26

>26
>probably going to jail soon for recent string of crimes
>not very strong for a man
>severe anxiety
>no job

What should I do and how should i do it?
And by it I mean kill mysf because I can't go to jail, i won survive

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/SnDayqZkUDA
drsnysvet.cz/reznik-drtic-sanic-3000/
youtube.com/watch?v=fLf-iwkMx3A
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Tim_McLean
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>i won survive
jail isn't that bad, stop being such a pussy. The most i've ever saw in a jail was a fight between people who knew eachother outside of jail

Which state? Jail or prison?

Go and trick someone in there into killing you.

Then you won't even be remembered as that loser who killed himself, you're that loser who was murdered in prison by another, worse loser.

Sorry am taking a lot of medication to calm myself

A guy in our town jumped out of a building for the same reason.

Canada and jail
Probably only a couple years if I get caught which at this point seems likely

I dont think there are a lot of murderes in this jail

Warrensburg?

>I dont think there are a lot of murderes in this jail
A chance to die by a hand not your own, and be the first at something. Great news.

Nope. A small town in czech republic

you big vagina. Most people would be fine, though you act a tad bit retarded so who knows?

fuck me
this >

Jail is easy cheesy. It isn't prison. You are watched far more closely and are more secure there. Also, most of the people there will be just regular people, waiting on court dates, etc, no one wants "another charge". Most are there to do their time and gtfo as easy and quietly as possible. Yeah, it sucks, is boring, the food is terrible. But it's easy to spot the crackheads. The "like minded" peeps tend to sort each other out, stay away from the obvious shitbads. Give the guards a break, their job sucks anyway, they are stuck in jail with you too.

If a fight happens when you get to the dorm, stay out of the way. Follow the guards orders. If there ever was shit that happened it was over quickly and was problem over something stupid I'm sure. See above
>no one wants another charge
They just wanna get their time done and gtfo.

Im really not that retarded just fucked up on xans

Its ok i got it, do you know Řezník horrorcore rapper?

This sounds like good advice thank you. Im still scared shitless because I look like a fucking nerd and my charges are for fraud so its not really something to brag about

My nigga I do

youtu.be/SnDayqZkUDA

there isn't shit to brag about when going to local jail. If you went to prison you'd have shit to worry about

>Canada and jail

middle school is probably tougher

lol I was hoping you'd say that. I don't know how big your country is but have you ever seen him? I wonder if he is ugly without the mask.
I first found him on redtube, the music video for ditric sanic 3000 or something like that. Good shit

Fraud under 10k might put me in prison??

>Fraud

Even if you went to big-nigger-pound-me-in-the-ass prison you wouldn't be on the bottom of the totem pole. If you raped a child or beat your wife you'd be in more danger but that is not the case.

Lets hope, i cried on the floor in the middle of class once because I felt nauseous.
I was not very popular

Nobody really cares why you're there unless it's for sex offenses.

Never seen him but I went to a university with a guy that runs a club and he had Řezník there as an act. He told he the guys is a really shy and nice guy and all that horrorcore and gore persona is just an act of his.

Don't be a pussy. If you have to go to prison, then go. There's life after prison, and yes, there is life in prison too.

don't drop the soap because you'll get raped

What he said

That is really cool I didn't know that.
I wonder if desade is actually crazy or if its just an act too.
They were how I found out about mc bushpig haha. Crazy shit.
Never talked to anyone that knew anything about this stuff

How will i ever get a good paying job? I mean its not worked out for me so far but yeah

yeah well i´m not really into this. It´s a great show if you wanna get wasted and pogo with some guys and the lyrics are fun to listen as well (that is if you understand them) He´s been an object of controversy as well in my country, it gave him quite a boost in popularity. He is one of those musicians that you have to really understand to enjoy.

Jail isn't shit.
it's sitting around playing cards and watching tv
sign up to be a trustee if your crimes are nonviolent, you'll get to do all kinds of shit

what are you condemned for?

drsnysvet.cz/reznik-drtic-sanic-3000/

Finally found it, its hard to search for things in different languages.
When he raps into the mic sticking out her snatch its funny and cool as fuck lol
Never seen that before

Thats not canadian jails bro. Here you are most likely to be raped or beaten while in lock up or holding.

I'll take a beating just wont recover from rape.
I have tramadol, celbrex, citroalapram, clonazepam, codeine (T3) and xanax and a good amount of each. What is a good concoction to OD and will it be messy because I don't want my girlfriend to see

yeah we czechs are degenerates

youtube.com/watch?v=fLf-iwkMx3A

Who the fuck commits suicide because they're going to jail? If you know you've got that in your back pocket then your options are endless. Go have a blast without caring about the law, and then off yourself if you still feel like it.

