Hey /b

Hey /b

I broke up with my ex right before New Years and went on a semester abroad to get away from things. Downloaded tinder one night while drinking with my roommate. Didn't expect it to lead to anything, but started talking to a guy and felt like we really hit it of. Started seeing him, and hooking up. He introduced me to a lot of his friends and seem super happy about it. Because I'm a crazy person I start thinking there might be a chance we could actually have a relationship and I could move here permanently.. Turns out we have similar kinks, at least he's into mine and willing to explore things, so I get even more attached. Finals are coming up, and all of a sudden he's super busy, and can't see me as much but we snap and text most of the day. When we hang out its great tho, so I kind of ignore the fact that he's not really making time for me. Last time I saw him was Wednesday. Today I was hanging out with a friend and she asks me for a picture of him, and I show her his tinder profile. Turns our he recently changed it. Really feel like texting him that I saw he changed it and that I'll take the hint, but I don't want to start shit because I'm pretty sure he will just let me go. I need validation and reassurance so badly that I'm still debating being ok with all this.

Please tell me how much of a retarded bitch I am for getting attached and thinking he wanted this stupidly unrealistic thing, and for not seeing what's going on.

op thats pretty fucking gay

Life's too short... Fuck it, have some fun.... Stupid bitch

It's gay af and I honestly don't recognize myself acting this way
that's what I was trying to do, worked out great. Guess I'm that retarded lol

Gay, tits or GTFO>fact.

Go for it if you think you might regret it. It's better to have finality then to spend your life wondering. If it blows up in your face (in a bad way), then I'm sorry but at least you won't have any regrets.

lol the thing is, girls on tinder are not for relationships, its a fuckapp. he will probably think you are a proper psychostalker if you text him that you take the hint haha, like you were something to him. go search for the next dude to fill upp your anus

Profile can change to his fb pic if they are linked, so perhaps he just changed fb photos

Like text him about it? I just don't feel like there's a real chance he would be back on tinder if he actually saw this as something he could be serious about.

I wasn't honestly expecting it to be anything but hanging out and possible sex. But we've been doing a ton of relationshippy things so I stupidly thought there was an actual chance lol. You're right tho. I should probably just let it go and stop seeing him.

Photos are the same, profile text changed.. So no chance of that

what did he change it to

Fuck you're stupid. Just because you use it for one thing does not mean it was made for that thing. Same with Grindr, it's not a fucking hookup app. Fuck off.

Just a completely new profile text.

as a guy i'd like to see what was said to gauge his intent

Sounds like every other person on Tinder. Shallow as shit and unwilling to form even the most basic commitment to form any sort of monogamous relationship.

Online dating is shit, OP. I'm attractive, funny, smart, have a good job, and strike a good balance in being the right kind of asshole, one who is funny and confident but still listens and cares. Yet I've never had a good online dating experience.

You're just a number and a body on there. People just window shop, and you're just a product on the line. They can buy whatever products they want and as much as they want; the kind of people dating online are shit. You can go from what feels like real connection and sharing drinks and laughs to fucking at her place to being ghosted as soon as you leave.

>no reply on the seeing each other again
>she's logged back into OKCupid since then
>or she's changed her Tinder pic and posted a public image addressed to a different guy

You're just a piece of meat they can fuck when they're horny and a person they can talk to whenever it's convenient because they're feeling lonely and need companionship. They don't give a shit about you, only what you can do for them.

You're still not totally jaded, OP. You have some good values in you. My advice: stay away from online dating. Make friends instead, irl, not online. Find group settings where non-shitty people congregate. Use your current friends to expand your friend circles. Ask them to just introduce you to groups of people you've never met before. Establish trust first, before you ever go on a date. Find lovers that way.

On the most basic level, they didn't meet you online so you're "not a stranger they can just blow off" in their head. But also you tend to meet better people.

"Roll us a joint while I make us dinner.

Probably busy working. Bald + beard af"

just leaving his options open

That's actually some sound advice. Thank you, user. Wasn't intending to want this kind of thing out of tinder, but I guess I haven't been single in so long that I have no idea how it works anymore.

what kinks have you shared, might i ask?

Pretty weird shit tbh. He shared some interesting things too. That might be a reason why he only sees this as sex, I guess.

