My boyfriend likes to put his soft penis on top of my vagina and ask "is this sex? are we having sex now?"

My boyfriend likes to put his soft penis on top of my vagina and ask "is this sex? are we having sex now?"

I dont understand whats happening

hardcore sex is happening

Not...

>are we doing sex now

leave

Because far chicks make dicks limp. Hit the stair master chubby checker.

can i please have his number i want him to do this to me. this is my fetish.

Fat

It never results in anything he just goes to brush his teeth or watch tv

Does anyone else have this experience - why is this happening

Boi pussy doesn't count

Wtf is that axe wound of a vag. Bruh fix pls

Is this a common desire for people

It really doesn't turn me on but I'm not sure how to tell him.

I dont think he does it to get aroused though

Nigga it looks like someone cut their armpit with a knife. That shit int no pussy

What the fuck is this thread?

You are a boring fuck. So much so that he doesn't even want to fuck you.

Its not my vagina just the closest related picture I could find online after searching for "soft dick on pussy"

Also sometimes he just walks around and says out of nowhere "thatsa greasy butthole" in this italian accent but its not germane to anything

thats funny, i think hes just messin with u for fun ya dink lol, play along w him

Ever just thought that he is gay?

Your boi friend is a autistic barron trump on weed

>"thatsa greasy butthole"

he sounds incredibly retarded or incredibly gay and acting retarded.

ditch him, look for a big dick and be happy

Your pussy is so loose that it feels the same to him when he puts it in as when he doesn't. Also see: "hotdog down a hallway"

tits or gtfo

massively weak

/b is an image board this aint fucking literotica

post vag dont describe it or use an example show the real thing

He's making jokes...
And this is why they say women aren't funny. Even if his joke isn't that hilarious you should have at least realized it was an attempt at humor.

He's not gay he has good sex on me but just don't understand what the "is this sex" means I can't be the only one

Sometimes he is standing next to the bed when I wake up with a long sock on there and he moves his legs up and down like he is going through that army tire thing

Sounds like he don't know whats happening

I dont know whats happening

He just thinks he's funny.

>tits
Yeah that is really....
TITS OR GTFO

After he orgasms he always sings "Rolling like ding dongs" but he does it to the tune of this Elton John song but it's supposed to be "Rolling like thunder"

Its always in the voice of the same cartoon character (pictured)

Your boyfriend is homosexual and does not want to have sex with you. He is afraid to admit it and wants you to bring up the subject. Do it now.

hes a huge retard then

This, the guy is obviously just trying to be funny.
Stop trying to look for problems if he's just simply a dumbass.

He's on the fast ring of meme updates. He's getting memes so new that you can't comprehend them and using you for beta testing. Once those memes are released to the slow ring (normies) it will all be obvious in retrospect.

Its not autism or anything its really just these things otherwise everything seems normal

This practice is from the Kama Sutra. Your proper response would be to slap his penis hard.

Whats the benefit of these memes can he use it on other women

astute observation user

I now know why they call it a gnash or gash, thing looks like an open wound.

would still hit it though.

yes. you have to be careful. the fastest way into a woman's panties these days are via memes

Where do the memes come from though I know he watches a lot of forged in fire

Because you have no sense of humor. He's being silly for silliness' sake, havin a laugh, goofin around, etc etc. Honestly just dump him for his own sake. You sound like a killjoy.

Put me in the screencap

If he says "now this is pod racing" he's a keeper

>"now this is pod racing"

He calls it pud racing i dont know if thats the same thing though

Tell him 'no hon, thats a lapdance. And I usually charge $20'

If somone could delete this that would be thanks I dont want him to find out he goes here a lot but maybe he wont know I'm talking about him

>pud racing
Holy shit thats fantastic.

may may

It can be a lot of things I think.

IMO, he pretend to be a boy.

Tits with timestamp first

fantastic thread, thanks

Yeah... Krista, it's me. The reason I do this is to make light of the fact that you're shit in bed and you can't keep me hard, we're over bitch

>that's a-greasy a butt-a-hole!
You slay me.

Best guess: You're a feminist of some sort and you had a conversation with him about consent where he disagreed with you and probably didn't say so, he is making fun of you. When feminists use the term "penis in vagina sex" aka "PIV" it's often particularly cringeworthy.

TITS OR
GET
THE
FUCK
OUT

Your bf sounds like a hilarious guy. You sound like a nagging bitch.