Can we get a good old fashioned feels thread. Come on in anons, and tell why you are depressed

Can we get a good old fashioned feels thread. Come on in anons, and tell why you are depressed.

I push people away out of fear of them thinking I'm weak even though part of me knows if they truly like me they won't care. Got drunk and a friend walked me home and have been contemplating not talking to him just out of the fact that I was weak enough to let that happen.

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Bump feelin low

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I met a nice girl in my early years of school, 4/10 but I wasn't getting any better at that point. Things started out nice and innocent, awkwardly holding hands and going to the movies. I get more confident and some more girls start to like me. One girl really stood out to me. She looked like a loli Mia kalifa (Legal I'm not trying to get arrested) and was very clear about what she wanted. I was still was first gf at the time but that didn't stop lmk, She wouldn't take no for an answer. It started simple just a few kisses here and there. I was held down at first but I was to intimidated to stop her anyway so she would just go for it. So my first kiss was forced on me but it makes a funny story when people ask. She started getting bolder over time and would cry whenever I hesitated. I eventually drew the line when she tried to get me to put a shampoo bottle in my ass. Gf found out but was understanding and blamed lmk. I haven't heard from her much. People tell me she transferred schools to be in a "special" program because of her treatment of the younger male students. Gf was more than a little jealous after. She started to push for more and more and I was fine with it, it was nice for a while. One day I was hanging with my buddies and she showed up, no big deal she would drop in like this all the time. She was acting a bit weird, trying to pull me aside and wouldn't leave me alone. Everyone starts to head out to get lunch but gf insists that I stay back with her but I was hungry so I tried to leave anyway. She ran off crying and her parents made me go looking for her. Along the way my phone dies and I miss some calls from her. When I get home I learn she called the police because I wouldn't answer her. After this little mess I lost interest in the relationship but she only got more obsessive. It wasn't the last time she called the cops after a few missed calls. I decided things weren't working out and I was going to try to leave

too relatable

Cont:
When I bring it up she doesn't take it well at all. She winds up in the hospital because of a suicide attempt. She survived and when she came back to school she quickly tried to get back together with me and because I was afraid saying no would kill her I went with it. She wasn't exactly a model example of mental health before but now she was more unstable than ever. Most of our conversations were me talking her out of cutting starving herself and killing herself. It was a constant fight with her and I worried that one day I wouldn't see the phone and she would take the chance to die. I would wake up early and go to bed around 3 am when I knew she would be asleep. The stress and lack of sleep started to make me sick. I wouldn't leave my room if I wasn't going to school or work. I couldn't keep living like this. I grew to hate my old gf for how much she would make me work for her. I thought she would be better off dead and in a way I still do. I break up with her for the last time and don't look back. Sure enough she tried committing suicide once again but she keeps on surviving. At least she's not my problem anymore. Because of my only experiences with girl being as they were I developed a full fear of girls. I couldn't bring myself to even talk to a girl without running away.

Cont:
While this was all happening I had been taking language classes at the local county college and I got a scholarship to study abroad. I was just looking for something to put on a college application so I boarded the plane without a second thought. I spent those months seven thousand miles from home in a dorm where girls outnumbered guys seven to one. The time away and the exposure did me good and I got over my fear of girls, at least a little bit. Shortly after I came back to my home country my friends set me up with a girl. Things were going pretty good, things were always a bit awkward because my skills with girls were far under developed and I was still a bit nervous but I was just happy to have her. I would try to take her out to dinner or movies so I could show off with what money I had but she would suggest we go on hikes or to the park and just enjoy each other's company. We didn't live pretty far apart so we wouldn't see each other much but when we did I would do my best to make the most of it. I would spend weeks coming up with things to say and then forget it all last minute and awkwardly stutter my way through our conversations but I always found my way through. One summer we decide to go to a fair that I would go to every summer since I was a kid. I tried all the clichés like winning her a stuffed animal and sharing a milkshake all building up to the end of the night where I planned to kiss her at the top of the Ferris wheel. The moment finally came and when I turned to her to make my move I realized just how afraid I was. I wasn't sure what to do so I just started laughing at my own embarrassment, which I'm sure came across as at least a little creepy.

