This is Part 1 of the Tales of Dave the Autistic IT Guy

This is Part 1 of the Tales of Dave the Autistic IT Guy

>be me
>junior in high school
>it is towards the end of the first semester, so the entire school is taking midterms
>school has recently switched over from pen and paper tests to electronic tests
>test day arrives
>class is informed that any attempt to cheat will be punished severely
>Dave the Autistic IT Guy is tasked with monitoring all of the computers via a single computer in another room
>test is over
>we are getting ready to leave
>girl next to me picked up her backpack and sets it on her desk
>big mistake
>her backpack accidentally hits the keyboard, and somehow command prompt opens
>she notices and tries to close it frantically
>within 10 seconds of her opening it, Dave flings the door open
>he points at her, an autistic rage boiling inside of him
>”WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
>”Sir, i promise, it was an accident”
>”BULLSHIT< YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING”
>”Sir, I swear it was all a big mistake
>”YOU CAN EXPLAIN THAT TO THE PRINCIPAL!”
>he grabs her arm with his massive sausage fingers
>she tries to break free, but her resistance is futile
>the strength granted to Dave by his autism is immense
>she gets carted off and is never seen again

Lemme know if you guys want a Part 2.

P.S. Part 2 gets so much better

not really, basically you are making fun of 3/4ths of the people here and that dumb cunt knew well enough not to try her lame ass script kiddie warez.

bitch got what was coming to her

Part 2 DOOOOOO it aniken

Part 2 already faggot

Ffs keep this autism alive

We need more of this, deus vult!

This is Part 2 of the Tales of Dave the Autistic IT Guy

>be me
>senior in high school
>taking several digital design classes
>teacher is older than dirt
>she barely knows anything about computers
>whenever she had a problem with computers, instead of calling Dave, she would ask me to help
>built up a reputation with being able to fix tech
>teacher thinks I’m so tech savvy and we become good friends
>one day in class she gets a call
>after the call, she motions for me to come to her desk
>there is a substitute teacher who can’t get her projector fixed
>make my way out of class and towards the substitute’s class
>when I enter the room, I see Dave the Autistic IT Guy underneath the desk unplugging stuff and looking at the projector
>I asked the teacher what happened
>she said that the projector wasn’t turning on
>this particular projector doesn’t have a button on the outside to turn it on so the only way is via a remote
>I examine her remote
>notice that the brand on the remote doesn’t match the brand of the projector
>Dave is still fumbling around on the floor in front of a classroom full of freshmen
>I search around the room, and finally find a remote that matches the brand
>try it
>it doesn’t work
>Dave notices and practically yells “THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT REMOTE”
>I tell him that it has to be because it is the only one in the room that matches the projector
>Dave gets flustered and just lets out an autistic grunt as he continues to unplug and plug in stuff
>I examine the remote and notice that it has no batteries
>I search the room again and find fresh AAs
>I insert them into the remote and try it out
>Lo and behold, it turns on
>Dave looks like he doesn’t know shit about anything in front of the teacher and the entire class
>The entire class starts laughing at Dave, and Dave loses it
>He screams an autistic screech and slams the door as he leaves
>And that was the day that I became Dave’s mortal enemy

It only gets better from here. I will post part 3 soon.

ITT things that never happened

btw, either post your story or fuck off. nobody cares about you, just your potentially amusing story

Lmao that file name, hurry up with part two already faggot!!!

Part 3!!

This is Part 3 of the Tales of Dave the Autistic IT Guy
>be me
>senior in high school
>comm tech class
>this class is also taught by a geriatric woman who doesn’t know computers
>word has gotten around that I am good with tech
>she motions me over and I come to see what is wrong
>she says her computer is running slow
>before I can try to examine it, Dave walks in
>the minute he sees me, he stops dead in his tracks
>he gives me the death stare
>after a while, he continues towards the computer
>he begins running several diagnostics
>he cannot figure out what is wrong
>he checks several other things, but he cannot for the life of himself figure out what is wrong
>he storms off in a fit of autistic rage
>I take a look at her computer
>mfw she has over 100 projects in Photoshop open and running simultaneously
>I tell her that she has to close out some of those projects
>she does, and he computer runs fast
>Dave has cooled down, and he comes back into the room
>teacher tells him what was wrong and that I fixed it
>he glares at me, and he storms off again, more angry than the first time, muttering and autistically grunting
>Dave-1 user-0

Part 4 is coming soon!

>adult male placing his hands on teenaged girl
how the fuck did he not get in trouble for that?

>Dave-1 user-0
Ok, so who is taking L's here? u or Dave?

tbf there was an IT guy at my school you used to take photos off all the girls at school and he never got in trouble

C'mon, you fag, I'm not getting younger here

This school was in the middle of nowhere. Nobody cared, and he was the only one who could do his job. Or so he thought. That's why he hated me. He saw me as a threat. Next story will make sense when you take this into consideration.

da fuq?!?!? how come?

>ITT things that didnt happen
this is a dissapointing thread user

fuck off faggot, I'm enjoying this

Moar?

This is Part 4 of Dave the Autistic IT Guy
>be me
>senior in high school
>comm tech class next day
>start chatting with teacher
>ask her what Dave’s problem is
>she says that he doesn’t like her very much
>tells me the following story
>she walks into her classroom at the beginning of the day, and turns of her projector
>it doesn’t work
>she keeps trying and trying, and finally it turns on
>she notices that her computer is displaying upside down
>without her even touching anything, the pointer scrolls over to word and starts typing
>DON’T CROSS ME AGAIN BITCH
>I ask her what that meant
>She said she was sure that it was Dave
>I ask her why Dave would do that
>she tells me that she was getting ready to rat him out
>I ask her what for
>Since she’s retiring that year, she doesn’t care and just tells me
>She believes that Dave is intentionally creating problems on people’s computers and then fixes it himself
>that way, he has a sense of job security
>she tells me that she has evidence, but that she can’t show any of it to me
>I ask her if there is anything that I can do to help
>She says that it is best to stay out of it
>I begin formulating the plan to bring Dave to justice
>”You’re gonna pay, Dave. You’re gonna pay.”

