ITT: Stories about your family

ITT: Stories about your family

>Be me
>Be elderlyfuck living with wife
>Pic related. It's me
>Son just got married to a woman with kids
>Son lives a few states away and is bringing the new family up to see us
>They get here and the family looks okay. Basic wife, dirty blonde oldest son, and filthy ginger youngest son
>Anyway, fast forward a few days and the lil ginger fuck catches wind that we have internet
>He asks to use my computer.
>I don't see why not, so I allow it
>I go back into the living room to read The Bible/ Hobbit
>Suddenly, I hear from my fucking computer,Dance of the Bumblebee, only it's made entirely of FART noises
>Whattheactualfuck.webm
>I run into the room and see him minimizing the browser.
>I shit you not, this fucking ginger searched "PICTURES OF POOP" on youtube, on MY fucking computer
>He minimized the browser, yet the audio was still playing REALLY loud
>I start screaming "EW YUCK" like a fucking autist
>The whole family is now gathered in the computer room listening to Poop Melody while this kid is trying so hard to make the noise stop
>EW FUCKIN YUCK
>The kid finally makes the noise stop
>Lil shit isn't allowed to play for the rest of the day
>Fast forward to the next day, he comes up and asks if he can play on my PC
>Pictures of Fuck No

>True story, anons

GRANDCHILDREN
THEY'RE KIDS
FOR PEDOPHILES

>good story
10/10

>Thinks fart noises are over the line
>posts on Sup Forums

Terrible bait, friend. Try harder

I'mma kick your fuckin ass. You hear?

PS: If yall want more stories, I got a shit ton about these lil faggots

TELL US MORE STORIES ABOUT YOU PEDOPHILING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.

I'M LISTENING

moar pl0x

>ancientfag
He is the chosen one...

Very well user....
I remember this one time....

>Ginger fuck was grounded for doing some autistic shit.
>Wasn't allowed to watch TV
>Older brother seems to have had an idea
>I know yall think i'm lying, but I swear on my left nut, this is true
>The older brother ran in gingerfuck's room and turned on porn on his PC (he got his own fuckin computer at this time), then called for us to put him in trouble
>Gingerfuck got an extended punishment + asswhoopin
>I knew what happened, but I was still very pissed at gingerfag for what he did, so I didn't say shit.

Wanna hear about the time gingerfuck rickrolled me?

I want to hear about the time you buggered him

That's a story for the future, user....

Soon... That little ginger ass will be mine.

I'll show him what else he can use his pooper for.

There was this other time.
(Note: The grandkids know that I REALLY like books)

>I hadnt discovered the chan yet and had no fucking clue what a meme was
>Browsing on my netbook
>Little gingerfag approaches me (By now you know that gingerfag is up to no good)
> "Hey grandpa user, did you know that you can get free books at dafk.net/what/ ?"
>Maybe the little shit isn't so bad after all.
>Dafk.net/what/
>Never gonna give you up
>Never gonna let you down
>I'm ready to beat this fucking ginger into the ground
>I have to keep cool, son and daugher in law are watching me
> "I don't think it's very nice to use other people' electronics for your own enjoyment"
>Implying poop incident
>Gingerfuck laughs and walks away
>I swear on my right nut, I will kill him some day.

I have more stories, but I need to know that this thread is still alive and I have an audience to listen to my tragic tales of this disgusting, no good gingerfuck.

>I will kill him some day.

Don't put it off too long gramps, you look like you're on your way out yourself.

I swear to you, Sup Forums... I will not die until gingerfuck has drawn his last breath.

buy HRT pills and put them in his food

show me ur dick

HRT pills. Will do. Any traces left behind?

And my dick? Sorry user. It ain't what it used to be.

Alright. Grandpa's got another one for you guys.

