Be playing D&D

>be playing D&D
>character is alone in forest
>lost all communication devices
>hear rustling in bushes
>man eating creature spots me
>holding bladed weapon
>ohshit.jpg
>runs towards me
>roll for escape
>rolls 15
>fuck yeah
>runthefuckaway.gif
>didn't run in any particular direction
>completely lost
>godammit
>man eating creature could be anywhere
>spot light in distance
>roll for stealth
>rolls 5
>fall into trap
>fuckthathurts.png
>leg caught
>bleeding profusely
>have to amputate quickly
>wrap up stump
>limp toward light
>small house
>man eating creatue inside
>roll for stealth
>roll 19
>aww yeah
>sneak behind him
>roll for attack
>roll 17
>good roll
>grab his throat
>force him to ground
>man eating creature attacks
>roll to evade

>roll 17
>damn i'm good
>disarm him
>roll to attack
>roll 20
>crits motherfucker
>stab man eating creature
>falls to the ground
>no help in house
>start to leave
>hear movement behind me
>man eating creature stands
>THISISN'TEVENMYFINALFORM.mov
>pulls out gun
>aims at my head
>roll to evade
>roll 14
>small flesh wound
>roll to attack
>roll 18
>kungfumanouvre.gif
>grab axe
>roll to attack
>roll 0
>man eating creature dodges
>fuck, not now
>hp low from amputation
>man eating creature rolls 20 for evade
>shitimgonnadie.tiff
>roll for attack
>last hope
>you can do it
>roll 20
>fucking finally
>right to the jugular
>head comes off
>fall to ground
>1000 xp
>lay on ground to rest


tl;dr You are finally safe, from shia lebeouf

>roll 0
It's like you're retarded or something.

>roll 0

flumph / 10

>Roll 0

what

maybe he has a -1 to hit something because of amputation.
But then the 20 doesn't make sense.

>roll for escape
There's your problem, faggot

Would this creature happen to be Actual Cannibal Shia Lebouf?

I laughed op :)

Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf

...

haha this is awesome

>playing Warhammer Fantasy, the old one, early 2000s
>after much deliberation team ends as chaos worshipers
>on a secret mission to spread the agency of chaos
>sorcerer, champion of tzeench is on trial after city guard found out he was doind some weird shit to city walls
>guy accumulated a mass of corruption points from doing chaos shit, but always rolled really nice on containing that so he looks human
>It's just that he is brimming with chaos, and at this point needs to take a roll even when slightly stressed
>he fucks up his rolls on trial, he actually made the judge and guard more suspicious about him
>now sweating, and stuttering, he is yelling "I did nothing wrong"
>made him make a sanity check for all those corruption points
>ofc rolls a 1... for those of you that do not know, in WHF you rolled d100
>make him roll changes
>mark of tzeench
>another sanity roll ... 3
>table of changes
>monstrous size
>last sanity roll ... 9
>summon a lesser deamon
>So mid yell, "I did nothing wrong!" he grows to 12 feet height, turns into a birdperson (with a beak, semi functional wings, bird legs, and covered in feathers), and air around him explodes summoning a lesser horror of Tzeench
>Oh I forgot to tell, that city was the home city of some anti chaos order, with like 500 paladins and clerics stationed there.

>Meanwhile another player
>all that time while sorcerer was doing subversion, getting caught, trialed, mutated and then purged in a massive fight
>was just walking from village to village, defenceless in a brown robe
>he would walk to the well, pop a sore or one of his boils into the well, and then fuck off to another village
>In a week he turned entire region into a devastated hellhole with plague, nuglings and zombies everyfuckingwhere
>all while going "HoHoHo come to grandpa" like a perverted santa

dat -1 on ur dex eh

nice one

>So mid yell, "I did nothing wrong!" he grows to 12 feet height, turns into a birdperson (with a beak, semi functional wings, bird legs, and covered in feathers), and air around him explodes summoning a lesser horror of Tzeench

Shia labouf

>roll to escape because something's walking at you
>dont need to roll to amputate and dress your own leg
>roll 0

lel