I'm sad and lonely and trying to pass the time so

I'm sad and lonely and trying to pass the time so
Ask someone with Borderline Personality Disorder anything

Its 437am, why arent you in bed?

with your own words, how would you describe Borderline Personality Disorder?

Do you like steamy Andy Sixx's logs of shit?

why do you keep using anime pics for these threads?

Mayo chiki lover and borderline too. I think I love you in my madness

It's only 9:41 pm here

Emotional instability. I have rapid mood swings that can last from 1 minute to 2 hours. It feels like I have an entirely different personality for each mood, especially when I'm angry. When I'm angry I lose control and go out of my way to hurt others. When I'm angry it feels like a whole other person has taken over and I always regret losing control afterwards. I can have periods where I feel completely numb and then I have periods of such intense emotion you can't even imagine. I absolutely hate being alone and that's why I made this thread. I have huge trust issues and think that everyone is going to leave me alone eventually. Theres a pile of other stuff that I can't think of off the top of my head and I suppose that's another symptom: Bad memory of certain things.

Nope hate that stale meme

who are you today?

I dunno what else to use.

It's ok user I love you too. I love Mayo Chiki because it has stuff that I will never have like a cute gf

how do you know you have it?

have you tried to get therapy? i know there is huge discrimination against bpd among clinicians.
what wold be the best way to go about helping someone with bpd?

I'm not sure, I'm fluctuating between two. But Sup Forums helps bring out my good side

I loving have a cute gf but I'm always rejected

People with borderline are awful to deal with. The syndrome is characterized by a pervading NEED to be the center of attention. They're especially fun when they're around people with more relevant mental disorders, cuz then they try their damnedest to act like they're crazier

If there's a cutter, they'll start cutting themselves and talk about/show off their cuts every possible chance. If someone has an eating disorder, they'll start acting like that too

Basically the most obnoxious, middle-class white people-iest of mental "disorders"

I was diagnosed with it for meeting all 9 criteria at one stage. And I'm studying psychology myself a little in my spare time so I knew what it was prior to my diagnosis

I'm too anxious to seek therapy. I'm too anxious to let my family know that I have it too and they would most likely find out if I started going to therapy

cheer up maynnn, there are plenty of people that would love to help you!! you just gota get out n meet em :D

cool what are those 9 criteria? maybe I have it too

Same here buddy :c

I hate being the center of attention but I do like some attention, I find people love to brag about how many times they've attempted suicide more than I like to tell people I've thought of it which makes me sad that everyone else has to be so competitive over something so ridiculous. I once had a friend who would cut herself, I didn't start cutting too, I tried my best to stop her from cutting. It is obvious you have no idea what your talking about, BPD patients hate to be a burden to others.

go to any cheap pharmacy and buy mood stabilizers. from what you are telling, that's what any professional would recommend you

Were you medically diagnosed by a doctor, or are you one of those self-diagnosing, special snowflakes?

It's hard to get out of my little social bubble and meet these people

To put it simply
1. Fear of abandonment / Frantic effort to avoid being alone
2. Unstable views of others / Unstable Relationships
3. Distorted self image
4. Impulsive behavior
5. Suicidal / Self harming tendancies
6. Mood swings
7. Chronic feeling of emptiness
8. Uncontrollable anger and inappropriate reaction to even the smallest annoyance
9. Dissociation or paranoid thoughts/episodes

I don't wanna fill my brain with unnecessary chemicals, meds are my last resort and at the moment I'm managing to survive

Yea dude I totally self diagnosed myself with such a strange and lesser known mental illness. I'm so edgy

hi op i have depression so i will be taking over this AMA

you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, that's why they are necessary in you and any professional would tell you to take them. you can control this, but this is not something you'll solve with just good will and determination, it's something that exceeds you.

your doing so now!!! would love to catch up and chat with you if possible!

thats bullshit OP.
Ive had schizophrenia since I was 14, it was hell for years and now they just say awesome shit about how great I am.

