Need advice

Need advice.

Grew up and still am a poorfag. Bad relationship with parents as far back as i remember. They are bad people and ill just leave it at that.

Mom diagnosed with dementia and parkinson's. Dad cant care for her. He finds a live in care center for her, but the state wants everything. House, her life insurance, anything of value with her name on it.

Dad losing his shit, calls me and needs help.

Is there any other way? Does my dad have to lose it all? Ok, we dont like each other, but he worked his whole life for whar little he has and i dont think anyone deserves to lose it all just like that.

Seems hopeless.

Honestly, i wont lose sleep on it. But, nobody deserves to lose everything like that. Are there any options available besides sticking him with the job of caring for her while shes shitting herself and mumbling on about nothing 20+ hours a day?

be the better person user, I say help them,not for personal gain but to be a good person all around.

Plan on doing what i can. But, i have a family of my own now. Money-wise, theres absolutely nothing i can do to help.

Not looking to fuck them over at all...but there isn't much i can do.

Agreed. Before any edgy 10 year old stops by and tells you to kill yourself, I'd recommend you take this anons advice OP. Good luck

thank you good sir, sometimes we need to make a lil bit of good while we can, also
>>OP is a faggot
I love you OP have an awesome day regardless of your choice.

Dont know the first thing about dealing with this stuff though. Does my dad have any other options as far as what he can do for my mom/not lose everything in the process?

I try Google, but i dont even know where to begin... what do i look for?

Is my dad just basically fucked?

Me and the wife are heading out to help him check the place out my moms gonna be at.

Everything he has is in my moms name, so i dont know whats going to happen to him.

Its funny how hes learned to be nice now...huh.

A typical story in america. If you ain't trolling, just go with it. I don't see any other way. Try seeking help from a lawyer who gives pro bono.

What kind of lawyer would i look for?

Completely stupid when it comes to this shit.

I know where im posting and i know what to expect from people on here. I dont feel like blowing up my shit on fb or anything, thats why i came here with it.

Not trolling, just hoping to find some fags that have been here and done this that can give solid advice.

Not catching feelings or looking to start shit, just black and white advice if its available. Ive kinda figured this was hopeless from the time he called me.

this is America son.

this is what republicans have done to us.

democrats tried to end shit like this under Obama. republicans wouldn't help.

Ok, so its pretty much stuck at hopeless.

Well, thanks to everyone that took time to answer me. Im gonna go for now.

I just have to be there for him. What a fucked up set of circumstances this is...how do you give a fuck about somebody you dont even like?

I guess ill figure it out. Later Sup Forumsros.

Asking as a non american, why would the state be entitled to her stuff? as payment for the care facilty?
Could your father sell everything or put the house and stuff in his name?

I can't wait for my wife to get dementia. I'm going to trade her meds for sexz with the care giver. Shits gonna be so cash

samefag retard he asked for options not "yeah man just help them bro"

Exactly. Its a state run facility.

With the stuff in her name, he cant sell because she isnt of the right mind to legally sign off on things. Right?

Again, i know very little about any of this. Never needed to.

why not trade the wife in now for a newer model instead of waiting?

Hahaha! Whatever works for ya! Good luck with that.

Instead of suggesting you kill yourself I suggest murdering your mom.
If she has dementia and parkinson´s, her life won´t be that great anyways and she´s not even gonna know it.

Why don´t you stop being a faggot and take care of your mom yourself?
It´s gonna pay off in the long run (if she doesn´t live too long) because instead of the nursing home you´ll get all the moneyz with her name on it.
Bonus points for not telling the officials that she died when she did to cash in a bit more of her pension. Just put her in the freezter for a couple months.

If he was the executor for her, maybe, but that might be the reason her stuff forfeits to the state. I think you'll have to speak to a lawyer who offers free legal advice as the bare minimum.

I honestly thought about it. Me and my wife talked about that and both agreed its what we would want if it were us.

Cant risk my entire life for it though and im far from smart enough to pull that shit off. So, its simply not an option.

I mean legal advice. Try trusts and estates.

>Grew up

Did you really?

This is where euthanasia would help, but no we
can't kill ourselves because that would be illegal!

depending on how senile she already is shouldn´t be too hard, the real problem is if you could live with yourself.
I don´t think I could.


yes, and no. I am generally in favour of giving people an out/assisted suicide, however its a bit difficult with old people who don´t really know who they are anymore. The person needs to be able to make the decision themselves and I doubt that a really senile person can.

