Hey Sup Forumsros, need some advice

Hey Sup Forumsros, need some advice.
>be me
>for certain reasons, cannot get condoms from store or online
>How does one go about getting some rubber
>plz help I need secks

Idk, need answer. HELP

Fuckin fag OP

Once I saw a condom vending machine in the bathroom at a gas station

Work on your delivery. As a comedy premise, you're on the right track with condoms, but your execution is way off. I'm not saying you can't get better, but this is some pretty rough material.

Yo thanks thats a good idea

Whats sad is that I'm dead serious

I have a retarded brother with actual down's syndrome. He is smarter than you.

just have your partner buy them.

that's what OP's partner thought

Don't be silly you wouldn't be writing if you were dead

the only possible reason you couldn't buy condoms is if you're so young you have virtually zero money or freedom. not a chance you're 18, so shouldn't be here.

op is underage

>Can't work up the courage to buy condoms
>Can work up the courage to get laid
sure friendo

put them in your butt and walk out the front door

...

teens can get free condoms easily at birth control clinics.

Is your muslim father going to exile you if you get caught?

yes but he's either not even a teen, or doesn't even have enough freedom to get to one. most people don't have one within walking distance or friends with cars.

>birth control clinics
What? You mean those things that we used to have before the God & Guns party shut them all down?

They're fucking everywhere, dude.

maybe in your state

Underage scared fag

Then I guess it isn't a "God & Guns" issue, it's a your state being shit issue. I live in the bible belt and there is free birth control fucking everywhere.

I'm betting you're underage. You cant have them come to your house or your parenrs will see them. You won't go out and buy them because you're embarrassed. Get off of Sup Forums.