but don't try to decide that. If it's genuine then you'll feel shit that may not make sense and you won't be able to snap out of it even if you try. If that feeling doesn't come, try not to stay in the mindset that it has to. People often lie to themselves when they say they feel that way or that they believe in it, and there's plenty to enjoy in relationships without some romanticized concept or anything either way.

Some months ago in another feels thread an user was sad cuz it was his birthday and no one remembered, so a femanon sang happy birthday to him. Anyone got a link or save the audio clip

I just found out that my dad is cheating on my mom. I just cant believe it. Its midnight here in my country & i cant even sleep. I haven't told my mom yet, i don't want to.

quite possibly it has alot to do with how see yourself. Like whatever you are afraid of being and think people will think of you, you will actually become that in the end. Sounds simplified but in the end it's really that easy. I have seen uglyass dude getting alot of girls simply by how they present themselves, simply by not giving a damn what people may think of them. It's not easy to get there but first step is to carefully watch your thoughts. Like when you go to such a party, are you going there with the mindset "well this will suck, nobody is gonna like me anyways, why do I even bother?" yeah I know it ain't either but just think of your mind like a muscle that can be trained and your's most likely has been trained to think bad of yourself to supply an easy explanation why you don't have the life you want "I guess I just suck" far easier than "I guess I really have to do the work to become the man I want to be"