>2006
>I’m 19, out of school, and working at a shitty pizza/video rental place
>This is in northern Kentucky
>Very rural area, rustic or whatever
>It’s called ‘Sam’s Warm Pizza!’
>Not sure why anyone would want ‘warm’ pizza
>But the old owner of the franchise was from Turkey or some shit
>Anyways, my boss is an old black guy named Luke
>Luke is pretty cool, he’s on the city council
>He smokes weed
>Listens to jazz
>As far as I know, he bought this restaurant from the old owner a while back
>One day, I’m at work, making pizza, rearranging video tapes, etc.
>This is at like 9 PM
>Hear something outside
>Go out, check
>Nothing
>Two days later, back at work
>Having some trouble with my parents, so I ask Luke if I can sleep at the restaurant
>There’s a room in the back
>He says that’s okay, no problem, etc.
>Nice guy
>I finish my shift, go back to the room, and sleep like a baby
>2 AM I wake up
>Something smells…
>Like smoke?
>Jesus
>I run out, afraid the oven wasn’t turned off or some shit, but nope
>The smoke is coming from the back
>I run out the back door and, I shit you not
>There is a cross ablaze behind Sam’s Warm Pizza!
2006
>So, obviously, Luke is not going to be happy
>It will probably look fishy, what with me asking to spend the night there
>I freak out, but decide that calling him would be the best way to go about things
>Now, obviously, being in KY, there are a lot of racists
>And, being a local councilman, Luke could have pissed someone off without even knowing it
>I call Luke, tell him about it, he doesn’t even respond
>Just hangs up
>Someone must have seen the fire, because the fire department and police show up
>It’s a small town, we all know each other, and I explain what happens
>Then, Luke shows up
>He’s in tears
>Asks everyone what he could have done
>Everyone reassures him that it’s not his fault
>The flames are put out
>The cross is taken down
>Luke asks if I’ll stay with him tomorrow night to chop it up
>Sure, Luke
>So, that night I bring an axe to work
>We do our regular shift things
>Not many people are showing up to eat pizza and rent movies
>We still haven’t switched to DVD’s, but usually someone comes in and rents a movie
>We suspect people are uneasy about what happened
>Finally it’s the end of our shift, the last customers leave
>Now, he says, it’s time to get to work
finish the story OP
plz its interesting
>We go out, start chopping at this wooden cross
>Someone obviously took a while to make it
>Who would do this?
>Luke tells me he has a good idea
>Very ominous
>Looking back, I really never knew much about Luke
>Just that he moved here from the southwest and bought a few pizza places
>Still, a black guy moving to this part of the country was weird
>If only because there simply weren’t that many black people
>But I digress
>I ask Luke to explain, but he just tells me he hates dealing with shit like this
>I smell gasoline all over the ground, like someone was just going to set the whole damn earth ablaze
>He asks if I’d use the wood for firewood or whatever
>Nope
>I’ll take it to the landfill tomorrow, then
>Luke asks if I still need a place to stay
>Yeah, that’d be nice
>I’m prepared to just stay at the pizza place again
>Luke tells me that’s not safe
>Just stay at my place, user
>I’ve got room for one more
>Okay
You reposted retard
lurking
Go on, user.
Bump
>So, I ride with Luke to his place
>He drives a blue ford pickup
>His house is even more secluded than the town we live in
>Way, way off in the woods
>And it’s a cabin
>Ever seen The Evil Dead?
>Anyways, Luke’s place is pretty nice
>Probably too nice for someone who owns a failing pizza place in northern Kentucky
>He says he has two spare rooms - one upstairs, one downstairs
>No wife, no kids
>Just Luke
>And now, me
>I ask him if he’s worried about race relations in the town
>The town? No.
>Wonder what that even means
>But I don’t ask
>As far as I can tell, Luke has no computers
>I’ve never seen him use a cell phone
>And this guy apparently hasn’t figured out DVD’s
>So, I decide to just chill in the upstairs room for the night
>Then, I realize I have to take a leak
>Check the room next to me
>It’s a closet
>So I check the next room
>It’s a weird lounge
>This is a really big cabin
>I go to a smaller looking room - it has to be the bathroom
>Right?
>I open it, it nudges a little
>Door must be stuck, so I push it
>It falls open - falls, not swings
>And inside, I swear to god, is a small armory of high power firearms
>working at a shitty pizza/video rental place
bruh how can you even rent pizza
Sounds interresting
>So, I ride with Luke to his place
>He drives a blue ford pickup
>His house is even more secluded than the town we live in
>Way, way off in the woods
>And it’s a cabin
>Ever seen The Evil Dead?
