Minor crimes you never got caught for

minor crimes you never got caught for
ill go first
>get $150 worth of counterfeiting materials
>enough to make $100 worth of $1 bills
>never got caught and ive been exchanging them at fast food places for years

I jerked off in a park once late at night.

I thought it would be a thrill and i would cum extra or some shit, it wasn't that great.

Is Sup Forums related to strawberry clock?

I jerked off in class once during finals to this bitch in a low cut skin tight dress

Stole a pen from my bank three years ago.

>spend $150 to get fake $100
>not understanding return on investment

what do you mean?

He spent 150 to make 100
when he could've just used the 150 to save 50 dollars

If you really don't understand, let's talk business:

I will sell you right now all the materials you need to get 100 fake $1 bills for $150. Does this seem like a good idea to you?

You're a fucking retard.

>get
>implying he bought the materials

Stole roughly $200 with my bro from a store over time.
Not that big of a deal, if my parents had ever found out they would've beat the shit out of me, though.

yes, because they normally go for $165

If he did acquire them, he wouldn't have thrown the price of them

i sneak into my neighbours houses and raid their laundry for their little girls dirty panties

i do this every month and i dont hit the same house more than once a year

calling the cops

damn, was it a rush?

well played, user

well played

And if he purchased them he would have said that too

>admit to crimes
>isp can leak info to anyone
You guys are smart

>I've shoplifted several times
>defaced British currency
>fished several times without a license

I changed one of those electronic highway traffic signs to say "Lick my ballsack" about an hour before rush hour started. They didn't fix it until the afternoon.

Cool, can you send me some?

Had sex in a park at night. Cop passed by just earlier and put his lights on us. We thought he'd come around again and the sex was intense. Had to cover her mouth so she wouldnt scream

But... You still are spending more money on those materials than the fake money you get in return?

pls no

made $1500 on youtube monetizing copyrighted content

if he STOLE them he would have said so

plus, what kind of retarded crime is to steal materials to counterfeit a mere $100 that is probably going to take more time and effort than actually WORKING for that amount?

Kek, proof?

I have defaced currency before

>"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood"
>"Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact"

i've posted 3 fake stories in this thread already

No proof, but if you wanna give it a try it's pretty easy to do. The door to the controls are usually unlocked and there are manuals inside of them. Mine even had the passcode written in sharpie on the inside of the door.

I've jaywalked hundreds of times with no negative consequences.

You have 12 neighbors that have got young girls

pics.....

this i believe

Guys, I.

I ripped the tag off of a mattress.

Without purchasing the mattress.

I now have to live with the eternal shame.

You sick fuck

Used to make buildings' foundations unstable using thermite. Just enough for the city to come by and condemn the building. Never burned them down all the way.

This is too much, why haven't you been punished yet?

LOCK HIM UP

>Stole 50 bucks at the store I worked at.
>Never really came out.
>Got fired half a year later anyway cause they were cutting staff.

>steal yo-yo from store
>broken after 10 mintes

Way to minor of a crime for this thread.

Used to sell fake acid to kids in high school. I wouldn't sell them a dangerous drug or anything like that, I would just get the blank sheets of paper with the pictures and perforations on them off amazon and shit like that for pennies, then sell 100 tabs a sheet at $5-10 per tab. Most of the time you can only sell to someone once for obvious reasons but I had a few stupid kids who kept coming back, I feel kinda bad about it

FBI here.
prepare to rot in jail you scum.

kekked and chekked

>be me
>steal packet of gum

i still dont feel bad for it, but i dont do that shit any more.

painting graffiti

Really? Shit. Gotta step up my game. I once had sex in the missionary position. For the sole purpose of procreation.

>stole a few straws from a local wendy's
[spoiler] dubs xd [/spoiler]

I put 5 donuts in my bag
>use self checkout
>only pay for one

Been doing this for years, once took about a dozen and paid for two
>I only ate one

I used XD and failed spoiler tags on Sup Forums. I'm going to go turn myself in now.

Damn, you smart.

Pics of panties !

Hit some guys and a chick with a bat in the face and ribs in the middle of a gas station parking lot when i was younger,
they were trying to take my area i ran for smokes to sell at the schools.

I usually make off with around 4-5 grand working as a Salvation Army bell ringer.

The lock on the kettle is a fucking joke. It's not even a lock. You can use a screwdriver to turn it. On my way to drop off the kettle, I'll take a couple handfuls of change and a few of the bigger bills. You'd be surprised how many people drop 50's and 100's in those bastards.

