What's the worst thing you've gotten away with in public?

What's the worst thing you've gotten away with in public?

Murder

stop being stupid.

I like to eat a whole bunch of chili and crop dust people in the mall.

I had a dog for 16 years and I have never picked up his shit. I did it because I hate the people in the neighborhood.

Being in public. I'm rather unattractive.

>picking up dog shit
People ACTUALLY do that? I've never seen anyone do that

I once had sex in the back of a school bus during my youth

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

open carry while having a warrant out for my arrest. shits solved now but still.

not illegal you dumbfuck

People will still call the cops on someone that open carries, when they show up and id him, he gets arrested because of the warrant.

This was years ago, it honestly makes me feel like total shit

>Be Halloween
>15 years old
>Decide to still trick or treat cus free candy
>Group of 5 including myself
>A kid named Nelson from school is with us
>He's annoying and no one likes him
>He tries fitting in so hard but just doesn't work
>He's dressed as a pirate with two plastic swords
>Smacks us with them every 5 seconds
>Tell him to cut the shit or leave
>He smacks my friend who just snaps
>My friend punches him hard in the face
>He's on the ground screaming bloody murder
>Says he broke his nose
>Lots of blood everywhere on his face
>All of a sudden we all join in
>Beating him with our bags of candy
>And kicking at him hard
>Small crowd begins to gather as we beat him in the street
>His screaming just suddenly stops
>And we're just beating on this silent kid
>Eventually someone tries stopping us
>We start running and running
>Go back to my house
>Realize how much blood there is on our feet and bags
That night was one of the scariest nights of my life, we thought we killed him because he had stopped making sounds as we were beating him, but we just kept doing it, his parents called the police but shockingly he refused to give our names and just told them it was some random kids in costumes, we ended up burning our costumes and came up with fake alibis, we even took pictures wearing different costumes to act as evidence, faked the date and everything on the pictures

To this day I still have no idea why he didn't rat us out, he ended up with a broken nose, multiple bruises, and a missing tooth, there was an article on the local news website about it, wonder if I can still find it, this was back around 2006, looking him up on Facebook it looks like he lives a normal life, has a wife and a little girl, every now and then I get the urge to message him and ask why he didn't turn us in, but I know it would only lead to problems.

Grab a stranger ass on the street. As I feeled her butt she turned around really slowly. I did it as a joke because me and my friend were walking beside eachother and she was infront of my friend so I grab her ass and when she turned around she looked at my friend and didn't say anythng.

Seems like he moved on. You should try doing that too.

Which anime/hentai is this, user?

Haruhi Suzumiya

I'll tell ya why user.
I knew a kid like this too. Took him a while to finally get it. Kids like him have to learn the hard way. Telling him to stop doesn't work cause he thinks it's all in fun. But they don't get it. Over and over wondering why no one likes them till they get the shit knocked out of them. It sunk in and the next time you saw him at school, he likely stopped being a little shit. I bet within the next 2 years he gained friends and everything. Little shits like him normally grow up to have good decent lives

I was once extremely horny, didn't have a girlfriend, and my roommates had friends over (my room is attached to living room so I can't masturbate without people hearing). I grabbed some toilet paper and drove to a carpool parking lot where I thought I would be alone. I started masturbating in my car when a bright light suddenly appeared behind me shining into my car. I quickly put my dick away but didn't have time to zip up my pants or put away the toilet paper. A cop came up to my window and told me that what I was doing was wrong and highly illegal. He said normally he would arrest me but he was on his way to a big crime scene and didn't have the time. He got in his car and left. I left immediately afterwards and ended up waiting for everyone in my house to leave before masturbating in my bedroom. Easily the scariest and luckiest day of my life.

Two years ago I tried to steal a valuable box of Yugioh cards from Walmart
One of the secret shoppers caught me and said he was going to be on break soon and to leave it and to make sure I'm not spotted by him again

Posting the link to this thread.

Snatched a cell-phone out of someone's backpack and threw it in the trash.

Prolly farting... you know those atomic gas radiation farts that are soooo... incredible pure of smell that you have to couch. They thought it was a baby.

