Give me a reason not to kill myself Sup Forums

give me a reason not to kill myself Sup Forums.
>18 y/o
>live in residential home with a bunch of retards
>only way out is going to college
>only reason i got in is bc i go to alternative school which is wicked easy
>smoke cigs and weed to deal w mental illness
>only like sugar, overweight, eat horribly and too depressed to exercise
>can't connect with anyone besides mom and 3 friends i've had for years
>no other family, only brother refuses to talk to me
>no job, make shit money selling nudes and spend it all on weed, cigs and food
>going to college for environmental science, figured if i'm gonna stay alive i should do something useful, but i suck at math and science

if i'm gonna be miserable forever like this i don't want to carry on.

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You're not black.

Kek

hispanic. worse

Cuz you're a fucking warrior

You live once and god knows what happens when you die, might as well endure the torment to see what happens. Who knows, maybe things will change. You're only 18 after all. Make it to 22 and if nothing changes do what you want.

that's what i thought too, to just stick around for the hell of it to see what happens. but this hurts too much to keep watching

This. When I was 18 years old I was a fucking loser. Disgusting hair, complete cynic who hated everyone except 2 of my friends (one who I fucked over and lost). Also, virgin obviously.

At 22 life had taken a completely different turn. Now I'm kind of the opposite to all those things and absolutely loving life.

Just endure, OP, it gets better. and if it doesn't? well, deal with it then.

It sounds to me like you're not even trying.
For real dude, you need to quit the weed and cigs, start working out, eat healthy, read, pick up a hobby of some sort, etc. Moving to a new place could possibly help too.
When I lived in a small town I was feeling pretty mediocre as well, but as soon as I moved to a larger city, I dedicated myself to kicking my unhealthy habits and improving myself.
Now I'm in engineering school at a decent university and I'm not a fat loser anymore.
Just kick yourself in the ass and start trying and I promise that over time you will definitely see results in your quality of life.

i do need to kick myself in the ass, but every time i try i end up having some sort of breakdown and give up. what really got you to change?

nice trips

If you don't want to change your shitty personality, you'll always find an excuse. If you really want to change, you'll find a way.

To be honest, I did mushrooms and had a profound experience which lead me to realize that my lack of confidence was just a story I was telling myself.
I'm not telling you to take mushrooms. I'm saying that you're telling yourself a bullshit story, one saying that you're not worth anything. Your current position is a product of the unhealthy lifestyle your living. I know it's really hard to get over mental illness/depression, but it is possible to do over time.
If there's an overall thing you should change, just start telling yourself a different story, one that involves you having great qualities and potential. This will be easier once you start kicking your bad habits such as diet and health. Like for real, I cannot stress how important diet and health are. Just start there and put as much energy as you can toward getting into shape. Once you get results, then the confidence thing just comes easily.

>depressed since 18
>turning 23 in 3 months
>feeling shitier than before

live isn't for everyone it seems.

it's not my personality, dubs. it's being mentally ill.

If you don't know why you shouldn't do it, than nobody else can help you

thats literally you just making an excuse to not change.

Well, i've got no job, no friends, im fat, im ugly, small dick, depressed, afraid of anything.
But anyway i don't want to kill myself. So you should not do it too.

I do want to change. I just can't find the motivation right now, and that's why I'm asking Sup Forums to give me reasons to carry on, because y'all are usually good at that. Apparently you're an exception.

learn how to eat pussy and you'll be good

Living is pretty neat sometimes, even if you feel like it isnt. Having bad grades, having a shit job, having few friends, having no girlfriend, these things seem really scary, but they wont kill you, and i mean that literally, so they dont really hold that much weight. Keep living

All the time this is boring

Join the army.

Or ISIS.

Quit sugar, drugs and very unhealthy food(but remember to indulge yourself sometimes). Cold turkey, this is the only way, if you slip up its no problem, just continue.

Write a schedule for everything you have to do during the week and follow it like a slave.

Start training, nothing big in the start, but make it part of your rutine.

While you do mundane things like training, cooking etc find a podcast that covers things that you like, it is nice to hear other people talk.

Go out of your way to get to know new people, keep away from other stoners though, they will only cement you into a passive lifestyle. If you struggle to find anyone to spend time with, go hang out with people at elderly homes etc, they love having outside visitors.

Seek out a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist, it is nice to be able to talk to someone you can trust. And it is never anything to be ashamed of!


You will not be miserable forever, everything is fluid in life.

Its never a quick fix, but improvements will come quickly in small steps. And each of those improvements will present new opportunities and before you know it shit is better.

>only 18
Jesus man, if you think this is bad then wait until you get to be 20+.

Nothing out of the ordinary there really, you live a life about 60% of the people on this board live, you're just lazy and prefer to dwell on how shitty your life is instead of taking baby steps to make it better...
>stop eating sugar, eat a healthier alternative like oat meal + honey or something
>lift weights at home for about 30 mins, over a couple of months you'll see some improvements
>go to college, make friends, you must do that. Otherwise you'll be stuck forever alone with almost no opportunities to make friends later in life
>stop giving a shit about family, I live with mine and see them for like 5 mins each day, we don't talk even tho they're in the house. Just focus on your own life
>stop being miserable, it affects others too, thats why people might find you repulsive

Honestly? You're 18. Everybody wants to die when they're 18. Everybody. It's the most uncertain time of your life. Almost everybody does (something) to deal with (something). If you meet someone that doesn't, don't trust them. THAT is the weird shit. Weed and cigarettes are nothing, though I'd quit the cigs because that shit smells and will kill you.