Even though I made an absolute fool of myself things stated the same. I was starting to work up my confidence to try again when the old gf came back with the same hatred I left her with. There's no good way to explain what happened that night so I'll just tell it plain and simple, she had a knife a wanted me dead. I got out alive as you might have guessed but it shook me up inside, a lot of old feelings came up and any confidence I had before was shattered. She started telling people I was the one who started the fight and she was only acting on self defense to both save face and tarnish my reputation at the same time. I've had family members tell me to never be around her without a camera and witness so she doesn't make up anything about me groping her when we're alone. Some people even suggested a restraining order but she hasn't bothered me since and I would rather avoid the legal drama. Despite all this I still keep trying with my current gf. She started to grow more distant because we've been together for more than a year and I've been too afraid to even hold her hand. I came to Sup Forums a few weeks ago and posted this story in the hopes that someone would have some advice. The one response was something along the lines of "just go for it user, it's only scary the first time" hearing this from someone else gave me a reason to try again. I had been drinking that night and it was late. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to send her snapchat rambling about how great she is and how much I love her. She took a screenshot of it and no she won't respond to my texts. We haven't spoken in a couple of weeks despite my efforts. So here I am asking what advice do you have for a fag like me.

I've posted this a couple times lately but I still haven't worked things out

tl;dr

I expected friends, ever one flaked in me. I slept for the past 3 days and no on talks to me now. I don't know what I dud

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Eh, I guess it's because I spend so much time on the computer...I smoke more than pack a day. I'm 21 years old. I've never had a real relationship irl, only internet relationships. I don't even know how to start one irl. Yet when I get drunk, I'm always successful with girls if I TRY to. Only tried few times but all of them succeeded. Success being sex or making out. The problem is that nothing interests me, I wish I'd care about people and did stuff.

I've got quite the story of betrayal if anyone is interested. I've posted it before years ago but its something that has stuck with me for a while. Not sure how long it'll take to greentext but if anyone is here to keep the thread alive I'll post it.

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just for this

I'm all ears

Feeling confused about my relationship with a girl I am seeing. Long time fwb turned dating, then I got accepted to school in a city far away and I leave next fall. I started distancing myself from her and was kind of abrasive so she said she didn't want to be friends anymore. We didn't talk for 2 weeks, i called her and we talked it out. Went to her place today to figure things out, we still aren't sure and she wouldn't have sex with me but she sucked my dick.
I mean if i keep this up until I go back to school I'll be satisfied but still sad

post fag, post for our entertainment

I want a gf but I'm a pussy and socially awkward

lift.

My overly self-deprecating sarcastic personality is both a gift and a curse. I have no problems making people laugh and some girls even show some interest in me but I am coward and always play it off as a joke. Have been friend zoned about 5 times by 6/10's and above.

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My country is engulfed in a huge economic crisis.
I'm finishing college and dont have any prospects for a job.
Kissless virgin at 21.
Need 8/10 in an exam in order to get approved in this semester.

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Good luck user hope things improve :)

What country would that be?

Responded to the wrong post like a retard.

Thx.
Luck will cross our paths eventually...

Bless your hearts

>be with ex gf for 2 years
>she lives with me
>absolutely in love with her
>never felt this way about anyone
>she had a child that was a year old when we met
>I raised that kid for those 2 years. Loved it like my own
>she constantly talks about how we're gonna get married someday and have a son
>she's always talking about our future home and all the things we're going to do in the future
>one day she goes to stay with her female friend who lives a few cities away
>one day turns into a week
>not answering my calls
>texts are getting shorter and less frequent
>one day wake up to a text that says, "I can't do this"
>flip the fuck out and start blowing up her phone
>crying and begging her not to leave me (like a little bitch)
>she tells me to fuck off
>few days pass and I call her again
>she's home again
>she clearly doesn't want to talk to me and tells me "A" is coming to pick her up
>"A" is a male friend she had apparently been hanging with when she was supposedly staying with her other friend
>she then tells me that she's moving in with "A" and she's home getting her things then heading to his house to get things ready
>I lose my shit
>hop in my car and drive to her house as fast as I can
>get to the door and her mom answers
>tells me she just left
>3 year old I raised peers out from behind ex's moms leg
>"is that user? I love user"
>bawl my eyes out right there and leave
>few days pass and I see she changed her profile pic on fb of her and A in bed together
>she's wearing one of my shirts
>lose my shit
>get blackout drunk and break everything in my apartment