Probably rare, but awesome to have.
>after living hell torture for years.

you need to find yourself a cuddle buddy haha

A lot of people do DBT and CBT (2 different therapies) and that helps get rid of the disorder. I don't know if they take meds in that time but I'm pretty sure they don't. You don't need to pump yourself with chemicals to fix the chemical imbalance in your brain, willpower and the right techniques have been proven to stop the disorder

You remind me of someone I know. If you have kik, you can add me on there. My username is hypershadic21

Why havent killed yourself yet? Thats not even a real disease you know? You are just an attention whore

Jesus man I've been searching for so long for one of those. I just crave hugs and affection more than anything else. But no one want's to be my cuddle buddy ._.

I'll be your cuddle buddy!!!

Lol you won't believe the amount of times I've answered this question. I live to try and make other people happy, and I'm constantly trying to look for a purpose but this seems like the best one. And when I am suicidal I can't kill myself because I don't have any way to do so. Got no access to rope or a gun and I have a phobia of my own blood and veins. Also you're right it's not a real disease. It is a real Disorder though

just you wait fucktard, it comes when you're tired.

What a feg

What a fag

who do i remind you of ?? i assume your australian ?

I'm assuming you're not a girl and you're not in Australia so I don't think we can :c

You are good at scaring me. That pretty much sums up me, as we started seeing yesterday. Bad memory depending on the subject, massive trust issues, the loneliness, the going from being near-emotionless to having a bout of passion that feels like nobody can abate. You suddenly need to talk to someone, anyone, and wish they would prove unconditional love and hug you and tell you that you matter. This of course being the same person that at other times gets overwhelmed by others and prefers to be by himself. The anger is definitely a different manifest, mine is of course more depressed, but it is indeed quite difficult.
Sadly I don't seem to get into anime, at least not the stuff I have tried. It feels like something I should like, but I just get bothered with it. Yesterday I tried out three anime shows of varying types without success.
You know, that doesn't surprise me. I pretty much cannot hold down any real life friends due to being too obnoxious. I tend to be the weird person wherever I go. You are also right about the NEED to be the center of attention, I feel absolutely lonely if nobody is focusing on me directly and start worrying that I could leave said conversation without anyone noticing. I never really considered it to be BPD, more that I am highly emotional. I just new I am so ridiculously passionate that I fear nobody can really abate me, especially as I am the type to either do my own thing or be absolutely desperate for attention. It is hard when your shifting desires make it hard for anyone to meet what you ask.
This. This right here. I have a lot of fear of therapists, so I avoid anything that could diagnose me in case they say I am not welcome in society or something. Plus my family is... proud. They would perhaps support me, but they would just as easily get angered by my weakness. They are the type to tell you to "man up", a lot of my situation is hidden from people in real life for stability.

Part of my personality is actually disgusted by the human race and humans in general. It makes it hard to find anyone attractive. I have many fantasies, I am so hyper-sexual to fantasize about any female I meet regardless of any other criteria. But when I meet said people, it always reminds me how unattractive they are to me. My biggest problem is ridiculously high standards, but anything less and I am literally repulsed to the point I am settling.
This makes me think I am not fully BPD or only one of my personalities ties towards it. The problem is that I also hate being a burden, I have always had this strong desire to not change anything in the world. I wanted nothing to happen due to me. But yet I have the loneliness and obsession for attention. I am a very conflicted person. I can only imagine a regular person hearing my opinions, it must be such a headache as I barely make sense of myself.

Yea I'm Australian. You just reminded me of a woman who tried to help me once. Don't worry about it

haha your addorable when you try to shut yourself off

Yea I remember you from yesterday. I would do anything for that unconditional love and hugs and just to matter. I can feel tears coming on just thinking about it.
>can't get into anime
I can't get heavy into it, I have to be in a specific mood to watch it but at night times I have a lot of spare time to kill so I'll get into a series
>fear of therapists
Yea, for me I don't even understand why I'm scared of family finding out. Mum is studying to be an art therapist so really I should have no problem talking to her about it but I don't want her to be worried about me or care too much
>other personalities
I hate the way normal people act, It's too predictable and boring yet I've always wanted to be like everyone else. In a way I hate human race and society because of how stupid everyone acts but I can't help but want to be part of the crowd and fit in.
>conflicted person
I always get mad because I always expect people to know exactly what I mean when I say something but usually they don't understand or take it the wrong way. That sucks too

PSSSSSSSSSST YOUR BEAUTIFUL AND I WOULD LOVE TO CUDDLE YOU!!!!

