What's bothering you tonight, Sup Forums?

What's bothering you tonight, Sup Forums?

i made an appointment to see a GP on tuesday night, i think im depressed and it seems to be becoming worst.

im worry about what will happen

are you self medicating in any way? is your appointment strictly for depression?

no medication. yea just for that... i told my ex gf i would see a gp for it... that was 3 years ago

Well my printer is fucking up and I need to scan like 200 pages more. I think I will end up accidently dropping it off from the 19th floor balcony which is on the room to my right.

...

The fact that it's 10am Sunday morning

Yeah I might accidently mag dump my printer-scanner. Sorry I called it a printer. its one of those combo ones.

you did the right thing. printers are evil.

work due wednesday

i got a dui. losing everything soon

what type of gun takes this clip?

Postherpetic Neuralgia

I'm just tired of myself. Why I'm dealing with all this social anxiety, why I'm even trying to earn money through a boring office job, my fear to do everything out of the ordinary, thinking all the time of suicide just because I like the negative feelings. But this addicting depression could have suicide as an OD. Well let my put my happy mask on again and act like it's all ok. Jeeeeeee

The fact that she says that she loves me, i know for sure that she doesn't.
We fuck and shit but i just want to be loved, i'm sick of being a fucktoy
What does it feel to be loved Sup Forums?

>clip

Me my boyfriend and my friend are all in a gc on skype. My boyfriend some what likes my friend and has known her longer. They dated literally a day but he got friendzoned.
>Shows pictures that they took together on skype

what ever just a friendly picture

>Friend says "omg next time we take pics we should kiss"

wat

>"omg forreal :)"
>"yeah haha"
>"ok"

Fucking pissed me off to the extreme and its still bothering me. Am i over reacting?

Felt this way a couple days, ago actually. You're probably young like me. Bitches suck, man. Trying listening to Mask Off a couple times until the pain goes away.

move on dude.

>clip

ITS CALLED A FUCKING MAGAZINE YOU FUCKING NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Nope. Or maybe they meant like cheek-kisses?

I mean, you've seen the movies. They're bound to fall in love again.

I knew they ment cheek kisses but it made me mad how his voice lit up and how she was so fine with it when she "definitaly" doesnt like him

sorry,
is this a magazine for a ghost gun?
i think i saw it on cnn one day

21yo
We'll make it bro, one day.

My cunt wife has 150k in student loans so I'm stuck paying over a grand a month for the next decade for it. I resent her for it.

Pretty sure its for an AR AR-15

I mean, I don't think I really will. I honestly don't see myself ever falling in love, or getting married. I'm extremely self-destructive. But I'll still fuck the desperate ones because it fuels the ego.

why do you have to pay for it, can't you just leave her and she can deal with it

I'm a programmer, I have no job.

I think it just proves my hypothesis that guys become 10x more desirable when they are in a relationship.

Take it from a guy who cannot keep side chicks and has fucked up on more than 2 occasions.

I recently got a 6 figure job and have no debt of my own. But I still feel poor because she took a shitton of loans to pay full price for a shitty master's degree from a private school. It wouldn't be so bad if she was at least grateful.

Is she a gold digger ?

I knocked her up. I'm not smart.

you'd think with a masters degree she could pay for own shit.

Holy KEK

ahh, im sorry bro.

Tits or GTFO.

Twat.

She grew up spoiled. Doesn't understand that how she grew up isn't realistic and that her parents gave her fucking wrong views on the world.

Her idiot mother encouraged her to maintain "income adjusted payments" on the loans as long as possible. So the amount kept going up.

Thanks. Just ranting here.

feelings of inadequacy

you. kill yourself

She works, but makes around 65k. She never even thought about the reality of how she'd pay off $140k in high interest loans.

Shit, please tell me why. I'm majoring in CS and I think coding small shit is kind of cool and I love using computers but idk idk idk

How about you kys for not knowing how to FUCKING REPLY TO THE POST U FUCKING AUTIST

Feels shitty. Like she questions me on spending $100 on home improvement, but drops $300 without a thought. With over 150k in household income in a low COL area I somehow feel poor, and it's her fault.

