In about 2 hours I'm going to lose my virginity, what do I need to buy/do before then

In about 2 hours I'm going to lose my virginity, what do I need to buy/do before then.
Pic Unrelated.

condom

dont over excite yourself cause thats how you bust in 60 seconds

Prepare to be very disappointed. You'll be buzzed for about a day or two afterwards, and then you'll feel all lovey-dovey towards the girl you fucked. Nothing major OP, don't get yourself too excited.

Shower and groom. Wear clean clothes. Buy mdma and viagra, maybe some cocaine.

buy flamethrower for later

Escort?

don't be on Sup Forums

If you lose your virginity on molly you'll probably kill yourself when it's over.

/thread

You ought to be ashamed of yourself

>MDMA & cocaine
Do this and you won't be able to get it up.

Yes

Care to elaborate?

videotape it and post results here

For that phone case you have there

Sure, expect a later thread 2nite

I'm sorry?

What's she look like?
In 2 hours?

Just dress nice and don't smell awful.

fuck that, if a girl wants you to use a condom she should pay for it.

masturbate, trust me, you'll last longer.

More like 3, depends if I can tape

Slather dick in bacon grease for three hours beforehand. No need to let her vagina lubricate so you can forcefully penetrate at will.

Imagine the combined smell of all the people in this thread.

You have a picture of her?

Buy condoms, and squeeze the end of it while you put it on (it's pretty simple).
Get her off first through fingering / oral. Sometimes getting overexcited your first time makes you nut so quick.
Plan something to do after for shits and giglles if you want. Have a blast, OP! Don't be a faggot! :-)

OP here, what do I do to get her wet? Not finna mac on an escort's privates

Buy condoms, that's it. Oh yeah, and wash yourself obviously before the act. She's not gonna to do anything with a smelly disgusting dick.
And don't think to much about it, no matter how you picture it, it'll be very different, I can assure that.

she probably wont really get wet if shes an escort. You're nothing to her.

:^< what do I do then?

buy some lube, oh and something that you defffo need to remember is to not post bullshit bait on Sup Forums.

stop being a fucking pussy about eating out an escort? no wonder thats how you have to lose it

lern2foreplay or just use lube m8

What do you mean? Just fucking wait nigger, OP WILL DELIVER.

>:^< what do I do then?
> not post bullshit bait on Sup Forums.

Yep, this. Unless you post a pic then we'll believe you.

>in about 2 hours
Can you read?

So you don't have a picture? It's like a surprise escort?

Yes? Is it better if I go to a whore house instead?

so you think OP can prove his claim by posting an escorts picture, which all of them post all over to advertise?

I didn't know, I thought you were hiring from Backpage. Where do you live?
And yeah I guess it's better. What you see is what you get.

why are you defending obvious bait. He used a fucking smiley.

because what you're asking is prolonging this stupidity

:D
:)
:(

8===D suck it

That's what the viagra is for dumbass. A little thing like whiskey dick is no match for modern pharmaceuticals.

it hurts

lol everyone thinks you're a prick.

Shower
Jerk off
And then never call her again

>complains about smilies
>uses 'lol'

Have a piss, then wash your dick. Cannot overstate the importance of not needing a wee during intercourse, ruins everything.

Jerk off as many times as you can before

I just left the navy and I'm visiting Mexico for a couple days to get my dick wet, right now I'm in nogales, right next to the border.

Nevermind it's an escort
Just fuck her till you nut throw the money at her and tell her to leave.

Well post that video and scream Make America Great Again as soon as you cum.

Talk dirty to her, the girls are very sensitive hearing such thing, touch and licl other sensitive parts like neck, breast and nipples, anus or almost every girl body and remember to start slow and when she gets hotter start doing it more quickly

he meant it was obvious bait. Are you fucking slow or something?

asking for a random escort's picture to indicate it's not bait is fucking stupid

I guess thats something you both have in common then.

Ok so here's the full story, I took a taxi to my hotel and the driver said info was interested in having some fun tonight, I knew what he meant and I agreed. He said he had this beautiful 18 year old girl all ready and I told him to send her to my room. He didn't have pics of her but she'll be here in less than an hour, I've bought condoms, lube and Viagra. What now?

Wait, you don't know her?

>What now?

>Viagra

Jesus, m8. How old are you?

Stooping to an escort is fucking disgusting

You should have tried to have this with an actual girlfriend. This is desperate as hell and just running from these insecurities you have on not being able to get a GF you can do this with.


Pro tip. Sex with a GF is 1000000x better than an escort. With an escort she's just a body you're paying to fuck. With a GF, you are so attracted to her that you want to be with her forever. Attracted to her in ways so beyond just her body.

Just stop fucking around "literally" and get a gf.

learn to read idiot.

OP this sounds like a scam, are you in spain or something? Its likely they will harrass you for extra money and stuff.

23

wew not everyone can find that special someone you egotistical slut chad. get off your high horse.

In mexico

Too fucking young for viagra.
>What now?

Wait and fuck her,viagra or not. Then see a doctor because you're too young for that shit.

hahaha OP gonna get robbed and maybe shot

you sound underage.

Si, soy de españa y mi inglés no es muy bueno

do they know what room you are in? If so, switch rooms immediately.

Bobbeh, you listen here you better not waste your first time on a goddam hwore.