TIMES YOU ACTED LIKE THE JOKER

>take a piss
>dont wipe my willy afterwards

SOMEBODY STOP ME

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>take a piss
>only land on the seat
>don't clean it up

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>cashier says have a nice day
>dont
MOMS

7 foockin' minutes

>starring in a movie
>hype myself up as if the role had given me psychosis
>be fucking bland and barely in it
D A M A G E D
A
M
A
G
E
D

>take a shit
>it smells more than usual
>don't use air freshener
I can be ur angle or r devli

Unite The Seven!
Fuck Marvel!
Oppa Kino Style!
Op
Op
Op
Oppa Kino Style!
Kino God!

Watched BvS in theaters twice.

Bought the Criterion bluray.

>don't step in the grass sign
>FUCKING STAND ON IT WITH BOTH LEGS FOR 10 SECONDS

how did I got away with this even I don't know

killed myself with pills because I was depressed

>be a big audience draw
>appear in the movie for 1:34 minutes
>leave
HEEHEEHEE HOOHOOHOO

>Carving a roast chicken in front of entire family including grandparents.
>Delicately carve a nice slice from the succulent bird.
>Raise the knife in the air and make two swooping gestures, not making eye contact with any of them.
>Sound effects PHSWOOSH PHSHWAW.
>Nobody smiles.
>I carve everybody a nice slice of chicken and sit down.

ABSOLUTE MADMAN

>cut off moms arm
>masturbate with it while she watches

CANT STOPER THE JOKER

>Final dinner for the school year
>Announce that house that has been consistent throughout the year wins
>Change my mind and announce HOWEVER and rig the cup so Gryffindor wins
UNSTOPPABLE

...

>milk three days past its expiration date
>drink it anyway

Sup Forums pls go

Don't wash hands after handling raw chicken.
Give myself eye infection.
Now my eyes are swollen shut.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I didn't turn my PC off at the wall last night.

>suck off black guy at truck stop
>surprise youre gay now!

HEHE Didnt even see it coming!

>Reverse image search
>All results 'nwa fuck the police'
Huh.

>instructions say to heat burrito for a minute, flip it, then do another minute and let it sit for a minute once it's done
>just put it in for three minutes and start eating immediately

I was obsessed with my mom's giant titties. Would always find a reason to barge in on her naked infront of whatever those make up mirror stations are called. I would play with them when she was passed out drunk.
>ywn be a little kid again but with the intellect you have now
I think she's why I get real hard for big knockers and curly red hair. Too bad mommy didn't care about her feet at all. I got that fetish from LITTLE Mermaid


I think that makes me Nolan's Joker if any

>Tell my mom I'm the lead in the school play
>I'm not
SOMEONE STOP MEEEEE

>Nice to meet you.
>Nice to EAT you.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

>train station instructs to stand behind the yellow line
>stand in front of it when the conductor isnt looking

>Be a nurse
>Don't wash my hands after meeting someone isolated for gastroenteritis

HAHAHAHAHAHA

WARD'S GONNA FREAK

>nephew wants hot wheels for christmas
>buy him micro machines instead

>Take steroids
>Tell gym noobs I'm natty


OH BOY

>Driving instructions say to keep hands on ten and two
>Put em on 10:30 and 3

D E V I L I S H

DEVILISH

>tell everyone I'm coming to the big party for months
>finally the date of the party arrived
>show up, barely do anything and leave after 7 minutes

DAMAGED!

>roommate asks me to clean my dishes
>don't

HA HA HA HA HA

>Working part time at the local morgue.
>Attractive young blonde is wheeled in for cleaning and prep.
>Wait until I'm alone with the body.
>Whisper that I love her.
>Remove all of her organs and wear her skin.
>Go for a swim wearing her.
>I'd eaten within the last hour!

>"pierce the film before putting in the microwave"
>don't pierce the film
>microwave anyway
>take it out ten seconds before its done

NO BRAKES ON THIS CRAZY TRAIN

>pissed on the toilet seat

sometimes I eat my dessert BEFORE MY VEGETABLES

THE WEAK SHOULD FEAR THE STRONG
F
E
A
R

>keep telling my friend how excited i am to go to his sleepover party
>show up for 5 minutes before calling mommy to pick me up

>Torrent video game (T for Teen)
>Don't seed afterwards

JUST LOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEYS

>go to the movies
>empty seat near me
>put my jacket on the seat

>tell myself im gonna go to bed early tonight
>stay up till 9am instead

rofl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>T for Teen
fucking too edgy for me. kill yourself, edgelord

>Friend asks me if i can download a FULL HD Version of Pacific Rim
>Download the 720p YIFI VERSION

MOM'S GONNA FREAK

>scratch sweaty asshole
>sniff finger

I LITERALLY CANNOT BE STOPPED

actually kekd

> IRON CLOTHES

> TURN STEAM ON

>USE UNFILTERED TAP WATER

> CALCIFICATION INTENSIFIES

>MOMS DEFINITELY GOING TO FREAK

>take a shit
>use more than 3 squares of toilet paper at a time
>don't use the reverse side of the tp after a first wipe
>just throw it in the bowl

PENNY-PINCHING DAD IS GONNA FREAK!

