For a lot of people, heavy metal is today's real rock-and-roll--the music of the people--it's basic, it's rude...

For a lot of people, heavy metal is today's real rock-and-roll--the music of the people--it's basic, it's rude, kids love it, parents hate it. But a closer look reveals how stupid and delusory it is. Metal is not basic--it cultivates a pseudo-virtuosity that negates content. The values it promulgates are foolish and often destructive. Eighty percent of the "people" who like it are male and 98% of them are white.

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all of those things describe rock and roll music, too

He's 100% right about this too.
There's a reason he likes classical but hates Metal

stop chrisgauposting

In all seriousness, metal has survived with far more dignity than punk and alternative or whatever the fuck Cuckgau jerks off to.

what if i like classical and metal?

The only good metal is stuff like Iron Maiden in their prime desu

Is it possible to dislike metal and not come across as a soyboi like Christgau? He makes me want to start listening to it

Robert Christgau is an old man who jerks off to porn, reviews albums for a living, and hates people who have different opinions than him?

Is he /ourguy/?

There are metalheads in South America, Asia, even a bit in Africa. To say it's all white males is horribly misleading.

Nope. Better start listening

> Eighty percent of the "people" who like it are male and 98% of them are white.
>"people"

What did he mean by this?

All metal is Ersatz shit /thread.

Now let's use time wisely and talk about the true magnum opus of modern music "Da Drought 3" by my boy Weezy F

>a pseudo-virtuosity that negates content

Identity shit aside, this is spot-on at least in case of bands like Dream Theater whose virtousity is betrayed by sappy melodies (Answer Lies Within, jfc) and sophomoric lyricism. It's like a pulp writer trying to elevate his work with Elizabethan English. The result is neither pulp nor literary fiction. It's midcult.

At least he's not a pedophile like that other critic who shall remain nameless.

im guessing he's referring to stuff like metallica and pantera and not bands like btbam or gojira

Hey, not every rock lyricist can be Pete Townshend.

More like referring to glam shit.

robertchristgau.com/xg/vr/decline-118.php

I don't get the impression Christgau has ever listened to anything beyond entry level major label metal.

>actually learning to play guitar
>not just banging angry chords on it

>drummer isn't drumming in 4/4
>lol omfg not even hitting the bass pedal once per downbeat wtf

>bassist isn't just playing the same notes of the chords

>singer is trying to sing well and not convince me he's a sly trickster with an ironic smile
wtf is metal even music D- ersatz shit

Christgau literally rates music based on how much pussy he thinks the musicians get. That's his actual honest grading scale. Once you notice it, you won't be able to stop seeing it.

Eye opening.

I do think that a big part of the way he looks at things is as a failed classical critic in an ironic, post-modern age. What I mean is that he secretly thinks rock music is a second-rate, kind of shitty musical artform. So he *really* hates it when rock music tries to be good or be about anything other than getting pussy. He wouldn't admit it, but for him it's kind of like when your stupid friend who is fun at parties shows up to the party with fancy scotch and a book of poetry--like "No. Fuck that. You're a moron, not a sophisticate. Chug this beer and but this penis hat on your head. That's how you're supposed to be."

This makes a lot of sense. How does he evaluate riot grrrl acts though?

This applies to everyone but Bob Dylan, who he thinks is a great poet and artist who is deliberately ironically fucking around in a shitty inferior artform for the hell of it. In this respect he sees Bob Dylan as himself.

He's a male feminist so you guess.

That's what his review of Shout At The Devil seems to indicate anyway.

Him hating Rush proves it more than anything.

So is Zappa.
And Black Sabbath?

C , C- for Sabbath.

Ozzy Osbourne by his own admission said they only got the weirdest, grossest, ugliest groupies while the Rolling Stones were having sex with supermodels.

>This applies to everyone but Bob Dylan, who he thinks is a great poet and artist who is deliberately ironically fucking around in a shitty inferior artform for the hell of it
Him and Neil Young.

He was referring to 'music of the people' bit. Those mentioned 'people' consist of and so on.

does he have a source for those statistics

??
Punk's legacy is waaaaaaaay more respectable than metals

>cucks hate metal
It all makes sense now

Dirty Mind [Warner Bros., 1980]

After going gold in 1979 as an utterly uncrossedover falsetto love man, he takes care of the songwriting, transmutes the persona, revs up the guitar, muscles into the vocals, leans down hard on a rock-steady, funk-tinged four-four, and conceptualizes--about sex, mostly. Thus he becomes the first commercially viable artist in a decade to claim the visionary high ground of Lennon and Dylan and Hendrix (and Jim Morrison), whose rebel turf has been ceded to such marginal heroes-by-fiat as Patti Smith and John Rotten-Lydon. Brashly lubricious where the typical love man plays the lead in "He's So Shy," he specializes here in full-fledged fuckbook fantasies--the kid sleeps with his sister and digs it, sleeps with his girlfriend's boyfriend and doesn't, stops a wedding by gamahuching the bride on her way to church. Mick Jagger should fold up his penis and go home. A

>Eighty percent of the "people" who like it are male and 98% of them are white.

