OK /b I need advice. I've been wanting to have sex with my grandmother since I was fifteen, and four years later it's even worse. I'm a virgin, and I live with her, so every damn day I have to jerk away my feelings for her. Almost every day she makes remarks about how she 'used to be pretty', and I tell her that she still is. Sometimes she makes jokes about her body, like one time she gave me an unused t-shirt because her 'boobs were way too big for it' and things like that. She tells me somewhat uncensored stories about her twenties and the guys she was with. Today was her 65th birthday (she is still smoking, pic related the boobs are similar in size) and I took her out to dinner (100 dollar bill) plus gave her 350 dollars to help with her kitchen getting remodeled...I forgot to mention that she always wears these real thin and tight leopard pattern pants at night, that give me an instant boner, and I think once or twice she's noticed. Anyway, what I wanna know is, is there any sign from all that she wants to bang, and/or can I coax something out of her as a thank you for the money/dinner? P.S She's single, has been for a long time. Thanks /b
OK /b I need advice. I've been wanting to have sex with my grandmother since I was fifteen...
What the fuck did I just read?
Just tell her you want to fuck her, faggot.
Let her catch you hard. Gauge her reaction. Maybe leave the shower door open a crack and see if she comes in or opens it anyway then you'll know if she's looking.
post real pics before I give any advice
Idiot. She's telling you this stuff because she figures she's *safe*, you perv Sup Forumstard!
>tell her
I don't think so, then if she's not into it i'm a perv
I've thought of this but I want a good pln of doing it without bad consequences if it didnt work
Steal her phone and look for nudes fag.
password locked, and I don't think she has any she hasn't even dated in years...
Shower with door open
Best advice, kill yourself
She's trying to tell you that someone your age should be out being adventurous and getting laid, jackass.
Get on it or get on her and reap the consequences.
>i do not think she has any she has not even in dated in years
wtf am i reading
Well, yeah, I mean...women don't just take nudes for the hell of it do they?
Go easy and try to find out. Subtlety is the key. If she bites - smash. If not - bullet dodged.
yeah i know that but HOW do i 'go easy' everyone just says shit like show her your cock and shit...i need a gameplan
If any of us knew how to do it we would give you a more detailed plan but none of us have
This
Bumping to see where this goes
A Dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep.
Get caught jerking off or being naked
OP is Phillip J Fry
op you better be meming
this is so fucked
Kek
You are a sip faggit. Shes using u as a emotional tampon.
Would it be better if instead of jerking it, I was just sitting watching porn with no sound or looking at pictures or something, and act like I didn't mean for her to see it?
In a conversation, say, when she's loading your laundry or making you a PBJ, ask: "Gammy, are you into listless launch failures with no aspirations or social skills?"
You're welcome.
When she tells you some sexy story ask her outright: is it wrong that I'm hot for you with that story?
Her reaction will tell you what you need to do next.
Think about it, you didn't come on to her, you just expressed a simple feeling. And it's already her fault. Whatever she says, run with it.
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I had sex with my gran for years staying on their farm over summers as a kid, don't knock it, was awesome
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PPOST PICS OF YOUR GRANDMOTHER ALS TITS
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This
>don't knock it
I can tell your story is bullshit just by that. how fuckin old was she? ever heard of menopause? knocking up your grandma should be the last thing to worry about, and I doubt your grandma was younger than 50
Let her caught you jerking of and see how it goes.
kek
If she looked like this I would 10/10 bang
Please die soon, OP.
Wait for her to die then have sex with corpse
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Pretty sure that's not what he meant.
Well, I've never made a pass at my granny or anyone else in my family, but the sensible thing to do is to make sure she catches you jerking it rock hard to some granny porn
That'll get the idea into her head and if she has even half a brain she will make the connection that you're thinking about her
Maybe she'll give you a handy or something at least
if a joke - lame.
if not - you are a sick fuck.
Yes but make sure it features mature women who look like her.
>not being able to tell your granny about your sexual fantasies in 2017
come the fuck on user its time to grow some granny-fucking balls.
Just give up, faggot. Most people would be sickened by this, probably your grandmother included. Unless she's into fucking her own grandchildren (very, very unlikely), your not getting any of that shrivelled cunt. Sometimes you just need to grow up and accept that the world doesn't work like porn.
Preach!
>65
>65 fucking years old
we're gon need a pic to gauge her hotness OP
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This. You know she's not here, so post em
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE WITH YOUR GRANDMA? GROW UP AND BE A MAN FAGGOT!!!!
SATANIC TRIPS. KEK WILLS UT FUCK YOU GRANDMOTHER, JERK IN HER ROOM AND LET HER CATCH YOU ACT SUPRISED.
Not bad. Consider this OP its a social trap in your favor.
>I want a good pln of doing it without bad consequences if it didnt work
If you can't figure out how to talk your way out of the responsibility in the situation of someone catching you jerking off, then you must be so goddamn brain damaged that you have trouble chewing, walking, and breathing at the same time.
Ok. Here we go. Try to sleep in the same bed with her. Then pretend you are asleep and press your boner against her and see how she reacts. If she reaches back to feel it, your good to go. If she moves over to get away, give up
For real man....
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Try some hidden cam voyeur, jerk off, and let that poor old woman alone.
Here's the plan. Borrow a friend's phone. Leave your phone in the kitchen or something. Be in your room masturbating to busty women with your head phones on but on mute. When you got a good solid boner, call your phone. You'll probably hear your grams call your name and head to your bedroom. You should have your back to the door. If you hear the door open and not close then your nana is watching you. This, is stage 1.
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