ITT we greetext the life of a historic/famous figure and try to guess each others said figure

ITT we greetext the life of a historic/famous figure and try to guess each others said figure

I'll start

>"I killed the bank."

Teddy Roosevelt

>I killed a bunch of people and buried them under my house

John Wayne Gacy.

you got it

>I crashed the economy in a religious ritual

Jews

>be me
>father drinks mother is a bitch
>abused eveyday
>graduate and pursue art
>become failed artist
>join military, become respected
>get hurt and sent home
>join politics
>sent to prision for being a dick
>find self and write book
>get out, join politics again
>country elects me leader
>find girlfriend
>I get country out of poverty
>start cleaning our cities of trash
>rebuild our infrastructure
>start doing meth
>other countries hate our prosperity
>we attack them to protect ourselves
>war gets declared on us
>ohshit.jpg
>we get invaded
>they make it to capitol
>get married
>currently in basement typing this

Nope.

hitlerooni

Try again

>birthday is today.
HAIL HITLER

Sieg hail

>bastard son of emperor
>wiseass kid
>becomes monk
>drinks and fucks everyone
>becomes abbot
>has animated series made about him several hundred years later

Ye, way to fucking easy

Pepin the Hunchback.

that image "when you accidentally open the front cam"

Andrew Jackson

Nope; about 600 years after him. Wrong part of the world, too.

Buddha

then it must be Ikkyu. I had to look up the name, but I remembered him from a book I read one time. I just looked up 'Crazy Japanese Monk' and I found him, lol

>born in a shitty barnyard
>my dad cucked my mom's husband
>she said she was conceived by magic
>HeBelievedIt.png
>raised by him
>got bored of carpentry and became magician
>conned thousands into believing I had super powers
>faked my own death and pretended to be resurrected
>disappeared into hiding
>now a bunch of idiots worship my birth and "death"

kek for years

>I did nothing wrong

come on that's way too easy, jesus it is.

What the fuck is greetext You mean >Greentext?

Ding ding! Yep, Ikkyu was quite the character. Sounds like he'd be a great drinking buddy.

>Be old
>Like, really fucking old
>Got lods of emone
>Women
>Boats
>Army
>Decide I wanna get into some heavy political shit
>Bitches don't pay up for my help
>Burn their city to the ground and steal all their shit
>burn down a bunch of libraries and shit, but fuck it, I can't read anyways.

Nick Leeson

>Said I'd be back

>Don't break my ring.

correct

also correct

too general, could be any ruler

Ronald Reagan
Donald Trump if we count mammon as religion.

>molested by priest when I was young
>act like white knight
>be fgt
>dye my hair like an anime character

Donald Trump

Wrong.