>Anyways, Luke’s place is pretty nice
>Probably too nice for someone who owns a failing pizza place in northern Kentucky
>He says he has two spare rooms - one upstairs, one downstairs
>No wife, no kids
>Just Luke
>And now, me
>I ask him if he’s worried about race relations in the town
>The town? No.
>Wonder what that even means
>But I don’t ask
>As far as I can tell, Luke has no computers
>I’ve never seen him use a cell phone
>And this guy apparently hasn’t figured out DVD’s
>So, I decide to just chill in the upstairs room for the night
>Then, I realize I have to take a leak
>Check the room next to me
>It’s a closet
>So I check the next room
>It’s a weird lounge
>This is a really big cabin
>I go to a smaller looking room - it has to be the bathroom
>Right?
>I open it, it nudges a little
>Door must be stuck, so I push it
>It falls open - falls, not swings
>And inside, I swear to god, is a small armory of high power firearms
Fail lmao
>I let out a yell
>Shit
>I put the door up as best as I can and run back to the bedroom
>I had never seen so many guns
>I decide to chill in the room, not make a sound
>Then, I hear a knock
>Oh god
>It’s Luke
>He says he heard me yell, wanted to check on me
>Oh, okay
>I decide not to tell him what I saw
>He tells me he used to live in Arizona
>He moved so that he could forget about some shit that went down in his past
>Why is he telling me this now?
>I’ve worked for this man for three years
>I tell him it’s cool that he’s letting me stay
>No problem, user
>A few hours later, I hear a thump
>Almost like the door from earlier
>I poke my head out
>Just enough that maybe I wouldn’t be seen
>Out in the hall is Luke
>He’s staring right into the closet full of guns
Damn, that pizza looks AWESOME.
We should order pizza.
mY FJUCKING SIDES
>Luke sees me
>Shit shit shit
>He runs - and this dude is like 75 - to my room
>I am scared
>He starts screaming
>You think you can just make yourself a guest and start snooping around my property?
>You think I couldn’t kick you to the curb and let whatever’s out there take you right here and now?
>I tell him I was just looking for the bathroom
>Luke calms down
>Sits on the bed
>I’m still pretty scared
>Notice he’s got a gun now, in a holster
>Oh, sweet Jesus
>Luke chuckles, asks me if I had ever heard about how he was in jail
>What? No.
>Says he got drunk and mentioned it to some guy once, but wasn’t sure if it had spread
>See, user, I had to change my name
>Has he been drinking?
>I ask why he changed his name
>’So I could run away’
>At this point, it’s pretty obvious Luke is on something
>He gets up, stumbles, then falls down
>I ask him what he was in jail for
>He mumbles some shit
>Reaches for his gun
>And then, he just leans up against the wall and slides down
Go on
>I remembered where the kitchen was, so I ran down and got the old man some water
>He gets better after a few sips
>Tells me he’ll probably die tonight
>What, why?
>Tell him he can’t just get his hopes down because one dumb redneck burned a cross at his business
>The whole town will support you
>Then, he gives me the backstory:
>Apparently, Luke used to deal cocaine
>Like, a lot of cocaine
>He got into some trouble, and got sent to jail
>It sounds like he was in for a while, and met some guys and got an operation going
>He made an okay living (if you could call it that) but shit went south and one of his partners went psycho
>Well shit
>So, fearing for his life, Luke ran away to Kentucky, changed his name, and bought a few pizza places from an old acquaintance of his
>A nice story, I guess, if not a little odd, but what the fuck does this have to do with what happened a couple nights ago?
>He tells me the man who burned that cross in the back of Sam’s Warm
>That’s his old business partner
Is this dinosaur
keep going
>Apparently this dude is named Cyprus, but he goes by Sai
>He’s Greek or some shit, works as a musician and also a drug dealer from wherever the fuck Luke comes from
>Luke tells me this guy is a pyromaniac, and that, for the past few days he’s been getting weird phone calls
>He’s been in jail for manslaughter
>Sai, that is, not Luke
>Jesus
>So, Luke is now afraid that is old partner is going to come to get him
>So why bring me into the picture?