This is why I am asking and this is Sup Forums you have anonymity to be open here.

I met my gf on tinder and i sound a bit like the guy you're mentioning, wasn't looking for anything serious at all but it just happened. I've never been happier tbh. seriously just ask him or you'll kick yourself for never finding out.

>hanging out and possible sex


Heres the thing. Guys will fuck anything, but don't want a relationship with a girl who does the same. Going to tinder expecting a relationship is a bad move.

Petplay, daddykink, fucked up rp shit like rapeplay.
We've had some pretty awesome sex after that conversation to be honest.

does he tend to stay after sex on average?

Sad thing is that I definitely don't sleep around. Got out of 5 year relationship just before New Years, and honestly can count on one hand the people I've had sex with. Also wasn't expecting to want a relationship after this. But I'm clearly retarded.

Tinder is no worse than any other app. They're all shallow and shit. Even the people with the best intentions starting out get fucked up before the end, just by the nature of online dating. There are 10 depression-inducing failure stories for every 1 success story.

It sounds like you're saying you recently got out of a long term relationship and you're looking to date around, but you're forming attachments "too quickly." If that's true, you're probably not over the relationship you had. Not necessarily that you're still into your ex, just that you're not over the attachment. Being single is an opportunity to remember how to exist in solitude and stand on your own two feet. I suggest investing in a good sex toy and going solo for a couple more months, honestly. Not to "avoid catching feelings next time," but so you know the feelings are real when they happen and not just because there's a willing person in the vicinity for you to attach to while your body and mind crave that attachment.

I'll never judge someone for having casual encounters, so long as they're open and honest about it up front, but I hate it, personally. I don't take lovers "with no strings attached" anymore. I like the monogamous, committed relationship dynamic. I like being worthy of being someone's everything and having someone worthy of being the same for you. You drive each other to be better and can form as many attachments as you want. Sex is just better with strings, imo.

So don't deny yourself and what you want. Don't give into societal impressions on what you should be doing either way. Find your own path and what you really want out of companionship, and listen to your soul when it tells you what it wants. But give it some time so you really know what you're listening to.

I guess I can't even blame him for not wanting something serious out of this as I'm leaving in a couple of months. I'm just clearly delusional for thinking this could turn into something more and that it could be great..

Also.. What would I actually say without seeming insane?

tell him you'll roll if he cooks ya diner

I usually stay over at his and yeah, sometimes I stay over all weekend.. We usually make awesome breakfast together and hang out for most of the next day. Also hang out with him and his friends and watch movies and shit.

>inb4 daddy pls don't leave me

does he take you out anywhere? Have you met family or anything like that

I'm not OP but I thank you for these thoughts of yours. You're helping me keep positive about my future. Just got out of a relationship myself too

Honestly, you're probably 100% right, user. I just have no idea how to deal if that's the case. Like I just need the reassurance and crave so badly to know someone wants me. I get a lot of attention from people irl, and I'm so used to feeling wanted that it's like an addiction and now I don't know what to do.

Tits or gtfo .

His family lives really far away but we do go out, yeah..

Honestly OP stay with him if you believe there is a gold mine of stability, it sounds like its great sex but unstable trust. Approach and press what you believe is the problem.

Just have him fuck you and buy you stuff until Mr right comes along.

I met my girlfriend of 2 years of tinder, be upfront with him OP and ask what he wants. If hes only in it for the sex then you know you have to keep searching. Hit it and quit it OP

Honestly don't know what there is.. The sex is amazing and I feel great being around him, and I don't want to stop. That's kind of it really..

That sounds like the last thing I'd want to do ever. You're too cool for me, user.

That's probably what I'm gonna have to do at this point. But if he tells me he just sees this as a hook up, I'm kind of scared I'll freak out about being alone. I'm realizing this doesn't sound healthy.

you'll pretend you're fucking your daddy while being raped, and you won't take advantage of free shit good sex hmm

Tits or gtfo

Its the change, its because it's different. I got out of a long relationship recently by someone who sought change in who they wanted to be with and around.

I had no issues, it was all her issues. Still single to this day after awhile, and I'm mixed. Maybe that is something you should try OP and quit being a faggot or dump the possible faggot your with.

I'm totally into kinky sex, not taking advantage of people.

Just don't freak out. I tell myself that in similar situations and it works.

That was my plan at first tbh. Guess I have the willpower of a potato.

I told myself that and it ended up with the relationship dying user

There's only one solution OP... -)

It's like I need constant distraction from freaking out if these things happen tho. But, I'll try that. If it actually works you've changed my life.

Well even potato's have thick skin and I think OP needs to balls up and make a French fry out of the guy your with.

We're all gonna make it, user.

Like I said, I was blessed with good genes. But I'm male, and I'm not sure of your gender but you sound female (good job not directly mentioning it and going with the "yeah, it's pretty gay" shitposters either way, btw). I get a lot of attention too, but I couldn't compare to a hot chick. As much as I wish biology were more equal, guys are the eternal seekers.

Still, I understand where you're coming from. When I break off something serious and go to some random function to cope, and have a cute girl I just met throwing herself at me by the end of the night, it's hard to say no. It's an ego boost, and it's a reminder that I'll be fine without "her." Even just having a casual partner can feel great in the moment, because you can drain them of all they have to offer you, physically and emotionally. But I find that irresponsible and disrespectful, and I've gotten enough experience with both the casual and the serious to know what I like and what disgusts me and what only hurts me more in the long run. Casual shit isn't a "rebound" for me. It just puts off my actual coping and moving on, just making it take longer and hurt more. It takes time to heal, and anything with a partner who won't commit or who I'm not willing to commit to is like picking at the scab. So I turn down a lot of girls until I know I'm ready and I know we're both worthy of each other.

But again, that's just me. If this guy is actually seeing other people and unwilling to commit to you at all, I'd have been out long ago, in your shoes. But I don't know what you or him really want out of this, only what it sounds like through my interpretation of my own experiences in parallel. No one can decide how you should proceed for you.

Haha thanks, user. I giggled.

But, again, I suggest listening to what you need, beyond the base cravings. Take responsibility for your existence and give respect to the universe around you. Aka masturbate. Masturbate a lot. It helps clear your head and find your center. Love yourself (that means first know yourself), be completely at ease with being alone, and only then try to fall in love with another.

That's the best way I've found to go about it. Still just a suggestion.

Totally agree OP needs to balls up (I'm OP) just not sure what the French fry metaphor means here.

Yeah right, whore. That's what you get for not keeping your legs closed. If you want a guy, never fuck him before dating. I don't respect any woman who will fuck me before dating, I'll just hookup and she will be a whore in my mind forever. I figured she's fucked others the same, no way I'm settling down with a slut. My wife made me wait a month after dating because she has self respect, and after 4 years of dating, we got married.

You're most welcome OP

Approach him about these issues, and if he let's you loose then you have your answer and he lost something probably nice in his life.

Cut him up into smaller pieces and burn the remains

And I understand that my giving that advice might not be smart. That point of view of mine (to just tell yourself to get over it and move on) was what partly ruined my last relationship 'cause she hated when I would tell her she should do that

Exactly user.

>he broke my heart
>so I took him apart

Thank you, user. That's some pretty amazing advice.
I'm honestly a pretty attractive person, and I'm way too used to getting what I want, and more attention than any person really needs. And I guess I've ended up basing my self worth on it. Which I'm realizing is insane.

I didn't go into this wanting anything, and we've never really talked about it. So it's basically just us hanging out, having a good time and having amazing sex. Going on occasional dates and hanging out with friends.

Take note OP, don't wait idly by as that faggot makes you feel uneasy. Confront him.

is your name jasmine?

>is this jasmine?
>no this is OP

Guess that's pretty much what I have to do. I'm about 80% sure he'll just let me go, which honestly does scare me.

What.. I don't even eat anything?

post more pics of girls on toilets, fag

It is not.

so you were okay with being his whore. that is all you were to him because he wouldn't commit to you and you knew it.

you just don't want to be called what you are... a cumrag to him... he couldn't care less about you

It shouldn't! Its you taking your life back. Becoming independent once more to choose what you want and not to worry what one person or multiple people want. Being single once more was liberating in some aspects actually, and confronting him will not hurt you much, because I bet you have friends with you OP.

Honestly don't have a hang up about being someone's "cumrag", if I didn't get stupidly attached we'd just be helping eachother out. I like sex too, you know?
The thing I'm realizing I'm getting to attached to is the stuff we do when we're not having sex tho. The relationshippy things.

just another whore who wants to be used by a guy because they can't accept anything less than the best... so they play this game of wishywashy bullshit or does he love me or does he not love me.... when from day one you knew you were just a fucktoy he would keep around for as long as you kept your mouth shut and his dick wet

dont matter do it!
Does it not scare you more to be waisting more time of your precious life!

I do have friends, and it did feel liberating at first.. I should be way more comfortable about it tho. Maybe it's just for the best if he rejects me. Thanks, user!

you used sex as a way to work your way in and he just used you, that's all and you allowed it.

WHERE ARE THE TITS WHERE ARE THE TITS WHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITSWHERE ARE THE TITS TITS OR GTFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what the fuck happened to you faggots? Bunch of limp wristed numale white knights pandering to some bullshit tinder whore who can't deal with being an actual whore

I fucking hate everyone in this thread

I hope OP dies after her semester abroad. Abruptly and in a comical way.

yeah let post gore and porn no more serious threads

FUcking niggers the lot of them! Right

you were a whore that used unreciprocated love as currency instead of money

The way you've been speaking, that was what I assumed. There's nothing wrong with being honest, and there's nothing wrong with giving yourself an appraisal. But the danger of being attractive is that you don't work on your personality and interests enough. You threaten to not live up to your potential because you can just coast by. I can't tell you the number of hot chicks I've dumped because they were as interesting as a rock. That's an extreme; you may just have trouble balancing your studies or hobbies with it, but either way and everything in between: it can be harmful.

It really sounds like you're beholden to this addiction to attention. I'll say it one last time, the most direct solution I can think of to apply would be alone time, and months of it. Maybe after your move (you said it'd be a couple of months until you left), or before then if this guy doesn't pan out. Focus on the parts of you that you'd like to improve that have nothing to do with attractiveness (move towards doing things like the people who inspire you do), and work on them.

Practice. Practice being alone, and happy.

Yes OP, heck build a connection around yourself. Find new friends and connect with old ones, I know im having a hard time thinking of talking to my ex but I'd probably be willing to lend a hand.

All it takes is strangers to say decent things really and you can be a lot better, just don't intoxicate yourself on that feeling, because you will be in the same situation you are in now with a swinger that made you feel nicer than the rest.

wut this isnt gore or porn
that means your a faggot
i cant handle inteligent discussion
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

he got to smash your holes while you got to play girlfriend... while you were sucking the ass juice of the girl he anally fucked the night before

Wasn't my attention to "work my way in", and I'm pretty sure I'm the one losing here. But y'know, details.

Hun, no offense but you're a fucking idiot. Going on tinder for real love is like going into Sup Forums at work and hoping nothing NSFW appears. tinder is a place where people go to get laid. If you want a real date go on eharmony. He wanted sex and that's it. That's how it's always happened that's how it always will happen. Capeche?

>NO TITS IN THIS RESPONSE
REEEEEEEE

Intention*

Not to be rude. I'm willing to debate it but sheeeeit

>OP never mentioned gender
>OP admitted they were being gay
Only reason I replied.

Like, yeah, she clearly sounds female, but I was a man slut for too long, so I get where she's coming from. Even whores are people.

Just trying to help out a fellow human being, user. I have replied to way more dudes on this site, trying to help them out. It's about wayward souls who ask for help, not gender. If I'm white knighting, then I'm one Kinsey-Scale-5 father fucker.

That said, her suddenly dying at the end of her trip would automatically be comical. Ironic.

instead of going for a reasonable guy, you just were a classic side piece.

something that has been going on since the beginning of time

an faggot*

OP has thinking to do, thread is kill.

Definitely have a lot of hobbies. Most of them I haven't been able to keep up with while being away.. But you're so right. I should just have some alone time, and lots of it. I'm honestly kind of terrified about it tho.

Thanks, user. I do have some pretty solid friendships and some really fun times. It's just that bit of time when you're on your own, going to sleep or w/e that freaks me out the most because at that point you're really alone.

put on your big girl panties and find someone who appreciates you and not just your holes

but they will be less good looking than that guy. that's the catch.

otherwise you can fuck yourself right into your 40s

Thanks, user. I'm clearly illiterate and that was not a typo.