Hey Sup Forums, theres a 50% chance I'm losing my virginity tomorrow, any tips and tricks...

Hey Sup Forums, theres a 50% chance I'm losing my virginity tomorrow, any tips and tricks? And I guess also first time stories thread.

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Foreplay , foreplay, foreplay, ur prolly not gonna last very long so it would b a good idea to make her cum first before u go inside her, kiss on the neck soft touching on arms, chest legs, play with clit , don't worry about fingering her ull b in her soon enough , eat the pussy first , focus on the clit till she cums , after that no pressure, get in there and have fun, if she cums again great , if she don't she'll still b satisfied

Friend date? Is that for real? He's tall, skinny, has all his hair and he has money? I think he can do better.

Good advice here. Make her cum before you even fuck her and then when you fuck her you can enjoy it without any pressure to perform. Just have fun

Ok, thats about what I expected to happen, thanks user

STOP RIGHT THERE user!

If you masturbate regularly there is a very good chance you may take a long time to come or may not come at all. Honestly, just relax. If you can get it up the whole time you'll have done better than 50% of guys. Just enjoy it but make sure to make a comment about how you'd love to try it again soon.

Yeah, he's probably awkward or something if hes not fucking her but still paying for her dates and shit. I feel bad but I almost don't want to

Actually I find that girls prefer cumming from dick. It's in the wiring. You can get her close, but i seriously suggest not finishing her until you're inside. I k is this because I have a girlfriend who specifically will tell me that she's"ready" a d to put it in. Also they like to play with your ass. Be warned about that. I've had more than one girl want to stick something up my butt. Say no

pull out, kids ruin lives

Make sure you scratch her behind the ear, or give her some carrots and sugar cubes.

/thread

No. Wear a god damned condom. Don't even risk it. Skyn brand condoms. Large if you're thick. Size with condoms is rarely about length. I have to use the large because they're not latex and therefore don't stretch as much. I had to cut off a normal sized none latex one once. It was so tight it gave me a priapism. That would have been an interesting ER trip. I watch porn and there are definitely bigger men than I, so do follow guidelines. None latex feels better. More like bareback, although not perfect.

Quit lying on the Internet

the fact that you come to Sup Forums to ask advice
tells me you are a stupid faggot.

but I feel pity for you...
so I am gonna lay it out.

You are gonna be soooooo nervous.
and that is gonna cause you anxiety.

so your small peepee will NOT get hard.
she will notice your flaccid nothingness.
you think, here it goes,:
"get hard get hard get hard"...

but nothing.

she will be so disappointed.
she will know you are faggot.
she will tell all her friends.
she will avoid you, and if you see her friends, they will chuckle remembering your faggotry.

you will die alone, unloved, and unfucked by a woman, because you blew it.

but on the bright side, you will discover gay sex, and enjoy multiple dicks up your ass, many many times.

the end.

I'm 36 and engaged. What exactly do you think I'm lying about? Girls preferring to climax on cock because of psychological wiring or them liking butts! They like butts. I don't know the evolutionary reasoning behind it, but you have to watch your ass.
As if you've never had a girl slap your ass in bed or run a finger down your crack and attempt penetration. Uninvited digits is a given. Set boundaries. Especially if she's more than 10 years younger than you are.

Why did you write this like it was song lyrics?

it is a lyric:
song is called:
OP is a faggot who cant get it up, blues.

co-written by that chich

I've never had a girl try to finger my ass without my prior permission.

Whether they like to climax with a cock in them or not isn't really relevant here because if it's OPs first time he isn't gonna enjoy it if he has to think "o God what if she doesn't cum with my dick inside her am I doing it wrong?" save that shit for future fucking and let him get through the first time without worrying about it

If you search for on Saturday it will still be where it has always been.

Then you just haven't been with as many girls or maybe it's a cultural thing. What country are you in?

Or it might be because virtually every girl I've been with made the first move. It might just be the type of girl I wind up with. Anyway I still say you have to watch your ass that first couple times.

How the fuck do you have specifically a 50 percent chance? Either she has designs of she doesn't. It's not iffy. When a girl sets out do bed a man she commits.
Buy condoms.

the anticipation will make your puny dick not get hard. you will blow it faggot. don't worry, most cute chicks like having that gay friend, and that will be you, in all your fabulousness!

> first time
> both virgins
Cum fast
> she was shy too

Ignore him. Mine has never let me down. At worst you won't be able to cum. She might get upset about this, so if it happens take pulling out and cumming. She can feel it if you cum inside her. Even if it's into a condom. Your dick twitches a lot when you finish.

urkel pants

50=0

he'll learn

yes, he has your dick..
this is a kissless faggot who comes to /b for advice. of course he will fail, he has only seen porn, never a real naked woman, he will spaz out, and the only thing that will get hard is his spastic autism. he'll freeze up. he will fail. she will forever hate him for his failure. he will fail. she will call him flaccid felipe...

Mind if I steal that for a song?

no.

copyright (c) 2017
by:
"Not a limp dicked failure faggot like OP"

I was a virgin until I was 17 and never had a serious girlfriend until I was 30. Even then the girl was 19. Yeah, I had more sex than him, but I have social anxiety something awful. The reason my dick worked is that being scared actually increases the likelihood of an erection. That's a scientific fact. Scared boners are real

You will prolly cum quick your first time. If that happens, just do somestuff, like eat her out, and get your willy loaded again (10 or less min.). She will prolly understand if that happens. Just keep the night going, and all will be fine. OH, also, if you want, eat lots of pineapples or fruits like that, or just in general, if she blows you, and possibly finishes you off in her mouth.