>daugher inlaw finally catches on that I hate this redhaired niggerfuck
>She gets all triggered and shit and sends them away to their other grandparent's
>In the house is just me, my wife, my son, and my pissed off daugher in law
>She keeps making snide remarks to me, being a REAL bitch.
>Bring it on you mother of a fucking devil
>I start letting the paper rip
>Farts out the yingyang
>I swear I had that house smelling like rotten ginger
>Daugher in law is obviously uncomfortable
>I hope that the bitch says something about it
>She dosen't
>Continue the rest of the day obnoxiously ripping paper
>Fucking grandkids return the next day
>Don't stop ripping paper
>Turns out the dirty ginger dosen't like farts as much as he thought he did
>Faggot hides in his room
>No more ginger for the rest of the day

dont, know, but worth the risk
change and obnoxious bastard, for a teen trap

No thank you. Traps are fucking gay...
So are gingers....

Traps it is!

Okay user... I'm trying so hard to think of other stories. I swear i'm not lying. I've already put both my old man nuts on the line... But this gingerfaggot. I swear to god...

His brother is alright. him and I used to throw some playful punches before my back got fucked up.

post nudes of your wife or gtfo
nobody gives a flying fuck about this brady bunch bullshit

Then why you all up in my thread talking this bullshit wantin you some grammy titties? How about you fuck off my damn board? How about that? You a ginger? You act like a fucking ginger.

SHOW GRANDPA SOME RESPECT WILL YOU? ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR AND YOU CANT EVEN TREAT HIM RIGHT.

ginger niger

But you will destroy his social life, probably his older brother will abuse him

Lhdgsmgsmgssykskyskgsgkfzgk

He's abused the fuck out of me. It's my turn.

Wtf that gay

He's a real winner op

YOU'RE gay. I bet your best friend in the womb was a shit ton of abortion pills.

Thank you very much. I did just recall another story. Care to lend me an ear?

Drink bleach op plox

Moar plox

>be me
>have family
r8 pl0x

Bitch, I drink bleach every morning, alongside a tall glass of pussy juice

Anyway...

>Was last year
>Another damn family gathering
>Can't stop staring at daugher in law's ass
>Bonermodeingage
>Run off to room to get me some porn
>Go under bed for playboy mags
>Playboy mags are not where I left them
>Fuckin ginger
>Run to family room. Boner is kill just thinking about that damn dirty ginger
>"Where is Jacob user?"
>Wife tells me he's in the bathroom
>Ohbullshit.png
>Open bathroom door
>Gingerfuck is wanking microdick to my playboy girls
>I snatch up my damn playboy mag
>Gingerjizz all over girls
>Slam down playboy mag
>Run and tell his mom
>Gingerfuck is screaming like a bitch
>Gingerfuck is spank
>Gingerfuck hates me more than ever
>I had to throw away my hottest Playboy for that dirty bastard...

I'll rate your story shit/10

I have a family too and I fucking HATE those bastards. ESPECIALLY that damn ginger and his torpedo ass freckles.

Gingerfuck soundslike an absolute shithead, please put him down with a blowtorch.

Okay Sup Forums.. I saved the best for last, and not to mention, this fucking thread is dying cause yall pussy bitches can't respect me enough to stay here....

I'mma tell you about the time I knocked up gingerfuck's mom

>During our first visit
>Bedside, praying to bilbo baggins
>Door opens
>Gingerfuck's mom
>Gingerfuck's mom tells me gingerfuck, blondechad, and my son are all asleep
>Bitch gets horseshit crazy and lifts me up onto my bed
>Bitch. I wasn't done praying
>I fall on my ass because fat as fuck
>She, no shit, jumps on me and fucking tears my pants down
>We engage in the yummy sex
>Climax
>She leaves
>Still pissed that I didn't get to finish praying.

Please God.... No more gingers.... Please?