SOMEBODY STOP ME I'M OUT OF CONTROL!!!

youtu.be/Hw9CcbEvAqE

>scratch ass crack and get a nice flaky white film of dead skin
>take a deep whiff and flick it on the wall

dad is mad

>crash a plane
>with survivors

>masturbate
>don't shower or change underwear or even wash my hands

Yeah I guess I'm pretty crazy

CIA'S GONNA FREAK

>at McDonalds with mom
>dip nuggies in my thickshake

D A M A G E D

...

>meet CIA
>bring friends

>return my dvd rental
>dont rewind

how much time am i lookin at here?

>watch The Dark Knight Rises
>skip CIA's scene.

SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!!

>people cared who I was before I put the mask on

>boyfriend wants passionate sex
>came after 7 minutes
>also gave him AIDS

please don't tell harley....

YOU HOTHEAD!

somebody get this hothead OUTTA HERE!

>be a student at a school with uniforms
>wear my purple joker coat anyway

LOCK ME UP ALREADY

hahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahhahaahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahahahaahhahaha

>play D&D
>DM asks me to roll a d20
>I roll 5d4

I'M FAILLING MY SANITY CHECK, GOD IS ROLLING FOR ME ON THE RANDOM INDEFINITE INSANITY TABLE!!!!!

I do that too except I just jizz directly in my underwear and leave it there for a few days

>boss says I have to take a 30 minute break
>take a break for 29 minutes
HE DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE

>"Could you please turn the music down"
>turn it up

I STARTED A JOKE

>go to dojo for my karate lesson
>don't wash my feet the day before

Non. Compos. Mentis.

>watch sesame street
>elmo says to drink 8 glasses of water a day
>i do drink that much but at least half of it is diet soda, not water

hA hEe Ha HeE hOo Ha hA hEe HA!

In your imagination maybe, you were there, I remember it.

>mom asks me if I liked the new Sicide Squad movie
>I give her a non-committal answer

I guess you could say that I'M OF UNSOUND MIND!!!!

>mom calls me at my appartment
>she asks if I have some laundry for her to do
>I say no and hang up real quick
>there's dirty clothes all over the place around me

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Mom has no idea. I'm trully El Loco in La Cabeza!

I never liked that real life meme that you have to drink 8 glasses of water a day.
I'm a student and spend a lot of time sitting down, and I'm fine with maybe 5-6 glasses a day. But when I work a manual labor job during the summer break, I drink water like crazy, easily 14-16 glasses.

>lie about imitating the jokester in my weekly traditional argentinian folklore enthusiast gatherings
SOMEBODY STOP ME

>I drink water like crazy

DUDE YOU'RE INSANE! LMAO

>mom says I can't use her computer
>use it when she's at work to look naked Pamela Anderson pics
>don't bother deleting the history

Livin' la vida loca

>be in elevator
>someone farts
>it stinks
>I say: "That's the best you can do?"
>I fart loudly
>the sound of my smelly fart resonates in the empty elevator

>post my opinion in a Sup Forums thread
>get shit on by numerous posters
>become so annoyed that I give them all (You)s

A S S D A M A G E D

>mom say "user, when was the last time you showered"
>"yesterday night"
>actually haven't showered for a full week

I suppose I may be a little UNSTABLE

>make some tea for mommy
>tells me to stir it clockwise
>stir it counter-clockwise

I'd give you aids but not really, I'm really careful.

>put on damaged jacket
>draw a scorpion tattoo on my forehead
>put crab legs in my beltloops

I am not well.

>approach some fine maidens at the local shopping mall
>tell a witty joke of my own making
>no reaction
>"why so serious?"

needless to say they FREAKED

>trump
>blame it on the dog

IT SMELLED LIKE EGGS

THE DOG DOESN'T EVEN EAT EGGS

YET THEY DIDN'T SUSPECT A THING

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

>10000x10000
WHY?

>Woman asks me to hold the elevator
>Hit the doors close button instead

HOLD ME DOWN BOYS, THE GAS IS HITTING HARD

>pee pee with my mom holding my hand
>laugh the joker laugh

>cousin wants lego for birthday
>get mega bloks instead

MADMAN

>make a banepost on Sup Forums
>get banned for 3 days

HAHAHA ALL PART OF MY MASTER PLAN

>Eat at restaurant
>Server asks for a tip
>"Smile next time"

HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?????

>tell my psychiatrist I hear voices
>I actually don't
>get prescribed benzodiazepines and antipsychotics I don't even need

OR DO I? YOU CAN'T TELL WITH THIS WILD CARD

...

leave will smith alone

MOMS

GONNA

FREAK

>boss asks me to come in early
>I do but I'm silently unhappy about it

D E R A N G E D

FREAK

Let's go do some crimes.
Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay.