Ask a depressed schizophrenic anything

Ask a depressed schizophrenic anything

free (you)s for all posters

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youtube.com/watch?v=Htf2fER_T_s
twitter.com/AnonBabble

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Do you like mudkips?

how's your day

>Do you like mudkips?
I prefer Cyndaquil, much cuter. But Mudkips are also qt

Do you like this image?

what meds u on?

Have any life goals?

Pretty shitty, but it could be worse.
Yea, it's pretty cute.
None. I was recommended to take haldol.

what do you do for work?

WHATS YOUR FISRT THOUGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP?

Can you explain it in words?
youtube.com/watch?v=Htf2fER_T_s

How do you know you're schizophrenic

Are you okay, OP?

I don't, I'm a neet.
today will suck
i'll have to look at that later.
Doctor
Not really

cats / cats on acid

>Not really
Oh... Is there anything I can do to help you out?

Did you try to kill yourself? dont do it please not worth it.

what do you do for money if you dnot have a job?

Thanks for the concern, but I don't think so.
No, not in a long time I haven't
SSI, I'm unable to work

Whats the meaning of life?

have any hobbies?

If you're schizophrenic, what do the voices say?

Can you confirm if you're Legion from the X-men?

To find someone with whom you can share your experiences.
vidya mostly, but it's hard to stay interested in them anymore.
They don't really say anything. They whisper and I can't hear what they say. It's like background noise, just very annoying.
Yes, I am.

Why don't you just kill yourself? You are clearly a needy attention whore who hasn't done anything to better your life or those around you. Probably, you won't end up doing anything useful at all.

You're useless even for a schizophrenic, congratulations.

Because I have no desire to kill myself.
>you're clearly a needy attention whore
No, I'm just trying to distract myself from my own thoughts.
>You won't end up doing anything useful
I don't plan on doing anything useful
That isn't me, user.

Says the shit poster on some internet forum.
Stop projecting and buy some helium already faggot

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I don't really have any words for that video. But, it does make a lot of sense.

You should find the desire. Someone who can't cut it never will. Why do you deserve to live when so many much much better people have had to die? Being diagnosed with depression doesn't mean shit, you're just a lazy fuck. People with real problems have gone through more than you have and come out actually fucked up because of their experiences. Guess what? They made SOMEthing out of their lives instead of whining like a little bitch.

Not OP, but depressed sociopath (medically diagnosed mind you) here. No one intrinsically deserves to live and the fact that you imply anyone does shows that you yourself are a self centered double nigger.

You have no idea what this persons life is like.

How sad must you be to go out of your way to be toxic?

I pray for you.

I know, I know: b8.
But this is actually spot on to what I think about myself every day. For not acknowledging depression as legitimate, you sure did a good job of encapsulating it. Again though - b8. Got a (you) outta me though.

Bah...
seems to be a feeling that can only be understood by those who are have schizophrenia.

White knighting faggots.

Not a white knight. Just telling someone that they're a double nigger. I honestly think that OP should kill himself, and I'll join him in Gensokyo.

I just like trolling trolls

You clearly know nothing of depression or schizophrenia user. But, that's okay. I don't resent you for being ignorant towards something you've never experienced.
There is a weird feeling about it. The way the cats look when he starts becoming schizo.
Maybe they're just speaking their minds?

How's your day been?

Nobody deserves to live, but you should know better than anyone that what people get doesn't depend on what they deserve, but what they're willing and able to seize.

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>There is a weird feeling about it. The way the cats look when he starts becoming schizo.
Maybe paranoia...
I'm more curious about the psychedelic cats at the end.

OP i donna know you but i think i like you, every response you give is blunt and real. i think that people like you are important for people like me. in a way I'm jealous. you get to be outside all the bullshit everyone seems to be caught up in, perhaps depression is actually just seeing properly ? ever thought that your not the problem ? and maybe getting involved in some sort of activity to show your perspective on things ? other then this post.

