Post the most autistic thing you've ever done

Post the most autistic thing you've ever done

>Be me
>Be in Grade 10
>Autistic Indian halfbreed
>In a private school because there is no way I would survive around normies
>See this super hot girl in my class
>Try to work up the courage to ask her out
>End up stalking her for half the year
>One day, I see her in the parking lot
>Finally work up the courage to ask her out
>She says no with a look of disgust
>Suddenly feel this intense rage inside me
>I grab her tit, kiss her and ran away
I was so embarressed that day that I got my parents to switch me to a different school

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/cyXfkXGkRH4
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Fake, no one is legitimately this autistic.

This is Sup Forums anything is possible. :-D

Oh shit i did something similar but not as autistic as you OP.

>Be at college party
>drank too much and needed to lay down
>find quite room
>sleep
>wake up two hours later
>drunk girl asleep on bed next to mine
>party still going on downstairs
>sniff drunk slags hair
>precede to masturbate
>making noise as I'm about to cum
>don't realize there are other people asleep in the same room
>someone turns light on
>I am revealed to the whole room with pants around my ankles, courched over sleepy drunk firl
>its too late for me to stop
>try to catch the jizz in my hand to stop it from landing on drunk girl
>guys want to twat me to death
>use the jizz on my hands to ward away potential punches
>pull up pants and run all the way home
>quit college

I cringe so much remembering this story that I now have to change my shirt because I sweated too much typing it

>use the jizz on my hand to ward away potential punches

>MFW Indians arrange marriages because they can't get any on their own

I have a story

>be me, 15, virgin
>gf calls me over
>watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch
>she is touching me all over my body
>my brain gets scrambled, thinking about losing my virginity
>try to take her bra off
>can't do it because brain stated to drift off
>"you haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you user"?
>"Just your mom's"
>wtfdidIjustsay.jpg
>tells me to leave
>explain to her that I didn't mean it
>nope.avi
>breaks up with me next day
>still virgin, hate my life

Why do I say these things? At least I'm not a sexual predator like OP.

Bump

Give me a B!

Normally I would never post this but OP set the bar so low I don't think I can surpass that amount of autism

>11th grade
>gym class
>no friends, never talk to anyone
>this dude starts making fun of me
>goes back and forth for weeks
>finally, says something like "go fuck your mother"
>surrounded by the rest of the class
>i reply
>"I did that"
>what the fuck
>I meant to say something like I fucked yours
> but instead it came out "I did that"
>class bursts into laughter
>I want to die

when i was in kintdergarten there was a nigress midget that i happened to tolerate( unlike the masses ) some could even call me the autist queen, Ruler of the Autists ( I collected all the rejects and played with the cast outs- I- myself, as you can tell by this posting matter, where was I? Anyway ) since she was black I had it in my mind that
>I should ask her if I could lick her to see if she tasted like chocolate
>recess
>her and i
>I go for it, she shrieks and runs to tell the teacher
>She didn't taste like chocolate :-/

>Be me in 9th grade
>super beta
>sees a qt3.14 and turn to my buddy "who dat"
>Thats (we'll call her C) I dated her once
>You still have her number? "Yeah man"
>Get her number and text C through this anonymous texting app basically telling her how much I like her and I can't tell her my name
>ended up giving my real number and we text for a bit
>she obviously isnt interested and is being friendly, but me being the autistic fag I am, keep running with it.
>couple of hugs and shit but looking back I can tell she was uncomfortable
>ask to hang out sometime and shes like sure I guess
>ends up blowing me off 5 or 6 times with stupid excuses.
>Tell people about my upcoming "date"
>she comes to me and says "why the fuck are you telling people we are going on a date"
>Faq.png
>Im not. I dunno what you're talking about
>never talk again

>be me
>be in first grade
>taking test
>teacher tells us if we can't do a problem, put a smile face
>middle of test
>look up at teacher
>smile as hard as I can
>hold smile for a solid 2 mins
>mfw placed into special Ed next week

