I need to cut off a good portion of my pinky finger on my right hand. How do I do it as painlessly and safely as possible?
Here's how I'm planning to go about:
1. Make some form of hand guard. (I'm right handed and will be drunk so I might not be too accurate if I swinging with my left, and I really don't want to have to lose any more fingers then I have to.)
2. Affix hand guard to stump.
3. Get liquored up.
4. Call 911 and tell them I injured myself prepping some firewood. (It might be a bit hard to dial afterward and the call will keep me committed.)
5. Sterilize the hatchet I plan to use.
6. Chop the digit off.
7. Toss hand guard and severed digit over fence. (Don't want them trying to reattach it.)
How's my plan Sup Forums? If you have a better lemme know.
Also, have you lost a finger? If so how bad did it hurt?
Isaac Carter
Why?
Blake Green
Don't worry about it.
Aiden Brooks
This is retarded.
Wyatt Jones
wtf do you need to lose a finger for
Thomas Martin
How so?
Don't worry about it.
Henry Morales
1. pain meds 2. put hand in ice to numb it 3. cleaver or butcher's knife 4. be fast and decisive
Jaxson Wood
>I need to cut off a good portion of my pinky finger on my right hand. How do I do it as painlessly and safely as possible? Don't worry about it
you don't tell us, you don't get help
Logan Foster
Helpful.
Logan Allen
I'm not good at poker, don't worry about it, buddy.
Jason Butler
Livestream or video it.
Thomas Russell
I'll make a webm when I do it.
Adrian Walker
Post pics
Jonathan Scott
Sure, buddy.
Parker Nguyen
Alright folk revised plan:
1. Make handguard. 2. Get Liquored up 3. Affix handguard to hand. 4. Mark finger with sharpie. 5. Ice finger. 6. Sterilize TOMAHAWK! (it's pretty rad.) 7. Choppy.
Thomas Wright
I'll give you one weird trick doctors DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW if you just tell us why you have to do this.
Gabriel Parker
Might even take some practice choppies if I'm feeling extra safe.
I'm bad at poker, don't worry about it.
Jonathan Gray
What do you think they're going to track down your posts on Sup Forums or something? Just say why faggot.
Also, it'll help to get some anesthetic and inject some near the knuckle where your pinky starts.
Carter Martin
How in the shit do I get local anesthetic? Also I'll only tell you if you get dubs.
Evan Perez
You ever play Heavy Rain?
Jeremiah Myers
Is nobody gonna check'em?
Cooper Garcia
I did already. Also, you can order it pretty easily. If you're too retarded to find sources just use Lidocaine. You can it for topical use at any drug store. It won't help as much, but it's better than no anesthetic.
Jaxon Diaz
It's a sign boy's.
Christopher Gutierrez
Post pics of tomahawk
Julian Walker
It's pretty rad. One sec.
Eli Murphy
>this fucking faggot
Seriously. Cut it off and go fuck yourself.
Everybody asking why... the answer is "i'm an attention seeking faggot with severe unimaginable autism"
James Bailey
This, OP is a faggot.
William Sullivan
Why you gotta be so aggressive bud?
Easton Wilson
I'm just looking for advice buddy.
William Gomez
you realize you can bite your finger off right
Jordan Cruz
dude that way fucked up.
Just put it in some bolt cutters or tin snips and drop a brick on the handle.
Snipo bingo bango
Joseph Jenkins
I fail to see that as an option friendo.
Christopher Gutierrez
Your best bet is to find a way to get a cleaver resting right where you want it to cut, the bang the top with a rolling pin or mallet.
No swinging a blade like a madman, pretty much guaranteed success with one hardy swing.
Zachary Perry
OP is a fucking tease. I dont think hes going to do it
Christopher Russell
what do you mean that isn't an option just stick your finger in your mouth and bite down as hard as you can between the joint
Henry Anderson
This is some LARPing Yakuza shit, right? What a loser.
Ethan Gutierrez
Tie a rubber band tightly af around the pinky, to cut off all blood flow. When it starts to tingle from being fugged with you're almost ready to chop. Might as well make the rubber band very close to the chopping area. Also if you're on any sort of pharmaceutical pain killer it will make it much easier as well.
Protip.
You'll have less blood to clean up also. And don't keep the rubber band on for too long, real tight for like 15-20 minutes tops and you should be ready for it.
Isaiah Clark
Can't you just use a pair of scissors to cut it off?
Luke Flores
I'm not larping nor am I attention seeking. Just trying to cut off a finger and I don't have a good enough explanation.
Nolan Ramirez
Be careful with whatever knife you use as well, fuck scissors, and ideally use a paper cutter. Paper cutters are super precise.
Andrew Scott
This thread is full of bad ideas and poor thought out suggestions. But without a doubt you have the single stupidest suggestion of all of Sup Forums. That would be a major achievement if you weren't the runniest of turds in a cesspool. Congrats idiot.
Cooper Gray
Oh shit, a paper cutter would be perfect!
Isaiah Stewart
>having a dismemberment fetish pics or didn't happen
Ayden Moore
1. Get pair of gloves and cut off pinky finger 2. Go to Antarctica 3. Finger will come off due to frostbite
Nathan Perry
Thank you kindly. Also stop taking shit so seriously.
Ethan Moore
whose taking shit seriously? lol, get bent
Kayden Jackson
Excuse me asshole, I was able to cut off my own dick with a pair of scissors, why wouldn't this work for a finger?
Xavier Ward
Nah man if I'm honest I have lost a portion of the finger previously and it looks fucked. I'd rather it looked like I lost half a finger than have a snake tongue esque split in my finger.
