>be me 18 >parents are letting me go on a road trip for spring break with a few best buds, alcohol included >Gf is going to her hometown to meet family with her fat landwhale cousin >LG Life's Good
>gf's family quit out on her (they're fucking assholes) >gf's mom tells her to come with us >killmepls.png >think "Whatever, we'll make the best out of it >we have the first day to ourselves though >pull out 5th of vodka and rum >definitely vodka >user and company drink the entire 5th, play games, chess, etc. >pretty tame night >pass out asleep
>ffw to last night >meet up with gf and Pillsbury Doughgirl >go to some bullshit escape room >easily the worst thing we've participated in >decide to go back to the motel and drink before bed >pull out rum and Coke, serving everyone >I take a few shots to impress the crowd >feeling pretty okay
Then the worst night of my life ensues.
Continue?
Alexander Lee
Bump
Angel Parker
Bump
Jason Lewis
BUMP BOIS
Lucas Bell
More
Easton White
BUMP
Angel Rogers
Hell yes.
Parker Wood
Bump Bump Fucking BUMP!
Lincoln Torres
I smell cuck incumming
Jordan Robinson
go on buckeroo
Jayden Myers
>inb4 cuck
Oliver Ramirez
B.U.M.P
Easton Hill
user can you let whale girl watch us fuck?
Hurry up and get on with your autistic story that never happened
Robert Roberts
here comes another degenerate cuck
Jeremiah Gray
>parents are letting me go on a road trip >gf's mom tells her to come with us >killmepls.png
wat? you can go on a trip with your friends and gf. whats wrong with that.
Lincoln Wood
>leave to go to bathroom >come back and gf is being dp'd by two "buddies" >I'm OK with this because I'm OP and therefore a fag
Kayden Anderson
exactly this
Christopher Baker
>18 >needs to declare that there's parental consent and alcohol involved on the road trip
Adam Sullivan
Hurry up OP!
Chase Green
Bump
Isaac Richardson
>How can I play chess and get drunk with my fag friends if there's a grill around? >Tell her to leave >My homies go with her cause they wanna do something other than drunk chess for springbreak >Cry at the hotel room for a week straight >can't afford the bill, get set to work as a cleaning lady >start my transition to better fill my role >grow my hair and mosquito moobs >then suddenly one day get picked up by an arab oil sheik
Tyler Perry
maybe he ment her fat cousin had to go too?
Jordan Barnes
Let me tell you something, young man. This is a rare occasion for me to hang out with my boys. That and my relationship is unstable, but that's another story.
>put on music having an alright time >"Hey femanon, give me a refill" says my friend >Michelin Woman eyes my friend intently, giving a doubleshot with coke >tease friend about getting laid >everyone, except Gf and I, are 2 shots in >pours herself to 6oz straight booze >everyone, although only half-buzzed, just tease her about being greedy >starts bellowing laughter as she takes another 6 ounces >there's maybe 5 ounces left in the bottle >friends are quiet, I make joke about her being more experienced at this to lighten the mood >Jabba the Hutt finishes off the 5th with the spirit of a Rancor >everyone is silently judging
Now, I know that b has some sjw fucks, but is it sexist to say women are lightweights? I thought so until today
>5 minutes later, Buffalo is bellowing like a viking horn >stumbling around >friends are generally concerned >I pull the short straw and I have to escort her to her room >take 350 pound landwhale by the arm and escort her out the door >"I like it rough user but not this rough" >yeah yeah, whatever, stand on thus fence while I get my shoes >midway through that sentence I hear my girlfriend crying. >decide it's whatever, grab my shoes, and start heading out the door >feel strong push from behind >"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WHY DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH MY COUSIN!? " >I hit the fence hard >girlfriend decides to finish the job >by some amazing features of strength, she lifts me by my jeans and throws me over the fence >slam hard on the hood of my car >last thing I remember I heard the fat bitch laughing
Cont
Dominic Nguyen
>midway through that sentence I hear my girlfriend crying
but why tho
Nathan Rogers
Keep the story going
Sebastian Torres
What the fuck is this shit
Parker Jones
Sup Forums
Eli Sullivan
Turns out girlfriend is both bipolar high and also bipolar drunk. I'll explain in this greentext
>black out only for a bit >I didn't feel half-bad >huge dent in car >best friends decide to escort landwhale and my girlfriend to their rooms instead of helping me >lay on the concrete for a bit >it's cold, yet comforting. >get up to some crazy Mexican, demanding that I pay him to fix my hood >tell him to kindly fuck off >stumble to my girlfriend's room >door is open >landwhale is fully naked, sitting 69 with that friend >friend in obvious struggle >other friend is frozen in shock >Gf is nowhere to be found
Cont later Gf is trying to cuddle me right now
Jack Rogers
fuck you and fuck this shitty story. this barely makes sence.
Jacob Fisher
You're an asshole for perpetrating this shitty thread on unsuspecting anons.
Julian Jackson
i bet this is what happens next
>Long story short, the whale lied about you fucking someone >You had a shitty day by trying to comfort your too trusting gf of an idiot >Made up and now cuddling
Henry Russell
>Get drunk >Get fucked >Watch whale get fucked >Gf is sorry >Whale eats friend >Whale dies cause no water >Gf is mad cause you forgot the tank >Gf falls and dies >Something wrong I hold my head, Gf gone, a nigga dead >Op is in a room with 3 corpses cuddling with dead Gf cause his shit greentexts drove him crazy ;(
Jayden Young
sense*
Wyatt Bell
this is more entertaining than OP's faggoty story
Grayson Sanders
Agreed, I kek'd
Eli Gonzalez
Agreed
Nolan Gray
...
Adam Garcia
Fag excuse for a gay lord of an OP with a shitty story.
Ian Allen
OP is biggest fag in history of Sup Forums Don't just tickle my cock of you're going to get me going grab the thing cup my balls and finish me off.
Blake Russell
>cont later GF is trying to cuddle me right now
wooowww spoilers...
Nathan Turner
Fml my add... I want to hear the end, But somehow i dont give enough of a fuck to wait for op to cuddle with gf..
Michael Butler
same
Xavier Thomas
Fuck everyone talking shit about Op's story. If you don't like it fuck off.
Ethan White
Ok OP, your story is still awful though
Eli Walker
how is that an awful night? you spent some nice fucking time drinking with your friends and gf and a fat drunk whale. what is your problem OP?
Jayden Smith
checked. His problem is he's with a crazy and a beta
Mason Long
Kek
Lucas Gutierrez
Bump
Carter Bell
Who's bumping this? Op was dead for hours, came back for half a shitty story and then left again. Sage in all fields
Ryan Martinez
Bump
Grayson King
She fucks some friend of his for revenge. Predictable/10
Daniel Cook
wait wait the landwale is your gf? why the fuck would anyone cares about your story then? fuck fat girls, they should die choking on cake
Ian Clark
Kys OP
Adam Baker
>>cont later GF is trying to cuddle me right now
>>still alive >>still GF
boring
Landon Carter
Oldfags to the gaschambers!
Anthony Carter
>18 >asking mommy and daddy for permission like the little baby boy you are jesus fucking christ you dysfunctional millenial manbaby
Mason Gray
Sounds like you can't stand your girlfriend OP. Why not just leave her?