Get your own story faggot

Christ even Elyot Rodgers wasn't as thirsty as you

Oh fuck here we go.
>be me
>grade 3
>Curious little me asked if girls had penises
>"no user, they dont"
>"What do they look like?" Muttered my dumb ass.
>sister jokingly interrupts saying "ask one of the girls at your school"
>next day
>go to school, eat lunch, blah blah blah
>at reccess
>see a girl
>litteraly fucking ask her if I can see her vag
>she has a look of disbelief
>tells the teacher
>teacher got fucking pissed at me


It fuckin hurts to think about this.

you haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you user

>just your mom's

I kek'd

This explains my grades autistic level
>> be in 7th grade
>> Not a ton of friends but whatever. They are all fags anyway
>> Stop talking to most of my classmates
>> One day everyone starts being nice and cool to me so I'm like okay.png these douches aren't so bad.
>> Girl starts talking to me(8/10) we become friends and I start to like her because of her constant flirting


>> Fast forward a 6 months

>> She stops talking to me and I'm like wtf.jpeg Turns out her friends said I was stalking her(I wasn't) then she goes the next 5 years and doesn't say a word to me. Broke my fucking heart.

>> Turns out the whole grade was nice to me because they thought I was going to kill myself.

>> Fuck everyone

Still hate my fucking graduating class. Plus I made sure to make situations as awkward as fuck with this bitch. Joined group projects and made sure to fuck up her portion because I was always the guy who had to finish projects.

Yeah, kek.

>>> Turns out the whole grade was nice to me because they thought I was going to kill myself.

At least they cared enough to be nice to you. They could have just told you to kill yourself.

Fuck I think that would be better. I never have had intentions to kill myself.

>be 14
>camping with aunt and uncle
>aunt has huge tits
>night comes
>aunt is sleeping close to me cause in tent
>think of her tits
>teenagehormonesactivate.exe
>unzip her sleeping bad quietly
>sneak hand into sleeping bag
>hands shakey as fuck
>cop a feel on aunts tits
>jerk off while squeezing her tits
>cum hard
>next day
>aunt says to me "oh user did you get a good sleep last night"?
Me: Yes
>Aunt: "I was up all night"
mfw

Holy fuck. Did you nut on her

i flagged down a car once then just punched out the driver once
is that autistic or?

If he did he still got more pussy then OP and didn't have to assault a bitch

>be me
>show off in high school
>any crazy stunt and I'm the one to do it
>highlight was playing chicken with a train
>back to autism
>at party
>drinking and having a blast
>hey user how down are you?
>down af
>suck off Jarret if you're so down
>proceed to suck the shit out of Jarret's dick
>next week are the school video is circulating
>I become the black death and no one wants to be around me
>went from school bad ass to school faggot in one weekend
>drop out due to humiliation
>currently manager at local kfc

> be in 10th grade used to be a shy motherfucker
>other autist set off fire alarm and everyone is sent outside
>cold as fuck out side so I'm shaking
>qt3.14 comes up to me
> "hey user you seem chilly"
> engage autistic mode
>engage autistic screeching
>ment to say "hey"
>comes out as "i FUCKNG hATE girls"
>thefuck.jpeg
>tells the whole fucking school
>mfw get homo-gay ass scholarship

that

just made me feel 100% better. thanks user

fucking kill yourself

KEK

Is this the same kid? Lol
youtu.be/cyXfkXGkRH4

That probably comes down to the fact that Elyot Rodgers was half ricenigger whereas OP is half poo

We need a designated holocausting street

Holy shit you may be right!

>>Be in college.
>> Have a roommate with a shared room
>> Have gf come over(we slept in a twin sized bed and I'm 6'6 330lbs so it's a tight fucking fit)
>> Can't sleep
>> Wake gf up and say hey let's fuck
>> proceeds to fuck gf and I nut.
>> Roommate says his heart has been hurting all night
>> Take him to ER fucker almost died
>> Said he was awake thru the whole thing.

