Ask a depressed Schizophrenic anything

Ask a depressed Schizophrenic anything

I may take a while to reply sometimes, be patient. Free (you)s for all posters.

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youtube.com/watch?v=nMewZkHMmqk
steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198039678589
youtu.be/Rx1ZA2SqFwE
youtube.com/watch?v=X-Mm75vKD94
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

oh shit schizOP! i was just about to message you because i thought there just wasn't gonna be a thread tonight. it's morning now, but you know. sleep cycle rotation and all.

What do you mean by Schizophrenic, exactly? Also, depression. Fun.

How are you today?

>What do you mean by Schizophrenic, exactly
Hallucinations, extreme bouts of Paranoia and Anxiety, hearing voices
Yea, I finally made it out of bed. I slept for a solid 15 hours
Empty.

Same schizo from the last two days also here.
I just finished season 2
My question is what's your main fascination with shinobu?

How do you cope?

Dude i was like wheres the schizotard today

>15 hours
shiit that's a lot. can't imagine you're feeling very good right now.

you again? still got the worst girl as your steam avatar?

>I just finished season 2
Enjoying it, I hope?
>what's your main fascination with shinobu?
Easiest way I can explain that
>qt as fuck
>500-year-old loli vampire
>bad ass
>Loyal
>qt as fuck

Just gotta take it one day at a time, and try not to get too overwhelmed.
Slept way too long today last night. kek
>shiit that's a lot.
Not even the most I've ever slept though. 15 hours isn't uncommon for me.
>can't imagine you're feeling very good right now.
Wasn't feeling very good when I went to sleep, woke up feeling worse.
>Worst girl
pls user. You know you wish you had a qt younger sister that wanted u're dick.

Shit, I hope your day today is a bit better. I'll do whatever I can to help you on that.

>Enjoying it, I hope?
Yeah, the dialog and character development is perfect.
>Loyal and cute.
Agree 100%

Crawling back into my hole... ttyl

Can you recommend me a good anime to watch? I've already watched bakemonogatari

Do you think this shit is top model? Pic related???

>Crawling back into my hole... ttyl
Have fun, catch you around.
>Shit, I hope your day today is a bit better.
It probably won't be, but thanks.
>I'll do whatever I can to help you on that.
Thanks, friend.
What kind of animu do you like?
Steins; Gate is a really good one.

What kind of shit do you see when you start hallucinating?

Anything especially creepy or cool?

Please gib a free (You) :3

I assume you eat anti-psychotics if not how do you cope?

When did it start, was it full blown or progressively worsened until you got a diagnosis?

What were your first symptoms you noticed?

A lot of questions but can't help curiousity.

I dont even ask anyshit in these threat just read confy asf

It probably won't be, but thanks
Yeah, that's what gets me. Having been in a position similar to yours, I know it's just soul crushing after a while. I wish you didn't live in Florida so you could appreciate the outside in comfort. That alone would help tremendously.

>tumbler
Fucking kys wtf dissapointed

pass a (You) here

Kina cute, but top model? no way.
I mostly see disembodied faces usually in windows. I see dark figures that stand in the doorways and stare at me. My own body feels and looks like it isn't mine.
I've got orders from the higher-ups to refuse your free you.
Request denied, ticket number 3411246
>I assume you eat anti-psychotics
I don't.
>if not how do you cope?
It's difficult to explain that in words. Easiest way to say it is to just take every day as it comes.
>When did it start
As far as I am able to tell, it's been like this since I was young.
>was it full blown or progressively worsened
It got progressively worse as I got older, around 20 was when it started to get really bad.
>What were your first symptoms you noticed?
The voices were some of the first things I noticed, I had the occasional hallucination too.
>A lot of questions but can't help curiousity.
No problem, anonski.

Thank for replying

Hope you get better.

Don't let Sup Forums too far into your head and take care.

Glad you enjoy it user.
>I wish you didn't live in Florida
You and me both, living here sucks. But even if I lived somewhere else I'd probably still be in the same boat.
Here (you) go.
You tell 'em, user.

>Thank for replying
Sure thing.

>Don't let Sup Forums too far into your head and take care.
Worry not, I enjoy Sup Forums's fucked up sense of humor.

>I'd probably still be in the same boat
Yeah, I guess the constant is still depression. Ultimate killer of everything that makes life worth living. doesn't really matter where. In my case, I made my living space just terrible. Room is all fucked up. I might have already told you. Maybe I'll post a few pics.