Lol, you seriously being a fucking pussy. I'm facing 15 years in solitary confinment (23 hours in cell) in an extremely overcrowded, shitty US prison. To make it worse im already on felony probation, so ya know the judge is gonna fucckkkkkk me.

I'm 22, educated and none of my crimes have to deal with stealing or drugs or forgery.

If you cant do the time, dont do the crime. I currently have an excellent job even with a felony on my record.

I have met people in worse conditions that made it so you have a chance.

no dude he means if someeon in prison found out u got caught with fraud its kinda lame. not like murder or anything ... CHILL THE FUCK OUT DUDE. SHITS COOL PEOPLE FUCK UP I GOT EXPELLED OUTTA SCHOOL and ut through more shit than u will ever deal with during ur little time in jail or whatever. shits cash life is good. suicide is a permeant solution to a temporary problem. cool it u fuck

YOURE NOT GOING TO GET RAPED, SERIOUSLY LOL. ive been in jail like 10 times and about to be shipped off to prison! Ask me questions, what the fuck do you want to know? Im seriously trying to help you.

if u kys just make sure to video tape it.

>I'm facing 15 years in solitary

how the fuck do you manage that, did you beat your wife and kid every day?

my cousin's baby daddy claims he was raped in county jail numerous times, and yet just like you said i haven't heard any other stories or instances of this happening. He was probably lying and actually went to state or federal or something.

Former jailer here. Since you're going to jail and not prison you'll be fine. Saw plenty of fuckers just wanting to do their time and get out. Depending on how your classified when you're booked in, you may be eligible for work. If you do that you can get time off your sentence. Had an inmate come in and do 18 months for a 2 year sentence.

Inb4 show tits.
Im a girl with no children.

Jail is no big deal. Mind your own business.Keep your mouth shut. Act like you got an IQ of 79 which you probably do.

>i won survive

don't worry, you will.
I've done 4 years in 5 separate stints.

Just don't act like a bitch and don't do or take favors for ANYONE.. ANY FUCKING ONE.

A dude got killed when I was on the inside because he said fuck off when a lifetimer wanted to him to repay a favor.. he wanted him to shank a nigger

pic unrelated

Why do people think there is so much rape in prison?

What did you do? You all get sentenced so much lighter that being a chick probably would have shaved off half of my 12 year sentence. I can't guess what you're looking at.

Have you done solitary before? I did a few months back when I was 18, 23-24 hours a day in the cell. Fucks you up glad I only did a short time.

Yeah I know it orobably wont happen I just am tired you know
i can never get ahead. I make a shit ton of money and theh found out how and i dont know what he next step is. I just want to be on top for once.

In jail are there gangs or is that only in prison?
How bad is the food really?
Can i get a cell by myself or is it better to be with another person or multiple people?
How do you survive when you get out? In terms of money, do you keep doing illgeal shit?

OP here
I have watched OZ 3 times so far
Its all I know

Just kill yourself on stream.
Call me a faggot but I don't really like those kinds of videos, but fuck there's alot of freaks on here that'll enjoy the shit out of that.

Do it for Sup Forums, be an hero, commit an hero.

OP here again thanks everyone for the advice and company
Am spending time with my cats and just anxiously waiting for calls from my parents and lawyer. Not sure how far this will go

Gangs in jail. Treat everyone with respect.
Food is absolute garbage, but you will want as much as you can get.
Single cell is hard to come by, good luck.
Get out, get a blue collar job (in the US a lot of states give tax credits for hiring ex-felons) or be your own boss/freelance work (computer science whatever).

I wouldn't pay much attention to a silly tv show.
The last question you asked here makes the most sense. Ever notice how most inmates make it out alive, or how the ones who stay rarely ever get killed?

Jail isn't that bad. Same with federal prison stay away from state prisons though.

And to answer your question. Jump in front of a fast moving train

What i did to get on felony probation considering the prosecuter was straight up reccomending me going to prison definetely had everything to due with me being a girl. It was a "very horrible crime" and no i dont regret it. But I guess the judge was just like wtf how could someone as small as you and as innocent looking as you do this, lol. Idk.

Me doing the possible 15 years, im hoping the girl thing will get me out of it again. But idk this time. Very few if any attorneys have dealt with a case like this so idk guys.

Im just trying to help suicidal homeboy out. Theres a light at the end of the tunnel, and the last time i was in jail i actually had fun haha!

I treat everyone with respect, so ive been told.
Maybe I can do a landscaping business or something and work in the warm months.
I feel lieke this is all too much though, being high is the only thing that calms me now

Well im also worried about what my friwnds and family will think when they find out. I'll feel really bad for letting them down. What didnyou tell your people?

OP here, why arent you more scared? Did you kill your baby or pull a lorena bobbit?

What about pleading not guilty for reason of insanity or something if this is a case that has a jury

Find out what? Would you care to elaborate?

God damn I love me some crazy girl.

what did u do bitch
did u cut off a guy's dick you feminist fuck?

