Secrets thread!

Secrets thread!

Other urls found in this thread:

anonvote.com/poll/a544787c
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awww come on anons

I don't seed torrents.

I used to start almost all the secrets threads. Dozens a day sometimes. Then I got tired of all the same fucking stories every fucking time so I told all you fuckers I wasn't going to make any more secrets threads - you faggots are on your own. And I haven't.

But I do reply to the occasional one that gets posted by one of you faggots.

Yeah I used to start a shit ton of them back during september-december of last year. Don't make them much anymore but I occasionally like to see one every once in a while.

There was someone who admitted to starting so many race bait threads. He quit doing it for similiar reasons but it appears that someone else has picked it up :|

I've been having sex with my sister, a male cousin and his sister. Not at the same time and none of them now about each other.

When I was younger and was on vacation with my older sister, I masturbated while wearing a pair of her underwear. The next day she wore the dirty pair. A month went by and we learned she was pregnant. Now, my older sister has my son who is 7 years old.

I'm a manlet (5'9) with a big dick (8.5 inches).

Ever since my 18th birthday my 70 something year old neighbor has been sucking me off and recording me etc. we've experimented a lot but he's mostly submissive. It started out as him paying me at first but kinda forgot about the money I still get occasional cash if I ask though.

I love these kind of things
anonvote.com/poll/a544787c

I've been high nearly every day for the past 2 years an nobody has noticed because I've got concealing it down to a science.

I am the boy band Hanson trapped in a black man's body.

no pic no proof.

>nobody has noticed
Lol, no.

good call. your sister would be PISSED if she knew you were cheating on her with your cousin's cock

>how is the weather in Kentucky right now?

One time I busted a nut in my girlfriend's mouth in a movie theater and she sneezed at the same time so instead of swallowing like she was supposed to it went everywhere and we got kicked out just as Optimus Prime was finally killing Megatron.

>my older sister has my son who is 7 years old.

And we call him Jesus our Lord and Savior.

>sorry faggot, dried cum doesn't swim

they know

Seriously, as far as everyone is concerned I've been sober for about a year and a half now. Prior to that, only my family and friends knew.

nobody knows
and it's gonna stay that way

Hot

I cum for old guys on cam online

My ex-coworker apparently had a thing for me but I can't bring myself to tell them that I don't feel the same way and that I had a thing for another person that worked there.
Don't wanna hurt em, so i'll just avoid it all.

I see through women's attempt to demean me.

name?
she's hot!

they know. trust me.

better not take that trip to Budapest with him. He wants to fuck you at at the lake.

Oh yeah? What exactly do they know?

that you're high nearly every single day. at least for the past 2 years.

I was molested as a child by my neighbor, that were 50 yo.

well then they'd be fuckin retarded because I've been sober for a year and a half.
>The original post was a lie user
>a fuckin LIE
>and you walked right into my lie
>face first
>open mouth
>how's that taste?
>how's that taste to know you've been had?
>how's that taste to know you've been had, sampled, and discarded
>like a toothpick in cheese at a supermarket

I think I've met the girl I want to spend my life with. I only have 1.5yrs left with her though.

Ever since my 18th birthday my 70 something year old neighbor has been sucking me off and recording me etc. we've experimented a lot but he's mostly submissive. It started out as him paying me at first but kinda forgot about the money I still get occasional cash if I ask though.

I was molested by your mother
>but it wasn't rape because I came and I liked it

are you dying?

I'm going to kill myself by making cheese wire into a noose, superglue my hands to the sides of my head, and jumping off a tall building.

Whoever finds me will think I pulled my own head off.

Nah. My girlfriend isn't the kind to marry and her occupation allows her to move very easily. By that time, she will be working in Zürich and will be ready for new company.

Its worth a shot but only time will tell.

Can you do it with a fedora on please?

12 years ago I beat my wife's abusive stalker ex bf almost to death with a baseball bat in a car park late one night. He never saw it coming and had never seen me before so he couldn't identify me even if he did. Wife doesn't know it was me or what happened only that he ended up in a very bad way in hospital one night "after getting in a fight or something?" she told me later after having found out. My wife has never had contact from him since, and having watched the stress leave her life because he was no longer a threat to her has been a great feeling.

Movie reference.

Fucking man shit. Way to go man

I'm going to pay 200 people 3 million dollars each to continue conversations and social media interactions as if I'm still alive and use my credit cards and make high ticket purchases in my name just to fuck with people after I kill myself by ejecting out of an F/A-18 fighter jet into an active volcano and shooting myself in the head on the way down.

That was a lot of words for a man who's not dying.

Fuck one of my wifes friends about twice a month or more. We are both dissatisfied with our spouses and have the best sex of our lives because the other actually gives a damn about participating and having good sex.
I want to be a good father to my children so I don't leave my wife. If all involved were childless we would have divorced and me and friend would be together.

Welcome to adulthood.

Thanks

I suppose not in the literal sense.

I like pineapple in my pizza
I love getting gangbanged by Latinos.
I've blown a priest

I'm planning on killing myself. i have nothing for me in this world I am not smart, hell I can barley take care of myself daily. I am undateable because I socially retarded. and also a manlet, so I shouldn't want to pass on my inferior genes

Used to use a roommates favorite mug as my go to cum-catcher

i go on this website

...

