Sup Forums I need help

Sup Forums I need help...

>be in relationship for nearly 4 years
>completely happy
>have friend since middle school
>friend is going into same field as me, so we've always had a sort of bond
>haven't REALLY talked to friend in a bit, but we're mutual on all social media and stay connected that way
>we get reacquainted a few months ago and start talking a lot
>going to be living in the same area for a year before gf finishes up her degree and moves out that way with me
>after talking with friend of all the things we can do and plans we're making I realize
>I have very strong feelings for this girl
>feelings that aren't okay for someone in a four year relationship to have for an outside party
>she opened up to me late last night that's she's always admired me, can't wait to work with me in the field, etc - basically everything she can say without outright telling me she's looking for more than friendship

I'm not going to leave my gf, that's out of the question, I love her.

But I also have feelings for this girl I've known for years, much longer than my gf, who is reciprocating them.

By all accounts the friend and I are soulmates. That doesn't have to have romantic connotations, but it's starting to here.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

Do I cut contact with my friend, or do I go on acting like nothing's weird and risk some sort of explosion in the future???

I feel completely fucked here.
Please help.

Pic related.
It feels like my only solution.

God damn, is this really what you perceive as a problem? Not able to handle someone opening her heart while you're in a relationship?

Human have "sunk costs" concepts. A "loss aversion", don't know the exact term in english tbh. But basicly, you're affected twice much by loosing something then by earning something. That's what you're experimenting.

Buy some cheese

I'd consider the possibility of losing a friendship I've had for most of my life a problem, yes.

And I think I understand what you're trying to say.

Well OP I can say I know what you're going through, except I'm married and I have zero chance to change my course at this point.

I know a girl that's been in my life for about ten years now. She's a bag of problems but for better or for worse I do care about her. I didn't realize until it was basically too late though, and my wife is a great woman and I wouldn't leave her either.

So all I can do is sometimes think about what might have been and know deep down that I did fuck up, years ago, long before I ever had marriage on the table with my wife. Do I regret marrying her? Well, no. My life is going to have zero grief in terms of crazy bitch problems. However, I will always know that I never gave my friend a chance and she'd probably be a lot better off now if I had.

If you really think she's your soulmate then nothing is permanent until you say "i do." I guess what I'm trying to say is don't do what everyone else thinks you should do, just do what's best for you and if you think that, you probably shouldn't go further with your girlfriend. Good luck

Bump

And just so you know, If you feel this way and the situation presents itself, you're going to want to cheat. That I can almost guarantee.

That's the exact kind of situation I'm afraid of

(Except my friend isn't crazy... no offense)

I love my gf
I don't want to leave her

But I value my relationship with my friend so much, I don't want to lose her either

Fuckme

Well tbh her crazy shit is sort of why I never went there. You have one less reason than I did.

And how could you say you love your girlfriend and then say you're soulmates with someone else?

Maybe it's possible to love two people at once, at least for different reasons.

Hey OP! You're retarded! If you love your current girlfriend, then stay with her! If not, break up! Don't cause your girlfriend any more pain. Don't be a selfish fuck.

I mean, this comment is great. Folks I mean to tell you, this is a great comment and I mean great.

You should fuck your friend. We aren't meant to be monogamous. Do you really want to live the rest of your life not knowing how good a relationship with her could be? As far as your gf goes, you can't ever tell her because she will never understand. The key is you need to be honest to your friend, and tell her you think you have feelings for her but you just want a fwb situation.

You don't have to want to fuck someone for them to be a soulmate

And you can have more than one

I've got a guy friend who I consider a soulmate as well

Thankfully I'm not in a similar predicament with him

And you Don't you fucking come into m thread projecting your bullshit onto me

I'm NOT planning on leaving or cheatong on my gf.

I have way more self control than that.

Well good luck. Someone will end up getting hurt.

> staying in a relationship when it takes self control not to leave

Consider for a second you were in your gfs place, only that you knew the full picture. How would that feel? What would you want to happen?

What's your power in the relationship? Can you just calmly bring up your desires, and ask your wife to repay you what you've given her in this way?

Or do you have that kinda pull in your setup?

She'd say the expected bs of wanting me to be happy

Also I'm not sure why people keep thinking I'm struggling to not just dump my gf for my friend???

That's not the issue
The issue is that I don't want to lose my friendship with said friend

Would the best course of action be to just level with my gf about how this girl feels about me?

I'm not sure, but I think gf would be okay with hearing it. She trusts me. A lot.

It just sucks because my friend and I had so many plans for our careers working together and such.

I'm going to give you a no bullshit answer from a happily married man.

If you're truly happy in your relationship of four years, this wouldn't be a problem. I'm going to give you the best advice I can...

Sit back and examine your relationship very closely. There has to be something lacking, or this wouldn't be an issue. If you find out what it is, and you want to keep your relationship, then fix it.

At least do that before you do something you may end up regretting. Good luck.

> Suddenly pretending you don't have feelings for your friend.

Show your gf your original post. Then see how much she is okay with continuing as before.

Here's the issue OP, ready?

You're a faggot.

If you were honest with yourself you would see your "I wanna work with my friend so bad" shtick is horse shit.

Fine.
I want to fuck the shit out of my friend.
I want to absolutely destroy her.
I'm pretty sure she wants me to, too.
And we may or may not be in love.
Is this what you want to hear?

Me having these feeling and impulses doesn't mean I HAVE to act on them.

Why would I throw out a four year relationship like that?

I'm just trying to find a way to not lose a friendship. Goddamn.

This is turning into some soap opera buuuuuullshit Sup Forums.

Yeah this is fake as fuck. You're trying way to hard right now.

Are you a fucking retard?
Choose the one with the hottest ass.
Moron.

/thread

Of course
This is it

Gf has bigger, bouncy ass
Friend has tighter, fit ass

Advice?

Not fake just mildly panicked
Also realizing Sup Forums has the collective reading comprehension of a kindergartner

No, but it's what you needed to hear, wasn't it? Feels good to say the truth out loud, doesn't it.

And there's nothing wrong with it, bro, but if you do decide to hook up with your friend, you need to cut your girl loose. It's not fair to any of the three of you.

Just food for thought.