Yeah 5 days, its right downstairs by then recception area so you get to see all the drunk fucks fighting with the deputys, lol. Wasnt that bad. I actually started playing with fucking ants in my cell tho, i was bored as hell.

what.did.you.do.

Find out my charges and me going to jail
They all think im a really good hearted person and never do anything bad but really just been commiting fraud and usinf some of the money for drugs, my gf doesnt know or atleast doesnt say anything when im fucked up

No? Feminists are stupid as fuck lmfao

Personally, I would worry about simply getting through jail. You will have plenty of time to think of how you will handle all of that.

White supremacy crimes, jk its pretty irrelevent

>I'm gonna talk about how stiff my sentence is but I'm not going to say what I did because being evasive gets me more (you)s

What did y'all do to get jail/prison time?

I think honestly i am the most impatient person I know. I feel like I always have to be doing something. How the fuck will I survive with no means of entertainment, what can you even do in jail to pass the time?

Are the drugs mentioned on record? Otherwise say you had a gambling problem. Regardless, people are pretty cool about this shit nowadays. After a dozen years down, all my old high school friends still speak to me.

Are you fat and unattractive? Because you're pushing all the right buttons for me here.

Not on record
Do they make you take a piss test though and would that info become public or would someone be able to request that info if they wanted?

Many things. Exercise, read, watch tv, work detail.

This. So fucking this. Canadian jail? Enjoy the floor hockey finals Ricky.

Jesus fuck.
Since every state calls it different felony probation was assault with dangerous weapon basically

15 yrs im not going to talk about because i know how bad Sup Forums flips fuck about this

Occasional random piss tests in jail, but you'll be clean by then I'm sure.

Also, I thought I was replying to the chick in that second part. I'm stuck on this crazy bitch.

(You)ing intensifies

No lol my pictures have been posted on here before in one of those idk girl threads before :[ then i was alerted and now im a Sup Forums lurker sadly

yes im running out and plus ive got no more cash, I had to return everything i "stole".
Not sure what her deal is, she seems nice to me but I wouldnt boast about doing hard time and not say what for

Do you know pleading insanity never works?

>i can never get ahead. I make a shit ton of money and theh found out how and i dont know what he next step is. I just want to be on top for once.

Well that right there is your problem. You're only allowed to break the law to make a shit ton of money if you're already rich. If you're not rich and you break the law to become rich they'll just take your money, give it to somebody who is already rich, and send you to jail.

This guy did it and he turned out ok. I know he is a disgusting gook but still Canadian (for OP's peace of mind)

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Tim_McLean

It's not bad just very boring and uncomfortable, you can make friends there. And people keep to themselves. My friend got into a fight in county one time and they were punished, he almost got in another but he said a nice guy gave him food and money to stop it.

I went to jail in jeans and a spider man shirt, also have braces. The judge was late so I went to county, was very not good.

Which state/region?

This
The only thing I will add is there are a few rules you have to follow (in US prisons at least) don't call anyone a bitch, a snitch, a punk. Thems fighting words. If you do call someone/get called one of these names by some one, and you for whatever reason decide to not fight then you will be forced to switch pods.

It's fairly easy though. The heads of whatever race you are with will speak to you within your first couple days of being there, and give you the low down. It's completely what you make of it though. Don't waste your time while you are there. I know a couple people that going to prison was the best thing that ever happened to them.
It changed them for the better.

Thanks for posting that shirt op

Holy shit im buying that rn too thanks dude. As long as its not being shipped from china.

I went in as a 6'3 180lb scared 19yo. You'll be fine, just don't talk shit, don't tell on anyone, don't buy from/sell to/accept gifts from anyone, don't steal anything, and no you don't want to get high. If you avoid that, it's pretty easy.
Came out as a 6'4 215 32yo and I feel like a million bucks. Just roll with it, man.
Did my crazy chick leave?

Nah still here, was buying that shirt lol. Midwest

So I've always wondered:
Is it easy to get books in prison?
It seems like it would be a good way to spend your time, and not be bored, but I doubt that many prisons have big (or any) libraries just hanging around.

i would kill myself before going back to jail

You are fucked and it will only go downhill from here. A true nosedive for you. One way out of this situation. Many different methods leading to one single option.

I'd suggest the rope or simple but efficient jump, but in the end you must choose way out you want. Good luck

Damn. Was hoping you were PNW, you crazy little degenerate. Good luck with your court.
Books are easy to get, especially if your people will help. I read a couple hundred books. I recommend 'Les Miserables', since you have the time for the unabridged version.

Get your gun, some food and warm clothing and head for the hills. Get off the grid or shoot yourself in the woods. just don't leave a last message like a whiny pussy

Yeah, its very easy. Even smallass jails have a bookcart and a even a law library. All prisons have a library of some sort.