What's the weirdest place you ever masturbated at?

What's the weirdest place you ever masturbated at?

the line outside a trump rally

Restroom in a school
I stopped being the janitor after I did it in a water fountain... at lunch break

I jerk it in my car while driving quite often. I also sometimes go to large parking lots and jack it and wait for girls to walk by and see.

In Sup Forums

In a forest

In Church

In my classroom

In church. I rubbed my dickhead through my jeans. And in bus i was alone in the back

Story plz

Aunt's bathroom probably? Was young, aunt had a milf friend over wearing a thong and tight jeans, bent over and I got a nice view of it. Yknow the rest.

In my car. Or my friends house while sniffing his mom's panties

Auswitch

in the train
In friend's bathroom
Next to a sleeping friend
Next to sleeping GF

checked and keked

Church. (so many times. sorry Jesus)

K

On my friend's roof, look out below...

at a church, standing at the preacher's podium, onto a bible
It was right after Hurricane Hugo and my mother was volunteering with the relief distribution. This church had volunteered use of their building for the food bank. It was a weekday and there was no one there but her (sitting at a counter waiting for people to come up) and me so I basically had a large multi-building church complex to myself to explore. I was 13 so I was very horny and very FUCKYOUGOD so I decided to prove that he wouldn't do anything to me even if I jizzed on the bible in the preacher's podium.

And he didn't.

In a restaurant. I regularly go out to dinner wearing vibrating buttplugs. Otherwise
Work
Train
Plane
Car
Public Park
Public swimming pool (I humped a plastic tube at a water park)
Forrest
Cinema
Shopping centre

>and so it was... an atheist was born on that day

Backyard at night. In an adult movie theater many times, also in their video booths.

On the couch in my aunt's den (family room) with her in the living room
>13 years old
>hormones in full effect
>fancy a quick wank
>aunt in living room, 20 feet away
>separated by 10 feet of wall with a walkway on each side
>can easily lean over a few inches to see her watching TV
>wank it hard and fast, shoot load in my underwear and some on my hand
>walk to bathroom without realizing how obvious it was I jerked off
>came out of bathroom
>aunt makes comment
>realize she knew 100%
>wonder if she was disgusted or intrigued
>30 years older than me but still wonder to this day

Geography class

>be me, between ages 5-10
>could produce an overwhelming sensation on my dick by climbing on doors, hanging on with a hand on each knob and the door between my legs
>move legs like I'm climbing a rope, orgasm in seconds, literally seconds
>no idea what this feeling was or why I liked it so much
>called it "tickling me penis" and did it daily in front of everyone
>grandma babysitting me
>tell her I can tickle my penis
>approach door, too short to get firm grip on door knobs
>stand on some canned goods for added height
>giving grandma verbal instructions on how to do this
>grandma continues to watch TV and does her best not to look at me
>she knew what I was doing, I did not
>reached orgasm "and that's it" I said to my grandma
>I masturbated in front of my family for years
>around 13, start jackin in with hand
>fully understand what I'm doing now
>think back to my childhood tickling of the penis
>cringe hard as I become aware that I masturbated in front of everyone as a child and no one had the heart to say anything to me or tell me stop
>cringe hard while typing this out
>know they remember

Jacked off all over the insulation at my old job

Auswitz you cretin

Iraq, in the drivers seat of my humvee while we were stopped on an IED cordon. It was dark and nobody could see my wandering hand. In the middle of it my buddy behind me handed off the radio mic and I pretended to be distracted by lights in the distance. I tried timing ejaculation with the blast warning sent by EOD but was off by a few seconds.

lol... you know kids just do this, right?

you heard the phrase "discovered himself"? basically that time in a kids life (prepubescent, often before the age of 5), where they just won't stop touching their genitalia.

kids have very little social etiquette because they don't know the rules yet.