Part 5 may take a while. Bear with me guys.

Bump

This thread is gonna fucking die at this pace, type this shit beforehand next time. Also, bump

How does it feel to be retarded?

This shit should be pretyped faggot

Bump while waiting for OP

Bump

better step up your game OP

Tfw I'm waiting patiently for autism stories

I don't even care if this is fake it's interesting

Bump

Bumpity-dumpity autistic-faggity

Part 5
>Dave comes home to his wifeless, childrenless, and depressing home
>Gets on Sup Forums to write made up stories about being a cool younger version of himself who is better than him
>Samefag pretending like anyone actually gives a shit about him
>Jerks off
>Falls asleep
>Wakes up and goes back to shitty reality

I'm pretty sure OP is Dave
BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO PRETYPE

bump

Kek

Perfect ending

...

bump

>I have proof but I can't show you

How about that fucking "don't cross me again bitch"? Is that not proof that Dave aka OP is fucking around?

Also a projector that does not have any buttons to turn on besides the remote does not exist.

I'd love to suck a creamy log of poo from his fragrant boipucci

as a teacher who uses projectors often, yes they do. Often the buttons also break.

This is Part 5 of Dave the Autistic IT Guy

>be me
>senior in high school
>Dave is a liar and a fraud
>I have developed a plan to expose him Chris Hansen style
>I coordinated with several other students to mess with the computers, but only in minor ways
>changing backgrounds
>inverting colors
>stuff like that
>I film the entire thing, showing how minor the problems were and how easy they were to fix
>6 computers have been messed with
>now all we have to do it trigger the bait
>I use someone else’s profile to logon and I open command prompt
>I logon to my profile on another computer nearby and wait
>wait for bait to be taken
>Dave stomps in furious to see who opened command prompt
>he sees that several other computers have been messed with
>he starts getting overwhelmed
>he tries frantically to fix the computers, but he can’t do it for the life of himself
>I ask him why it’s so hard
>show him how to fix the problems and I call him out on how easy it is
>then I confront him about the incident with the comm tech teacher’s projector, and I threaten to go tell the administration if he doesn’t give me what I want
>he wants to be furious, but he is being filmed and he knows he’s been caught
>he agrees to my demands
>I tell him what my conditions are
>leave the teachers and the computers alone
>admit on camera that he doesn’t know anything about IT
>give me 25 bucks
>says all he has on him is a 25$ gift certificate to Chili’s
>I take it
>give video of confrontation to teacher
>I eat a free lunch at Chili’s that day
>Victory never tasted so mediocre

Part 6 will be the final installment of Dave the Autistic IT guy!

>she tells me that she has evidence, but that she can’t show any of it to me

This is Part 6 of Dave the Autistic IT Guy
>be me
>freshman in college
>first day of classes
>I wake up early and go to MickeyD’s for a Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit meal
>I walk up to the counter and order my meal
>as I am waiting on my meal, I glance around to distract myself
>that’s when it happens
>my eyes locked with his
>wait, it can’t be
>IT IS
>IT IS DAVE
>Dave sees me, and gives me the death stare, but this time, he’s more angry than I have ever seen him
>Food is ready
>I go to get my meal and I sit down to eat
>the entire time I’m eating, Dave is giving me the death stare, his face becoming increasingly contorted with autistic rage
>he finally finishes and leave the restaurant
>not soon after, I finish my meal and head out the door
>as I walk towards my car, I feel 2 hands on my back, and within a split second, I am eating pavement
>Dave had pushed me to the ground
>He begins yelling with pure rage
>”DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME?”
>”What are you talking about?
>YOU COST ME MY JOB YOU LITTLE SHIT. NOW, YOU ARE GONNA PAY!”
>He goes to kick me, and is tackled by another patron
>mfw he hits his face on a tree as he goes down
>mfw the cops are called and Dave get’s arrested
>mfw Dave is probably being assraped in jail as I type this

And so concludes the saga of Dave the Autistic IT Guys

kek

thanks OP for sharing o/

...that was a terrible story.

Total bullshit

>Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit meal

fucking best item for breakfast at McD OP, nice taste

No they don't. Even ceiling mounted projectors have a power button in them of some sort because redundancy and to completely cut off power delivery.

But hey, I guess a teacher would know more about it than someone that has spent the last 7 years working at a store that also has contracts with schools and enterprise clients for installation and support for all kinds of shit.

Can someone Screencap? Mobile fag here

OP never fails to be a huge faggot.

I am too user. Fuck this guy

you sound like the one who's the autist OP, kys

Congrats on being retarded and being able to enjoy a story that is poorly written, not funny and manages to end without any kind of punchline.

The end user would know more than the guy who sells them I totally agree with you

Well then call me a retard. But isn't more retarded to read a story u didn't enjoy. Kys

warm and creamy

Yeah, makes total sense that someone would be able to provide support without knowing what the fuck they were doing. Especially in enterprise scenarios where very expensive things break and need fixing right away.

I guess that is why we have these contracts going. Because the end user knows so much.

Joke's on you. I'm getting the notifications and replying. Only read part1