Would you pay to sex my gf? if so, how much would you pay? and what would you do?

would you pay to sex my gf? if so, how much would you pay? and what would you do?

I would still pay her the same amount I did before I knew she was your GF. 10 for BJ, 20 for fuck, 25 for anal.

I would cum in her vagina and make her pregnant, but I would not pay for this because she would be begging me to do it anyway.

$0

I'd rape her

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I'd give you $5 for a go on it

I wouldn't have a wank and thorw it at her

about tree fiddy

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Depends what her feet look like

This

Can we get a group rate? All 3 same time for a discount? I only have $5, I'll take the blowjob.

Nice bro, got any with her clothed?

I wouldn't pay , thats a waste of my finances. I would come to your home and tie you and her up. I would go into your wallet take all your cash, transfer all your funds from every bank account you might have. I would force you to watch as I slowly make purchases in your name and use your social security number to open up new lines of credit.

Using an x-acto knife I would make small slits in your throat making sure you stay alive and as you gasp for air you would choke on your own blood . Then I would stick my dick down your throat and smother my dick with your blood using it as lubricant as I fuck your dog.

Then I would go into your kitchen and cover my self with all the mayonnaise you have in your refrigerator. Decapitate your dog and smother my self in its blood. Covered in mayonnaise and blood I would twerk infront of you until you die from suffocation.

Then i'd order some pizza with black olives no sauce and utilize your dogs head as currency.

best i can do is 25 cents

Why does anal always cost the most? It's the hole where shit comes out of.

I would then rape the pizza guy.
I'd fuck his tight little pizza guys ass really hard. Making your girlfriend watch as I make him a real man.

I would force feed your girlfriend the black olive no sauce pizza offering her nothing to drink buy my piss.

Then I would kill the pizza guy choking him with wire.

I would turn on Hard core BBC gang bang porn and watch with your girlfriend. I would continuously fap for 2 hours as hit myself and I scream "how can I even compete" as I eat the dead pizzas guys dick.

$100 but im fucking cheap. prob get 500 in the right city.

Then I would shit on your girlfriend smothering my shit all over her face making sure she smells nothing but my watery shit.

I would find the highest definition 9/11 footage and play it on loop with the soundtrack from Wild Wild West.

I would then go into your closet and start throwing all the shoes I can find at her head singing "1877 kars for kids k-a-r-s- kars for kids." over and over until she passes out.

As shes passed out I would collect your flesh and boil it with some capers and 4 cups of salt.

I would wake her begging her for my forgiveness.

Make her my offering and promise to free her once she eats my nice little meal I've specially prepared for her.

As shes eating I would break fucking her teeth with a frying pan . I would then fuck the shit out of her bloody face and sing the song Wishes Of Happiness & Prosperity.

Any feet?

From where? 150€/h

Damn dude, chill

I would pay you $10 bucks to fuck her. And then when I was done, she would be begging YOU to pay ME to fuck her some more.

I would then cover my dick in hot sauce.

I'd fuck her in the ass really good , like really good. Like prison drop the soap ass sex. Hitting the back of her head with a shoe. Untill she passes out again.

Crying ,I would call my uncle who raped me to come over to see what he have has caused me to do.

He would come over and tell me how proud of me he is. He would begin to worship me as a god and bring me offerings of McGriddles and allow me to eat them off his chest.

We would then clean up your girlfriend cover her mouth with tape. Handcuff her and cover her eyes.

We would round up all the local homeless men and give them the promise of mcgriddles and sex.

We would bring them to your home and me and my uncle would jerk each other off saying "how can we even compete" to one another as we watch the homeless men fuck her.

I would pay $250 for an hour. Would start off with 69, then start railing her while she's on her back. Then lay her on her stomach, push her legs together and rail it hard. Finish with her sitting on me while I go jackrabbit mode, finish in her mouth. All with no glockenspiel, gotta hit it raw.

Ok, but don't forget to bring the capers. Not everyone has capers, you know.

Thanks user for the reminder , I always make sure to keep capers in my wallet in dime bags. just in case the situation calls for them. You never know when you're gonna need capers !

Once the homeless men had their way with her, we would get them drunk until they're passed out and then we'll slip them some acid. I would rob them of all their crack and smoke it.