I have something going on, everyone I interact with finds me odd to be around and try to distance themselves. I have never met someone like me, so I cannot say I am not like any others. I am an oddity, but I by no means feel I am special. This is by no means a gift, it is more of a roadblock I am trying to figure out.
Especially if you hold no interests with them. I am an oddity as I often pick up interests barely anyone else has. Even among those with relatively similar, they are just different enough that I am essentially alone. It is almost like everyone else likes the same things or collectives of things from my perspective, things I just don't like or have little to talk about. Unless you have that, I don't know much of what to talk about. I try to be friendly and enjoy talking if I can, but I often feel a gap. The irony being even if I found someone like me, I would probably push them away because I would doubt they were anything like me and only assume they misinterpreted me.

I was aware of most of these based on the past but find it eerie when you say distorted self image. That is one of my biggest problems, I am very good at beating myself up. I admit I am possibly too hard, but there is always the doubt that maybe everyone is mistaken.

I cannot handle annoyances either. Where I live is an apartment complex. I cannot handle the slightest bit of outside noise. I have, from talking about my neighbors with family members, started hitting walls and acting out in rage. Truthfully I don't know why I find it so unbearable, but I am breaking down from a few hours at the most of noise in my house.
One of my biggest issues is also the need to be in control. I am a control freak. Not just of others, if anything as I said before it shifts heavily, but with myself I am constantly in fear of losing control. Meds, imprisonment, alcohol, even death. Anything that makes me not able to do whatever I want to bothers me heavily.

WHY WONT YOU LET ME HOLD YOU GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!! *stomps feet*

This is hitting too far home. I have broken out in tears. Reportedly, when I am lonely and asking for attention, talking is nice but is truthfully not what I desire. I really am wishing for someone to hug me. I remember when I was younger, my mother would joke and say I needed a teddy bear to hug. She didn't get that I needed emotion, that I needed to be hugged and not just given a hug.

My job is trying to keep me out of these threads

bump

C'mon then get over here. But I can be really picky sometimes so I can't promise that the cuddles will be mutual. I'm sure I'd enjoy it anyway

>If you hold no interests with them
I know what you mean there. Communicating with others is hard if they don't do the talking or if they don't talk specifically about the things I like which are generally things that the people around me aren't interested in

>distorted self image
I don't know how I should look, I always look for the opinions of others when I want to change my look. And no matter how much I change I will always find myself the ugliest creature I know. Although some days I will randomly feel like I actually look pretty good, it doesn't last long though

>control
I can relate to this too. I need the freedom to do what I want to stay sane.

I feel the tears coming on again. All I want is some hugs. A girl I had been chasing for years told me that she loved me a few months ago but she was too busy with life to have a relationship. I don't need a relationship god damn it I just want to hold you and you can hold me, a moment like that is worth a lifetime for me. But I don't even know if she loves me any more

Age?

I don't like to disclose any type of personal info at all on Sup Forums. I'm really paranoid sorry

Trust me, I am getting emotional as well. Trying to keep it in check, but thinking about it is quite upsetting.
>anime
I am not much of a tv watcher in general. I tend to prefer games, I have a preference for interactivity when I can, and tv is mostly just background noise when working on my computer or something. Anime though, it seems to be something in the mannerisms, I get in a panic state when the people start acting emotional or yelling. If the anime isn't dubbed, it seems I cannot get into it due to this style.
>therapist
Perhaps it is a fear yourself, fear that you will realize how messed up you are. Right now it could all be overreactions and fake self-diagnosis. When someone professional says something, it is almost like announcing your doom. Plus they will want you to do what they prescribe.
>Hate other people
I do to an extent. I tend to distance myself from normal humans to the point I forget what they act like, but every time I talk to one it all comes rushing back and I instantly regret talking to one. I don't really know why, something about their mannerisms. Too much human contact and I hate society. I want a friend and for them to understand me. I have very little understanding about all of this and yet am begging for someone else to explain it all to me.
>nobody knows what I mean
I get this too. I try to joke with someone, they get offended or ask me ten times to explain what I mean. I talk about something, it is like I am in a totally different place, and I am terrible at explaining to others. I am old enough to drink, yet I still am unable to order a pizza on a phone due to being unable to articulate what I mean.