That's how you know Christgau never went to america. That place have more metalheads than any other place in the world.

>South america

Fixed, my bad.

N U M A L E

He's right you know.

>implying people who get laid listen to metal
>implying 90% of metal fans aren't angry virgin neckbeards

>things nu-males say

I don't like metal whatsoever but Christgau has made some shockingly ridiculous comments over the course of his career and if his website dissuades you from listening to an album by an artist you like on the basis of a poor review you're a fucking idiot. There is some merit in many of his A+ ratings though.

>I don't like metal whatsoever but Christgau has made some shockingly ridiculous comments over the course of his career

...And Justice For All [Elektra, 1988]

Problem isn't that it's more self-aware than Puppets, which is inevitable when your stock-in-trade is compositions rather than songs. Problem is that it's also longer than Puppets, which is inevitable when your stock-in-trade is compositions rather than songs. Just ask Yes. C+

Note that he has no actual criticism of the album other than complaining that it's too long.

Jesus can literally smell the fedora and unwashed $80 flannel behind the screen. Hope for OP's sake this is pasta/b8

newfag detected

...

>In this respect he sees Bob Dylan as himself

Bob Dylan is a genius and moreoever he does not look down on rock music whatsoever (if you listen to Theme Time Radio Hour you'll see this for yourself). Christgau is an anally retentive egotistical pseudo-intellectual. If he sees anything of himself in Dylan he is deeply mistaken.

He was right about Mariah Carey--her songs are just generic mall sound system music and she has absolutely no feel in her singing at all, it never transcends the mechanical.

watching tyrone enrich your girlfriend doesn't mean you're having sex, user

then you like pseudo-virtuosity and real virtuosity, it doesn't mean anything

metal is a global genre popular in many countries, south america and japan have big metal scenes.
Glam metal was very popular with women.
Once again some beta liberal cuck finds an excuse to hate himself

Dylan and Zappa both very smart guys who might have been poets or novelists in another time, they just happened to come up in an era and generation where the AOR format was the best way to get their message out.

Good thing for it too. I'm still not overly familiar with Frank Zappa's work but Bob Dylan's enriched my life in many ways, his music has got me through both the best and the worst of times.

>Glam metal was very popular with women

Strange, despite repeatedly shitting on glam metal, Christgau reviewed more glam metal albums than he did "real" metal like Ozzy, Maiden, Megadeth, etc.

>he thinks metalheads listen to Dreamtheater
I swear every numale with a shit opinion on this board has only listened to the most numale metal bands out there.

this

he is just some self hating liberal using his job as an excuse to virtue signal about how much he hates himself.
Poptamism is an ideology championed by yuppies who despise lowerclass white people and rock music.

There are metal bands from africa and the middle east, south america and asia

this idiot knows nothing about metal and is just pushing his political agenda

One of the forefathers of metal was a giant faggot wearing leather.

Metal is elitist but only against normies

The answer to that may be found in this puzzling excerpt from this 1991 column.

>As for metal, well, that's generational and there's more coming. I suppose us graybeards should try and educate ourselves, but it's like Balkan girl groups--I'd be a fool to try and like everything. Myself, I've always just grouped metal as an offshoot of hard rock, which wasn't always a metal-aligned category. To that end, I preferred the knee-jerk sexism of GNR I to the asshole existentialism of GNR II. I put James Hetfield out of his misery inside of five plays--life is short and I found it getting shorter with every song.

So basically, he's saying I'd rather have Whitesnake and Poison's cheesy cockrock than Metallica's macho whiteboy angst.

this guy is a poptamism, of course he would despise metal, metal is the antithesis of pop and metal heads fucking love it, they love making albums filled with death growls, pig noises, being the opposite of mainstream.
He has his own bias, seeing only the surface level.
But metal is the only genre where rob halford, Varg Vikernes, and baby metal could exist all at the same time.
Its a club house for freaks

So I wondered why Christgau didn't like Britney Spears...and then I figured it was because she's too white trash/working class for boho hipsters like himself.