The guy who trained me in taught me all this. He said don't worry about getting caught, they expect you to steal. The people that you turn the kettle in to? They're taking a cut too. Everyone's fucking taking a piece.

Hi fatman

Nice

Eh. It's possible he didn't pay. Statement and usage is ambiguous.

Stole the Declaration of Independence

Spent $150 to make $100. Sound investment my friend. BTW I have some land in Syria I'd like to sell you.

>snuck into sorority house
>stole sofa cushions
>stole big paper mache pineapple tree
>pissed in pair of sneakers left near one room
>never found out

stole from many shops, mostly little stuff, was caught the last time but nothing came of it because it was "the first time" and decided to stop doing it for a while, caused a divorce by reading tarot cards (not exactly a crime but i guess it counts), cheated on a specialized test for college

Go away, Cage.

Works with produce too. Just use a cheaper price/lb item code than you're actually buying.
I am the grape bandit.

Stole a pack of condoms when I was 15 just to know how it would feel to have one on. Had to wear it for like 2 hours before I coult take it off, when one of my sisters almost caught me wearing it.

Did a lot of graffiti graff life and stole some beer

burglury, stole as much alcohol as we could fit in a car. Sold it to friends and family.

nice, well done
too bad you can only skin a cat once

Stealing towels from a hotel I was staying at.

List so long I don't know where to start
>fucked up countless property of public/private
>driving without license many time since I was 14
>driving drunk without license when I was 16
>not reporting very serious crimes that I knew of to the authorities
>selling green and paper
>not paying any import taxes nor taxes on international orders summing up to a 10k usd
>beaten up a security guy with the lads

These are the ones I could think of right now, but there are a lot more things I have done tho

bad trigger discipline.
they are going to shoot each other in the feet.

>u got troled

Stole a bunch of metal poles from furniture and hardware stores to add to my arsenal of wacking sticks.

I rubbed a 14ish year old girls pussy on a packed train.
Think it's minor because it was over her clothes

That's pretty sad of you.

you sound like a nigger

I am actually very white.

wait wait wait
you paid 150 dollars to eventually spend 100 free dollars (assuming the cost of materials is included in the 150) for what purpose? To learn? Reminds me of bitcoin.
This is a net loss of 50 dollars, no?

...so you illegally took a met loss of $50?

Criminal fucking mastermind, you are.

>precognitive dubs
I'll give it to you.

I've been writing graffiti for a few years, that's about it

I see 3/4 with decent discipline.
>shotty
>fuddy five
>akimbo gangster


ak boi might be holding just the pistol grips. Could be 4/4. Your joke was shit.

I work in a rail yard and snap pictures of the best ones

stole 50 hotwheels over the span of a year from walmart

150$ =/ 100$ , whats the point?

>be me, 15 yo
>me and friend went fishing
>found a new spot further away from town, hard to get to
>catching a few pretty good sized trout
>go to take a leak
>taking leak
>notice something
>we're surrounded by pot plants
>very thick, it's a fucking grow operation
>abandon fishing
>grabbed as many buds as we could, still a shitload left, won't be missed
>high af for the rest of the summer
>kept going back, sold some
>made a couple grand

wasn't a joke it was honest.
the safety is off and all the guns are pointed towards feet and legs.
in addition, their fingers are on the trigger while the safety is offf.


If is bad trigger discipline.

Back in the day when Sup Forums always had fake coupon threads I used a few to score some free magic the gathering packs

Literally my dream

How much?

This explains a lot about you. Also why I never donate to the salvation army in those buckets.

>ISP would really report petty crimes

I miss the jewpon threads. Too bad almost every store caught on. They still a thing?

2006. A friend of mine had a friend who drove electronic from warehouse to suppliers. He would stop in his route and sell extra cartons of electronics to about 5 of us. This included tv recording equipment, iPods and iPads and whole load of other standard tech. I'd buy £500 of iPods (usually about 30 units depending on how many he had) I would then use them as currency for drugs. I'd get 2 grams of molly for 1 iPod. An ounce of bud for an iPad. I also managed to sell 15 limited edition iPods to a local electronics supplier for £50 a unit. This went on for about 5 years

When I was a kid I would shoplifting Legos

Nah I haven't seen one in years sadly

Lived innawoods for 3 years. Poached deer, elk, and rabbits.

stole my stephmothers creditcard and used it on world of warcraft, gave the info to my friends too

>admitting to anything. ever.