I hate when they use those anime pics. It's like they trying to be cute and their purpose is get an erection of me. Fuck you fat neckbeard i hope you die

>anime
I do play games a lot more than I watch anime
>therapist
Maybe, but I'm 95% convinced I have just BPD. And there is no way I'm taking meds
>Hate other people
That's all I want too, to have a friend who understands everything about me. I sort of do have one of these friends but she tries to fit in with normal society which upsets me. She's usually too busy to talk to me these days. I nearly started crying when she started using the terms "lit" and "fam"
>nobody knows what I mean
Yea, it really gets on my nerves sometimes because I end up having to explain shit to everyone I tell it to and even then they wont understand

Why are you such a beta fag?
Why havent killed yourself yet?
Do your parents know you are retarded?

I'm no neckbeard user ;)
Seriously though people on Sup Forums keep telling me I would make a great trap and people keep calling me cute too and I don't know why. I only used anime pics to follow the trend of SchizOP.

>interests
Exactly. I tend to be the person in a conversation trying to come up with things to say and the other person going "k" or "ye" or whatever. It bothers me as I realize they aren't even trying. Many times I get upset as I think people don't even see what I type or make their own meaning from it. I have odd expectations. As for interests, what I generally like is something people around me have zero knowledge about. Those I find online are slightly better, but still differ quite a bit. Perhaps we fit under the same banner, but it is like two different corners of the banner. For example, in games I often go to the older fan made levels as I feel they were kept more in-line with the original design mentality than the flashy things people designed later. Nobody but me really cares about these old files.
>Ugliest person I know
Another similarity I see. I have been told by people that I look like a model, that I could be a male fashion model if I wanted to be. I don't believe it in the slightest. Almost any guy I have seen looks better than me. How can I have such high standards when I am literally the worst she can chose? My other side tends to have an ego, but she is more mentally focused, she hates the human race and so she considers herself even more repulsive than I find myself.
>Freedom
I have an odd fascination about this. Sometimes I am just amazed that when I move my hand, it moves. It is a weird thing to think about, but it fascinates me to control myself. Most people my age have already been out drinking, I don't like it just due to the potential to lose some control over myself. As usual, it is hard to explain, though you seem to get it.
>All I want is some hugs
Exactly, you just want someone to care for you at that moment. A hug is one of the most meaningful things. I don't have any girls I interact with in a normal basis or even friends. Just co-workers and my father. But he doesn't live with me, so I often spend time in isolation.

your definetly a qtpie trap though,

if you acted in real life how you do on here, i would bury my cock deep inside you every night bb

>those cute pics
>:) ;)
>people on Sup Forums keep telling me i would make a great trap
Would you like to be my fucking sexual slave? I promise only love baby

>anime
Most of my life revolves around the games I play. Either I am working, on here, or gaming.
>therapist
I don't really like self-diagnosing, but you definitely sound like you have a lot of similarities to me. It is hard to talk about these issues with most because the first thing out of their mouth is always to see a therapist. They don't get how much that is admitting to myself, that is essentially the first step to saying I need help and to take drugs. I rather work it out on my own or with social interactions online.
>Hate other people
I can't stand those terms myself, I think those are the things that make me distance myself. I have a pretty good online friend, but he is always working or at school, so we only talk to each other once every few months. I got other friends, but there is always a divide of some sort. Maybe it doesn't help that when I want human contact, I want a voice as that at least is a step closer to imagining them being around me. I have some people that will text some messages, but it just feels lacking in a way.
>nobody knows what I mean
I can't handle repeating myself or explaining myself really. I guess that is part of my problem, I don't want to teach someone about me, I want them to just get it. Especially since half the time I cannot grasp why people cannot grasp what I am saying.

do you even go outside?

If people tend to piss user off, why would user ever want to go through with that?

If you dress up like a qt girl, I'll help you with your loneliness.