>solid 15 hours
welcome to the club. just slept 3 hours the day before though.

Anyway. Ever tried doing sport of any kind since a healthy body supports a healthy mind.

>Room is all fucked up. I might have already told you
I think we did have a conversation about that.
>Maybe I'll post a few pics.
You're welcome to if you want.
>just slept 3 hours the day before though.
The worst part is sleeping for 15 hours for like 3 or 4 days in a row.
>Ever tried doing sport of any kind since a healthy body supports a healthy mind.
When I was younger I did. That shit requires too much social interaction though.

>You're welcome to if you want
I might, later I guess

how vivid are your delusions/hallucinations?

How was your first gay encounter?

Story time b/c I want to say something about my night to someone... I just spent 5+ hours doing a transfer for a guy who was a walk in to my hospital, but we were full (like always..) he even drove a long distance to come to our hospital specifically.... He reminded me of someone who would browse Sup Forums a lot... and I felt bad it took so long to find another hospital to accept him.... a lil' bit of counter-transference too was a bitch... just wanted to get that off my chest and say I hope you're doing well..

>too much social interaction
At which rate it is too much interaction?
Putting on some headphones/in ears and go jogging through the forest, park, whatever doesnt require to speak with others at all.

Even going to the nearest gymn requires to say hello or grunt to the receptionist/trainer in ortder to get inside and/or asking how much longer the guy needs the equipment you wanna use now.

So drank a lot feel bad asf should i puke? I already ate i dont want to puke 100 bucks of drink and food what would you do?

Sky pls kys

Oh hey it's sky

No. Let the alcohol poisoning set in.

R8 my doggo m8

How big is he?

>how vivid are your delusions/hallucinations?
Hallucinations are really vivid for a few seconds, then once I focus on them they fade away.

The delusions can be overwhelmingly vivid in the moment.
>I might, later I guess
mkay.
I've only had one gay encounter. The details of which I cannot share.

You seem to empathize with people very easily. Hopefully, that guy is able to get what he needs.
>I hope you're doing well..
Not doing so well today.
>at which rate is too much
Just about any interaction is too much.
>Putting on some headphones/in ears and go jogging
There's nowhere to jog around here. I live in a shithole.

>Even going to the nearest gymn requires to say hello
Gyms also cost money, which I don't have.
>should i puke?
I don't know, should you? If you feel like you wanna vomit, then doit.
>what would you do
Not drink the alcohol in the first place. :^)
Cute, what's wrong with his right eye though? Did it pop out?

>I've only had one gay encounter. The details of which I cannot share.
we are all user her user. but if it makes you feel better you could use aliases or something

it's probably the same dicksuck story we've heard a million times anyways

What is the worst moment of paranoia that you have ever had. Please give details.

Hey schizo Sup Forumsro.
Hope you're doing well today.

Yo, was on your thread last time. (Faggot who asked about the wanking)
So you're telling me they can cockblock you anytime?
How does it happen? Is it legit like having voices inside your head, or is it more complex than that?
Have they ever driven you into doing something you didn't want to? Beating someone or some shut?

Watch every season.
I'm obsessed with Senjou.

5month
No, he is just kinda retard but i like him

I hope so too... his insurance didn't give the best options for quality treatment, but I think I got him somewhere ok...as not doing better today... I think sleeping 15 hours would mess with anyone, but I hope your track doesn't keep going down.

Yes, it is! I just got off work, but... am going to sleep. I'm moving furniture today and need some sleep...

What delusions (if you don't mind that word) do you experience and what do the voices say?

Did you touch his pee pee?

Where u from?

>>OP
Any good anime I should see?
I've already seen all Monogatari and Steins;Gate

Here I am. Please.

How do you get your money OP?

Aw, well, nighty night sky

>it's probably the same dicksuck story we've heard a million times anyways
It's not.