I used to smell my sister's friend's underwear, she was over at our house all the time and she would leave her panties on the floor in my sister's room.

...

you monster

I clapped while coughing between slow movements at a classical music concert.

I don't think sperm last that long outside the body.

I'm 34 tomorrow and it doesn't bother me that I'll probably never have sex with my wife again. She went cold about 2 years ago and since then sex has been shit. Last time was in December and I couldn't care less.

>can barely take care of yourself
Probably because you're depressed. I'm 5'7'' here. I'm ok looking but I know that quite a few girls are into me. Shortness isn't usually an issue unless you're literally a dwarf, and even then dwarfs often find relationships. Most "studies" claiming links between height and success are utter bullshit.

2 years is a long time to keep your wife's body lying around

Her being dead would be easier. I'd probably enjoy it more.

Long time married fag here, Sex is great to keep your marriage good, you need to learn how to actually please her and maybe start some giving her rub downs and buying her flowers.
Aldo sex is better if you stop masturbating.
I promise, the more you invest in that marriage the more you'll get out

The sex is so bad I'd rather just jerk off. Even though we go to marriage therapy she just doesn't care. I feel zero guilt.

It's not that. She feel off not me.

I drilled a hole in my wall so I could see into my neighbor's kitchen, she sometimes has people over and they seem so happy, I like to watch them eating dinner and pretend I'm their friend.

Some women just don't care about sex or orgasms. I told my wife id go down on her whenever she asked and proactively go for it without her asking. She still doesn't want to have sex and absolutely doesn't seek me out or take the initiative.

5 years ago, I was bullied in high school by a pretty popular person at that time. He would talk shit behind my back and tarnish my image on a regular basis. He ended up having some legal trouble with the school (using and selling drugs) that same year. Cops didn't have anything on him, so they were calling in witnesses including me and 2 of my friends. I ended up hatching a plan with those friends to throw him under the bus. All those lies he told about me, I decided to tell about him. With 2 other witnesses saying pretty much the same lies, the cops leaned our way. It crushed him. He got kicked out of school, never transferred to another school, his parents disowned him, and he's been working as a plumber ever since.

I fap (a slang term for masturbating)

I have cheated on my wife allot... i always try to take a pair of panties. have tons of pictures and videos...

Yep same! And it's a total boner killer, I have no interest in having sex with someone how isn't interested in have sex with me.

nice b8 m8

Dude, get off of Sup Forums if you're depressed. Being here is not going to help you at all. Get moving with some physical exercise. Get fit AF, post your fitness progress on instagram, and you'll get so much pussy. You'll be a man. With all that pussy, you won't know how to stop smiling.

I often think about fucking my sister's underage friends and have thought about going her phone to find nude pics of them

Today while working Uber at coachella some cunt cracked a beer in my back seat. I stopped at a store for her to buy a pack of smokes and I spat in her beer while she was inside Walgreens. Felt pretty awesome to watch her drink it through my rear view mirrlr

one time i snuck into an all girl dorm room very late at night. the door was unlocked, no one was there. i quickly went into one girl's drawers and took a bunch of panties to sniff and fap to when i got back to my room. when i was done i felt kinda bad went back to their room, still seeing no one returned, and returned the girl's panties.

thinking about it now, i should've just stole her mac book. but eh. i was a horny 18yo.

And yes im eating her ass...

only thing wrong is the pineapple

shouldve drilled a hole to her bedroom

I hear plumbers can actually make good money

I'd fuck my step sister

I'm 5'3" It's easy to say all that where your from

I'll look like a compensating manlet then, and that doesn't resolve my social issues

...

Why would your sister have nude pics of her friends you fucking mook? Get a life.

...

everytime i take a shit i think of shitting in the mouth of my enemies.
almost like a voodoo ritual or something like that.

pics?

How many latinos gangbang have you been in?

She was fun

Compensating? Yeah from being unhealthy. And get yourself a quite Japanese girl, most of them don't give a shit about anything as long as you're nice to them.

Stalin was 5'4'' and became one of the most powerful and feared men in human history.

Jesus I'd rather be sexless mate

That;s your perspective because youre depressed.

life is easy. get fit, make money, and your social issues suddenly are not issues anymore because any woman with a set of brains will want to fuck you.

if youre really worried about socializing, just buy some self-help books under those topics. and start small, like at work, school, or at a retail store talking to someone who is working.

I'm straight

I think my brain is running on a different operating system from everyone else, so to speak.

I see everything around me in terms of how I could use it to kill people or cause property damage, start fires, etc.

I'm really good at it and my hobbies are pretty much /k/ as fuck so I feel wierd about it sometimes.

I'm also prone to not feeling any emotions at all so I'm terrified I'm going to fucking snap and just go for the high score, and I know if I ever get there I'd actually be good at it. really really really fucking good

I'm not humble bragging or being an autist, my hobbies are basically some horrifying combination of building guns, designing guns, explosives, chemical weapons, security engineering, and other related fields

green texts? tell me more

how did u hook up for the first time?

...

I wanna fuck Chris Chan

I don't feel like my emotions are right, like I don't feel as attached to my friends or family as much as I should be. When I reflect, I couldn't care too much about what anyone else is doing at any given time.