/thread

SchizOP did indeed start a great thing. This is what I like Sup Forums for, us anons being able to easily talk. I don't share any interests that can fit me into any containment area and am disinterested in all the trap threads. You making this was quite good as you have expanded it past one individual, hopefully others shall carry the torch as well. Not sure how many we are to do such, can't spread ourselves too thin. I was surprised how early you posted, you usually are both going around the same time.

I don't care for those who don't care for me. I'd only be a sex slave by impulse and only for someone i know IRL

Maybe

>interests
The classics are always better
>Ugliest person I know
I dunno about me being model material but a girl once said she'd kill for my eyebrows. I also have pretty high standards now that I think about it but almost everyone in Australia is attractive so I'd probably go for any girl I know except for the odd few. There are a very select few who are wife material, but a lot of them are just attractive and bearable. No one is interested in me though so it seems I really am the ugliest person I know.
>Freedom
I didn't 100% understand what you meant before but I do understand now. I'm not in the legal drinking age yet but a few friends wanted to get drunk with me. I declined because I was scared I would lose control and black out, not remembering what crazy shit I would get up to.
>All I want is hugs
In my daily life I do end up surrounded by girls but none of them are interested in me or cuddling me so I suppose it hurts more knowing that there are so many potential cuddle buddies yet none want me

I do, I crave social interaction I just hate when people do the tiniest thing to piss me off

I'm not sure I really wanna be a trap, the part of me that likes dick is the other part of me and it isn't the primary part of me

>games
I go to school, come home, play league, osu, overwatch etc until I go to bed, go on Sup Forums in bed and make these posts until I sleep and then I repeat

Answer you fucking nigger gay fggot

He has like 5 times dipshit

You must be around 16 or 25. I can tell by your posts. You almost reminded me this guy. I have the feeling that you both will be good friends

>interests
Exactly. I end up comparing everything else to my favorite titles and usually end up seeing them as heavily flawed due to it. I am really picky as well, to a point where I have been miserable at the amount of stuff others find enjoyable that I do not. It is like, there is all this entertainment, yet 99% of it doesn't entertain or fit with me. Am I that alien that so little is appealing to me?
>Ugliest person I know
I really think the people were either being sarcastic or ridiculously kind to try to cheer me up. I never really found anyone I met in real life to be attractive. There is a social awkwardness with females, say I see one in a store I always am worried she think I am going to stare too much or am trying to look at certain body parts to the point that I try to avoid all eye contact as much as possible. But never any that felt like doing such was heavily bothersome beyond the inconvenience of just letting my eyes naturally move where they want.
>Freedom
Exactly, who knows what I would do when drunk. I think the thought of not knowing what I would do is even worse.
>All I want is hugs
Yeah, it must be heavily bothersome to know you could have something and yet don't get it. Perhaps they even would if you open up to them, but then they might think you are weird and distance themselves from you. I just want a true emotional hug (thus why my father doesn't work, he expects me to be strong).

>outside
I go outside as well, but I just run into the same problem. What do people do out there? The world seems so pointless with bugs, heat, and dirt. I rather be inside, but I do go to work and martial arts.
>Don't wanna be a trap
The hard part is explaining how it is a part of you but isn't the part of you that you primarily identify with and thus what you don't consider yourself to be. I never really imagined anyone to get this, it sounds so weird to explain. I just imagine someone thinks I am a trap or something when it is quite far from that.
>games
My schedule lately has been work (it is mostly slow where I work and it is pretty leisurely when it comes to what you do when it is slow, other people stream video sites constantly so I am pretty light, this is a great way to pass a day when barely anything is happening at the moment, but also why I can disappear without saying a word), come home, continue setting up stuff on my computer or play Doom PWADs from 1994 (the irony is I find Doom rather boring, but it is one of the more convenient things to play since I have some issues with Direct3d), go to sleep for work.

You're in the right range

>Grills
I'm the same with them, I don't want them to think I'm rude by staring but sometimes they are too pretty to pass up even just a little glance. One thing I really struggle with is maintaining eye contact. I can't do it with guys cos I feel like it's gay and I just can't do it with girls because I'm awkward and I dunno I just can't do it
>Freedom
I wanna try weed but it's the same there, I'm scared I'm gunna not be in control or that I will make it too obvious that I'm on drugs. But that's like the least controlling drug right?