I don't have any food

A lot of people call themselves programmers when really they're shitty web people that put up WordPress sites.

It has occurred to me that if she died, I'd be really well off financially, happier because I don't love her, and bonus everyone would feel sorry for me. And admire me for moving on with life.

clinically depressed because of the acne meds im taking bc of the bad acne caused by my overweight body but too scared/stressed/afraid to go for therapy. and also an lgbtqia living in a family of active homophobes.

I'm fat.
I'm broke cause I spent more than I should have for something I can't legally do yet.
Sad for what seems like no reason.
My real friends live too far away to hang.

I think about jumping off my barracks daily.

Maybe they're not homophobes, but just don't like you and coincidentally you're a homo.

totaly gets you user. inertia keeps me alive, somehow.

Hmm.
My CS department is always telling the students "Don't worry, you'll totally all get jobs, at least 90 percent of you".
Shit just sounds too good to be true. Like, fucking where?

I had this program due today and I totally bailed on it. I can't allocate memory for shit, especially not for text file characters.

I'm procrastinating doing my finals, I know I can do it, but I feel like I have to get an A. If i try hard and get it done early, then I have no excuse to why it wasn't perfect. I really just need to get started and focus on one thing at a time and not worry so much about that 96% getting turned into the dreaded 89%

wow thanks!

So (1) you call yourself LGBTQ, (2) you're obese, (3) bad acne, (4) depressed so not fun to be around.

Maybe work on fixing one of those and the rest will fix themselves.

bro. why u have to spent more than u have? whats ur job

You'll be fine. I'm in my second semester and I ended my first with a 2.80 GPA. I mean, I'm not doing so hot this one either but hey I'm still breathing and that's fucking awesome.

>Barracks
>Fat
>I can't legally do yet.

Too many questions bro.

Same , got finals tomorrow

Don't bail on assignments. Learn the shit they teach, get good at coding, be personable, and you will be able to get a decent job. You will most likely have to relocate so don't get tied down.

Early 30s code monkey here making 6 figures in the US.

Army, so E3 pay.
Bought some riding gear, but I don't have my endorsement yet.
Very much debating on riding anyway.

Pretty much see above.
I look normal in clothes, but I'm actually rather fat. 6'2" 220lbs

Same thing that's been bothering me for the past half a decade. I'm a fuck up who's depressed and doing literally nothing with his life.

>just fix it
Sure, in theory. In practice, the symptoms of depression make it significantly more difficult to even WANT to.

>just end it
I've tried since I was in third grade. At this point in time, I don't trust myself to not fuck up anything short of a shotgun. If you'd like to donate one, I'd be more than happy to do that. Until I hate my life enough to cut through the same apathy that keeps me in my room and not doing anything positive with my life and go get a shotgun, though, it's unlikely.

Thanks. I'm ending my second semester kind of rough here. How was your first year?

I don't think you should kill yourself.

That said if you've really tried since 3rd grade you either haven't seriously tried or you're wildly inept.

I don't know. I'm just some idiot on the internet, but have you tried talking to your doctor about this and getting pills?

Or do they not work?

What do you think of all the talk about treating depression with psychoactive drugs like MDMA and DMT? Have you tried that?

Yo man, I know your struggle. I went through that shit, and am still dealing with some of it. It'll clear up man, doesn't matter if you got shit leadership or what have you.

It was complicated. I actually wasn't ready for college and I flunked out and floated around a while. Then I went back, crushed it, got grad degrees, and a solid job. I wasted a lot of years not doing it right the first time. I was lazy.

If I were to give one piece of unsolicited advice, it'd be to just always do all your work, on time. The rest will work itself out.

Leadership isn't too bad.
Basically non existent really.
I don't have a TS, which where I'm at I need to do my job, so I'm basically on call and sit in my room all day.
I do pt, and work out a little extra here and there, but idk, shit just sucks more than it should.

Thanks a lot for this. I don't have a lot of people I can talk to about this shit.

Tell me this, how easy/hard is it to get a good programming job to work at from home? That's kind of always been my dream.

I don't think I'm bad that bad at socializing, I mean I'm no virgin.... but I honestly love solitude.