I am fascinated by schizophrenia, but i don't think i could imagine it. Just like i can't imagine what it's like to be drunk or high by just hearing a description.

Less than good.
"deserve" is such a subjective word.
They look cooler but, they don't really speak to me in any sort of special way
That is just the way I am normally, outside of the depression. It may have something to the schizo though

*curls up in your lap and purrs*

>they don't really speak to me in any sort of special way
Kek, good for you.

It's quite a fascinating disorder. But sadly the only way to really understand it is by experiencing it.
*pets you* good kitty
>good for you
Thanks I guess?

>Thanks I guess?
Yeah Op, you are a very nice guy, i wish you the best.

Can you recall any interesting hallucinations ?

>you are a very nice guy
People say that a lot to me. I can't figure out why. I think I'm pretty shitty.
>i wish you the best
Thanks, bud.
My psychotic breaks aren't accompanied by intense hallucinations. It's mainly paranoia, so when I hallucinate it's related to the paranoia. So, for instance, I'll see someone standing outside of my window or hear someone knocking at the door or see people standing in doorways.
The more interesting hallucinations have been just balls of light that float through the air. The best way I can describe it is when you squint your eyes and you look at a light that's kind of far away. That's what they look like, but round. Or similar to how a child might draw the sun with rays.

>People say that a lot to me. I can't figure out why. I think I'm pretty shitty.
You're a pleasurable company, not an arrogant asshole or a crybaby, rare thing these days...

Thank you for sharing your experiences, i am very interested in mental disorders and espacially schizophrenia. Probably because i by myself have some kind of undiagnosed disorder. I also had some small hallucinations simliar to the ones you discriped, for instance i opend the fridge and saw a head in there. Or some dots on my desk seemed to move like bugs. But these events are only short because i start to focus when i notice something like that. I also tried lsd 2 times even though my mental state. Wasnt the best idea but was very interesting.

What does it feel like to have schizophrenia? What is different for you? what are the main symptoms?

when you're a useless fuck all day everyone thinks its ok

Have you ever tried meditating? I'm not implying that it will somehow cure your schizophrenia or depression, but I'm interested in what a meditative experience would be like for a person with mental irregularities similar to yours.

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>You're a pleasurable company, not an arrogant asshole or a crybaby, rare thing these days...
I used to be a massive asshole in my younger days though. I do try to be friendly to people as much as I can though. That person may just be having a worse time than me. I can be too brutally honest though. I've destroyed a lot of relationships that way.
You're welcome.
It's no uncommon for people to hallucinate. If you're having a lot of stress it can induce psychotic breaks. But if you have them often you should seek medical attention.
>lsd
That's something you should be careful of. If you are predisposed to any disorders it could cause them to onset.
It's like not knowing what your own thoughts are, or what you even want. I argue with myself over what I actually want a lot of the time.
>what is different for you
From normal people?
a lot of things. I suffer from extreme paranoia and anxiety attacks, and if I don't keep them in check they can cause psychotic breaks. Which will lead me to be more paranoid and anxious eventually to the point where I can barely communicate with people, or even myself.
I have. I used to meditate quite frequently.
When I meditate is when I hear the voices the most clearly, I still can't hear the completely though.
I always feel super light and like I'm floating down a river, and I see light shows.
That seems fairly accurate

How do I get my own Neetbux?

You can check the qualifications for neetbucks somewhere online.
There are a few mental disorders that are on that list.
Being a neet isn't that great though.

>more free time
a bad thing how?

Well if only hallucinations would be my problem, i have all kind of mental problems and i bet i should visit a psychologist but i somehow manage to live my life even though it definitly makes a lot of things harder. And also is very unpleasant.

Having free time is nice.
Having too much free time isn't nice. Because then it's not "Free time" it's just... time.
I know the feeling. A psychologist could help you learn to cope with some of the problems you have and make your day to date a bit easier. If you think you should see one, give it a try.

hey OP you ever been on zyprexa?
also how many times you done inpatient and what was your longest stay?