I was a thirsty fucker but i never went farther than sending cringyass messages to girls
it was more of a self-hate thing anyway

POO

I cringe to the thought of the chicks I tried fooking. Made out with one drunk chick and sucked her titties. Her scary ass mother ducking hulk boyfriend knocked on my door the next day.....I blocked her and all her friends and proceeded to not leave my apartment for a week.

>Her scary ass mother ducking hulk boyfriend knocked on my door the next day
yeah fuck that, idgaf what i did if anyone comes for me they're dying

I got caught using a paper towel tube as a makeshift fleshlight by my friend's mom in their kitchen when I was 14

Not really autistic but still haunts me sometimes

>Be me
>Middle School
>Sell PSP to kid at school
>"OH SHIT FUCK I LEFT ALL MY PORN ON IT"
>Hundreds of images from Ecchi board
>Few dozen MP4 videos I saved off of Porn hub
>Next day get endless shit because he showed everyone on his bus what I had

I mean it wasn't anything too outrageous lots of it was Vintage Porn vids from 80's/90's

>be sophomore in HS
>be in Bio class with a lot of cute girls
The girls aren't really important, but it illustrates how much more detrimental spaghetti fit had on me long term.. Anyway
>looking around the classroom between bells
>class starts filling up
>teacher blabs about some non important shit
>continue to space the fuck out
>hear her ask "any questions" to the subject at hand
>hear this just as I see a box labeled 'Incubator'
>get a jolt of excitement as I've tended chicken coops before and can get a mess of eggs
>also in that second thinking long term:
>maybe if its a lab, I get paired up with a qt and can cruise control the lab since I know what to do, giving me a chance to charm her and get the ins.
^ After typing that, I really do see just how aspie this whole idea was in my head.
>raise hand like I knew the location of Jimmy Hoffa or something
>teacher calls on me
>class turns
>like 10 girls look at me
>panic
>ask (and I quote):
"When do we get to..... make..... babies?"
>entire class wuts.webm
>kid sitting next to me pushes all my books off the table
>a bunch of girls laugh but a few look at me like I just decapitated a puppy, then fucked the neck hole
>teacher loses it laughing and has to leave into the private lab to laugh at my dumbfuck question
>pick shit up and kinda just keep spacing out

Told my ex best friends girlfriend to text me every morning to wake me up in college. Every time I got drunk I'd try to hit her up.

He proceeded to become a faggot cutter and last time I saw him I made fun of it the whole time. Last words to him were "I hate to cut things short but I've got a slice of pizza waiting for me." He hasn't talked to me in 3 years.

Alpha as fuck.

>be me
>18 with gf of 2 years
>keep DSi in bedside table because I play it once every 4 months when I can't sleep.
>unbeknownst to me gf finds DSi and takes nudes on it.
>break up with her 2 years later and forget about DSi
>find DSi last month and discover nudes...
Should I post?
MFW

it's still sexual assault to molest a sleeping person tard

lol i did and said stupid shit like that all the time in school and most of the time people loved it
I was so fuckign bored i just stopped giving a fuck what anyone thought

Post away!

>be in grade 6
>middle of a test
>friend with anger issues is frustrated at the test
>space out watching him break pencils and yell at the test
>forget we're taking a test
>he says "this question makes no fucking sense!"
>i blurt out the answer like a retard
>teacher yells my name and the whole class looks at me
I felt like a idiot for a solid week. The teacher had nice tits though.

Fuck it.
>> be 8th grade
>> Sneak into lunchroom kitchen
>> immediately have to piss
>> See coffee cup
>> Janitors coming oh shit.gif
>> Piss in cup and dump the piss in the trash

>> Next day I see cook drinking out of piss up
>> "Hey cook coffee tastes like piss today doesn't it!"

wtfdidIjustsay

>> Cook says back to me "yeah it always does."

I did around senior year when I was a little more comfortable with myself and realized I wasn't gonna see half the fuckers there again.