Hey share blue

Underneath my landlord's house looking for a cracked floor joist.

yea lol, i just never heard of anyone doing it by climbing on a door. I was also surprised that I could orgasm so young but I read it's not uncommon.

yeah I think the functionality of genitalia as far as orgasms go is included when you get your equipment. but there's obviously no sperm production until puberty.

In a history lesson when I was ~12

Back of a car

Public park hidden by lots of trees

School bathroom

School welcome desk

Field at school hidden by lots of trees

In an alleyway behind my workplace

Workplace toilets

Sister's friend's bedroom into her underwear

Girlfriend's sister's bathroom with my dick touching her toothbrush

My friends house (got a handjob from my sister's friend)

The top of an empty double-decker bus

There's more but I can't think right now

Auto shop storage building in 10th grade. I found a stash of leather and whips mags in a cupboard and whipped it on out. just get done and the ugliest of the three girls in class appears out of nowhere while I still have cum dripping off my dick. I had to date her for 3 months to keep her quiet, but she did like to fuck so not a total loss.

that sounds like the plot to a hentai series I watched years ago.

That's hot

School, church, Boy Scout camp near other boy scouts secretly in my pants, Walmart, any bathroom, class. I literally jerked off everywhere and my underwear was always hard with cum when I was young.

I used to like dry dog it for hours until I bled. My dick blood scabs once molded to my underwear, and when I woke up I had to rip my dick scab to piss. I was retarded and didn't learn to spit on my dick till I was 12

Sounds like you have some mutilated dick issues.

On a plane, only did it for the shits and giggles really I was like 14 on a flight on my own

Also on a cliff infront of a rich housing estate while flipping the home owners off. didn't realise everyone in the carpark below could see me. very awkward walk of shame back to my car

It's fine. I got no scars. I once got a scab over my urethra which sucked. It caused me to pee all over myself once.

Walking in a lonley street at 2 am

In the bathroom of an Chinese restaurant, fuck knows why I just did what I did cause it do

Church baptistry. Naked. Went streaking around naked then shot my load and pissed in the baptistry. Crush got baptized the next day. Almost came watching her.

We still watch the video with smile on our faces. Hope to see you again at Ming's!

Why would you have to spit on your dick? Is it a cutfag thing? Serious question. Uncutfag here.

...

In the car
At work in the bathroom
At work in the pool equipment area that is semi enclosed
At work in the elevator room
At work on the building roof
Ex in-laws bathroom also fucked the ex wife a few times in same bathroom when over for dinner
Back yard in the middle of the day
The list goes on

Moisturizer

In the drivers seat of a fully loaded semi driving down the highway at 70mph.

I was about eleven, in fifth grade. I was in class, it was the most important test of the year. The time was almost up, children were giving their sheets to the teacher, but I hadn't finished. I was extremely nervous and somehow got an erection. I rubbed my penis (through my jeans, mind you) on the underside of the desk and ejaculated. My teacher was looking at me, waiting for me to give the sheet (but she was in front of me, so she didn't see me masturbating, I think). I still didn't finish the test, if you want to know. I think that was my first time masturbating ever.

I think I misunderstood the instructions: the teacher told us to finish the test, I probably thought we had to finish ON the test.

Sup Forumsump

Auschwitz you cretin

My gf jerked me off under my coat in the line for a ride at a theme park once.

Look at this guy with his girlfriend

>5 year old saying "oi mum me just ticklin' me penis"

kek

I jerked off in a vagina once.

Oh man, you're lucky your family doesn't bring it up to embarrass you...

Dude you're insane, somebody lock this guy up somewhere, how can you even do that?

> be me 13 y old
> climb tree
> nowwhat.jpg
> masturbate

>exhibitionist from early ages on
>love the attention

i'd say the weirdest place was on a very busy car park at age 13
between two cars, people walking past and no fucks given
remember a girl my age noticing and almost ripping her mom's hand off to keep looking
they pulled her away when they noticed what was going on