Then would bring your girlfriend to another room and leave her tied up near candles and more candles alot of candles like 23 candles. Big candles , little candles . all kinds.

After that we would then run the gas line of your stove leaving them in hopes of your home exploding destroying all evidence.

Me and my uncle would then drive off into the sunset as I give him highway head.

We would happily stop every mcdonalds demanding Mcgriddles on our way.

Then my uncle would get me pregnant and we would name our new born after your gf. Raping the child everyday until the child becomes a man.

We would then happily look back at the past jerking each other off singing the oscar meyer weiner song.

Then on the anniversary we would celebrate by visiting the memorial dedicated to you and your girl friend and the pizza guy.

My uncle would shit on your graves and I would eat it to make him proud of me.

We would grow old together and every year I would eat shit off your graves as we get old

When my uncle dies of old age , I will get him cremated and cum all over his ashes.

It would be like having sex one last time with him.

I would think back of our fond memories together.

as I fuck his ashes it would make me cry and think "how can I even compete."

I would then shit in his ashes and eat it to become one with my uncle.

I would visit your memorial and shit my uncles ashes out on your graves.

I would then fuck your forgotten graves and scream "how can I even compete"

I would sleep by your graves everyday missing and thinking about the past. Jerking off near your graves using the dirt and my tears as lubricant.

I would have sex with myself.

I would have a lot of sex with my self.

I'd fuck myself in the ass. Fuck me like my daddy once fucked me.

I would have all the sex I can have with my self until I die by your graves.

Once in the spirit world I would find my uncle waiting for me. And we would greet each other by fucking each other in our spirits asses.

He would fuck me in the spirit ass getting shit all over his spirit dick. I would be moaning "How can I even compete."

He would spirit cum all over himself and I would lick his spirit cum all over his hairy spirits chest.

We would then find your spirits and would begin to fuck your tight little spirit asses for 10,000 years.

I pretty frequently fuck an escort who looks similar to your gf. 80 for a quick visit, 150 for 30 minutes, 200 for an hour. 300 if I shower with her beforehand and a massage, 500 for me to stay overnight with her. The 300 or 500 I basically get to do whatever I want.

Anyway, I'd pay 80 bucks to fuck your girlfriend but she seems a lot more trashy than my usual.

After 10,000 years of anal and continuously spirit cumming all over you and your girlfriend , Zeus would appear under a truck.

He would thank me and my uncle for our service.

We beg for zeus to fuck us and spirit cum on us.

Zeus obliges and jerks off moaning "How can I even compete" and spirit cums all over our tight little asses.

He grants us one more last wish.

Me and my uncle look at each other and smile, we ask zeus to grant us micro penises in the next life.

It's been a wild ride thanks for the keks you weird motherfucker

Encore/10

OP how can you even compete with this anons magical story?

'bout tree fiddy

Me and my uncle are then re-encarnated as conjoined twins with a micropenis.

When the doctor gives our mother her first sonagram , they find me and my uncle jerking each other in the womb.

My uncle is now my sexy newborn brother.

I'm about to cum keep going

Our mother could not keep us from jerking each other off.

We would fill our diapers with shit and cum.

Jerking off at the thought of mother cleaning up our shit and cum filled diapers.

She tried to get us to socialize with the other babies but she did not know the connection I have with my sexy new born uncle brother.

Diapers would be filled with shit we would jerk off infront of the other babies getting off the sound of their crying.

Mother would cry and ask her god why did she give birth to us she knows she did not deserve this.

She did not know we were sent from zeus himself.

As we grew older , so did our collection of shit filled cum diapers.
In our late adolescence disgusted with what she gave birth to, Mother decided it would be best for herself if she took her own life. She overdosed on pills foaming at the mouth.

The mere sight of our mothers mouth foaming made me and my uncle brother cum.

We came all over her dead foaming body.

We then stripped mother of all her clothes and fucked her dead body. Uncle fucked her ass and I fucked her dead hairy conjoined twined birthed damaged cold pussy.

With nothing to eat we began feeding on our dead mothers body. I would begin by chewing on her cold chewy now mushroom covered anus. I could not contain my self and I came again. I couldn't stop cuming.