I was 15, he was 4. That's all the information you can get.
It's difficult to explain completely.
I was outside on the porch, talking to a friend. The wind blew just the right way, and just hard enough to feel like something ominous was happening. The first thing that popped into my head was "tornado". Then a white van drove by and I thought it looked kind of suspicious but I didn't pay it too much mind because I was focused on the weather, then it drove by again and I was 100% certain they were looking for me, and that the world was about to end, or some bullshit like that. It's difficult to recall exactly what I was thinking.
>Hey schizo Sup Forumsro.
Heya.
>Hope you're doing well today.
Not really, but it's not horrible.
>So you're telling me they can cockblock you anytime?
Theoretically, yes. If they distract me it can be a total cockblock
>How does it happen? Is it legit like having voices inside your head, or is it more complex than that?
It's exactly like that. It's like having someone else in your head thinking their own thoughts, that overlap your own thoughts.
>Have they ever driven you into doing something you didn't want to? Beating someone or some shut?
They have compelled me to do things, I wouldn't say it's something I didn't want to do though.
>No, he is just kinda retard but i like him
He's pretty cute, take care of him.

Was searching pics on google search.
Don't use tumblr..

You're loved. Despite how things may seem. I hope you find peace and some level of happiness that can be maintained.

>i wouldn't say it was something I didn't want to do
Hmm, are they (you) then? With little twists on your personality?
(My b if I sound retarded. Its because I prob am)

If you feel 'not quite right', if you want to know what it feels like to think straight and feel optimistic then visit this site and buy these probiotics.
Literally the cure to 'mental illness'. Peace.

Does your name start with an A?

>I was 15, he was 4. That's all the information you can get.
oh come on. i can get a little more.

Sleep well.
>but I hope your track doesn't keep going down.
It will keep going downward for a while. It's just how it goes though. Shoganai yo
>What delusions and what do the voices say?
My most common delusion is that I am from another universe. This is the third universe I've been to.
The voices usually just talk, I don't really hear what they say. It's like really quiet whispers, but in my head.
>(if you don't mind that word)
That's the correct word to use, don't worry.
>Did you touch his pee pee?
I'll leave it to the imagination.
kabaneri of the iron fortress
gakkou gurashi
What kind of anime do you like?
pls lewd user!
Social Security AKA autismbux

Yeah, it's autism king

What antipsychotics are you on?

He already said he wasn't taking meds.

weird the link didnt attach.
They are onto us OP
naturalsolutions.nz/?gclid=CN3qje7qydMCFdgjvQod8OMOxg

I'm sorry, are my images disturbing you? I could stop if you'd like, but I have very little safe for work artwork of your dearest.

>You're loved. Despite how things may seem.
I keep telling myself that. I just can't believe it though.

>I hope you find peace and some level of happiness that can be maintained.
Thanks user.
>Hmm, are they (you) then? With little twists on your personality?
That's a good way of putting it. They are me, and I am them, though "their" perspective on things is usually different than my own.
>link
Yo nigga I aint clickin' that
Nope.
>oh come on. i can get a little more.
You could, but that's all you get.
None, I avoid medication.

>I was 15, he was 4.
Goddamn, that's quite the situation.

I think i gonna puke im alone dont want to drown in my own puke feelsbadman

Mr. What do you always see? Or hear?

Do you get anxious easily ?
Panic attacks?
What kind of music you listen to, favorite artists/groups?
Do you "believe" in spirituality?

The same curious user here.

>that's a good way to put it
Thank you
I got to go, but I'm interested in talking more with you.
Is there any other way to contact yo ass besides random Sup Forums threads?

Do you hate being Schizophrenic?

Do you hate being retarded?

>I'm sorry, are my images disturbing you?
They're cute, but lewd! This is a Christian imagine board, user.
>I could stop if you'd like
You're fine, worry not.

>That vagina anatomy
What's going on down there?
>Goddamn, that's quite the situation.
Exactly why I left out a lot of details.
>I think i gonna puke
Then take your ass to the shitter and puke
Disembodied faces and dark figures are the things I see the most.
>Do you get anxious easily ?
Very easily.
>Panic attacks?
Never had a panic attack, but I get anxiety attacks.
>What kind of music you listen to, favorite artists/groups?
I like mostly electronic, and older dubstep
youtube.com/watch?v=nMewZkHMmqk
I listen to everything except country.
>fav artist
Shawn Wasabi
>Is there any other way to contact yo ass besides random Sup Forums threads?
You can add my kik: SchziOP

Or my steam: steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198039678589

Just trust me. You are.
Don't get too down on your situation. You're damn tough, and you do your best to take care of yourself. That's pretty amazing. You've got yourself and you're the best person to have.
Off topic but have you seen any good movies lately?