How's your family dealing OP? I ask because I'm the son of a paranoid schizophrenic and I know how quickly support from them can crumble. I watched most of my family turn their back on him when he needed it most.

:thinking:
still sounds nice

cuz schizophrenics are fucking the most infuriating people on the planet

I've never done any medication for it. The only times I take medication are if it's for a life-threatening occasion.
Luckily I've never had to inpatient, I'm sure could have been admitted a few times. But I don't talk to people about my problems like that so it's not very likely for me to get committed.
I've lost basically all contact with all of my friends, and family except my mother. She's been pretty great through all of it.
Don't get me wrong, it has its ups. But it also has its downs.
It's easy to be angry at something you don't understand, user.

Your family did the right thing.

So what are the downs?

Haha, you are seriously pathetic. Grow the fuck up, stupid nigger.

Loneliness, lack of money, more time than you'll know what to do with, depression, no friends.
Just to name a few
Do you feel better?

Why is shinobu so dang cute

Sucks about your family user, but not surprising. I think I have an easier time dealing because he was diagnosed when I was 2 and now I'm 36.

Well from a social standpoint a psychologist would be the right choice for me but from a personal view not really. I think i will continue on my own until it makes to much problems for me or others.

Well like always a lot of people here that are not in any way open minded well whatever.

@to much time oh yes i know that feeling even though i manage my life i had so much time, way way to much time for myself.

>Loneliness/no friends
Install discord, find some interesting servers, and make some internet friends. Outside of work/school I haven't spoken with anyone IRL in about 9 months.
>lack of money
Already lack that, in addition to time.
>more time than you'll know what to do with
Again, besides soul-crushing introspection, what is the downside to that?

I've gotten to know at least 100 schizophrenics over the last 3 years and I've never heard any of em say it has "ups."

>I can be too brutally honest though. I've destroyed a lot of relationships that way.
I understand this, I am mentally healthy but my family used to move from town to town constantly because of my father's work, so I grew up learning to live alone, playing alone... Because of that I don't care a lot about what people think of me and I deal with criticism and offenses very easily but I forget that other people aren't like me.

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Well from my understanding, my problems are part of the psychotic branch of psychic disorders and i have to say for me it has it upsides. I have to say my life isnt as boring as it used to be. But the price is high.

because Shinobu a best
I'm used to be being alone, so it doesn't really bother me too much that they aren't around anymore. I've learned to deal with my problems on my own for the most part.
>I think I will continue on my own
Do what you think is best for yourself. Don't be afraid to change your mind if something changes in your life though
>Well like always a lot of people here that are not in any way open minded well whatever.
It's Sup Forums, people are shitheads by nature. kek
>Install discord, find some interesting servers, and make some internet friends.
I've never really been any good at just making friends, and voice chat freaks me out. I haven't really had any friends IRL in about 6 years, and I've been a neet for about 10. At first it's pretty nice, but that goes away very quickly.
>what is the downside to that
I mean if you're fine doing nothing most days, nothing.
I wasn't saying schizophrenia has ups, I was referring to being a neet.
Up and down are just points of perspective. Anything can have an upside if you look at in the right way. Likewise you can make the best situations seem like they're bad if you look at it wrong.
I know that feeling quite well, I moved a lot as s child too. I was always the weird kid and never had any friends so I learned to be alone.
I agree, Schzio has it's upsides. When I'm not overwhelmed by anxiety or paranoia it's pretty fun.

oh i missed your post heres your free (you)

>I've never really been any good at just making friends
If you can hold a basic conversation, you can make a friend
>voice chat freaks me out
Speaking or listening?
>I mean if you're fine doing nothing most days, nothing.
>doing nothing most days
Why aren't you doing something?

How exactly do you hear voices? Are they as clear as if someone would be speaking to you? do they have different tones or sound different? What is the most difficult part in your opinion with the term "Just don't listen to them" ? also side question, what anime character is that? I see her a lot but no idea who she is or which anime she's from.

