The governors of the New York and Moscow Disneylands argued, whose fear room is scarier...

The governors of the New York and Moscow Disneylands argued, whose fear room is scarier. Then the manager of Moscow entered their room: skeletons of all kinds, ghosts - in general, nothing of interest.
The American now comes to us, sees: a long dark corridor, and at the very end of the Georgian squats, he holds a burning candle in his hand.
Georgian:
"Did you wash your ass?"
- Washed.
The Georgian silently extinguishes the candle ...

Sounds like story from Arkhipelag GULAG

bump

bump

bump fore funny Russian joke pls

Stalin left to Khrushchev three envelopes and tell him to open them if the country was on the verge of a crisis. A few years later, the first crisis happens. Khrushchev opens the envelope and reads:
"Blame me for everything. Koba."
After a while, the second crisis happens, Khrushchev opens the second envelope and reads:
" Again, throw everything at me. Koba. "
The third crisis. Khrushchev reads:
" Prepare three envelopes. "

Putin learned how to raise the economy through the ass, sat down on the Crimea and died.

bump

— Mom, I'm going home, to you want me to buy anything?
— Buy an apartment and live on your own, faggot

too real

Two Ukrainians are riding the train, chatting with each other and discussing various philosophical questions.
Suddenly, a big fly lands on the window and leaves a tiny dot on the glass after itself. One Ukrainian says:
- Look, Mykola, how this beast of the fly left after itself such a tiny dot!
- This is nothing. I bet that I can shit on your nose so little and so accurately that you wouldn't even feel anything.
So, they made a bet. One Ukrainian sits on his knees and closes his eyes, and the other places his ass right above him. He proceeds to make an enormous dump right on his face. He is covered in shit.
The other Ukrainian:
- Sorry, I lost))))

what the fuck i love russia now

Go on

A man bought a hat and it was just right

My fav

...

Man rides the train. He sees the guy taking a banana, salting it and throwing it out of the window. Then taking the next banana, doing the same.
Man doesn't understand anything. When the guy takes another banana, salts it and throws it out of the window, he decided to ask him:
- I am sorry, but what are you doing? Why you are taking bananas, salting them and throwing them out?
-You know, I just really don't like salty bananas.

Tell them about propeller.

*tells a russian child that gay people exist*

A brother is having sex with his sister
-Oww brother, you fuck so much better than dad!
-I know, mom also told me the same

A man walks into a bar and his hat fits just right.

An Ukrainian and a black man go somewhere by plane
Some time passes, the black man takes bananas out of his bag to eat them
Ukrainian says
-Hey, what is this? Lemme taste it!
-Oh, okay
Ukrainian lad east all of his bananas
The black man takes some pineapples out of his bag, everything repeats: Ukrainian ate everything
Some time passes again, Ukrainian sees that the black guy ran out of food and takes his salo out of his bag
The black guy says
-Hey, what is this? Can I taste it?
Ukrainian says
-Nah, dude. We call it salo, nothing special, really

Chukcha got a free flat from the government. He invited guests. Guests see an igloo in the middle of the living room, Chukcha invites them inside, they eat and have fun. One guest asks:
— Where is the toilet?
— Just outside the igloo.

Russian, Ukrainian and American end up in hell. The Devil says:
- I will give you a chance. You have a choice: to give me an 100 dollars, to eat 1 kg of salt or to let me fuck you in the ass.
Amerikan takes 100 dollars from his pocket, gives it to the devil and leaves.
Russian is thinking: "Well, I have no money and don't want to let him fuck my ass. I will try salt". So, he decides to eat salt. After a couple of hours, he eats all the salt and leaves.
Ukrainian desided to eat salt as well. He eats, cries, and gives up on the half of 1 kg of salt. Takes down his pants and turns his ass to the devil. He fucks him for some time, but Ukrainian can't take it anymore, takes 100 dollars from his pocket, gives it to the devil and leaves.

wow

haha

...

The second letter must be sth like "tell them that it will take at least 10 years to make some progress", you stupid Khokhole.
T. Heard a similar joke about managers

Haшёл мyжик пoдкoвy. Boзьмy eё, дyмaeт, дoмoй, пoвeшy нa двepь, oнa мнe cчacтьe пpинeceт. Пepeвopaчивaeт ee, a т

The man finds a horseshoe. He thinks:"I will take it home and hang it up the door. It would be the sign of good luck!'. He turns the horseshoe over, and there is a horse on the other side.

Man walks in the forest, sees a tree stump and decides to take a break. He sits on the stump and takes a big, juisy apple from his bag. Suddenly, a gigantic hairy ass appears out of nowhere, takes an apple with its anus and disappears. Man is in shock. He asks loudly:
- What the fuck was that?
The ass appears again and says:
- Red Delicious
And disappears.

I dont understand

Type of apple.

...

One man was traveling in Africa. He found a wounded elephant with the spear sticking out his leg. He took the spear out and took care of the wound, and then he and the elephant parted ways.
Many years later this man was in Moscow circus, and there were elephants as well. Suddenly, one elephant, ignoring his trainer's commands, left the circus arena, walked up to this man, hugged him with his trunk and threw him on the floor head down with all of elephant force. It was the other elephant.

...