Thank you for your confirmation. You are a kind man (woman?). Do you like lewd images, user?

you got kik, huh. Didn't expect that.

As a fellow schizophrenic you really should get anti psychotics they help out a ton.
I had a lot of paranoia before i was hospitalized for the first time, my sister had to drag me into the hospital so they could start the medication.
After couple of weeks of meds the paranoia disappeared and only occasionally comes back.

Also the depression thing might be just the negative symptom of schizophrenia, you should look into it. after the psychotic episodes i get really depressed and
doctors told me it is because of the negative effects. Negative effects take away the joy and it feels like you can't do anything or feel anything towards anyone. They have driven me to attempt suicide 2 times in the last year.

>you can add me on steam or kik
Just sent you an invite on both.
I'm viciousslayer

Shinobu best waifu

Miss this part
>Do you "believe" in spirituality?
I identify as Pantheist, so I am fairly spiritual.
>Do you hate being Schizophrenic?
Hate is too strong of emotion.
>Do you hate being retarded?
I'm not retarded, but if I was I don't think I'd hate it on account of, you know being retarded.
>Just trust me. You are.
If you say so.
>Off topic but have you seen any good movies lately?
I haven't watched any movies in a few months.
>You are a kind man (woman?)
I don't think I'm that kind.
>Do you like lewd images, user?
I don't dislike them.
I made it for any anons who want to chat outside of the threads.
I'm sure they would help a lot.
I really dislike the idea of taking medicine though.

>Also the depression thing might be just the negative symptom of schizophrenia
I'm fairly sure it is. When my breaks first start it gets worse, then it calms down and when I finally come out of it the depression gets really bad.
Very much so.

So, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thankfully it's not as bad for me as it is for others, but it can be pretty rough. However, what I will say is that I prefer it to being "quiet." And that's kinda where my question shows up. Are you at least slightly familiar with DID? If so, with your understanding of DID and schizophrenia, what would you say the similarities are (there probably aren't that many)? Do you have, for lack of a better term, Imaginary friends? I ask because my other two personalities kind of coexist and help me, whether it be talking to me, talking for me, moving for me, or comforting me in various ways. Those sorts of things happen separately from a full "shift." Have you ever met someone who seemed to understand and share your pain? I haven't seen the other thread, if you don't mind, fill me in on whatever is necessary. Thanks for your time and well, bravery. It's scary for me to even admit an of this.

Do you masturbate? Sorry if I'm too straight-forward, but I dislike beating around the bush. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

/x/ here

how do you feel about lord kek and other paranormal entities? have you ever had contact with hallucinations/delusions that kept a consistency that made it seem like a real or dead person? Have you ever been puzzled with questions as to what certain hallucinations mean?

I believe that most schizophrenic delusions are when emotional parts of the monkey/core/inner brain begin to gain a type of consciousness that interacts with the reptile/back/bottom part of the brain as a secondary consciousness. To put in laymen's terms, people's emotions gain a form of sentience separate of your own.

I'm schizophrenic too, and I've managed to control my hallucinations to warp reality. My subjective reality where things don't work quite right will often be the one considered "right" by objective reality, as long as I don't do anything reckless and stupid with it.

The nature of quantum physics makes me think this is possible, as we've been able to prove that sub-particle space is able to be either observed or felt, but not at the same time (to explain further, sub-atomic particles can only be measured in mass OR motion, never both). So it made me think that observation has a lot more to do with the universe than we think, allowing certain hallucinations to work.

Also, a lot of secret societies have been working against me on /x/ to prevent people from knowing the truth. Shit makes people go bonkers, so I guess I understand why, but you people are already bonkers so observational truth affects you wildly differently.

Everybody masturbates, user. Having a mental illness doesn't change the fact.

I dislike medicine too but i have to take it.
I tried to quit it in last fall and the paranoia drove me nuts and i was dragged back to hospital after a struggle with cops.
Worst thing about medicine is that it cause numbness in your mind. things just don't seem to be as vivid as they are without it, but it's
better than the paranoia

Are you sure?

Psych docs can be wrong. My diagnosis has changed several times, and I was forced to see them quite frequently.

>Are you at least slightly familiar with DID?
I know a little bit about it. But I'm not extremely versed in all of its quirks.

>what would you say the similarities are
They're actually more similar than people realize, I think. I think it's why people often get the two confused. I don't know exactly where the similarities are though, as like I said I don't know too much about DiD.