>working in retail
>not hired for sales floor, but they put me there anyways
>I'm cleaning manure and dirt some jackwagon spilled on the floor
>a few hundred pounds of it
>lady bashes cart into my back
>screams "Don't touch me! Gawd, don't be that close!"
>I say "Cool your jets cunt."
That's my worst normie public thing. Apparently she got mad because I called her a cunt. Like shit. Literally. I was covered in the stuff. If you didn't see me, you at least should have smelled me.

Pulling a Fire Alarm

Lit a bomb off in a public park surrounded by houses. It brightened the the night sky. The cops sent a helicopter out and there was a shit ton of smoke in the air. My friends and I hid in a ditch on the outskirts of town. It was pretty tense.

went down an icey slope, knocked a guy over and broke his collar bone.
it felt kinda cool at the time

freshman year in college i lived in the dorms. every night for the first 3 weeks someone pulled the fire alarm. they never found out who it was.

We had a guy puke in the same spot in the back stairwell in my dorm. Every Thursday night. No one ever found out who it was, but everyone on the floor had to split the cleaning costs every week.

muh nibba

housing costs didnt include a janitor?

Molotov'd a park one year with some friends for fun and they sent a fire truck scary fucking shit. Looked cool when it went off tho

Nope. I was on a specific floor that was substance free and for scholarship winners of some accountant thing. I just got the last free room. It was a cheap converted floor from something else.

Don't take your guns to town son. Leave your guns at home, Bill.

>be me
>in highschool
>phobia of public restrooms
>hold shit in
>can't hold it in anymore
>ditch school after class
>shit myself trying to walk home
>walk 2 km to house with shit in boxers
>no longer afraid of public restrooms
>new phobia and dislike of shit

Anal segregation. It was Intense

>year before
>can't hold shit in anylonger
>go to nurses to get sent home
>prarie dogging it
>go to nurses private restroom
>throw boxers in trash
>get sent home
>next week same thing
>students are no longer allowed to use nurses restroom
>ditch school after class but I made it home.

Being fucked by a security guard in a public bathroom

>he doesn't have a scat fetish
wow normie!

you take that back bitch.

Some bruhs and i mixed styrofoam and gasoline together. We set it on fire and tried to put it out by tossing it into this public pool with people in it. If yk you know anything about napalm then you know what happenend. No one was hurt. We just ran like the dickens

How do you masturbate loud?

well at least you like lolis

"IM MASTURBATING RIGHT NOW! DON'T COME IN HERE!"

Some people use lube, which makes a squelching sound when you pump up and down.
Even when I dry masturbate, I still make a lot of noise. (breathing, friction, chair squeeking)

>Be me youngster in highschool
>buys weed for the first time
>decide after i hangout with my friends im going to drive home and smoke a joint
> I live in the country the drive is like 10 minute from my friends house going 20 over limit
> end up making it half way before weed kicks in
> i end up driving like an asshole
>doing 20 on an 80 road, guy behind me keeps honking, my high brain is like fuck this im freaking out.
>pull over and get out of car, he stops and starts yelling at me
>windy night out trees around us are freaking me out more swaying and "reaching towards me"
> end up fucking kicking his shin running back to my car to continue doing 20 down the road
>I see him on his phone probably calling cops
>get home sit in room waiting for shit to go down and cops to come or something

everything turned out okay, feels good man.

wow, I don't understand how people get this paranoid off of weed. Everytime I smoke, I just end up laughing my ass off and having a good time.

>trees around us are freaking me out more swaying and "reaching towards me"
You sure that wasn't crack?
I wish I knew anyone who saw fuckin spooky ass man swallowing trees when I smoked.

it was my 2nd time getting high technically and I've always been a goodie two shoes always hated getting in trouble never wanted to do anything bad and get caught. Besides none of my friends did anything like drink or weed so i didnt want them to leave me either which they would if they found out.
I didnt drink until i was 18 and didnt go to parties because again my friends weren't about that life
now im pretty chill with it still can't drive high though

I had a girl suck my dick in a movie theatre

...

looking back i knew i was autismo but i laugh now, the trees were those really low hanging scary movie trees with the heavy branches that usually have spider webs all over them so in my mind i was like scary trees, angry unknown driver, im gonna get killed plus i live near the murder capitol of canada

Regina aint that bad mang.