Take her Oregon
They got legal suicide

I dont even have an extra room i could keep her in. And im sure as fuck not wiping her ass and changing diapers. Fuck that shit.

But, i could probably get all kinds of state benifits if i did. Hmmm. I honestly never considered that route.

If it were to go down like that, the whole family would have to be in agreement to it. Thats the hard part.

Went thru that exact shit with father in law and grandma. Get an elder care lawyer. They can move money, legally, and do their best to save as much as possible. My mother in law was able to keep house and enough money to live off of. Without the lawyer, state would have took it all.

There's lawyers who specialize in elder care law. That's the way to go. As I understand it from when my step father went through this same shit, assuming that your parents are married, the state will take exactly half of their stuff to house your mom and leave the other half so that they have something to bleed from your dad once he gets to that point. If either of them served in the military, you should look into VA care as an alternative to the state facility. Neither is a 5 star resort but the VA home will be much nicer and the costs will be much less, near zero if they declare your mother 100% disabled

FUCK EM

they still need to take the decision themselves.

Well, then you´re a little faggot and deserve to lose your inheritance, if you´re not even able to wipe your mom´s ass. What do you think she did when you were little? That´s how it works in life.

Or let your wife do the shit-wiping part.

As far as the family is concerned: Tell your wife she won´t live for too long anyways and move your kids in with each other (if you have them) to free up a room.

OP here. I agree completely.

Get cancer.

>everyone saying to just help him

he's not asking if he should help he's asking how can he help you fucking dipshits

how did he work for everything in your mom's name?
where are his assets?

Seriously helpful! Wow, thank you.

Both my parents served, so its a definite option. And trust me, she is 100% disabled.

Dull the edge a bit faggot. Shit wiping will be the least of his concerns as the dementia progresses. You clearly have no fucking clue of the scope of the commitment involved in caring for someone literally 24/7. Old folks aren't 20lb babies that you can load into car seats when you need to run to the store and they don't sleep 12 hours per day. Either OP or his wife would have to quit their job to devote their entire lives to care for her

Well, the house and bank account is in both names. But, i think he has his car in her name.

Theyre in their 80's. Old school as fuck. Not too solid on the details, but i remember as a teenager, everything was always in my moms name from arguments theyd have.

The VA is a fucking mind breaking nightmare to deal with. Get an advocate. Be patient. It's worth it in the end. Odds are pretty good that the govt owes your folks a small bucket of cash for pensions and benefits that they aren't collecting. It'll take upwards of 2 years to collect it but it gets paid out retroactively from when you first apply

She already needs to be watched around the clock, so yeah.

She apparently got my 13 year old son alone and was telling him different ways he could kill himself and that she wants him to show her his dick. Not totally excited about having her live with me.

/r/financialadvice

Fuck. Thank you. Seriously.

Cont. also there's tax breaks that disabled vets get that your parents likely aren't aware of. For example, a disabled vet in NJ pays no state property tax.

Take her on a trip to Sweden

because i'm proud to be an American! where at least I know I'm freeee

Fuck yeah! Where else could a red-blooded insurance company earn $57billion last year?

I apparently have alot i can look into for them. Wow. I need to get on that shit.

This is exactly what i needed! I cant thank you enough, user! Im fuckin speechless!

I dont care about getting money from them at all. I honestly just want to be left alone and with the stuff youre giving me here, i can at least get them back to self sufficient. And off my ass.

I dont wish them any ill-will, i just want them to be able to take care of themselves and go back to ignoring me.

Fucking awesome.

Any time user. Just be patient with it all. Nothing moves fast when you're dealing with the govt. No fucks are being given by anyone working anywhere that you'll be dealing with. You have to be persistent and annoying enough that it's Worth helping you to get you to go away but not so annoying that it's worth being annoyed to watch you suffer

>Could your father sell everything or put the house and stuff in his name?
I know more about this then I want to.

The States have an option called "Clawback" wherein they can take any profit from your assets - ie. - selling your home UNLESS you put them into a Trust 5 years BEFORE you need the States service.

In my case my FIL wanted my wife's inheritance not to be touched by my Medicare [Federal]. Little did we know that the State [Medicaid] wanted it.

We did set up a Special Needs Trust Fund that Medicaid ignored until we got a Lawyer involved and told them to Fuck Off.