It got me into a bunch of trouble sometimes, but it was totally better than being awkward about saying stupid shit. It happens, just own the mistake and roll with it.

oh god, I would do the same and would probably kill myself later

lmao

ahahah that was quality xD

Did she enjoy it?

Post or you will be struck first in WW3

Do it

I think he's dead now.

>Algebra class
>Teacher gives an example of some equations
>Lectures us for more than half an hour
>Doing problems while he's lecturing
>Understanding what to do and getting the problems correct
>Become confident
>Hands us a paper worth a few grades
>Autismo mode
>I start shaking and shivering and I'm full on braindead
>Look around
>People are staring at me and some ask if I'm ok
>I fucking forget how to do the problems as soon I get the paper
>Struggling to even do one question
>Teacher tells me what's wrong
>Don't respond and get up to turn in the paper
>He tells me that I haven't done one question and asks me why
>Said I forgot
>Everyone starts laughing
>Wind up getting terrible grades in that class
>I can't even remember something I just did 10 minutes ago
>Almost flunk because of retardation

JUST

Dubs vult!

Those are the stupidest tattoos ever. Wouldn't even attempt banging. Plus what slut knows how to use a psp

>ment to say "hey"
>comes out as "i FUCKNG hATE girls"
How would it ever come out like that?

people trying to be nice to you to make you feel better is a good thing, unless you're autistic

Kek, was there anything really fucked up on there.?

youre either 12 or mentally AND socially retarded

I think can't of anything but I'm sure I did a lot of autistic bullshit
I repressed my memories too well

...

Til all the cock suckers pretend you don't exist 2 weeks later.

SUMMERS HERE

>19, first year of college.
>Getting ready one morning, roommates ready first so they go to warm up the car.
>A minute later I go out to see their car coming out of the parking garage.
>I stand in their path but they stop 100 feet away. Throw my hands up like WTF.
>Run around to the passenger to get in the door.
>Door is locked, they speed off.
>Chase them out of the parking lot swearing them straight into hell.
>Was the wrong car.
To this day I still do not know who chased down the road that day.

Chubby and pale. thispleasesme.jpg

OMG I KEKED SO HARD

>Be me, 14 yo.
>A girl, friend of a female friend who I barely knew died.
>I was surprised, and wanted to remember that.
>I wrote her name and the date of her death under a shelf in my room that is over my bed.
>Months later, this friend came to home with her sister.
>Checked casually under the shelf and see the name of her death friend and the date. She knew that was my shelf.
>She told that to her sister, confused as fuck.
>Uncomfortable silence.
>I continued interacting, chill as fuck.

It pleased me at the time too tbh fam.

>Be me young autismo
>Girlfriend insults me jokingly
Autismpowersactivate.jpeg
>Screams "you're a joke"
>Whole class hears me
>Ripperoni

Huh?

IP printed

>me be
>probably from 3rd grade to 5th?>start being a hornpot sperg most of the time
>develope love for asses
>whenever I went to a friend's house would usually play truth or dare
>during truth or dare would somehow try to incept the idea to get my friends to sit on my face with their naked asses
Now be aware all my friends were male and I am straight, but I had my really tard moments
>somehow always achieve ass in face
>mostly because it was a good punishment so getting dared to touch their butt to your face shouldn't be hard
>at some point realize what I'm doing is not playing truth or dare
>always feel guilty especially with younger friends
>almost kissed one of my best friends butt cheeks
>could've sworn that friend knew something was wrong too
>don't play at that friend's house anymore
>friend moves away
I hope he doesn't tell anyone about that shit and as for the younger ones I hope they just don't remember

>Be me
>Second year of college
>Standing in line at coffee shop at campus
>cute girl behind me loudly says "hey sexy!"
>assume she's talking to someone else
>her friend approaches me and says "hey she thinks you're really cute"
>only reply was "oh"
>didn't sleep the night before
>hungry af
>halfway through my sandwich before I realized wtf I just did.