To be honest, that's really all you can do. It could be worse, you could be sucking dicks out in the middle of nowhere lousiana. Shitty that you don't have your clearance though, you waiting to hear back on it, or maybe you can hit up your CC and see about reclassing.

I'm lonely and love my best friends gf, what do I do Sup Forums?

Realistically I'm too squeamish to cut, and too worried I'd end up in a coma, unable to do anything but perceive, for the rest.
That thought seriously fucks me up.

I am probably significantly inept, though. Some would call that a blessing, I just wish I knew how to actually tie a noose and a strong knot back then.
Meh. Such is life.

Tried SSRIs and mood stabilizers in high school. The problem with all that is that it's based on self report, and as is, I just leave myself to my whims while attempting to distract myself from reality as much as I can until I eventually fall asleep. I'm an unreliable source for my own mood, because the only way I can keep myself stable and not stuck in bed not eating is by keeping as close to 100% uptime of NOT thinking about myself.

I'm currently back on Adderall to see if it still helps me focus, but I have no fucking clue how to measure that without risking getting so depressed that I can't get out of bed.

No. Haven't tried Psychotropic drugs, but given how my brain always ends up in depression if I'm not constantly focusing my thoughts into whatever my whims decide, and I end up hating life and myself and being trapped in bed, I don't think that'd be a good idea.

Don't fuck your friend over, be a good friend to both of them and when they eventually fuck up and the relationship crashes you swoop in like batman and nab that bitch

You can get a work from home job. It kind of varies by the particular job. If you prioritize it you can make it happen.

It's easier to do if you put in some time at a regular 9-5 for a while to build credibility. Pretty much nobody is going to hire a fresh graduate with no experience to work from home with minimal supervision. You gotta earn that.

Who would you rather have hate you?

My only two friends haven't texted me since Friday. We went out to a bar on Thursday, it was great, but I always feel sad after going out because then I realise I still don't have people around me all the time.

Been like that since forever and I hate it.

I'm in just under 2 years, so no reclassing, but I wouldn't want to anyway, I like what my actual job is, 25S, plus it's awesome money civilian.
No one's told me shit about my clearance, no one tells me anything ever. Seriously I've gone a week without putting on my ocp's because no one said I had to be anywhere. Which sounds cool, but it's boring as fuck.

have a fuck buddy where we mutually have feelings for each other and are pretty much GF and BF. Both of us want to swing around but I'm easily jealous so i just get depressed and moody whenever sex stuff does happen with other people. She can take it fine but it hurts me bad.

on top of that, we're pretty different people (she's a wild girl im an indoor dork etc) but we still have strong feelings for each other. Afraid we won't work out.

Known each other and liked each other for 3 years.

Social relations. Trying to be a good person, while being an alcoholic. It is 1 AM and I'm drinking my third beer. Feels good though.

Find yourself a hobby, or a friend you can fuck around with. Boredom can be a real killer, even moreso in the military where it's supposed to be section/team oriented.

Do you play any games or anything? If you need someone to fuck around online with and shoot the breeze,vent or what have you, I am down. Just got back from deployment, so I am sittin' on leave.

I would probably kms rather than be hated but I need to find someone new, any tips?

Also plenty of offices will give you enough solitude. Depends on the work place. But coders aren't typically the most social group anyway, so like at my office, it's deathly quiet for most of the day, I just pop in some headphones and it's pretty peaceful.

> how my brain always ends up in depression

Like I said, I'm just an idiot on the internet. I thought depression was more-or-less like a constant thing? Almost like, pardon my insensitivity, a disease?

If so, then you're probably as depressed as the other depressed people that have recovered thanks to psychotropic drugs. I'm sure a lot of the people that participated in the studies thought that same way ("What if my thoughts turn toxic?"), but the results have shown that it's helped a lot of people out.

Yeah, no source here, but it's easily googleable.

cheers to alcoholism. didn't drink enough to sleep through the night, did drink enough i woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep.

just cracked a beer at 6am.

That's seriously tough, but this is honestly really similar to a situation I was in recently, except the girl is only mildly a wild girl.

The thing here is that.... I mean somebody has to change, right? Either you stop getting jealous and deal with the relationship as-is, or she gets serious. Which is more likely to happen?

