What is the best household item to fuck your ass?

What is the best household item to fuck your ass?

A penis.

A pole shaped cheese grater

bump

All-star!

german alternatives?

"Edding"

I like how the robber is black

The handle of a screwdriver. They tend to be quite nicely shaped.

Available in almost every store.

a lint roller put a condom or something on it though.

very similar shape to sharpie...

I fucked my ass with a blunt tube last night. Not my proudest fap, but it worked. Literally anything phallic & smooth op, just look around you

cucumber
Not even memeing, it really is the best homemade dildo, all you will need is a condom and lube to go with it.
>inb4: carrots
carrots break and they dont have a surface as smooth as cucumbers.

You all are degenerate faggots.

Edding in the pooper?

A toy baseball bat... mmmmm

Get a hair brush and some condoms and you are set

Why? I mean, I get that you think this is nasty but how is a thread detailing how to shove something in your pussy to feel good or what you can stick your cock in to feel good any different?

its all just to get pleasure, you being short sighted enough to not realize that is disheartening

a carrot

Toilet plunger (don't use one made from wood)
toothbrush handle
Hairbrush handle
those vitamin tablet tubes
own fingers

nah, getting carrt bacteria in your ass can get fucking nasty

sometimes the handles of cutlery if they are the right shape , you definitely want it to be rounded and tapering or its just not going to feel nice , candles if you can melt them a bit to a nice shape for the end that goes in , toilet brush depending on handle , those little plastic test tube things that you get flavoured shots in , you could also try making a ice finger by putting a rubber glove filled with water in the freezer and using the frozen fingers , if you have a tube of silicone you could build up layers around a pencil and make a rubbery dildo thing , also theres a kind of plastic granules that you can heat up in boiling water and mold to a shape which will dry hard . those are what I have used or thought of using

Bigguh!

they always are

WOW IT'S ANOTHER FAGGOT THREAD

WHO THE FUCK IS POSTING ALL THESE FAGGOT THREADS?

cucumbers

hard long thick green cucumbers

seriously tho

faggots would be my first guess

nah I tried that it breaks

How hard did you shove it up your ass to break it?

wait for the carrot to get AIDS... she'll learn who she tried to fuck with

it didn't really break, he shoved it up so far his stomach acid digested it

what the fuck are you doing with it
you are supposed to go in and out, not pull it like a lever
to stupid to be a fag, I'm speechless

not that hard really, just eased it in, and then when I started to pump it, slowly mind you, it just snapped in half. It was an English cucumber though, not a normal one.

strongest asshole ever

a guerkin

Sharpie in the pooper?

cut the handle off an umbrella. Use that. an umbrella handle is curved, has the same shape as the aneros prostate massager, so that it hits the prostate when you ease it in.

A juice glass?

Welcome to the internet. If you think your first day was fun, just wait.

>2017
>not being a degenerate faggot

edding in kacker

got something bigger?

a glass jar

eggplant and you shape it like a bic dick with a knife

...

dont worry user, at some point a alt-right tyranny that we will inadvertedly meme into being will go trough all our internet accounts and lock us all up in sissy training camps

but now youve been in the thread too so...

my dick

Here

vibrating toothbrush

...

LEL the bristle end

Why does Sup Forums constantly use the word "faggot" if faggotry is so common on here?

I used to use this glass perfume bottle, most smoothest thing ever and it was thick enough to not worry about.
Best thing in the past I used was rolled up TP and then hardened with water, repeat until you get a desirable shape and then cover it with a condom.
It would deform sometimes but I managed to stick quite large girthy ones up my ass, and its the closest thing to a penis in texture for a cheap cost.
If you want it big tho I advise to make the inner base out of like newspaper or something. Dispose or reuse whenever. I was able to reuse mine quite a long time until it turned a bit blue inside.