Sometimes, when I'm laying in bed at night...I stare into the darkness and know what it's like to be dead

Sometimes, when I'm laying in bed at night...I stare into the darkness and know what it's like to be dead.

Whoah...

>Staring
>Thinking
>Breathing

Yes that's what dead people do

user, seek help.

yes, sometimes i stop thinking and close my eyes.
i feel how easy it is. i want to die sometimes. not like it gets any better

It could get better. What's wrong?

everything. dad passed several years ago and i still cant comprehend. everything wouldve been better with him.i loved him. more than anything. my dogs, my mom.
i wanna meet him again

Aw I'm sorry :( I don't really know what to say.

crying is my only outlet. i dont wanna cut myself cuz im a fucking pussy and dont want to cut a vein, or lose some nerves.

Nobody you can talk to irl? You need something to set your focus on in order to start moving forward.

and i barely knew him. he was sleeping most of the time. i never really said i loved him because i thought everything was good for me. i thought my dogs, my brother an my parents were the king of the worlds. immortal.

i was wrong.

i dont have a focus. nobody to talk too anymore. im just sad 24/7.
i dont take meds no more too.
they make me feel weird and uncomfortable.
like its not me.

Mmm I know that feel. Zoloft made me feel like I was walking around dead. You must have some interests or something to channel your sadness into..

yeah. cars. too expensive though.
i remember going to japan with my dad, because i was so into cars and jdm. i missed school too. i know he loved me.
i bonded with him so much for that month.
i wish he was still here.

Ask other people who knew your dad, especially when he was younger, to tell you stories about him.
Learn about him that way.
Find out who his friends were when he was your age, go talk to them too.
Be honest with them, say you want to know more about him.

From what you remember of him and what they tell you, learn from him and apply it to your own life.
Do things to honour your father. Work hard, accomplish things, be a good solid person.
Be a man.
You have to be your own father now man, take care of yourself and become responsible.
Keep taking good care of your dogs.

Study and work hard, learn new skills. The best way to honour your father is to live a good life and be a good man.

Choose a focus and make it happen.
You are in control of your own life. You make the decisions.

You don't need medication or anything harmful or negative.
Channel your energy into positive and constructive things.
Force yourself to start, and keep going with them.

Exercise can help.
Pushups every day, go running.
Take up a martial art, a musical instrument.
Express yourself through your body.

Learn carpentry or another useful skill.
What do you like doing?
Cars? Then take a mechanic course, engine maintenance or repair.

same lol

i sleep in class. nothing to do, no friends, no nothing. i dont know how to channel negativity into positivity.
i just want to be bottled up and left alone.

fuck, i ruined the thread
good job me

You wouldn't be here if you wanted to be left alone.

Man up and start forcing yourself to do stuff.
A dude on here once say "fight depression like it is someone trying to take your life".
You beat the shit out of it with any means you have.

Things that work: exercise every day, spending time in the sunlight every day for at least 30 minutes, eating lots of vegetables, lean meat and some fruit and nuts.
Accomplishing things. Small or big, doesn't matter.
Set goals and tasks and do them. You will feel better after every one and life will seem more possible.

My father died some years back, I didn't spend enough time with him, but I have tried to honour him and taken what he taught me and used it to make myself stronger.
Stand up, go outside, go for a walk, turn it into a run and do it every day.
Conquer life.

As for how to change negativity into positivity.
Take that sadness and turn it into anger, that anger becomes a fury, the fury becomes a determination and a fight builds inside you.
That becomes energy and you turn that energy into doing something beneficial and positive.

Whether it be exercise or fixing something in the house or tidying up or selling some old shit or studying hard and not letting life beat you.

Stop any negative thoughts that come and turn them positive.

Example:
"fuck I ruined the thread"
changed to
"Now the thread has stopped, I can go outside and do something."

It is a skill and takes practice.

bump
Hopefully the guy didn't leave

i didnt.

Screenshot or better yet, copy it into notepad and print it out.
Read it every day.

You will figure it out.

Kys