Get asked by neighbour feed their cats for a couple of days

>Get asked by neighbour feed their cats for a couple of days
>ok no problem
>in their house
>be me, huge pervert
>decide to sniff neighbour's mom's panties
>sneak into room, going through drawers
>find large dildo, jackpot
>start to lick the dildo like it was a crack lollipop
>go home and fap furiously
>MFW when I think I put the dildo in the wrong drawer
>MFW I forgot which drawer it was in
>MFW they get back in a few hours

What do I do Sup Forums?

I hope you get caught on the camera you sick fuck

They wont notice and if so they probably wont mention it because it was awkward in the first place.

nigga you're cool I doubt they'll confront you. It's too personal. What are they gonna say "hey did you go through our drawers and see my wife's dildo?"

Go and tell her how she smells.

Kill your neighbours before they get home

she's recently divorced

Do like Hillary and blame it on the Russians

Fuck yourself with said dildo when they return. Make sure they see you.

Kill cat, put dildo in it, place it in any drawer.
Claim you haven't seen the cat since yesterday.
The only way, user.

That's what you get for being a dildo.

Call her and ask her which drawer it goes back in.

HOLY FUCK. THIS

blame the cat

This

QUADS DEMAND IT

me too

Check'd

>what could go wrong

rollin

shit guess i didn't need to roll

Probably the husbands dildo

she got divorced fairly recently, her husband cheated on her

It's not a big deal when they find out. If you're lucky, it will be just her that finds out and she won't tell whoever lives with her.

However, you should apologize, just make sure to do it discreetly and directly to her.

Would be hilarious if you find out it's actually the guy living with her that owns and uses the dildo

so you gonna deliver?

how did it taste? could u tell it was in her ?

shit, quads and trips...
I can't though, she's a family friend

sort of a faint hammy flavour.

>However, you should apologize, just make sure to do it discreetly and directly to her
This some autistic sounding shit.
>I-I-I'm s-sorry b-b-b-ut I l-licked your d-d-dildo"

faggot OP is massive faggot abandon thread

>sage

>niggest puts dildo in his mouth

miss me with that gay shitt nigguh fuck out of here fuck boy

so it did kind of taste like it had been in her pussy/? was there any glaze on it? what did it look like and how big was it compared to u?

kek

dont apologize. pretend it never happened and hope for best

> personally i would have gone with the cat pussy.
just goes to show how much of a fag you are user, licking dildos like a fag and not taking some prime puss puss.

I don't really know how pussy is meant to smell.
It was much bigger than me, sort of intimitating

intimitating or intimidating you illiterate pleb?

>this tbqhfam

You read it autistically, probably because your autistic brain told you to do so.

I merely ment "I apologize for rummaging through your personal belongings". If she knows you did it, then she is due an apology. She may even be happy that you took interest in her dildo.

Here is the picture I took, for those saying it's not real

>don't mind me
>just the nsa passing by.
>I promise i wont store your dick pics on my hard drive. no homo.

We need pics of the mom.

She's home now, pray for me Sup Forums

do it faggot.

DO IT!

She might just not notice it's in the wrong drawer

they probably won't notice, and if they do, they'll just assume they did it

do it anyways fag
quads and trips demand it.

>high speed dildo moving very fast

It was fast, I rubbed it on my dick

top fucking kek!

I'll get a better picture for you next time I steal someone's mom's dildo

my sincere advice OP?

say you couldn't find the cat, panicked and started looking through all the drawers. Laugh a but to ease the tension. You then saw the dildo and was possessed by the devil. If she doesn't believe you pretend to be possessed by the devil again, aggressively gnawing on her dildo as proof of that.

This will only work if you commit 100% otherwise just kys it's not worth it

>She may even be happy that you took interest in her dildo.
What the actual fuck

that is my biggest fantasy
thankyou user for some real advice finally

kill your neighbours then kill yourself, very simple.

No sweat. She won't think anything of it except that she forgot which drawer she put it in.

AMEN Sup ForumsROTHER

Nigga you gay.

I'm not gay I just like milfs

Hopefully she'll just think: must have been tired and misplaced it.

Nigga you gay by putting that in your mouth. Also rub some spice on it.

Please god this
ongaringo

Nigga you gay by putting that in your mouth. Also rub some spice on as a suprise.

stop saying that word it's racist

This would be hilarious. If you just like rubbed pure capsaicin oil all over it and put it back exactly where it was.

Sorry

▲
▲ ▲

black people don't go on this website

ongaringo to you to.

This is gold.

You get it. Also I'm not the most disgusting person on this thread. I'm in company of a guy who put a woman's dildo in his mouth.

also op why the fuck would you put someone elses dildo in your mouth ffs at least wash it first

enjoy your infections

gay

get in there user. fill her up

what would be the point in that?

He didn't want to taste the dildo rather than the pussy juices. Why would he wash it? That's the whole fucking point of licking it. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Disgusting.

OP give us some sort of timestamp or something so we know this is real, I want to know this is real

He can't. She's already home. Although...

this guy gets it

how should I do this?

how much of a fucking virgin do you have to be to do this shit

What is the point of tasting pussy if you're not about to fuck /get some head in return?

Those are your pictures right, lets see a time stamp on your hand with phone that has pics in one large picture

welcome to Sup Forums

what do I take the photo with?

Oh god I wish
I am obsessed with this woman

a fucking camera you absolutely retarded sailor's shit

I've only got the one in the phone

Burden of proof is on you m8 not me

Take pic of the cat with you throwing gang signs.

you would come across as more intelligent if you fell on the keyboard twice and sent me whatever was typed

who the fuck would leave you in charge of a cat? I wouldn't leave you in charge of a stick of butter

fucking hell this has to be a troll

i put the picture up what more do you need?

>time stamp

>Update
THE FUCKING STAMP!

>What more do you need?
this is Sup Forums, there is always more that we need

>moar

This one

>fucking hell this has to be a troll
just one of the few on this site

>cum on the tip of the dildo
>spread cum evenly across the surface
>freeze for as long as you can
>hide it back where you found it
>when used, your neighbor's pussy will produce enough heat to melt the cum
>mfw 9 months later she'll have a kid with your face
>call it Jesus

DO IT