Jackson Bennett
the just bite the thing off, you have more chance of fucking it up by trying to eyeball where to slice it >do you really want to shatter the rest of your finger with the weight of a blade
you have no idea how easy it is to bite off your finger
Aiden Foster
>Sup Forums the post.
Michael Nguyen
Do you speak from experience, bud?
Evan Cooper
Aren't you supposed to cut it with a knife in front of your Oyabun ? Damn Yakusa are really becoming sissy.
Hudson Powell
yes
Jose Howard
0 proof op is the faggiest fag alive
Tyler Sanchez
Fuck off with the yukuza shit. They do it to endure pain and effectively cripple thier ability to fight with a sword. So why would I larping or otherwise want to do it painlessly and safely?
Julian Lopez
I'm not doing it tonight. I could show you the Tomahawk it's pretty rad, but it doesn't prove much.
James Peterson
If you didn't dishonored your clan, why the hell do you want to cut your finger in the first place ? Are you legally retarded or something ?
Joseph Rogers
If you're trying to be a Yakuza you have to just bite it off and eat it. Otherwise they'll just laugh at you as a pussy.
Have a torch burning nearby to cauterize the wound so you don't bleed out and don't be surprised if you go into shock and die at any point in the process. Saying that pain can't kill you is total bullshit, about 20% of major wound deaths are from that alone.
Nathan Ross
Are you too retarded to read through the thread, friendo?
Nathaniel Murphy
Do I need to make a fuckin sticky? Read the thread, guy!
Henry Edwards
...
Leo Roberts
I told ya it was rad.
Aiden Wood
99% sure this is b8 thread based on Tarantino scene in the movie 4 rooms.
Nice try OP, but you're still a faggot
Jordan Anderson
Nice try? You think I haven't won?
Noah Rodriguez
OP's gonna fuck it up
Hunter Kelly
Fucking knew it!
Cameron Foster
Well part of my plan was to get drunk and cut off a finger so I don't know what you expected.
Justin Diaz
you're right, OP is always a faggot
Wyatt Howard
If you're trying to join the assassins it's the ring finger you're supposed to cut off.
Parker Wright
Nah man. Call the ambulance, sterilize your tools and such. All that's okay. Don't use a hatchet. Use bolt cutters positioned at the joint. Also tourniquet. Maybe put the severed bit in the freezer or something, make a necklace with it or something.
Cooper Miller
Read through the goddamm thread, buddy.
Michael Price
this is not heavy rain, child.
Cameron Gray
Thank you it's been awhile since I've gotten advice, mostly I've gotten people who think I'm larping and people pretending to be me.
Owen Flores
Oh better idea. Put your severed finger in a bottle of strong liquor. Keep switching it from bottle to bottle as you empty them. Use it like the worm in tequila, but way more bad ass.
David Wright
Tie a string around your finger and a door knob. slam the door. It will come right off, no pain!
Benjamin Adams
>thinking the finger biting advice wasn't advice have fun
Matthew Flores
That's tits.
Michael Gutierrez
squishing it slowly with a bolt cutter is definitely better than chopping fast with a hatchet. and it definitely hurts less.
Benjamin Adams
Nigger am I supposed to take that as actual advice?
Oliver Martin
yes I am
Christopher Bell
Really? That seems like it would be worse.
Andrew Martin
You've never used bolt cutters have you. Get them into position and one good whack to the handle and it's over. Hatchet has a high miss chance, hit the bone and you have to swing again, but your in pain and losing blood so you have an even higher miss chance.
Nathan Sanchez
Right, that makes sense. I have more thinking to do.
Easton Rivera
nigger you don't even know about the basic principles of physics, why do you think anons want you to use a bolt cutter on the joint itself
i hope you do this with a hatchet instead because you're being a double nigger
Jace Wright
Haha although my goal should have been proof enough that I need to think some more, eh?
Grayson Nguyen
didn't get the irony, huh?
you have a shit hatchet if it doesn't cut a pinky bone try some out of the kitchen, sharp as fuck, works for chicken, pork and cow, works for humans too.
also, squishing it causes bones to splinter and whatnot, the hatchet goes through in a nice cut. where i live bolt cutters have a pretty blunt edge, with like 45° angle, it works for forcing metal into two parts, but not meat and bones.
Gavin White
fucking do it pussy
Ryder Ortiz
Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize not biting my finger on the advice of some user had anything to do with my understanding of physics.
Leo Young
Yeah, use bolt cutters or a tree trimmer like in the pic attached. These guys can cut through thick branches like butter, I don't see why it won't cut off your finger
Dylan Moore
The fuck? Nah I like my fingers thanks. Also "double nigger" does that fact that I know who my dad is reduce that to single nigger? I'm legitimately curious.
Grayson Torres
So does the tomahawk but the tomahawk has the distinct advantage of being rad as fuck.
Nolan Nelson
That's why you position them at the joint.
Nicholas Johnson
numb it by cutting off circulation first itll piss soo much blood tho
Blake Rogers
You make a compelling argument.
Jayden Cooper
double niggers
>asking how to cut off a finger >asking how to cut off a finger safely >not knowing how fingers work >not knowing how joints work >not knowing how force works >not knowing how pressure works >implying not knowing about physics enough isn't preventing the successful severing of a finger >reading about tying off the finger >thinking about swinging a hatchet drunkenly and getting a bullseye >implying severing one chunk of matter from another chunk using force doesn't have anything to do with physics
Camden Myers
Everyone ITT
Charles Watson
And with that I take my rest. Goodbye everyone, it was awful.
Oliver Evans
I'll see your double nigger and raise you. Triple Nigger and Half a Spic.