Story time about the most autistic moment in my life

story time about the most autistic moment in my life

>be me
>teenager
>mom buys new coathanger thingy for my wall because i always throw my jacket around in my room
>the thing hangs on my door
>hang my jacket there
>some hours later leave my room to get a drink
>walk back in like always
>not used to my coathanger thingy
>jacked swings in front of me
>think it's some big ass dude/thing standing behind my door
>terrified autistic scream
>mini heart attack
>fall down
>i'm about 6'2
>fall is high and long
>all the pressure on my wrists
>ohfuck.jpeg
>intense pain
>mom takes me to hospital
>left wrist broken, right one fractured
>mfw i have weak wrists for life because of a jacket

Thanks user

>You must be 18+ to post on this board

it's an old tale from the past, worry not my friend

This making fun of autists and using the term in a derogatory way
Thanks for proving conclusively that you are a coward twice over.
>Afraid of a jacket in his own room.
>Picks on those born with disability.

>afraid of a jacket in his own room.
nigga that's a pretty good indicator that I have autism myself

>making food in the microwave
>big ass moth buzzing around but I ignore it
>timer goes off, I open the door
>moth flies right onto my eye
>instinctively jerk my head forwards
>catch the corner of the door on my forehead
>busted open my forehead, bleeding out pretty decently
>door of microwave is broken
>5 stiches on my face and replacing a microwave over a bug I was largely aware of

i giggled

Fucking loser

I only married someone.

>be me
>14 year old dumbass
>im talking foil in microwave for entertainment retarded
>get into all sorts of cannons and shit
>decide fuck it, build potato cannon
>not just any cannon will do, this must be the gustav of tater shooters
>next day, went to home depot and bought a fuckton of pvc pipes, then off to Walmart for hairspray
>after hours f building with help of my uncle, this behemoth is finally ready
>use two cans of hairspray to line the barrel (i thought 1 wouldnt be enough)
>also added gun powder from a firework
>the time has come, the cannon is ready
>i lift it up onto my shoulder (about 20lbs)
>load two potato because why the fuck not
>the second i hit the trigger, time seemed to have stop
>next thing i know, im face down on the ground, cut on my forehead bleeding a bit
>also can barely hear
>i stand up and look at the cannon
>front end is perfectly fine, ass end looks like it got out of a prison shower
>turns out that two potatoes jammed it, and the farthest one back fired out the back due to pressure
>walk around my yard looking for the potato, can't seem to find it
>then, i hear whimpering
>ohfuckmylife.pdf
>i found the potato, scattered into bits, on what was left of a fox
>mfw the backfire potato ripped a fox in half

after that, i wasn't allowed to build anymore cannons

>like it got out of a prison shower

>because of a jacket
Yeah - that's what did it.

>ripped a fox in half

Cool story bro
My sides tho!

>around 13
>go sleep with window open wide
>fucking heat
>wake up to cooing
>fucking massive pidgeon sitting on my wardrobe
>did i man up?
>did i fuck
>i screamed like a bitch for my mum
>my mum chased it out the window
>she laughed for hours
not traumatic but fucking scared my young ass senseless

You sound like my wife. I do not come here to listen to my wife. I know it's bait, but fuck you user. But nice dubs, checked.

Keked!
Reminds me of the three times my old cat (may he rip in peace) brought in live magpies into the basement through the cat flap and then all three cats were too scared to even go into the basement...

Fractured = broken you mong

are you autistic?

No I'm a nursefag. And a fractured bone is the same goddamn thing as a broken bone. OP is, as always, a glorious winged faggot

9thpost best post

Fuck off
Using it as an insult is not an insult to those with the disorder
Go back to tumblr and Roblox

>nurse
fucking faggot

It's not as carefree as neet life but you wouldn't understand

There's no such thing as autism. Its a lie propagated by parents that are too lazy to teach their kids not to be assholes.

Best story i've read in a while.

oh I know user, lots of cocks to suck and old diseased men to sponge bath. I envy you

B8

Nope. ER nurse at a level one trauma center. With my overtime I cleared 6 figures last year.

you're a male nurse just stop trying

it's okay to be gay

And what do you do?

not the most feminine profession possible

hey, have some respect for all nurses yo, they save lives

>seconded