Chris Collinsworth thread?

Chris Collinsworth thread?

"Sometimes, as I see Brett Favre manipulate that ball with the grace and elegance of a falling flower pedal, a few drops of precum leak. I now wear a sock around my penis to compensate for this,"

- Chris Collinsworth

"I shook Cam Newton's hand at a press conference three weeks ago, I haven't washed it since, and masturbate with it daily."

- Chris Collinsworth

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW"

- Chris Collinsworth

"There have been times where I lose my train of thought, and begin to touch myself inappropriately to the thought of Russel Wilson filling my rectum up like a gas pump."
- Chris Collinsworth

"UOOOOOH WAOOOOW DID YOU SEE THAT?"

i cannot stand his little thing he does when they are replaying a close play that is going to be reviewed.
>lets look and see
>the ball comes out
>knee is jussssssssst touching the ground

"Jerry must be thinking of taking a leap of his own right now"

- Chris Collinsworth

Any of you winners going to bother to spell his name correctly? It's Cris.

Oops

"Jerry must be thinking of taking a leap of his own right now"

- Cris Collinsworth

Here's a guy...

"Traps are gay"

- Cris Collinsworth

is he big?

"I dream of Tom Brady deflowing my daughters on a nightly basis."

- Chris Collinsworth

Worse than joe buck senpai's

"I will admit that I've stolen a jock strap or two in my time".

-Chris Collinsworth

"Everything I do or say is to express overreaction and great admiration to the players. I am the PewDiePie of the sportscasting world."

- Chris Collinsworth

>And that's the first reception by Cole Beeeeeeasley, and it's just short of the marker

-Al "purple hair" Michaels

American "humor"

He has GOB Bluth voice tbqh lads. Kinda looks like him too.

>close play happens
"WOOOOW, that's a close play Al"
>replay
You know Al, it's close but it's definitely X
>refs rule Y
If you really look closely Al, it really is Y, these officials got it completely Y.

Collinsworth is the ultimate Goy. I can't remember the last time Chris wasn't slurping on the refs' dicks.

>last time Chris wasn't slurping on the refs' dicks.

I am 100% certain they tell the commentators not to be too questionable about a call. I remember when the ref scabs came in and the announcers were shitting all over any mistake no matter how minor it be.

do you guys not like Collinsworth?

i think Al Michaels and him are the best announcing duo for NFL

"Now here's a guy who can make my wiener wet by just catching a ball. I wish I could have made a commentator cream his jeans like that back when I played"
-Cris Collinsworth

Him and Chucky are my favorite commentators right now. I agree about them Chris and Al being the best team though.

Fouts and eagle are the best commentators in the nfl
Buck and aikman are god awful

buck and aikman are awful

i have no idea why they would put two boring flat voices together, they might not be so bad if they mixed them with more emotional outgoing announcers

yeah, like the guy in $9000 suit is going to be calling a thursday night game. COME ON!

I'd prefer Mike Tirico

Also Gaudin and Davis are criminally underrated

FRIENDLY REMINDER: Mike Tirico, to this day, claims he is 100% Italian and he has no idea why (((his father))) left his mother when he was born.

Why do you care? Let him believe what he wants if it makes him feel better. There's no harm to it.

hating on Colinsworth is a thing? i think he's a great color commentator.

Collinsworth and Gruden are the best.

Al Michaels/Jon Gruden would have been the best possible commentary team right now. Too bad Disney traded him to NBC for a fucking rabbit.

"I just can't decide which spermicidal lube I love best. They're all wonderful."

- Chris Collinsworth

>Al Michaels and him are the best announcing duo for NFL

I was just thinking that on Thursday night. Man Al Michaels is so chill, and Cris does add good color.

I also agree with that Chucky is the shit. Chucky is so legitimately excited by football.

I read an interview with Tirico I think it was.

Apparently part of his deal with ESPN was they had to buy him a super high tech film studio and install it. It's in some warehouse/tech park type place in an industrial park in Florida somewhere and sometimes he'll call his fellow sportscasters at like 3 am to to babble excitedly about something he just saw on film.

Definitely a little out there but you can't deny his passion and entertainment value.

BTW holy shit when you do a google image search for him so many good images come up.

al and cris are by far the best out of all the callers.

they have personality but not enough to distract you from the game

they get along great and you can tell from the way they talk

good info about the players and the plays

they're great.

>it's a Cris Collinsworth or Al Michaels discuss Pro Football Focus in a positive light without disclosing that Collinsworth owns PFF episode

"The black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way, because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs and he's bred to be the better athlete because this goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trade … the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid …"

-Chris Collinsworth

wanna fuck his dilf shitter so bad. fuck.

John Lynch > every other color analyst

>flower pedal

>Falling flower pedal
>Flower pedal
>Pedal

brit makes observation about dumb american
< american must agree with brit to not feel like a dumb american

haha

>Jamal Charles fumbles the ball
>camera captures him taking his helmet off, hitting the bench with it, before putting it back on
>"atleast he can hold onto his helmet"
>thread errupts to NANTZ BANTZ

you're not like the rest of them

...

Is it Al and Chris calling tonight's game, NBC's B team (Tirico/???), or some NFLN team?

I understood that reference.

Tirico/Flutie

no fucking way that is true. maybe thats the recipe for human level black people.

everyone shitting on collinsworth
>fuck ya'll he does a good job.

now the fucking NIGGER EX NFL PLAYERS on every station is what kills me
>Deon Sanders, Irving, (insert any RB, LB, WR, CB, DE here)
>talking over eachother, hooting and hollering, talking more about themselves, any opening about money, clothes, area, alma matter, SWAG SWAG SWAG, and they go off the rest of the segment while the actual commentators are trying to keep to the script and hype the game
>I like tiki barber though. he was great. the bus and a few other guys are doing a good job.