>Start new job as teacher. >Buy large pack of napkins to use at work when eating lunch. >Day 1: Eat lunch, use napkins. >Day 2: Eat lunch, use napkins. >Day 3: etc. >Day etc.: etc.
>End of 1st semester. Notice approximately 1/2 of the napkins are gone. >fuck.jpg >Begin to carefully ration napkins so that pack will last EXACTLY one year. >Semester 2, Day 1: Eat lunch, use napkins. >Semester 2: Day 2: Eat lunch, use napkin. >Semester 2: Day 3: Eat lunch, use exactly one napkin. >This is gonna be great. > >Fast forward several weeks. >Eat lunch, carefully use 1/3 of napkin. (Will use the other 2/3 tomorrow and the day after, cannot go over 1/3 napkin quota per day to remain on track). >Clothes and hands messy after lunch. Don't care, this is my magnum opus. >Napkins and school year will end at the same time. >Stay up at night worrying about napkins running out. >Try not to think so much about napkins. >Continue eating lunches, using napkin fractions. > >Semester 2: Day ?: Run out of napkins. >Must have counted wrong or something. >World comes crashing down. >Realize napkin plot was ultimately pointless. >feelskindagoodman.webm >Go to store, buy new pack, leave them in trunk of car. Thank god that napkin burden has been lifted from my wretched soul. >Weekend. >Stop thinking about napkins entirely. > >Monday: go to work, go to get napkins of out trunk. >No napkins. >WTF? >Realize it was a dream. >What level of hell is this? >Go to office. 13/76ths of napkin pack left. >Not sure if happy or sad. >Consider suicide. >Decide not to (napkins might be wasted by others trying to clean up mess from suicide). >Get back on the napkin wagon. >According to calculations 7 and 2/3rds napkins can be used per week assuming I eat out 5.24 days per month and every other Tuesday lunch is provided. >Fuck yeah.
Continue??
Blake Perry
well fuck, I've got nothing better to do, cont. OP
Camden Walker
there's moar?
Liam Hernandez
> >Fast forward a few weeks. >Coworker has lunch with me. >Asks for napkins (co-worker ran out, nobody knows about my napkins). >R U fucking kidding me? >Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part fuck-face. >Rip him 2/5 of my daily 1.53332 daily ration. >Gives me weird look. >Don't care. Crisis averted. > >Get to end of semester. >Last week. Monday morning, very small pile of napkins left. >Count them. >5 >"It's happening" -Rand Paul. >Monday Eat lunch, use napkin. >Tuesday Eat lunch, have napkin. >Lunch Eat Wednesday, have napkin. >Thursday Eat napkin, wipe face with lunch. >Last day. >Friday. >Lunch time. >Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. >Through Christ, our Lord. Amen. >Use last napkin. >Fire lunch out of a cannon. >Ejaculate. >It's like skydiving on ecstasy. >My life is complete. > >Think back over the year. >WTF AM I DOING?
Tyler Cooper
I like this thread
Isaac Hernandez
this was a surprisingly good read
Julian Green
I like you OP You have goals, you make plans, and you achieve.
Josiah Walker
luvd it! thanks OP
Nicholas Long
Best post in forever
Logan Davis
I did the same thing but with semen.
Christian Ross
Fascinating. Pure art.
Wyatt Peterson
Where can we donate extra napkins for next fall?
Lucas Morris
OP here.
I don't want to say where to send napkins because I don't trust you. I would probably get a box of scorpions or some crazy shit from you people.
Plz write a review of my story.
Luke Ward
What the fuck is this god damn autistic ass thread I genuinely can't tell if these are real people or bots but man what a waste of fucking bots.
Landon Wood
OP, you have a problem with OCD. Get help.
Jackson Wood
I'll just say that I shed a tear at the end, it was so perfect and beautiful
Jackson Fisher
Waaah! "No one likes the things I write- guess I'll go shit on something people actually do like"
Julian Barnes
I paid for the bots fair and square. I can do what I want with them.
Angel Moore
It is just something so fucking random and strange that everyone else is so nice I am so confused this not the Sup Forums I have loved this is Chink Moot's doing
Adrian Hill
"people are not screaming "nigger faggot" everywhere, Sup Forums is garbage now" Are you for real ?