This was 3 years ago. It doesn't really bother me much anymore but it's definitely had a lasting effect. I've fucked 10 chicks in those three years but have had no desire to date any of them. Trust issues/self esteem has kinda plummeted. Still miss her occasionally too for some fucked up reason. Prob just the feeling of actually loving someone

Brazil

Yes, I managed to be a kissless virgin in Brazil. There is no hope.

Wow, that's pretty much the story of my uncle James

Are you my uncle James?

Been with the same girl for five years, slept next to her every night for the past 5 years. I'd had sex with 5-8/10s, but never had a relationship besides her. A week ago we break up. Semi-mutual, but still blows. I just kind of sit in bed getting stoned or drunk and playing guitar whenever I'm not working. Working 60 hrs a week gets my mind off it, but whenever I'm not busy it all floods back. I have good looking girls who are dtf, but I'm not ready even for casual sex rn. She, on the other hand had amother guy in our bed 2 days later. Also, my house burned down in November.

that sucks user, stay in touch with the kid.

Lmao raising some one else's kid

I sympathize m8. Casual sex will not help, I promise. Might even make you miss her more.

I was really young and really stupid...but bad move, I know. Learned my lesson though.

Recently hit a low point. After leaving a relationship with a heavily committed 4/10. Moved on since to two separate girls one of whom lied to me throughout the entire relationship, but manipulated me into telling her everything. Even when she blurted out something extremely personal about me at a party infront of a large majority of my mates, I still, for some stupid reason decided to stay with her. She lied about so much and made me feel worthless. It's been about 5 months since that relationship ended and just thinking about all the shit she did and lied about. My closest friends lied to me about the fact she had been fucking a close friend of mine ( whom I had known for about 15 year) the day after we broke up (in a graveyard no less) . The fact this was hidden from me for the majority of the time since we broke up was veiled as "We knew the truth would hurt you too much" which I find to be even more insulting. Now I'm left feeling as if I can't even trust anyone and wanting the 4/10 back because she would never have done anything even a tenth as bad as the lying bitch who has brought me so many sleepless nights.

Late my freshman year I started talking to this girl who had been my friends with since kindergarten. By talking I mean talking talking. We weren't best friends or anything like that. I didn't know every single thing about her. But I got to know her more and more and by the end of freshman year we started dating. Leading up to this point my last relationships all ended with me getting cheated on, but since I had known this girl for so long I knew she wasn't like that. But I was wrong. I went away that summer for about 2 weeks to a friend's house (he's an aspiring DJ so we went partying and all that shit). She had a church camp thing for the first week I was gone. When she texts me when she gets back home she tells me that she kissed her ex because she felt lonely. I was beyond devasted but I loved her very much..So after some serious talking and negotiation we worked things out. Things were smooth until November when she did it again, but this time she broke up with me to go out with her ex. She blamed me for her cheating when I had done nothing wrong. I was basically a slave. I still loved her a lot tho. 7 months past and she hit me up again and I fell back into her trap (I couldn't even think about any other girls during the time). From that point on we were on and off till mid junior year when i had had enough of her shit lies. I was so devasted about all the lies that came up around this time. I had been planning a future out with this girl. Nothing to big. Just talked a bit to her about getting an apartment. Where we would go to college. Stuff like that. We often talked about having kids and whatnot later in life. I tried to kill myself because of her but it didn't work obviously. She ended up getting back with the same ex again and I was just done. I was very well aquatinted with her family as well as her 2 year old nephew that she had to raise. I was at her house so often sometimes he called me daddy and was always excited to see me. Now all of that is gone.