>Luke says I’m a good kid, figured I could help him
>Yeah, okay
>Luke is clearly a drug-addled mess
>I never picked up on this at work though
>Luke starts crying, all kinds of shit
>I tell him to lock the doors, close the blinds, and just chill out
>He gives me a gun
>Okay
>I wonder if I should call my parents or the cops
>But then Luke would be found to be living under a false name
>That would just put the spotlight on him and, since he’s on the town council, the entire town
>So I stay put
>I just lay in bed, the lights turned off
>Then, I head a noise
>What?
>Luke must be up
>I keep laying there
>Then, I see something out of the corner of my eye
>A hand covers my mouth
>Oh god
>In front of me is a blob in the shape of a giant blob or something
>I did not know it at the time, but this was Sai
Come on i passed my J to read this
Bump
keep going damn it
Stay tuned for more TALES OF INTEREST
>So, I don’t know if you’ve ever been kidnapped
>But it is scary as fuck
>This dude, Sai, is huge
>Like, part UFC fighter, part Jabba the Hutt
>I am scared shitless
>This dude starts whispering in my ear:
>You look like you need to sleep
>Can you sleep?
>Sleep for me
>Creepy shit like that
>I gather that, at some point, Sai broke into the house and, assuming that Luke slept upstairs, hid in the closet
>So he was here this whole time?
>What the fuck?
>Sai starts mumbling about ‘owning the flame’ or some shit
>He doesn’t seem high…just really fucking crazy
>I struggle, but he presses down harder
>He asks me to lick his hand
>I shake my head
>Lick it, or I’ll kill you
>I lick the damn hand
>Oh god
>He tells me he has three knives and a gun
>That’s very specific
>He tells me to sit up while he turns on the light
>If I move, he will kill me
>If I don’t move, he’ll tell me a story
>Do I even have a choice at this point?
...
Pls I wanna sleep
>I sit up, Sai turns on the lights
>Asks me if I like trance music
>Nope
>Do I like dream pop?
>What is that?
>He laughs, calls me an amateur
>Tells me Sai is a…
>Well, he uses some not so nice words
>So, I gather that at some point Luke screwed over Sai
>Now, he wants revenge
>But nope
>That’s not what Sai tells me what happens
>He goes on some rant about how his ‘career’ was over because of a bad business deal by another man in their operation
>Says that Luke owes him a ’flame for the ages’
>What does that even mean?
>I tell him I just work for Luke, want to go home, etc.
>Sai asks if I’ve ever had my mind raped
>Uh…what?
>That’s the last thing I remember before I wake up in what I imagine is Luke’s basement, wrapped around a pole with a belt
Bepis
This story is taking too damn long
Monitoring thread
Lol chech em while waitin 4 da story
>So, I’m in the basement, wrapped around the pole, and Sai now has Luke down there with us
>I don’t feel any pain, so how did I get here?
>He had to have knocked me out some how
>Anyways, Sai and Luke are just..talking casually
>I am in fear for my life
>Luke, it sounds like, is bargaining for my release
>But I’m not sure how likely that is
>Sai, on the other hand, is ranting and raving about ‘spic product’
>So drugs, probably
>Sai, I learn, is looking for two people
>One is some guy who he claims ‘ruined his life’
>This guy Luke obviously knows
>The other guy, who Luke doesn’t appear to know, is connected to ‘the spics’
>Sai, I reason, has had his drug operation dismantled and, like I said earlier, wants revenge
>They argue
>They argue some more
>Fine, Luke says
>I’ll strike you a deal
>I start squirming hard around this point
>Luke will tell Sai the name and address of this guy he’s looking for if he lets me go
>Oh thank god
>Sai shakes his head
>No, not good enough
>He wants to make sure my ‘brain has been cleared’
>Oh god
>What is this guy?
>Luke is obviously frustrated at Sai’s craziness
>They argue some more
>Finally, they strike another deal
>He’ll give Sai the guy’s information AND he’ll let him drive me home
>Uh, no
>But I’m not in much of a position to argue
>Luke walks up to me, whispers in my ear that I’ll be safe
>It doesn’t sound very safe to me!
>I ask Sai to just kill me here, so that I won’t have to wait for it
>He walks up to me
>Bends over
>Puts his hand to my ear
>And I wake up in his van
im getting bored when does he fuck you up the ass
bump
post faster
>I wake up with a splitting headache
>It’s like 4 AM
>I’m probably being mind raped by some drug dealer
>Whatever the fuck that means
>And, on top of that, my old boss just sold me out to probably be murdered or worse
>And some poor guy they were involved with years ago is probably going to get it too
>This sucks ass
>Anyways, I’m in the back of this van
>I smell gasoline
>I try the door, but it’s locked
>No one else is in here
>Were are Sai and Luke?