Go to your college with the mentality of "do more things". You said you have a few friends; you can make more. This is actually a really good time of your life to make more. It's hard as an adult. Join clubs or whatever. Remember the people there are JUST LIKE YOU, uncertain and young and sad sometimes.

Colleges usually have pretty good therapy support staff that is free. Just talking and telling your story to someone who won't shit on you about it will make you feel pretty good, trust me. You could even start by just trying to write it down. Something about releasing your thoughts from your head is therapeutic as hell.

Good luck user.

same here, psychadelics helped me realize things about myself that was there all along

This. Hang in there, OP. I'm rootin' for ya.

My though is always this, You're going to die, it doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't matter how much you suffered or how much you didn't. It doesn't matter how healthy you are, it doesn't matter how smart you are, it doesn't matter. Life is temporary, and I have always thought that its pointless to kill yourself prematurely.

I have had a bad life too,

>Suffer gender dysphoria (Don't really care if you believe in it or not.)
>Been raped by my cousin for years.
>Mother abused me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Used to do things like lock me in my room for days at a time with literally nothing put my clothes, I would have to decide whether or not to take them off and use them as a pillow or keep them on and try to stay warm.

Life is a bitch, you decide what the hell you want to do, but if you don't try then that's on you, no one else. You don't get to make an excuse for it.

nothing is worse than being black

How do you sell nudes tho?

So basically what you're saying is you were severely neglected and abused in your younger years, so now your mind has generated a way to be an attention seeking special snowflake, in the form of gender dysphoria? Cool.

actually user, OP has really shitty gender dysphoria too. it just happens to be very low on my priority list currently. your problems are valid.

nice dubs

well, you got two choices, the easy faggot way which you are obviously a fan of judging by your ''im too much of a little bitch to do anything for myself and im lazy, soft and have no will power''

so there's that, never put any effort into life and kill yourself

or... you could simply make the commitment to change, just starting right now, throw out your pack of cigarettes, throw out your weed, go out and buy a gym membership, if you don't have one, go out and look for a job that requires real work and physical activity, when you save up enough get a gym membership, go to the gym, make cleaning, exercise and the pursuit of women your new reason for existence, get your internet shut off or sell your computer so you don't revert to sitting on your ass all day, look up things to do in your city and leave your house EVERY DAY, start eating vegetables, fruits and lean meats, nothing processed or preserved, no canned or frozen shit, give yourself one treat a day if you want it but don't go crazy with mountains of junk food, consider spending actual time and effort into learning things instead of just stimulating yourself with entertainment

you could do that, and just actually put some effort into your life, it would suck at first but if you keep it up eventually your life will become pretty great, you will be in shape and actually have a social life, but I suspect you would prefer the easy faggot way instead because you seem like an easy faggot life kind of guy, nothing is in your control and life's unfair... right?... it is if you think it is

hi guy.

it all starts with discipline. people talk about motivation to do whatever and stop shit, but it's about discipline and forcing yourself to do something. or not. motivation is fleeting, discipline is lasting.

easiest place to start is your diet and exercise. even if you're poor or have no money, it's easy to eat healthy for cheap. 3 pounds of chicken is like 6 bucks, rice is literally cheaper than dirt, beans, brocolli is super fucking inexpensive. easiest thing is to sub water for whatever shit sugar drinks you drink now like redbull and soda, even fucking juice is god damned loaded with sugar, it's absurd you might as well drink a fucking mountain dew when you drink some juice. get your sugar by eating a banana or two a day, some berries with breakfast. slice a lemon and put it in your water

next easiest place to get going is to exercise. if you're out of shape, start simple by walking. you burn as many calories walking as you do running, it just takes longer per mile (15 minutes per mile walking vs an easy 10 minute mile pace or better eventually).

if you're miserable at school, join a club. meeting friends/girlfriends or boyfriends at college is literally the easiest place to meet people. do you like anime? join the anime club and meet up every friday and watch shit. like playing Magic The Gathering? There's probably a club for that and people that meet.

have a hard time at whatever math /science courses you're taking? there's always free tutoring on campus, you just have to set the time up.

there's solutions to problems. you've already identified these problems, why not work to fix them?

video somewhat related, I hope this helps.

youtube.com/watch?v=WlckdvjK0Io

>selling nudes

post some of those

Well you'll only know if things will change if you are actually there to witness them.
I struggled with suicidal thoughts at the age of 11, but decided I'd stay around to see if it got better and luckily it did.
Now don't get me wrong, I had even more struggles to go through after that, but I currently feel much stronger and better suited to live a good life after getting through it.

I said /sell/, not give away!

Nice singles

Go to college and rise above your circumstances

do a flip

What's that painting?
Also. I'm 37.
I hated life when I was eighteen.
Now I'm married with 3 kids.
Life is never perfect.
But if you think this is the worst it can get, them you might as well put a bunch of effort into changing it and it can only get better.
Life is hard. You need to be harder.

This has been really helpful, y'all. You can always count on Sup Forums for a few things: hentai, gore, racism and encouragement when you're suicidal.

>overweight
>make money from selling nudes
How?

Fat people can be sexy, friend.

Nah, I think you should kill yourself. You're a waste of space OP
>druggie
>fattie
>hispanic
>retard

How as in how do you find people who think you're attractive enough to pay?

Also remember, changing a habit ( like thinking in a depressed manner) takes about 21 days to lay the foundations for, where you actively try to think differently.
After that you need to acknowledge your old thought pattern when it happensand accept that is is there, without letting it control you.
Then go back to trying to think in a more beneficial pattern.

give me a reason why you should kill yourself, asshole attention-whore.