Upon seeing me cum so much from eating my dead mothers cold mushroom covered ass my uncle brother began cumming uncontrollably.

We both couldn't stop cumming, it was a beautiful moment between us. Our micro penises flowing with cum. Me and my uncle brother locked eyes.

We grabbed each others micro penises and said " how can I even compete" to one another and locked lips.

The situation was so hot for us that we couldn't even contain the amount of cum our bodies were willing to produce .

We began to cry cum filled tears of beauty from the bliss of the situation.

We slowly fed on mothers dead body. It was rotting ever so slowly but we did not care. The stench of collected diapers and of rotting flesh that permeated our home began to escape.

Neighbors began filling complaints until finally the police and child protective services showed up.

The officer was balding in his late 40's and balding. He was a man who you can tell never ran a day in his life but stuffed his face with nothing but doughnuts and burgers. The dirt built up in his hairy arms was an indicator of the last time he might have showered and overweight to even take a proper breath of air to notice his own stench.

He walked up us and grabbed our arm. and told us "dont worry now it will be okay, you are safe now" we replied back to him "how can we even compete" and came on ourselves after being touched by such a man.

The officer in bringing us back to the station decided to stop at McDonalds. We couldn't help but touch ourselves at the idea of making a stop at the golden arches.

The officer went in Mcdonalds to pick up some food. My brother uncle and I thought about how hot it would be to give each other blowjobs in the back of a police car.

He came back with 10 mc griddles and some hot cakes , upset at the fact at they forgot the syrup he went back inside not noticing my brother uncle and I sucking each others micro dicks in the back seat.

Upon smelling the mcgriddles we immediately came.

We opened the front door of the car and grabbed the bag of mcgriddles and brought them back to the back seat.

We began rubbing the mcgriddles all over our cum covered bodies. Cumming even more and more at every unwraping of a mcgriddle.

We noticed the car began to speed away but the officer was no longer at the wheel.

A tall black man had stolen the car and was now at the wheel of the car.

Frightened me and my brother whispered to each other "how can we compete" and came.

have you quit your job for this yet?

About 3.50

"How can we compete?" were on the minds of my uncle brother and I.

The big black man was speeding away with no sign of slowing down. He then noticed my brother and I naked in the back seat naked soaked in cum and smothered in mcgriddles.

"What the fuck ?" he blurted. Distracted by the beautiful sight he witnessed in the back seat of the car he crashed it into a tree.

My uncle brother and I were un hurt thanks to Zeus protecting us. The big black guy had a head injury but he remained alive.

Grabbing some handcuffs and the remaining mcgriddles We dragged his unconscious body nearby deep into a forrest.

We hand cuffed him to a tree and waited for him to wake up.

As he woke up he could not contain himself.

He awoken to the sight of conjoined twins sucking each other micro-dicks.

Confused by the situation began screaming loudly for help.

we told him , "why scream for help, how can we even compete ?"

We began to undress the black man.

We were excited because we have heard our mother mention black men before.

As we unzipped his pants we discovered this man had no penis.

We came.

Instead of a penis the black man just had a hole.

We began to feel into the hole.

He begged us for mercy.

We kept going more and more into this hole until we discovered that our body can fit into this hole.

Curious as to where it leads my brother uncle and I grabbed the mcgriddles and jumped inside.

We discovered this black man had a penis so small it was actually an inter-dimensional portal .

Upon entering , we met with the prophet Muhammed and Allah.

They gave me and my brother uncle infinite bombs.

We thanked Muhammed and Allah and asked them to cum on us.

Muhammed couldnt handle the amount of cum we had to offer him. We came on his face for 7 years. He had so much cum on his beard that it grew into a universe and he bombed it and died.

Allah revealed himself to be Zeus and thanked us for helping us defeat Muhammed.

Buddha then appeared and offered us a gift of infinite mcgriddles for we have achieved infinite wisdom.

Jesus appeared and offered us some ciggarette buds and a few jars of mayonnaise as thanks.

We all came.

Jesus buddha and zeus bowed down to us and said "how can we compete?"


We nodded our heads and We walked off into the interdimensional sunset.