>be me
>be 8
>mother and father always fight
>family always on precipice of fight
>i am only boy, have 3 sisters
>eldest one is emotionally unstable/immature
>2nd eldest is sarcastic and apathetic, but cares for me somewhat (since she raised me as a proxy mom)
>youngest is my little sis, i care for her because i have a soul
>eldest and 2nd eldest fight often
>i am constantly abused by my eldest sister, im her punching bag (usually just verbally)
>one day she comes to me playing on comadore (because my coping mechanism was dissociation, since i learned in bbible school that violence is never a solution. this was because i had very violent tendancies, since i didnt fit in with the shits at school well (on retrospect i probably have a worrior gene, since provication would lead to me going bezerk))
>She had a bad fight with 2nd eldest, i could hear it
>she starts screaming at me, i try to get around her but she is blcking the doorway
>ImFucked.png
>She starts physically attacking me
>bezerk mode activate
>attack my eldest sister by pulling her hair
>she does the same with me, begins chocking me and beats my head into the crown at the bottom of the walls
>fighitng for my fucking life
>give up, decide i dont want to live in a shitty family anymore
>she stops, and leaves to keep fighting with 2nd eldest sister
>eventually i get back up and decide to walk to find mom
>i hate the world and wish i had the power to wipe out the world and people like her. (this is probably where my misanthropy came from)
>my little sister was beaten too, but i am seething with such vitriol for humanity that i deny her to come with me and tell her to leave me alone (threatening to hurt her, thus causing this tortuous cycle to perpetuate)
>she follows me anyway, and my heart softens towards her
>"maybe i will keep people like her in my future utopia"
to be continued

(OP GRANDPA HERE)
You should cuntpunch that bitch. HARD.

continued
>me and my little sis eventaully find my mom but she is "busy"
>my mom always hung out with her friends and left me and my siblings at home with either a babysitter or the eldest sister in charge
>to this day i know little about my parents except that i probably came from my mothers womb
>mother keeps me there to avoid me being further beaten
>i still have a dent in my head from my sister's abuse
this is the story of how i became a closet sociopath/psychopath

we have all become older, i feel i have matured since then and have learned to contain my anger.
Just wanted to get this off my chest and to help me remember how i became who i am today.

you wanna tell ME about getting older?
Take it from me, kid. Beat the ever living shit out of her. It will cure your phycopathicy. It will better you. It will make you stronger. It will make you like ME. I'm planning to beat the ginger out of gingerfuck.

It's not the right way.
I became a pacifist when i repeated the cycle with my little sister and started to realize i had become what i hated the most.
So i stopped.
I regret all the times i took out my anger on my little sister and we are now more like siblings and less like rivals.
I have also forgiven my elder sister, though i keep my distance because i haven't forgiven her fully.
Family has gotten better and i have gained self-control over my anger (mostly).

I am happy and my demons haunt me no longer.

Take it from me pops, bringing harm to those you hate will never sate your blood-lust.

Vengeance heals no wounds, and only breeds vitriol.

But.... He watched poopy pictures on my computer. I can take a beating, i'm no pussy. But when you fuck with my PC, shit's going down... However, You are correct. I won't kill him. I'll beat him VERY slowly.

Over a PC?
you truly are a faggot.

Maybe i have an easier time forgiving, since i am jaded (i theorize due to exposing myself to porn around that time.)

OH FUCK OFF. I'm no faggot. I get good pussy. I have a hard time forgiving because gingerfaggot never changes.

I'm going to sleep. Good night Sup Forumsrothers.
I shall return to being another user in the ocean.

You are a faggot if you need to brag about how much puss you get without any need to. That is closet homo shit bro.

You be the example for gingerfag, he will follow suit if you forbear/be patient with him and his activities. He is still family so treat his as such.

I'm asleep

heed my advice then and at least consider it.

I'm asleep

Dad.. You fucked my wife and hate Gacob that much?...

I have to divorce her.. No choice now

i'll consider that a yes.

DEREK?

Magazines are obsolete now you old man.

One word
"Cuck"

Three words:
"Trying Too Hard"

That's not my name and you know it..