Have you ever tried to do drugs? Specifically the ones that cause you to hallucinate or alter the mind to an extreme state of euphoria? i.e LSD , Shrooms, I guess even Weed. If so, what effects has that had on your schizo? Would the voices become clearer? I don't know im just curious.

>If you can hold a basic conversation
I kind of can't, most of the time I just have nothing to say back to the other person. Then they think I don't like them or something and it just ends.

>speaking or listening?
speaking
>Why aren't you doing something?
Because there's nothing to do that will keep me occupied.
>How exactly do you hear voices?
They sound like whispers, like someone talking to you quietly from across the room. But in your own head.
>Is it clear
Not really, they're really far away/distorted sounding
>do they have different tones or sound different
they do have different tones, a lot of the voices I hear are females and even their tones are different.
>What is the most difficult part in your opinion with the term "Just don't listen to them"
It's an unrealistic expectation. It's similar to telling someone with depression to just not be depressed. It's a bit unfair to the person who is suffering.
>also side question, what anime character is that
Oshino Shinobu, from bakemonogatari/monogatari
I have done coke, weed and alcohol. But never done lsd or shrooms, but I want to try them at some point.
>what is the effect on schizo
Coke made me just feel paranoid and fast didn't really change anything
weed makes me feel more calm and keep my anxieties in check. But it makes me more paranoid and it makes my psychotic breaks more intense. I don't hear the voices better, but I hear them more often.

Interesting. Thank you

Hmm, then what about acting on what these voices tell you to do? how do they hold power over your life if you can validify the fact that they aren't real (or can't you?) and with that not act on what they say or tell you to do? I feel rude asking, although I don't mean anything negatively, just to try to learn as much as I can about it. Are the voices always new ones, or is it a set amount that stick around or something and you can recognise them or such?

Why havent you killed yourself yet? Im curious.

> But never done lsd or shrooms, but I want to try them at some point.

Since i did that i wanted to give you a little advice. For me the effect was stronger than it should have been i guess. I lost all memory and felt like i was stuck in the Trip for Eternity. It really had a extreme influence and made me panic at some points. After the Trip i had extreme Headaches for a week after that. Also some new points of panic and perspetion emerged from that but for me nothing serious.

>Interesting. Thank you
You're welcome.
I don't think I've ever had one tell me what to do. They're mostly like background noise, like static in the back of my brain, but it's voices.
The only time when I lose power on my life is when I get overwhelmed by anxiety or paranoia. But, I'm aware that all the thoughts that I'm having are my own. I haven't gotten to the point where I dissociate from my own thoughts completely.
>i feel rude
Don't feel like you're being rude. This is exactly why I made this thread.

>Are the voices always new ones
Sometimes they're new and sometimes they're old reoccurring ones. It's mostly reoccurring ones though.
I have no desire to die
I've heard a few stories about lsd/shrooms very similar to that, thanks for the advice though. I'm really curious to see what the trip would be like and how it would change my perspective on things.

>lsd
It helps to write on your arm or somewhere else how long this is going to last, since i lost memory of taking something and that it stops, i thoght it will last forever for some time.

>lsd

Ah also DMT seems to be a more potent Psychadelic than lsd but its harder to get. And its way stronger i guess, never took it though. i hered it could beam you in other dimensions :D

Have you always been diagnosed with schizophrenia? how easily can you deter being schizophrenic to not? Also bit of an odd question, but how similar do you think schizophrenia is to social anxiety?

>write somewhere how long it will last
That's something I'll try to remember to do. Just in case that I do forget as well.
DMT is also something I've wanted to try, but I want to do something lighter first.

Watch a movie...
Eyes Wide Shut
Full Metal Jacket
The Shining
Barry Lyndon
A Clockwork Orange
2001: A Space Odyssey
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

>I kind of can't, most of the time I just have nothing to say back to the other person.
Well, you are saying plenty back to us.