Madonna for comparison was always popular with critics because she was, you know, artsy.

For a lot of people, indie is today's real rock-and-roll--the music of the people--it's basic, it's mild, kids love it, parents hate it. But a closer look reveals how stupid and delusory it is. Indie is indeed basic--it cultivates an ironic image that negates content. The values it promulgates are foolish and often destructive. Eighty percent of the "people" who like it are male and 98% of them are white.

hmmm

more like

>i miss hair metal because it was kind of poppy

Has he ever listened to any thrash/death/black metal? Those are the only real metal genres for the most part, I'll bet he hasn't even tried them.

poptamism is a classist ideology, you will notice a pattern of upperclass yuppies who use it as an excuse to shit on anything made by lowerclass white people.
Poptamism is capitalism masked as social liberalism.

>Madonna for comparison was always popular with critics because she was, you know, artsy

Nobody took Madonna seriously until album #3.

Actually Christgau was almost the only critic to get it right on her S/T. Most of them shit on the album for all different reasons--her vocals, the bubblegum lyrics, releasing a disco record in 1983. He was almost alone in seeing the potential there.

He can say whatever he wants, in the end of the day I'll continue to listen to metal because I like it
You guys care way to much about music critics opinion.

He got it right with Aerosmith, I'll give him that.

Yeah he was cool with disco unlike a lot of rockfags who had a gigantic chimpout over it.

Remind me why are we even discussing this guys opinions again?

*too
Of course the metal fan is too young to know the difference though.

Fuck off Sup Forums, your bullshit is not needed here.

I love that Korn review where he talked about poor-not-actually-abused Jonathan Davis.

Davis wasn't making it up to sell records, I'm just Saiyan.

>80% of the people who like it are male and 98% of them are white
I see nothing but a superior genre then

>instead of arguing the point, I'll just point a grammatical error
oh shit nigga you correct a grammatical mistake I made, you got me good this time, I'm such a dumb underaged faggot hahaha

this is the exactly kind of people who gives a shit about critics and can't stand someone enjoying music that they deem bad

"One time [Elektra] did a survey of the typical Motley Crue fan to find out what they're like. They found that our fans were white trash, gas pumpers, blue collar. Which is cool because so are we."

-- Nikki Sixx

the thing is they cant kill metal like they did with rock music

you cant threaten metal with unpopularity because that is what they want, they love not being pop music, they bask in being the opposite of pop

For a lot of people, Robert Christgau is today's real rock-and-roll critic--the critic of the people--he's basic, he's rude, kids love him, parents hate him. But a closer look reveals how stupid and delusory he is. Christgau is not basic--his reviews cultivate a pseudo-virtuosity that negates content. The values he promulgates are foolish and often destructive. Eighty percent of the "people" who like him are male and 98% of them are white.

I always take pleasure in the butt devastation of meal babies upset that Christgau would dare insult their mediocrity. Delicious

Say what you want about him, he was absolutely right about Journey.

Townshend is a pretty good lyricist though.

Even when her best album is the S/T.

The big 4?

this

He only reviewed one Megadeth album (and not their best one at that) while he reviewed at least a couple of Metallica, Anthrax, and Slayer albums.

christgau has great contempt for the lower class, especially lower class white people. There is a repeated pattern of this hatred in his criticism. Poptamism is a classist and capitalist ideology masked under a thin veneer of social liberalism. In reality it is just a hatred of lower class white people, music made by poors, and the embrace of consumerist culture through the championing of lowest common denominator pop music which is just a shallow product meant to extract wealth from the masses
Americans in particular lack a class consciousness, and have a hyper focus on identity politics, and poptamists champion the identity over quality of music.

You will notice after p4ks embrace of poptimism there has been a giant void of lowerclass voices or any music critical of capitalism.

And you feel in in humanity, people miss the authenticity of grunge or britpop.

Thats really what "le wrong genoration" misses, the authentic

>heavy metal is today's real rock-and-roll
>kids love it, parents hate it.
>complains on the lack of content and violence like an old man

>christgau has great contempt for the lower class, especially lower class white people

If you look at artists who have been consistent critical darlings like the Rolling Stones and Madonna, they're all artsy boho types who have a glamour image and hang out with celebrities. Think all the way to the early 70s when Grand Funk Railroad were shit on by critics due to their blue collar image and fanbase.

Nah the Stones Are all right

Christgau comes off as the stereotypical New Yorker who's never been outside of NYC and thinks there's nothing of any importance west of the Hudson River.

>tries to sound cool
>posts Cringe Geass