But they still have that Clawback option to try to recover any funds to our daughter that we can pass along to her when we take our dirt naps.

Capitalism son.

America's foundation.

Want to be a socialist? Move to Canada (seriously).

This. Forensic accounts are better at finding money than you are at hiding it. Don't fuck around with the money stuff. It's their game, their rules, and they're the referee.

Is America.... a great country?

Is it really the 'land of the free'?

Is there really an "American Dream for All"?

Is 'aimless shift-about' a position of need in the Canadian work force?

Pretty sure my parents have been on medicaid for a while now. Or, whichever one it is that the government pays for you. I think, anyway.

But, from what youre saying, its already too late for my parents to do that, right? I mean, she is full on, full out gone now. Just a psycho shell of herself. God knows how long she has. I doubt they have 5 years left before shes dead.

She could out live us all. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Look into getting her declared incompetent. Have someone assigned as guardian and fiduciary. And get her into VA care now

Definitely a priority.

If im correct, i dont think she served her full time. She had a curve in her spine and got a medical discharge or something.

I didnt serve so i dont know anything about this stuff.

What horseshit

This guy is correct regarding an elder law attorney. Also ask the facility your mother will be placed in for referrals to organizations that help in situations like this.

As for the money limites, it must vary state-to-state. I just went through this with my mother. My father got to keep up to $120,000 in cash and his home, because the assumption is that your mother will return home (that is ALWAYS the assumption).

But if my mother was a widow/divorced the limit on cash drops to $2,000 and the home gets a lien on it so that when she dies the state gets reimbursed for the care.

If he served then the govt will treat her like they would him. Super bonus benefits if he served in active combat. If they're Nam vets there's super duper bonus benefits for any possible agent orange exposure and pretty much anyone that stepped foot there had a possible exposure

Generally it doesn't matter whose name the assets are in. They are considered marital assets and all get applied to the issue.

My parents are still married, so that should work out for the better for my dad.

But like you said, im sure it varies state to state. Good to know though!

So there is a chance for my dad to continue on self-sufficient. Thats really all i want.

She is probably on Medicare and now with full-time help you need to apply for Medicaid.

Other user is correct regarding the 5-year clawback provisions. They don't actually claw it back. What they do is they look at the amount she gave away (let's say it was $80,000) and then they say that amount would pay for $8,000/month for a care facility. So your mother (father) would be responsible for the first 10 months of care, then Medicaid would kick in.

There are Medicaid annuities that your elder law attorney can look into. You take $x, put it in an annuity that pays for Medicaid care. The problem is that most insurance companies want you to be young when you but the annuity. My father couldn't buy one when he was 90.

I have no idea about their actual time in. Neither of them has ever spoke to me about that.

But, im glad ill be able to go to my dad with this info.

I think Sup Forums may actually be saving my parents quality of life! Holy fuck!

We screw up so many others that we need to do something decent now and then.

But let's not make it a habit guys.

True.

So now OP post tits or livestream an hero'ing and lets get back to some sense of normality.

Ok...heres where i start sounding stupid...

So, the amount before aid kicks in would be taken out of any inheritance? I have no idea if they have any to give. Besides the actual things they own, i dont think theres any liquid inheritance.

They live check to check and make due with as little as possible at all times.

Well, these arr obviously things to discuss with a lawyer from this point. No need to bother other people with that shit.

You dont wanna see my 40 year old, hairy tits!

Sadly, tits would be the correct description.

It seems like it is time for you to dispassionately assess what the actual extent of your parent's wealth is and go from there, because you clearly don't actually know the real figures.

Also, keep in mind that even the best nursing home is only going to check the inmate's diaper every 2 hours.

Let's say they have $5,000 in cash (bank accounts, savings, etc...) and a house worth $200,000. With both your mother and father alive neither the cash nor the house would be affected.

If your mother mother were to pass away and then your father needed Medicaid, $3,000 of the $5,000 would have to go to his care first (he keeps $2,000) and a lien would be placed on the house so when it's sold, the state could be reimbursed.

So to answer your question... yes, some amounts that are over the Medicaid limit would be taken out of the inheritance.

Like i stated in my original post, me and my parents have never gotten along. But, at the point in life theyre at, they are going to get my respect at minimum. What all of you have told me on here today, youve made a real difference in how i can approach this whole situation now.

Thanks to all of you.

Ill remember this for the rest of my life and i plan to pay this forward whenever im capable.

No problem OP. You're still a faggot