I did try to get back into building models. But that interest waned quickly.
And I got buddys from back home I play online with but I can't seem to get into it anymore.
What I really enjoy is working on cars, but that requires money and most of all a garage, cause I'm not allowed to do shit in the barracks parking lot.
I bought a bike a couple weeks back, and gear on friday, but I don't have my license and I need take the msf course which is apparently always full.

Tips on finding someone new? I mean.... Tinder? Facebook? Facebook sluts are really easy to get at.

This'll sound stupid, but it's honest.

I've hooked up with a lot of girls online through Facebook by just having a bit of tequila, some coffee or energy drink, and bumping hip-hop music. Then i just "slide in the dm's" and just spit mad game. And if I get loose vibes from one, I go with the flow. But if they seem really stiff in the conversation, I move onto the next.

It's easier to view The Game as a simple checkerboard game, so a bit of patience is required. Just.... the alcohol and energy makes decision-making and witty jokes a lot easier to pull off.

I hope that answers your question, lol.

My boyfriend is a borderline idiot and has trouble with even basic concepts he should have learned at school. It was fine when he was submissive (big turn on), but as he's gained more confidence he's turning into a whiny grumpy dick and it's just not fun anymore. Shouldn't have ever moved in together because now it's more complicated to break it off.

>tonight

It's 12:29 faggot

Interesting reply, cheers

How quickly did it take for the dunce to show in him?

fuck. i moved in with my ex and ended up living together for like... 3 more years largely because it became a pain to break it off.

do it sooner rather than later or you'll regret it.

That shit is always full man, and there are usually a ton of gearheads floating around the barracks. Normally see 2/3 people working on their cars here at campbell, no idea what it's like where you're at though. I would seriously push to get yourself into the msf, find your master driver if your leadership is unable to step in like they should. I have no idea if you're in AIT, or actually stationed somewhere, most of the people I run into are all in AIT. Can you drive at all, or have some way to get around that isn't your bike? Why not go off post and check out the sites, for sure you could find a place to enjoy yourself offpost.

just thinking about how much I wish I could be gay so I could leave my family and date my best friend because everything in life seems too difficult/not worth the effort so my only real option is to kill myself but I can't because whenever I try I'm put off by the thought of what impact my suicide will have on the people who care about me.

>Like I said, I'm just an idiot on the internet. I thought depression was more-or-less like a constant thing? Almost like, pardon my insensitivity, a disease?
Not always, and not entirely. Imagine a habit that you do consistently for as long as you can remember. So much that it becomes part of your identity. At some point, it's not you making the choice to do it, so much as your brain just expecting it and auto-piloting you through it.

And I'm sure they've helped people, but depression specifically is difficult to treat even with normal meds. There's the question of which chemical in your brain is causing it, what's at the root of the depression, whether there are environmental parts to it, etc.
Even just prescribing meds for it is like playing the hardest game of Mastermind. You just kinda try shit and make educated guesses based on what past results have been.

This is true. It actually makes you more attractive,proly because it shows you're and adult and responsible and shit.

Murka muh free dumbs

To really show up? A few years. I don't want to say too many identifiable details, but for some things, including some pretty basic math (like.. area of a rectangle stuff) I just find myself thinking "you're 20. how the fuck do you not know this?"

Petersen AFB
I've been out some, but never really have people to hang with, which is part of the reason I think shit sucks.
I'm usually the guy tasked with driving people if someone doesn't have a ride.
All three of those are mine, actually breaking a rule cause were supposed to only take one spot.
Spose I look for the master driver since I never see my leadership.

although i still haven't learned how to pull bar skanks when i have a wedding ring on. they'll flirt and flirt, but then when i try to push the issue a little bit they think i'm a scumbag.

it's at least partially that women see you as "safe". you're an adult and responsible and shit and that's attractive, but at the same time since you're "not allowed" to get with them sexually, they can be more free to practice their natural flirtation and teasing.

she was free to attend a much cheaper college, or to not pursue a worthless masters degree. all my grad school was fully funded by research grants, or i wouldn't have gone. two masters degrees and a phd with no debt, and a better education than is available literally anywhere else in the world (european phd programs are generally below american in the sciences.)