Start new job as teacher

>Start new job as teacher.
>Buy large pack of napkins to use at work when eating lunch.
>Day 1: Eat lunch, use napkins.
>Day 2: Eat lunch, use napkins.
>Day 3: etc.
>Day etc.: etc.

>End of 1st semester. Notice approximately 1/2 of the napkins are gone.
>fuck.jpg
>Begin to carefully ration napkins so that pack will last EXACTLY one year.
>Semester 2, Day 1: Eat lunch, use napkins.
>Semester 2: Day 2: Eat lunch, use napkin.
>Semester 2: Day 3: Eat lunch, use exactly one napkin.
>This is gonna be great.
>
>Fast forward several weeks.
>Eat lunch, carefully use 1/3 of napkin. (Will use the other 2/3 tomorrow and the day after, cannot go over 1/3 napkin quota per day to remain on track).
>Clothes and hands messy after lunch. Don't care, this is my magnum opus.
>Napkins and school year will end at the same time.
>Stay up at night worrying about napkins running out.
>Try not to think so much about napkins.
>Continue eating lunches, using napkin fractions.
>
>Semester 2: Day ?: Run out of napkins.
>Must have counted wrong or something.
>World comes crashing down.
>Realize napkin plot was ultimately pointless.
>feelskindagoodman.webm
>Go to store, buy new pack, leave them in trunk of car. Thank god that napkin burden has been lifted from my wretched soul.
>Weekend.
>Stop thinking about napkins entirely.
>
>Monday: go to work, go to get napkins of out trunk.
>No napkins.
>WTF?
>Realize it was a dream.
>What level of hell is this?
>Go to office. 13/76ths of napkin pack left.
>Not sure if happy or sad.
>Consider suicide.
>Decide not to (napkins might be wasted by others trying to clean up mess from suicide).
>Get back on the napkin wagon.
>According to calculations 7 and 2/3rds napkins can be used per week assuming I eat out 5.24 days per month and every other Tuesday lunch is provided.
>Fuck yeah.

Continue??

well fuck, I've got nothing better to do, cont. OP

there's moar?

>
>Fast forward a few weeks.
>Coworker has lunch with me.
>Asks for napkins (co-worker ran out, nobody knows about my napkins).
>R U fucking kidding me?
>Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part fuck-face.
>Rip him 2/5 of my daily 1.53332 daily ration.
>Gives me weird look.
>Don't care. Crisis averted.
>
>Get to end of semester.
>Last week. Monday morning, very small pile of napkins left.
>Count them.
>5
>"It's happening" -Rand Paul.
>Monday Eat lunch, use napkin.
>Tuesday Eat lunch, have napkin.
>Lunch Eat Wednesday, have napkin.
>Thursday Eat napkin, wipe face with lunch.
>Last day.
>Friday.
>Lunch time.
>Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. >Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
>Use last napkin.
>Fire lunch out of a cannon.
>Ejaculate.
>It's like skydiving on ecstasy.
>My life is complete.
>
>Think back over the year.
>WTF AM I DOING?

I like this thread

this was a surprisingly good read

I like you OP
You have goals, you make plans, and you achieve.

luvd it! thanks OP

Best post in forever

I did the same thing but with semen.

Fascinating. Pure art.

Where can we donate extra napkins for next fall?

OP here.

I don't want to say where to send napkins because I don't trust you. I would probably get a box of scorpions or some crazy shit from you people.

Plz write a review of my story.

What the fuck is this god damn autistic ass thread I genuinely can't tell if these are real people or bots but man what a waste of fucking bots.

OP, you have a problem with OCD. Get help.

I'll just say that I shed a tear at the end, it was so perfect and beautiful

Waaah! "No one likes the things I write- guess I'll go shit on something people actually do like"

I paid for the bots fair and square. I can do what I want with them.

It is just something so fucking random and strange that everyone else is so nice I am so confused this not the Sup Forums I have loved this is Chink Moot's doing

"people are not screaming "nigger faggot" everywhere, Sup Forums is garbage now" Are you for real ?

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