Adventure Thread;

Adventure Thread;
You are a young blacksmith who has scraped by crafting amateur weapons for more wealthy travelers and spend you nights listening to adventurers stopping by the local Inn.
After an unhappy customer has ruined your reputation, you have nothing left in this town.
You set out for your own adventure. Strapped with a self smithed sword and shield and 30 gold (gp) you set out. Soon you come across a small village with 3 buildings and farms for miles. What will you do?

>first 7 decides

Bag;
Basic Sword & Shield
30gp

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youtu.be/Xy-o47TLPxw
twitter.com/AnonBabble

what are the three buildings, just houses or something more interesting? also, are there any villagers in visual range?

A freebie for the bump.
The 3 buildings seem to just be houses, or houses running small business as well.

You also notice the faint smell of dirt and dew, looking around you spy farmers in the hills and people passing between the homes, young and old.

>7 still decides

it looks like i'll be walking quite a ways to get to anything interesting.

time to barter for a horse and see if any of the locals have rumors that may lead to adventure.

I approach the nearest building and see if anybody is on the premesis to ask them about local news and if they have a horse they'd be willing to trade.

Roll.

rollin

rollerino

go into the nearest house and start looking through the food stores. eat whatever you find. this travelling is going to be hungry work.

roll

reroll

rolling.

Ravage town. Sodomize corpses.

Roll

rerolling, eat that niggers food

Reroll

rolling for friendly trade and gathering information.

last roll

Ask a local for directions

Rroll

ask the townsfolk if there's any work going

oh boy here we go.

rr

YAY!

Winrar

checked, time to rape

God damnit Sup Forums

why can't we ever just go on a normal adventure and do normal things

Cuz fuck you im great thats why

You figure you're overdo for a sense of control. Strolling into town you scope out the crowd of villagers and approach a small group of kids.
"This will be a nice start." you think.
>You grab two children by the hair and smash skulls together and some stomps when they go down
>The older townsfolk crowd around and you go wild
You stab and bash your way through a herd of elderly and children alike
After the dust settles you take their limp brown cherries as a reward

CHA + 1

You also find 11 gp in your rage

>1 decides

Rape the next town of goods and virginity

Rape

Rerape

Three autistic faggots roll 7 but neglect to state what they decide to do. Sup Forumsrilliant.

Do some cloudwatching

Fuck it
How new are you?

Craft armor from children's bones. Must have butt plug attachment device for armor.

Roll

Cause someone already rolled a 7, PAY ATTENTION

to be fair, the winner was rolled before their posts, and it takes me a min to type stuff out

fetch the nearest horse. fill sack full with provisions for the trail. but before riding out of town, it's time to spend the night here roasting the tender meat of the children to have a good meal.

Fuck. Yes.

pay attention.

Faggot

And failed to state an action, PAY ATTENTION
Oh fuck it, this game is so fucked. I'm out. Andy Sixx's turd threads are better than this group.

Come on op

You aren't satisfied, you NEED a memento of this triumph. Hoisting multiple children over your shoulder, you set to work on some new dreads.

After about an hour at your makeshift workstation, it is complete.

You forge two bracers and a pelvic guard from their bones, using some vertabrae as a makeshift buttplug add on.

At this point you hear approaching horses and voices, it must be the farmers..

>3 decides

Bag; 41 gp
Basic Sword & Shield
2x Bracers of child bone
Pelvic Guard of Child Pelvis

have fun not adventuring, retard.

raid every house for food, gold, scrolls and potions

Take a huge shit in the middle of the village

Thanks for the support!
If I win again I'd say make a new +10 weapon by combining sharp sticks and the victims penises to create a dick mace
Thanks for picking 1 OP

This autism is cataclysmic

draw steel and cautiously peer out a window or doorway to see if it is indeed the farmers.

if it's just peasantry, then it's time to overpower them and take at least one alive as a captive to press into slavery.

Safe bet!
I'd also like to support with an intimidation roll?

winrar

This adventure is going pretty well so far

well then
You aren't phased the slightest, in fact, you're tuckered out and need to make stool. Leaving your work bench, you head to the center of the village and drop deuce.

Just as the first chud hits the ground, you look up and are met with 5 farmers scared and angry gazes.

>8 decides

OP here, turd dumping is going to be the signature territory mark from our almighty blacksmith swordsmaster that listens to Rhapsody of Fire

Eat a dead man's penis to intimidate

draw steel and attack the farmers, if possible keeping one alive to take for a slave.

Reroll, but without removing the penis from the body

Death stare at them, have head do a 360 spin with white wide open eyes

Rape him first?

we can rape him every time we set camp. we SHOULD however forge a set of proper manacles the first chance we get.

I agree, nice dubs check em.
I also still feel we need a dick mace. Noone wants to get hit by that, which would keep us safe

"Phew" you sigh, as your turd hole closes and brazenly draw your blade, rushing the first line of farmers you kill 2, and 1 is mortally wounded.

You raise your sights to the other 2.
Noticing that there is only one, shivering, old farmer. The other must have ran.

You point your sword at the trembling, nearly sniveling farmer.

"You are MY bitch! Aye?"

The farmer nods and lets out a cry as he finally sees his loved ones dead everywhere, some transformed into armor,

>0 decides

our hero's theme song
youtu.be/Xy-o47TLPxw

Roll for

Bend him over and put excalibur(peñor) in his master sword hole

I'll allow casual and regulatory raping of our hostage.

>0 still decides.

Reroll for

take a horse and start a travelling circus, with the farmer getting fucked by the horse as your first act

Thanks!

this still, a collaboration of sorts

Reroll

Reroll

Followed by

Fucking hell, i get dubs when I don't want them and can't be assed to fucking roll a 0

make a dick mace out of a solid piece of wood and the penises of our victims.

bind the old man and lead him on a long rope leash. make him carry our supplies as we make way for greatness along the road.

Again

roll

0 fucking
>get

Some get 0 for progression pls

cut the old man's tongue out so that he cannot tell others of our heinous deeds this day, cauterize the wound with an ember from a fire.

bind him and leash him with rope, making him carry our supplies. as we head out along the road.

1 guy 1 horse style pls

My hero, nice twist em knight shamalamadingdong

Yoo, it's old times, the sword being used to kill the villagers is filthy of blood and dirt

So obviously cutting a tongue of a dude is going to kill without any aids of anesthesia, drugs, etc...

And also something to disinfect

You pull your pants up and usher your new man slave away, only asking where some food is. After gathering 3 days worth of food, you become very calm and collected with your new farmer friend.

"What's the name gent?" you ask (dubs decides his NEW name)

He replies, "Skrog, sir." and mumbles.

"Well dipshit," you reply, "we're gonna get famous and I have an act in mind...."

You smile crookedly/manic and usher man slave to a horse carriage.

As you set off down the road you let out a yell, "ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS, HERE I COME!"

>5 decides

Bag; 41 gp
Basic Sword & Shield
2x Bracers of child bone
Pelvic Guard of Child Pelvis
3 days of rations

Please find lube, can't have the horse pink sock him or he is useless to us

The Spanish Inquisition happens

I did not expect that

Lets call him principal poopsmoker

If get then put excalibur(peñor) in the ol' man's master sword socket

Reroll

Wanna name him the Spanish Inq?
I'll give ya a redo.

I suppose

Proceed to Mexico to put on our horse show

maybe we should name the circus "Spanish Inquisition" and name the slave "Harold the Heretic"

Decide to perform ass 2 mouth with old man

I support this, also it's time for a show

Nah, bame the circus Spanish Inquisition but name it:

Go back to old town with traveling circus

Dubs confirm