>My eyes start to adjust to the darkness, and I realize I’m surrounded by these red, five gallon containers of gasoline
>Oh shit
>I try banging up against the door
>I think maybe I can get it open
>But I may also be delusional at this point
>Then - they open!
>Success!
>And the first thing I see..
>Is Sai
>Well, shit
>I beg for my life
>He listens
>He smiles
>I am so fucked
>I back up against the wall
>He starts taking off his belt
>He climbs in
>And sits right next to me
The essence of Sup Forums, distilled into one post.
WOOOOOW
its time fooor SEKSI TIIIME
Wtf monitoring
OH YEAH
>So what happens next is probably the strangest thing that has ever happened to me
>Immediately, I run for the door of the van
>It’s a big van and I can stand up in it
>Yeah, yeah I’m a manlet, whatever
>He grabs me before I can, though, and holds me close to him
>Oh shit
>Oh shit please no
>He starts rubbing my scalp, playing with my ear
>I try squirming, but he just squeezes harder
>Oh please, no, please oh god
>He starts whispering things into my ear
>Tells me to relax
>It’ll be okay
>I’m like an open flame
>He asks me to stop struggling
>I don’t know why, but I do
>Sai tells me that he’s connected to all living things
>I have no clue what he means
>He tells me that he’s ‘only grown stronger’ since he had to leave behind ‘his future’
>What the fuck?
>I completely relax, for no real reason
>Sai shows me the back of his hand
>Asks me what I see
>I tell him I don’t know
>He asks if I’ve ever ‘taken it’ before
>Or ‘been connected’ before
>I tell him I don’t know
>Then, just like that, I pass out
>I wake up in the same position, still in the van, still in Luke’s driveway
>This time, it’s not my head that’s sore
P p p penis pennis ppenis peniss ppppenis penis pennis penis
user got raped
Penetration?
Roll for anal circumference!
>So, to recap:
>I have no clue what or who Sai is or what he’s capable of
>Apparently he fucked me up the rear
>Apparently he can be very persuasive
>My old boss has done nothing to help me
>If he’s even still alive
>And I’m stuck in the back of a van
>At this point, it seems obvious that I’m going to die back here
>Maybe he’ll knock me out or whatever the fuck he does before he kills me
>That’d be nice, I guess
>I hear him talking to me again
>Asking me to relax
>Says he ‘learned some technique’ when he was in prison
>Uh..what?
>I figure this is it
>I am going to die having been ass-raped after being kidnapped at my boss’s house
>All because this same psycho lit a cross on fire outside of the pizza place where I worked
>I brace for impact
>Then, I get an idea
>I lean into Sai, which is creepy as fuck, but I think he likes it?
>This puts a can of gas within reaching distance of my leg
>Carefully, I move it over closer to me
>He starts talking about the ‘connection technique’ again
>This dude has issues
>Finally, when I can reach the canister, I grab it
>He sees whats happening
>Squeezes me
>It’s extremely painful
>For you
>Just kidding
>Anyways, I spray that shit
>The gas, that is
>All over this motherfucker, and he lets go for a split second
>I run like a bat out of hell out that van, and back into the house
>And I ask myself
>Where did I put that gun?
SHITS GETTING REAL BOYS
>things that never happened: the story
Let's go OP.
I'll ass rape you too if you don't finish this.
Maybe it's cheese pizza
This is Sup Forums. Everything posted here is fictional. Now, stop being such an asswipe and enjoy storytime.
>Actually, fuck the gun
>I just doused that dude in gasoline
>I should set him ablaze
>But first, I need to find Luke
>He’s not in the basement
>He’s not in the kitchen
>I hear someone in the back
>Sai has come inside
>I run upstairs, into the room I was in
>Luke is there
>And he’s dead
>I’ve never seen a dead body before, so I throw up
>He’s holding a gun, so I assume he took his own life
>Dude had a fucked up life
>I think about prying the gun from his hand and blowing Sai to smithereens, but I decide not to
>I hear him coming up the stairs
>Decide to just go down swinging when suddenly
>I smell something that isn’t my own vomit, Luke’s blood, or gasoline
>It’s a candle!