I've run out of images to use, Here's me lookin a bit like sheik eating cereal

>trap
Haha I'm glad you understand what I mean there, that's super rare that someone would understand that
>doom
I don't think I'd be able to bear more than a few mins of the old Doom. Sure I love retro games but I've never been interested in doom

>Grills
With a guy I can maintain eye contact. I feel nothing so they are just another person. Females are too, but they also could potentially have sex with me. They of course wouldn't, but the potential exists. In school I used to stare at people more, I often was accused of being a creep. Actually, that is the problem with befriending females, they always believe me being even more sexual with them than I really am and accuse me of doing something I never did. You don't want to know how often I have been accused of jerking off to some female because I was breathing heavy (I really get into music when I listen to it).
>Freedom
You are past me, I wouldn't even want to try the stuff. I see zero appeal in it, the only thing is the pleasure of losing some control, which is what I specifically seek to avoid. It would be like me taking happy pills.
>I run out of images
Exactly the problem I find. I don't have many images of anyone I would post and there doesn't seem to be enough for an entire thread on the internet. Plus it wouldn't be anime anyway. So I tend just to post without images. I don't even have pictures of myself, I only take them when showing someone and the process is quite lengthy as I am incompetent with phones. You look like what I imagined the average 4channer to look like, not sure why you can't get a girl as you got that bad boy look going.

>trap
Exactly what I am saying. Before you, I didn't even think it was possible to get that, anyone I told in the past pretty much treated me like they were accepting a LGTB person and I was coming out of the closet. It is one of the hardest things to explain to someone who doesn't get it.
>Doom
I am very funky when it comes to retro games. I like them, but not really true retro games. I can't really stand MIDI music, the limited instruments and digitized sound just bothers me. On the other hand, I like games to have sound. I only really like games from the late 90s. Afterwards you lose the creativity and freedom in design in favor of realism, before you lose the immersion factor and ambience. My games of choice are the first two Thief titles. Nothing I have found can compare and give me the love from those games, though I do have other titles I do find pretty enjoyable.

Bad boy look ahahaha oh boy. If you saw me without the mask you would definitely think otherwise. These are photos I took a few days ago for this thread because we started up a ninja clan for some reason. It was quite weird.
>Gurls
I tend to make friends more with girls that I do with guys because they are less harsh on me and I act as nice as possible with them as I do in these threads and they love me, but in a friend way. I haven't actually talked to any girls in the past few days other than family, I'm not sure why but the girls have split off from my main group of friends. They should be back though (I hope). There's a temporary Japanese exchange student here and from what I know of her so far shes ticks most of my wife material boxes. She hangs out with the girls of my group and I haven't had chance to talk to her, I'm a little anxious to though.

We tried treating schizophrenia without medication for a long time with pretty much no success. Disorders like BPD however respond well to alternative treatments. Moreover, I think your point is that medications are still mostly a stab in the dark, only work sometimes, only help some things, and often make other things worse. We act like the brain is just missing a specific neurotransmitter, but in reality it's usually just specific regions of the brain, and so non targeted medication is kind of a shit show.

Haha, I am not so sure. You look like that loner type, the type that likes indie stuff and doesn't care what people think. Not bad boy as social normie, but a cool but distant person to normies.
>Gurls
Since school I just don't interact with many females as I don't come in contact with them. Hard at a supermarket to be like "Please be my waifu or at least my friend. At the least, give me a hug!" without them thinking you are insane. At least males might like something relatively similar to what I like, like perhaps some retro games in a modified format or something. Of course, males are only online if anywhere, I got nobody but co-workers who are friendly enough but keep their distance and my father. I am not really the advice guy, but you might as well try talking to her. Just expect to say something terrible that scares them away. Or get in love, then have to hurt them so they hate you because you know they can do better. That is the hard part, having that with a lack of confidence, but also begging for compassion in the first place.

Nice quads, user!
>respect your feels

Thanks, guess today was my lucky day :)