Anyways, watever, just don't get nervous, do your best, and you will always be better than your first time. BUT REMEMEBER, you will probably remember this first time forever, so, no pressure slick.

>Scared non-boners are OPs reality, though
>He has built it up so much in his head, that he will sperg panic, though most likely he will just blow it talking all autistically to her beforehand, and turn her off and make her leave just with his talking, much less get a chance to pull down hiz zipper and disappoint her traumatically

Age?

You're a negative Nelly. Seriously, the worst thing that can happen is him throwing up from nerves or something. Worst thing for a girl would be throwing up while giving head, and it happens a lot. Who here hasn't had a girl puke in his lap? It's not like in porn. Oh, and OP there is a chance that if she's not particularly experienced she will gag herself on your cock and puke on you. If this happens just be calm and reassuring. Blame what she had for lunch. If you puke in the bathroom from nerves then just own up to it. We have all been there. If you puke on her from nerves, then you're on you're own.
OK, advice for in bed. Not every girl likes to be eaten out, on account of being self conscious mostly. If she directs you away from licking, just move on. Use a finger. Also if it's your first time, let her tell you what she wants. If she says "right there and you're fucking her... I have no idea what do do in that situation except to keep fucking. Half the time I'm rather confused as to why it's a "right there" when moments before it wasn't. Another thing is that girls like it when you're on top and you position yourself to kiss the side of their necks. It's not about the neck, it's a position thing. A "right there" thing. Do not focus on the neck because she tells you that you're in the spot. They almost never mean the neck.

^^
gay comeback
you had me at negative nelly

Is there even a name for that position? It's basically just missionary with you standing while she's on the bed with a pillow under her ass, and you lean into the side of her neck... I never really though of just how complicated it actually gets halfway through. One time I actually stuck on of my feet against the wall and had one foot on the ground. I don't have any idea how or why I did this. Shit got weird.

Tip: enjoy yourself, have fun, make sure she is having fun too. It's gonna be awkward and weird, but that goes away. The clit is your friend, pay attention to both boobs, use your mouth and your fingers, ask before you go to brown town, and pay attention to her body language. You'll do mediocre the first time, accept that now. And for the love of God, wear a fucking rubber!

It defuses arguments in real life pretty fast. If things are escalating between two people name calling, say something so gay and silly that you make it awkward for everyone. Instant conflict resolution. Verbal flash bang.

Tease the *shit* out of her. Back off when she's getting louder or breathing heavily. Caress her inner thighs while skipping right over her bajingo. Foreplay is just warming her up, the better you tease in foreplay the crazier the sex will be.

fuck you faggot

I'm not the one who's obsessing over another man's sex life. I bet you smell good.
I'm actually straight. Why does homosexuality make you so uncomfortable? Are you imagining the face I make in bed?

>Are you imagining the face I make in bed?
only when you are face down, taking my dick and fist up your ass

Kinky. Well, at least you owned up to it.

now lets swing this back to OPs anxiety limp dick.

OP, you are gonna fail, you have built up the anxiety so much.

even hetero like me, the very very first time I had sex, it was not so great, I was just 13 and naive, except that I was able to get it up.

you, on the other hand, have waited so long, built up the anticipation so long, that droopy fear will just fuck up the whole experience.

>will be a nervous thing
>don't focus so much on the sex act(penetration)
>focus more on the things that lead up to it
>foreplay basically(making out, hands on each other, grabbing tits, licking tits, hand everywhere on her body, and fingering her a bit.)
>it honestly makes it a lot better instead of just getting hard and fucking her
>when it comes to show time use a condom for real dawg(may not feel as good, but godam getting that bitch pregnant will fuck ur shit up.
>have fun
>fuck that hoe

side notes:
>take ur time
>try to do it somewhere you are comfortable and have a fair amount of time.
>low key. foreplay is basically the GOAT
>just fucking get all up in her shit foreal homie.
>hands everywhere up and down her body
>sloppy making out
>its the best
>u got this my dude

When in doubt. Eat it out

>theres a 50% chance I'm losing my virginity tomorrow, any tips and tricks?

LD50s are unreliable.

Double the dose and your chances will be guaranteed

...

one last thing.

when i lost my virginity the girl i fucked lasted about 5 strokes... and we were doing it doggy style.

i got the condom on, put that shit in her pussy, in out in out in out in out, and bam she has a orgasm.... she gave out the most horrendus ogre sounding belch thingy. after that we kind of just kept going.
>she came
>i couldn't cum
>just banged until i got tired and then jerked off into her mouth
>took me about a month of steady sex before i could cum with a condom on
>shiiiittttttt

its gona be dope

Alpha Chad here. I have three words for you OP: Pound That Ass. When I say pound that ass I mean pound her doggy style for at least 2 hours and what you do before or after is just your signature. That's your choice but you need to pound that ass until it's bloody red.

>b-b-but I won't be able to last for two hours

If that's your attitude don't even show up. How many hours can you edge while masturbating? Anything below 3 hours and you need to work on it right now. You won't be able to cum if you think about Andy Sixx and his creamy logs unless you're a faggot. That's good. Use this to your advantage. When you're about to cum just think about his stinky log full of corns and you will be good for another 15 minutes of pounding her from behind without cumming.

Remember, P.T.A. or go home.

beta OP
opposite of this ^^^

will wimp out, go home and cry
disappointed girl.

no more friendzone either, as she will only see limp dick failure, and want to avoid memory

opposite of what?

Do you English?