Lmao. That's not bad. I'd do that shit

kindergarten lol
>I put a rock in my ear in kindergarten
>I told my mom
>she didn't believe me at first
>could feel rattling in my head when I shook my head for three days
>finally we went to the doctor
>doctor says to my mom we have to do surgery and it'll leave your son deaf in that ear
>mom's like why don't you just flush it out with water?
>doctor's like great idea!
>they do it, rock comes out
>i get a hearing test
>all good
mfw stupid doctors almost fucking deafed me

lots and lots of lolis and traps

>In a private school because there is no way I would survive around normies
This made me kek.

made me lol

>Be 18
>Highschool grad
>Cruising around the countryside with bros
>Looking for shit to do
>Say something dumb
>Get roasted
>Try to say "I'll fuck you up"
>Try to say "Suck my dick, faggot"
>"I'll suck your dick, faggot!"
>Wut.avi

haha women aren't funny

That's great. She was obviously retarded so you dodged a bullet

free speech motherfucker
Im going to burn down a house tmrw!

>Be 15
>Teacher pick people to read the text book
>Chooses this girl who I was friends with instead of me
>Loudly scream "You Whore"
>She walks out of class crying
>Teacher says I need to apologize
> Later I apologized to her and she accepts, she thought someone else called her a whore
>After that her cousin who was in that class with us threatened to kill me
I know she accepted my apology but when I called her a whore in front of the class everyone thought I was a cunt.

faggot must be embarrassed

Why did you want to remember?

Lolwut the fuck is IP printed

idfk what am i wikileaks?

>be me, 8th grade
>se two of my classmates talking during a football game
>get close, nothing much was happening
>one of the spreads her legs
>see vag
>talking about shaving (lol I don't care)
>they notice me
>give me weird look, say nothing
>everyone walks away
>nothing is said

I still see her from time to time and she acts like she doesn't know me.

Trump detected

In my circles that would've passed as a normal insult. We're all fucking weirdos here in Northern-Europe.

I'll share mine
>be me about 12
>hangin out at godmoms house with bro and her son
>im wandering around while they play n64
>get the boner
>it is time
>go downstairs and go into godmoms room
>everyone else is upstairs
>common knowledge godmon is a nympho, huge tits, etc
>assume she has some kinky shit in her room
>look through drawers, find underwear, bra
>discover a book on sex positions
>this will have to do
>commence fap
>flip a few pages
>get idea
>take clothes off and put on godmoms bra and panties
>for some reason this makes mu dick diamonds
>continue to fap
>i can feel myself about to cum
>so close
>think of the dare song by gorillaz
>its comin up its comin up its comin up its dare
>right as i start to cum the door flies open
>godmom is standing in doorway
>watches me cum on the floor, wearing her bra and panties, while im staring at her, frozen
>awkward couple of seconds
>felt like ages went by
>she says nothing, turns around and closes the door
>im still frozen
>clean myself up, clean up floor spooge
>go back upstairs and join in on n64
>to my knowledge, godmom has never spoken a word of this to anyone, never brought it up to me
>feel awkward as fuck forever

To be fair, it wasn't that autistic as I say it regularly now.

>Me
>Parents are conservative christian
>Growing boy, but deprived of any means to release my sexual desires, ie no porn
>For some reason, I really liked the girl from the 'Lego agents' sets
>Also had a penchant for vore
>Decided to eat the Lego girl
>Couldn't just eat the thing whole, or I'd choke
>Broke it into individual pieces
DownTheHatch.mp3
>Began swallowing each piece one at a time while jerking myself
>Feels good man
>Finish gerkin' my jerkin about half way through my meal
>My brother would suspect what I'd done, so I Spergaciously swallowed the rest, almost dying in the process
Cont. ?

Every time someone bigger than me wants to fight I just say "drop your pants mother fucker I'll jerk you off right now with both hands!!" If that doesn't work I'll just say they hate gays (I'm straight)

Fake and samefag