Let's assume you're not an actual psychopath and two days ago you've accidentally killed your neighbors 3 yo kid with a...

Let's assume you're not an actual psychopath and two days ago you've accidentally killed your neighbors 3 yo kid with a car. What would you say to kid's parents at the funeral to express your regret about what happened?

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carmageddon is awesome

What did you do op?

nam jef

so kill kib

so so

have bik, me cry

bye

"The fuck didn't you teach him to look both ways?"

Why the fuck would you even attend the funeral in the first place dipshit

;(

I know it's a little soon bit it's going to cost $300 to get the dent your kid left on the hood. Could you wire the money before I book it in I'm a little low on funds

The first 3 years are the best anyways.

Everyday I lose a bit more of myself begging to have been killed instead of your son

Include me in screenshot CNN!!!

Your son is dead and your never going to see him again because gods not real

something along those lines

Allahu Ackbar, God is Great! Praise be to Allah for this glorious victory over these Infidels!

theres literally nothing you could possibly say. you probably shouldnt even go to the funeral.

Little shit shouldn't have jumped out of my trunk

"I'm so sorry. I'll buy you a new one"

Because that's what all normal thinking people would do.
Okay you've killed the kid, but it wasnt on purpose so you can still moan or whatever.
Fuck i hate autists like you

Sorry, i hope you will get over it soon, as I already did.

Nice day for a funeral! Just shows that God is there for us all. *walk away quickly*

I only meant to cripple him, not kill him.

I wouldn't even go to the funeral

I'm sure there's a Linkin Park lyric that would express your remorse

I'd say i have no idea what to say, i am deeply sorry, and if i could exchange my life for the kid's i would. If there's anything i can do, or if they never want to see me again, just let me know.

"Shit happens"

...

timestamp with pic of kid's mangled body

Haha my hero right here

hittin you're kid realy put the fun in funeral

hhh

Get the death sound from Mario Bros on your phone, and when they lower the casket. Press play.

Yes, Our Lord commands it.

"At least I left him in one piece!"

Oh Yisss

I fucking lost my shit

lel

I wouldn't go to the funeral tbh I'd feel like shit because it was a kid but other than that I wouldn't give a shit

He was gonna be the next Hitler. I did you guys a favor.

Still Warm

I moan late at night for the little dumplings too.

There's nothing to say or do. This is a time to leave them alone and just let them grieve.

To show you understand you fucked up and don't ever want this to happen again, it wouldn't hurt to participate in outreach programs and neighborhood safety campaigns.

Do not "try to fix it." The kid is dead. The family is irreparably damaged. There is no "normal" for them anymore. Just do your part for the rest of society and, one day, the time will be right for you to tell the family how much you imagine you've hurt them.

>Okay you've killed the kid
>but it wasn't on purpose
>so you can
>still moan

show them this pic and say
> I'm not gonna lie. This is definitely me when I ran over your kid.

Oh stop

If you don't want to end up in jail or in poverty for the rest of your life, you say NOTHING. Somewhere out there a lawyer, whether it be a DA, or a civil attorney, is looking for a way that you can be made to pay for this. Say NOTHING. Do NOTHING. Move away if possible. The next few days will determine how the rest of your life goes.

*Walk up slowly next to parents in front of casket*

S-sorry.. for your l-loss.. On the bright side.. my insurance covered the damage to my bumper.

*Step back and fade away*

I'm not certain they want you at the funeral. Be prepared to leave immediately if they are upset. This funeral is NOT about YOU.
Try not saying anything and LISTEN. Listen to the words spoken and the tears shed. If you are forced into a conversation with the parents say " I am so sorry" and then STFU and LISTEN- ONLY LISTEN.

No phone, not another focus or thought for the f=time you are there. NO talking to anyone else.

topkek

Always look on the bright side i see, i liek that, kid.

Yeah I wouldn't go either. Just let the family mourn in peace. I'd send a heartfelt apology letter and nice flowers though

WHY IS IT ALWAYS HAS O BE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SHIT!?!? I SUFFER TOO YOU KNOW! THIS IS NOT EASY FOR ME NEITHER! WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU MAN! FUCK YOU!!!

*walks up to the father*

Come on, we both know it wasn't yours!

God I hate police prosecutors so much

I'm sorry for killing your child, I'll turn myself into the authorities after the service.

And then, in about a year, when you get a summons to appear in civil court, and you are being sued for not only everything you own, but everything you ever own in the future, and your "I am so sorry" is repeated by the parents on the witness stand as evidence of your guilt, well, you can thank Sup Forums for the GREAT advice. Say NOTHING. Do NOTHING. Hire a lawyer on retainer to handle all interactions with the police, it'll be the most important few thousand dollars you ever spend.

"whoops"

The first thing I would do it talk to them at home and say something like "words can never express how truly sorry I am about what happened" and at some point ask them if they would prefer you not attend the funeral, or would it be alright if you did.
They may not actually hold you responsible, since it was an accident, but they also may not actually want to see you there. So figure out a grown up way to let them know you want to pay your respects, but you'll not attend if that's what they want.

Thanks to your kid, I finally gave up drinking.

>i dont care about ur little shit dont sue

Maybe I wouldn't go to the funeral.
Maybe I would let them process the loss without having them see the face of the guy that killed their child.
Maybe I would have a mediator facilitate a meeting and express my remorse even if it was by accident.

And maybe, just maybe, i wouldn't take selfies while raping the corpse of their beloved deceased child and post it on normiebook. But that's just me

P.S. if you texted, emailed, or wrote a god damn thing about this to anybody, you need to make that shit hard to find (or gone forever). When you are forced to attend a deposition they will ask you questions like "Did you discuss this anybody?" And EVERY SINGLE PERSON that you discussed this with will then also have to give depositions. Say NOTHING to ANYBODY. Stop talking. Every word you write becomes a permanent record and their lawyers will find them.

"Sir, allow me to express my deepest apologies for you, as my car was unfortunately struck by your filthy, obese child.
Let me first explain my deepest sorrow for asking you earnestly for the bill of over 1200 dollars for repairs to my vehicle."

>underrated post

Always look on the bright side of life
youtu.be/SJUhlRoBL8M

And then, start to cry really loud while you're kicking the priest in the balls.

no, you would definitely not attend the funeral you autistic fuck.

Shit was tight.

If this is real, the fact that you are posting here shows you are an absolute fucking retard who is either going to do jail time or be poor for the rest of his life because he didn't know how to shut the fuck up.

Just go to the funeral and scream:"DEJA VU"and go away
Seriously it is better for both of you to keep distance

nothing is real this is chan4

Kek

hey OP are you the same poster who said he ran over a kid and the mother attacked you?

if the parents don't try to sue me or anything, i would give 0 fucks

This. Much less say something to them, if I got away with it thus far, I'll just try to forget it. It's not like you're even going to make anything better by talking to them, it's purely so you can feel better about yourself.

Just say he jumped out in front of you and run away

Trips speaks truth

Accidents happen.
My accident fixed yours.