>There’s a candle and a lighter
>I light the candle
>Sai comes in the doorway
>He is fucking massive
>He is shouting at me, calling me a ‘cheater’
>Yeah, okay
>I toss that shit at him
>It’s a big candle
>He erupts!
>Well, really his clothes just catch on fire, but I don’t imagine that or hot wax melting on your skin feels very good
>He goes to his knees, screaming, oh god
>I jump out the window
>I feel like Bruce Willis
>Oh god, oh god
>I land on the van
>My shoulder is fucked up
>But, I’m in luck
>The keys in Luke’s truck are still in there
>I hop in, look at the smoke coming out the window, and drive off
>And I don’t look back
This better not be the end you massive faggot.
I hope it isn't
>Called my parents the next day from a hotel and told them I was leaving, mailed them some money to get a moving van
>I heard on the news about Luke and his house burning but nothing about another body
>Five years later
>I work at Red Lobster
>Have a nice apartment, a few roommates, a cool girlfriend
>Life is good
>To this day, I still wonder what happened to Sai
>And how the fuck did he do the things he did?
>Maybe he just put me into a sleeper hold
>And these two guys he was after?
>Who fucking knows
>Get home from work one afternoon
>Check the mailbox
>I’ve got a letter from mom
>Says she misses me, understands why I don’t want to come back
>Inside her note is a clip from the town newspaper
>Sam’s Warm Pizza! - Under New Management
>They have DVD’s now
>I walk over to a candle my roommate has lit in the kitchen
>I set the paper ablaze
>Own the flame
THE END
ahaha holy shit
*stands up and claps*"
gg no re
thx op
Someone screencap this greentext like the rest of them, please.
Not gonna lie, good story but gay ending
Can someone "dumb" the ending down for a stupid fag like me?
>about 4th grade level, pls
i dunno I thought the ending was pretty well-done lol
Murica
no
Jesus christ, how long is OP going to be at this game?
...
...
kek
I deserve that.
Nice
Jesus Christ...
Can i suck your dick or something?
You deserve worse faggot, you deserve a cock[british pronunciation] up your arse
>October 2016
OP is building a greentext cinematic universe.
[spoiler]And I kind of like it. [/spoiler]
What the fuck
real or fake, not a bad story user. not a bad story at all
Nigger your shut your whorebag ass up
yea shut up you nigger ass whorebag if you ask me
Include me in the screencap and i dont evwn understand the ending
What is his endgame?
Someone screen cap this shit.
To the user that posts this shit, I'd really love to get in contact with you, you could be great at writing. These all actually have great atmospheres even though they're fucking greentexts.
done
Shut up Sai.
We know what you're up to.
>i dont evwn understand the ending
Something about Burger King.
>..mmm...
>flame broiled whoppers
Fuck you Sai
>Sam’s Warm Pizza
Who the fuck wants merely "warm pizza?" If I'm paying $10, $15, $20 bucks plus tip for a goddamn pizza it had fucking better be hot. Warm is only acceptable after it's sat on your stove or table or whatever for a while and cooled off, or been in the 'fridge all night and needed microwaving...actually cold pizza never needs microwaving because cold pizza for breakfast is as good as hot pizza for supper, but that's neither here nor there, and an entirely different subject altogether.
The point is that this Sam is clearly a failure when it comes to marketing his specialty product. If it were called Sam's Burn-the-Motherfucking-Roof-of-Your-Mouth Hot Pizza and other shit like subs and/or shitty Italian-like pasta dishes, then it would be forgivable if the sub or pasta were subpar, because if you wanted those you should have gone to a place that specialized them, instead of pizza. Who the fuck drives all the way to a fucking pizza parlor and goes, "you know what, I thing I want a tuna sub on wheat instead?" Those fucks deserve subpar food, but that stupid bitch Sam owed it to his fucking customers to make sure his pizza, above all else was worth their time and money, but all he could promise with certainty apparently was just fucking warm pizza, cuz we took our fucking sweet ass time getting it to you after it came out of the oven. Fuck Sam. I hope you stole from the goddam register every day.
I-.. i dont even know anymore
You sound fat.
What a delicious pizzaghetti that post was user
11/10 would read again
Post it, bro. I save all of these.
They say in the story that Sam (who's story is covered here: ) wasn't American. He was clearly awkward with his English.
Frig off sai
Bro let it slide, the owner of the franchise was from Turkey or some shit
In befroe the dinosaur