Did you not read the "first time" part of that story?

edmonton is the murder capitol at least it was back a few years, that's why it's nicknamed deadmonton

>breathing
ew

You're a savage, a ticking time bomb that hopefully won't explode again.

slapping

ffs

Why would that matter? I said I don't understand how people get paranoid because I don't have experience with being paranoid and never met anyone who has been paranoid on weed before.

>be me
>be at library
>>walking around
>see man looking at porn
>goto the front desk and tell them
>lady replies "he likely has that level of clearance"
WHY? Seriously, if I were caught looking at porn in a library, I would have had the cops called on me. It wasn't even through tor or a VPN it was literally on one of their PCs
KIDS could see what he was looking at!

Is porn illegal where you live or something?

>library

In public yes. Why would you look at porn in public?
Public indecency

>shh
For Science!

Bruh your car is private property he can't do shit

Falling on top of a dresser knocking it down and smashing it through part of wall immediately after auto erotic asphyxiation

>be me
>in preschool
>peer through window while waiting for class
>see some guy looking at his computer screen
>see some guy getting his chest torn open
>Tfw still sleep with the lights on

Damn, you sure got away with that horrible incident that you did.

In bathrooms, I piss in the drain on the floor

...

I have yet to meet a kid who looked at porn and turned out not ok. The weird rapey ones are usually the ones whose mothers beat them with a paddle.

Supreme Court ruling look it up ASS slut

This

Hey, I was never beaten with a paddle!!!

Probably for me taking a giant shit on a street light and whipping my ass on same street light

>I have yet to meet a kid who looked at porn and turned out not ok
All kids you met that look at porn turn out ok?

Something is really fucky with your grammar

Feeding my neighbours dog chocolate

>what's the worst thing you've gotten away with in public?
Lying on television. Many people say I have the best lies. I don't know who they are, but it's many people. No one lies better than me. Believe me.

but you understood the sentence right? So what more did you add to this thread?
Think, user, think.

sauce?

I can't believe you still watch television.

please tell moar

I fingered a girl... that's about it.

Fox news never lies man.

Esterhazy, 1 AM
I saw you by the vape shop pissing on some dudes car, I've seen you user.

What is plain view doctrine?

no you dumbass. I'm talking about in public in general.

>being paddled was a bad thing
shut up, there's nothing wrong with spanking, and if you think this, please go back to your safe space.

yeah! see this guy is a perfectly good rapist and his mother didn't paddle him!

chocolate doesn't affect dogs like you think it does. It's actually pure coco

H A R U H I
S U Z U M I Y A
i already told the thread, don't read it nothin now.

Did shit like this at one of my jobs in college.
> working night shift at a high school to pay bills.
> retard kids leave shit all over the place in locker rooms.
> i phone 5 sitting on top of bag along with about 15$ in cash.
> pocket cash and toss phone in garbage bag.
> end of the night trash goes in incinerator.

...

>chocolate doesn't affect dogs
tell that to the dog

I came on my mother while waiting at the bus stop

I've gone out into the middle of a store and threw cans of paint at people.

>walking home from friends house
>randomly shit my pants
>"fuck my life is over. im gonna have to wear diapers and shit for the rest of my life"
turned out i dont need diapers and shit

Oh shut up. He obviously still feels bad about it, and he realizes it was fucked. He's fine

This one time, I walked around the store with my Mom, but I was flipping everyone off under the sleeves of my coat the whole time. (I was around 7)

Called someone a nigger for being a nigger.

Most chocolate in the US is actually artificial with maybe like 10 to 20 percent of cocoa in it. Also, depends on the size of the dog. My friend's dog ate an entire thing of chocolates that was sitting on his desk. He said like a day later he was shitting wrappers and he couldn't stop laughing

Watch out, we got a badass over here.

good thing I'm not in the US then

what fucking supreme court ruling you fucking idiot?