>Imaginary friends?
You could call my voices imaginary friends, I talk to them, they give me "outside" perspectives on things. Help solve problems, things like that. but they have no control over my actions.

>Have you ever met someone who seemed to understand and share your pain?
I've met a few other Schizos IRL, and we immediately connected and understood each other. Without even having to convey verbally that we were Schizophrenic.
I've met a few people online that I am able to connect with on a deep level too.

>Thanks for your time and well, bravery. It's scary for me to even admit an of this.
Sure thing user, stay strong.
>Do you masturbate?
Of course.
>Sorry if I'm too straight-forward
>Sup Forums
kek.

Why do you consider yourself despressed?

Did you ever give in to the dick peer pressure

>/x/ here
How's it going /x/ylophone

>how do you feel about lord kek
I actually don't know anything about kek.

>have you ever had contact with hallucinations/delusions that kept a consistency
Hallucinations, no. But a lot of my delusions have to do with "paranormal" stuff, as it were.

The main one is that I am from another universe.

>puzzled with questions as to what certain hallucinations mean?
I'm sure I have, but I can't recall any specific occasions.

>To put in laymen's terms, people's emotions gain a form of sentience separate of your own.
That's basically how I see it. Except it's left/right brain becoming separate "consciousnesses" as you say.

>I'm schizophrenic too, and I've managed to control my hallucinations to warp reality.
I do this with a lot of my delusions, it really feels like objective reality conforms to what I believe and allows it to happen.

>So it made me think that observation has a lot more to do with the universe than we think
Observation is the key to everything.

>I tried to quit it in last fall and the paranoia drove me nuts and i was dragged back to hospital after a struggle with cops.
damn, sorry to hear that user. If meds is what you need to stay sane, that's what you gotta do.
>numbness in your mind
This is the primary reason I don't want to take them. I'm already numb enough as it is.
>are you sure
I am sure of nothing, user.
>Psych docs can be wrong.
That's just the nature of how psychology is practiced.
>Why do you consider yourself despressed?
Because I feel hollow, like a house without residents. Like a car without an engine.
Like a soul without emotions.
Nope, he never figured out the thing.

What about stuff like this: youtu.be/Rx1ZA2SqFwE

You sound like an interesting individual so far.

Is there a reason why you avoid medications?
I don't personally believe in them. I do believe they could work on a person who has severe problems.

Only thing I'm dependent on myself are benzos which is a shitty road, won't advice it. Good for anxiety, shitty in the long run.

A bit of rantish thing here:
I'm not diagnosed but not quite sure what I'm "suffering" from, I just put it on the anxiety.
But for example, I do get delusions. One time I was in the shower and believed there was a electric accident happening somewhere and I would get a shock from the shower, needles to say I left the shower. If I spot something weird on the products I buy from the grocery store, I might not eat it. I don't believe in the classic "they are onto me, and trying to kill me", just that something rare would happen to me.


Thoughts that are not mine, two "taunting/teasing" ones, but not in a voice, but I could distinguish them from each other.

Trust in my gut-sense too much to the levels I might just be a delusional psychic to myself. Might avoid going to the elevator one day because I don't want to get stuck.

Still could put the blame on anxiety and over-analyzing normal stuff. I don't necessarily want an official diagnosis for anything, I'm already getting cognitive-talk therapy as a treatment for my problems and being dependent on benzos is enough for me personally. The diagnosis makes things only worse. My experience has been that anything physical I have, Doc has put it on the anxiety and later diagnosed It was an actual illness after several months.

I just turned this whole thing self-centric.

>What about stuff like this
I enjoy some good trap. This is pretty good.
youtube.com/watch?v=X-Mm75vKD94

>Is there a reason why you avoid medications?
Side effects primarily.
>benzos
never.

>But for example, I do get delusions
Those seem like fairly normal worries.

>Thoughts that are not mine, two "taunting/teasing" ones, but not in a voice, but I could distinguish them from each other.
That's something you should have checked out. That's a bad sign.
>because I don't want to get stuck.
Use the stairs they're more healthy.
In all seriousness though, it sounds like you've got anxiety problems. Probably GAD.

>I just turned this whole thing self-centric.
It happens, don't worry about it.

...

why are you on Sup Forums?

I'm sure he'll be back waiting on the cute peen