I need help flirting with her. Willing to try almost anything

I need help flirting with her. Willing to try almost anything.

I'm free this week. Wanna go out or something?

"whus poppin b? i hear u like it in the ass"

i want to eat a peanut from your anus

Looks like you have to post what you wrote yourself, OP.

"lemme smash plz"

Do your feet hurt? Cause you've been running through my mind all day

"Hey"

Hey gorgeous wyd? Let's go roller skating and you can fuck my friends while I cry

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Ask her if she wants to get blissed out on smack

Do you do drugs? Does she do drugs? Ask to hang out and smoke weed/listen to music if you do. Weed and alcohol really lower the social barrier, and since it's around spring break time, now is the perfect chance.

Stfu all of you

"How about I come over to your place and give you the ol' lickaroo.

I sent what you said
She hasnnt replied yet

WHY

BRO

Screenshot or full of shit

Also

Both my Dubs and trips demand it.

Send that shit.

confide in her your secret medical condition of having an enormous penis that frightens any woman who sees it. get her sympathy and support. then fuck her. by the time she finds out you have a tiny dick it will be too late

Lol, ok so i got her number but i forgot to tell her who it was first so fml.

if dubs you ask for a pic of her asshole

>EJ
>you never had a chance at fucking her with a name like that

Send her a box of chocolates.
Only, instead of chocolate, there are pickled dead hamsters.
trust me, she'll love it.

Whats a good initiator or anything?

Now what?

OP, Is she a nigger?
if dubs tell her "Uga uga buga gå back to africa"

that stuff about if your feet hurt was a good one m8, you kept her atention there, continue fishing white boy, dont let her go

checked

Ask her if she's an Archaeologist, because you've got a bone to show her

Cut the bullshit. If you really want her, go straight in. "You free today? I really wanna see (INSERT MOVIE HERE)." Something along those lines.

kek

If only I could follow this

Im not sure what her ethnicity is.
She's kinda brown though.

For the love of fuck don't ask her to go on a cruise.
They're not falling for that one again.

I cant this weekend, but ill aske her about next tuesday.

Then why waste time texting her? Why didn't you make your advance on a day that you were free? Now you have to keep a bullshit conversation going until then. Fuck sake, nigger. You can barely come up with shit to say on your own. Good luck recovering.

wew lad, she's not interested. You got an uphill battle ahead

>she texts him twice in a row
>hey lol haha was that serious??

sounds decently interested

this

You're too optimistic. She'll screenshot it and send it to her friends groupchat if this kid is not popular, which it doesn't sound like it. RIP in peps EJ.

she seems pretty interested tbh mate

this is a really good idea if you know that she is into that kinda thing

yeah just ask her out to movies or to smoke weed