Hey b, I'm applying for a few jobs...

Hey b, I'm applying for a few jobs, and I'm worried about the chance that I'm gonna get one and then they test me for weed. I don't smoke very often, I did 2 hits off a dab pen April 14, 1 hit from actual weed on 4/20, 2 hits last night and 1 this morning. I won't have to take the drug test for a while, a month probably, but I'm wondering if I'm probably in the clear.

what shit job needs a drug test, poorfag.

We smoke weed in the office all the time, highstress job.

Stop smoking and you should be fine in a month. I was a very heavy user (8th every 3 days+1g shatter every week or so for a year) and it took me 50 days to pass a piss test.

I don't know, it's fucking stupid. It's complicated but basically I'm gonna be set up with a couple opportunites and I'll probably apply to all of them and work at wherever accepts me. I really have no idea which places are gonna be my choices so I don't know if it's even likely I'll even have a drug test

You're good OP,that shit was out of your system in a week. Heavy use is what you have to worry about. Grab a cheap test and check it out. You can buy them at cvs

Also I hydrate super well and run/lift every other day so I was sweating it out about as good as I could have.

Yeah but I smoked yesterday and today, but it was only 2 and 1 hits respectibaly. I guess I'm fine though? If it helps, my tolerance is always low as shit and I only ever need a few hits until I'm snacked af, because that's how infrequently I smoke.

Drive the water into you for sure. Those detox kits are detectable nowadays. Some guys I worked with would tape hot water bottles full of someone elses piss to their stomachs and pass em that way.

Fuck, this is what bothers me, everyone has a different opinion on the time frames, I wish I could know for sure.

OP can't even plan ahead.

Face it if you're having this much trouble choosing between smoking weed and being employed you might as well not apply.

dont smonk for 3 week before the test
drink lots of water day of

The current version of Quick fix isn't detectable. Passed a test with it a couple weeks ago

What the actual fuck ? are they allowed to do that in murrica ?
What a shithole, what i take or not take in privat should be none of theyre business

>Muh land of the free

Good to know

I've heard three weeks at least but varies by person. The "safe" amount of time for me was always at least one month.

I always just buy flasks of synthetic urine to substitute when I go take the test.

You'll be fine dude. Drink a gallon of water a day and excercise to get your metabolism up. Just don't smoke anymore.

There is fake pee u can buy

>opinion
Retard detected
THC stays in your system for 3-90 days. It's different for everyone for reasons that are not fully understood. The only way to know where you will fall is to smoke and then test your piss. You can either run the experiment multiple times and narrow in on the exact month, then week, then day that you'll be safe (the cheap way), or you can test your piss daily until you pass (the expensive way)

I knew that dude. I guess I wanted a range

>I guess I wanted a range
3-90 days

How do you keep it warm? They check that shit where I go.

I microwave it for about ten seconds, then slap an adhesive heating pad to it. I use medical tape to tape it to the inside of my leg so it is resting comfortable between my balls and my thigh.

Yeh bro if you have a month you're fine just definitely don't smoke again and do lots of exercise because THC is stored in fat cells you can just burn it off. That and staying extremely hydrated is the cleanest and easiest way to flush your system in that long a period.

This, anons, is how it's done.

Do this if you don't think you'll pass.

Yeh I'm sure Wendy's must get pretty busy around meal time

>mfw swede commie, greasy spic, or some German who can get arrested in public for insulting someone will never grasp basic micro-meritocracy
feels nice

I never understand why people waste their time with trying to flush their system or buy those detox kits when for less than $50 you can guarantee that you pass a drug test.

Here's an idea: maybe if you're applying for jobs and know you might be drug tested, stop doing fucking drugs?

>Hurr durr ur poor
>I'm rich and successful yet I'm on the most autistic cancer website there is

You're fuckin retarded bro kys

If you're perfectly comfortable allowing your employer dictate what you can and can not do in your own time then by all means.

>highstress job

I'd rather piss in a cup and make decent money doing what I love rather than commute 5 days a week and work 8 hours at some fucking desk answering a phone.

...

Americucks making up imaginary situations to rationalize they're shitty country.

OP I've been off weed for 2 months trying to find a job, here is what you do

>go two weeks without it
>buy a cleanse or some bentonite clay
>piss a lot on one day of taking the cleanse
>then wait a few more days
>go to CVS and buy a weed test kit, they are cheapest but you can get a multi-panel one if you want that test everything but there is really no point since everything else is out of your body in 3 days
>test your piss for weed
>read the directions cuz the one I just took made it seem like I was poz when i was neg
>if you are clean (and you should be) then no worries, stay off the tree and find your job
>if after the cleanse and weeks and pissing you are not clean then you are probably a fat fuck or have a shitty metabolism
>then you must walk and sweat for like 3 hours a day, for 4 days, then test it again

ALSO when you test it dont be on a cleanse or drinking a lot of water because that will maybe screw with the results, you want to know

That's what they pay you for!

It's a matter of safety. I wouldn't want some fucking guy high on dope or drunk where I work. Neither would my company. It's far too dangerous.

My employer most certainty does not pay me so he can dictate what I do in my free time. I don't come to work high and that's all that matters. What I do at home in my time is my business and none of his.

this was posted on Sup Forums yesterday figured it belonged here

also do not take this advice

Protip from a business owner: I'm 100% serious BTW...

Lie on your resume. Literally everyone does it. In fact, it's so standard that your potential employer will think you're a dummy if you don't do it.

Seriously m8. Lie. Customize your experience to whatever job you're applying for. Listen to me, leaf. I know what I'm talking about in this one area of life. Lie early and lie often.

Do it cunt. I promise you

I used to work a shitty gas station job and the lady that was my boss always thought i was high, once she told me to look her in the eye becuase it was 6 am and i was tired, so the next day i just came in blazed and she didn't notice, started coming in high every day, then I got my friend to quit on the same day as me so this bitch had to work 18 hour days

see i ran the place and kept it open all day, came in on my days off because everyone else would just ditch out, and i was getting a promotion, but with my promotion was supposed to be a raise, and she told me it wasn't going to happen, so I just stopped coming in for like a week, she needed me so bad that after that week she still would have let me work, but no raise, so i let her work the counter from 6 am to 10 pm, then 2 hours of mangerial work after that

What do you think they'll do when it's legal? I figure they won't change the rules too much.

>What do you think they'll do when it's legal?
In some of the legal states business have already had to stop drug testing for pot as long as you're not applying for work using heavy machinery and stuff like that.

I see.

I work directly with heavy machinery and radioactive hazards in a plant constantly at my job. They're pretty strict about the testing.


We get tested for everything and swabbed annually to be allowed into the worksite.

In that instance then it is prudent that they drug test. For employment in other jobs it is less important.