Why do Americans masturbate with hand lotion and jizz into paper tissues???

Why do Americans masturbate with hand lotion and jizz into paper tissues???
Why go through all that hassle just to end up with mountains of sticky paper?
I'm genuinely curious, because i always just jizz into my mattress and I'm done with it

Because they've been robbed of their foreskin

I use lotion cause I'm pretty tightly cut. I don't use tissues desu, I just swallow my own load.

>No foreskin

>yfw circumcision is just a jewish invention so people spend more on tissues and lotion

It's funny because it's true

>he doesn't just raw dog it and blow into his underwear

>swallow my own load.
>raw dog it and blow into his underwear

>the absolute STATE of Americans

I don't and I just jizz into the toilet

>not into his pantsu

but goy it will raise your birth rate!

I also do this
Mostly at my desk at work

honestly mental how yanks are circumcised and think it's normal

...

Dem same numbers

Do people ACTUALLY use lubrication for masturbation?

I don't use lotion or any of that crap because I'm not a joo

I use tissue because it's fucking nasty to touch your cum, you wouldn't blow your nose into your hand

yes, real men uses motor oil like a champ

I like to fold a bunch of super soft kleenex and wrap it around my cock, stroke, then just blow into the tissue. The cotton feels nice.

Perfect fit indeed, america is truly the home of brown spic man

I just get a sock out of my dirty clothes hamper, unload into it, then throw it back in. Shit mostly comes out in the wash. I only have one sock with a noticeable jizz stain on it but luckily as a true blooded American my shoes never come off.

I don't get the meme either, I'm cut and never had to use lotion or lube.

>he doesnt use the tears of his parents

>cum onto your mattress
>not having a trained cum doge that licks your cum every time
i'm dissapoint chapinbro

I'm circumcised but still fap dry, then blow my load in the hand and wash it afterwards.

>circumcised Russian

Did they rape you in boot camp during your conscription when they found out you were like pig dog American?

...

my dog doen't ever come into the house
we have a cat for that

>this thread

I had phimosis or something like that.

>jizzing into an actual article of clothing
i never understood the cumrag / jizz sock meme eiter, why use a non-disposable item to cum into? ever?

Where did you get the idea that that's how everyone in the country jerks off?

what is wrong with central americans?

i have a huge foreskin so when im about to cum i pull it up and block the jizzing and pinch it so it stays closed its lit

because every meme and rage comic about masturbation has a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues in it.
on TV too

I really, really hope you don't do this

Same I just get a rubber band to tie it up until I got to the bathroom

how to get dick cheese: the post

>nobody in here has a fleshlight/pocket pussy attached to a powerdrill that's attached to a stand under their desks so it automatically jerks you off

Amateurs.

We can afford laundry in America. Also a good sock has a pleasing texture and warmth to it

>put tissue on my cock
>fap
>cum
/thread

sometimes I look at a thread and wish I was never born, this is one of those threads

sometimes I need more then one cause strong cumshot

This is the best thread I've seen here in months

>tfw phimosis
>tfw will never have sex

...

a pic would be nice

can you recommend something ?

How do you wank if you have no foreskin?

I pull my foreskin back and forth to wank, how would you do it without?

Start pulling your foreskin back you mong.

Why does everyone on Sup Forums have phimosis?

rub the glans, silly

go to a doctor and cut it

it doesn't mean you will have sex, but at least your dick will be ready

>tfw doctor's assistant was the only women that have touched my dick

You actually don't need lube to be able to masturbate even if you're cut

t. cut

I don't understand why Americans need lube to be able to fap?

Because they're disgusting fat bodies who never shower.
It's pathetic really

>feel like masturbating
>grab dick and masturbate
>cum in foreskin balloon
>go to the toilet
>dump the load and wipe down dick
>wash dick in bathroom
It's so easy and convenient, whenever you feel like it you can just rub one out.

...

There is still skin on your dick, just less.

was she pretty?

It comes out in the wash

It Would be shorter to say what isn't wrong.

I don't use lube but I do use tissues desu, it's pretty easy to cleanup

We don't. It's a meme.

who here /can't fap in the shower/
i don't know what it is, but it takes me fucking ages to cum when i try to jerk it in the shower.
like i can turbo-wank while dry and cum in less than 45 seconds, but i've never had a sub-7min jizz time in the shower.

why is this?

>not masturbating right before taking a shower so you can cum on yourself and simply wash it away

Do cut people really have a hard time fapping without lotion?

no

I tried. It's looser but still tight

Nah I saw a doctor and said no to a circumcision.
I'm never having sex anyway so what's the point?

Wrong, I'm not remotely fat and wash every day

In my case I think it's to do with the fact that I pulled down my foreskin too far when I was younger, and it became tight as a response

Ironically, it's so in USA is because of a hardcore Christian who hated Jews.

Same. Water is a shitty lubricant.

no, it's a meme

Enjoy have a cum filled drainage.

* common in USA

I think it's due to the heat

>fapping for literal minutes/seconds

wheres the joy in that
I usually edge for at least 45 minutes

having*

probably cause you're not looking at porn

For a 30 something yes, but can't really remember how she looked like because I was scared and didn't want to look into her eyes while lying on a bed with my pants off. She was trying to cheer me up by making fun f.e asking why do we call benis "a bird".

Then it was a shitty doctor. I went to a good specialist and he said there are tiny damages on my foreskin and it will be worse in the future. He gave me a choice.

I can do it for hours sometimes.

>Then it was a shitty doctor. I went to a good specialist and he said there are tiny damages on my foreskin and it will be worse in the future. He gave me a choice.

I meant that I refused to have a circumcision. Would rather die a virgin

Not my problem, the house is rented and I'm moving out soon.

The landowner didn't fix the moisture problem so I won't care.

My own record is 2 hours.

What?
That would be like wanting to get drunk but just drinking one drop of beer at a time

Not really, as not only do you feel good when edging but once you reach the point where you can't edge any longer and you climax, holy fuck you'll experience the most intense orgasm in your life. I almost passed out when I edged for 2 hours. It was fucking amazing.

jesus christ doesnt your arm get tired

...

I dislocated my shoulder once while masturbating, i told the doctors i fell from the stairs and they believed me

what the fuck am i reading

Actually you get phimosis, if you don't stretch your foreskin enough. It means you have no sex and should have more.

it's true
ahegao is no meme if you do it right
once time I literally ended up staring at ceiling for a minute after edging for like 2 hours
best fap ever
dick gets super sensitive, you you only need to rub it a little, you don't furiously whack it for 2 hours straight

Just imagine the former owner of your next appartment did the same. You have drainage full of old cum everywhere.

>they believed me
They knew, they just didn't want to embarrass you.

I let my dog lick it, I don't know how I'd do without him

just flush it with some drain cleaner once in a while

I started eating my cum as of lately.
Easiest solution.
Blow a wad on your palm, a quick slurp and you're good to go.

what do people think of your cum-breath?

>been doing this for ages
>can't have a wank in less than hour or so now

Fap into a really soft sock and your dick will feel amazing.

that reminds me of the guy who found his dedicated cum sock after a while with mushrooms growing out of it

>She was trying to cheer me up by making fun f.e asking why do we call benis "a bird".
that...
that's kinda hot

what? if i edge for more than half an hour or so dick just gets numb and i cum a lot but the orgasm is weak

>but the orgasm is weak
You're supposed to build up the hype for the orgasm
If you're just sitting wanking off and getting bored then no fucking wonder you'll have a weak orgasm

you don't know what you're talking about