I have 2 weeks to become a decent goalkeeper. Please share any tips, drills, anything

I have 2 weeks to become a decent goalkeeper. Please share any tips, drills, anything

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youtu.be/huHVJvpDVbg?t=46s
youtube.com/watch?v=yCxe4r6SjH0
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Get a great defence infront of you

yell at your defense

come out to midfield when the ball is in the attacking zone

yell at your defense some more

don't bother touching the ball with your palm, you can defend the goal using forearm. Look Neuer on youtube

This. And any time you concede, blame one of the defenders, alternate frequently, so you're not just blaming the same one every time. Also raise your arm to complain for a non existent foul or offside for every goal, that way the defenders you blame won't feel like the carry the whole blame, since the referees were obviously also at fault.

Change your nationality. Preferably to Italian

>Also raise your arm to complain for a non existent foul or offside for every goal, that way the defenders you blame won't feel like the carry the whole blame, since the referees were obviously also at fault.


THIS...whatever you do don't dive. If you try to save and fuck up they will see you are shit. If you stand up and raise your hand looking arrogant and confident the ref will look like the bad guy.

Might actually do this, unless I make a very stupid mistake.

It's 5+1, the goals are smaller, I don't think diving will be necessary. Also, I believe the offside rule does not apply.

Don't let the opposing team score.

You need to leak information about your team's tactics to the opposition. Use an intermediary (like your gf). Then blame everything on the manager when you fuck up. You'll be hailed as a hero and given a nice big contract in Portugal.

Always stare at the ball. First few milliseconds after a shot are the most important. When you see the direction the ball is going, go for it. If it hits someone, bad luck, defenders fault, not your problem. If it goes toward you, first take shuffle steps toward the goalpost the ball is going and then save it. Shuffle step is single most important move goalkeeper has. Diving is there only to make you look better, but is super important in the long run. In vast majority of highlight saves you see on tv, dives are not needed, all you see is one of us making his contract.

O shit a Jose cuck I didn't know those still existed!!

>mouyes

Raise your arm for offsides or a foul after every goal. Look where that's gotten Manuel Neuer.

youtu.be/huHVJvpDVbg?t=46s

Holy shit Handanovic is on Sup Forums, love your work bro, slap Icardi for me.

This you don't have to dive, you can be decent just by running in the direction the ball is going. I'm not a goalkeeper myself but every time I had to play in the position I was very hard to be beaten and I don't even know how to dive, all I used to do was to run where the ball was going.

The best keepers are what's referred to as "sweeper keepers," so you must have aptitude with your feet. Play outside your box when your team is in possession and don't be afraid to challenge your opponent outside the box either.

Yeah this will definetly work in amateur level.
>americans

Please take your discouragement and negative attitude somewhere else.

emulate the man in your pic and not le raise hand for offside babyface

>Handanovic is a Sup Forumserglord
Always knew he was autistic

Be a big guy.

my last name is literally translated as "dick cheese"

what the fuck should I do???

SAMIR
A
M
I
R

You have been visited by le fifa god Samir Handanovic

You will be blessed with cleansheets and good shot stopping if you reply to this post with FORZA INTER

Train like a beast in those 2 weeks

Also try not to be a >woman

Be folcloric

Instead of kicking the ball back out, simply drop it at your feet and go on a mazy dribble to the opposite end of the pitch and twat it in. You'll concede lots of goals but score some too so every game ends 15-15

use these two weeks to practice this
youtube.com/watch?v=yCxe4r6SjH0
everybody playing and watching will line up to suck your dick

Thank you, Handanovic