Soccer is, quite frankly, fucking stupid

Soccer is, quite frankly, fucking stupid.

People who enjoy soccer, how do you do it?

Not be fat

Not be American

It might help if you were served beers and hotdogs through the game huh? you fat cunt

i don't

Most of them have literally nothing else. Some of them aren't even aware of the existence of other sports. It's really sad.

I don't get soccer. It has no strategy (inb4 but muh formations) and it simply isn't entertaining.

Maybe. Soccer seems like the kind of game you'd have to be drunk to actually sit through.

2deep4U

The sad part is soccer would actually be pretty cool if they made the field like 25% of the current size and added a shot clock.

What a waste of a decent concept

they should make like 10 sec plays before going to commecials and also play it with their hands right?

Bretty neat plan dude

does anyone else get pretty erect when you open this gif? its the stretches on his muscles when he leans forward that does it

3rd world countries like egypt and canada are forced to play games which require little economic input. Putting tape around cocunts and kicking it with their feet is the limitation of these societies. We tried to spread more intellectual games such as football to these places but simplistic sawcer is the most complicated thing they could handle

The sad part is your dad didn't use a condom.

How do you propose we fix American football?

By watching Penaldo TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>how do you do it?

Pros:
>way more shots
>no standing around
>probably more contact, would have to change penalty rules
>more fun
>could add something like a field goal or alternative way to score

Cons:
>?????

how triggered?

Make it where touchdowns are judged by a point system with judges. Any TD is still 6 points but with extra difficulty, length of score, and "perfect execution" the judges can make it worth 7, 8, or 9 points. Like a one yd td is worth 6 points but a 50 yard perfect slant is worth depending on the judges opinion.

Why would anybody do this for free? Do these fat fucks actually put Sup Forums moderator on their resume

so youre admiting its a shit sport that cant be fixed?

Americans have never played soccer in a competitive atmosphere so they don't understand the appeal of the game.

i was born in yurope and moved to the states when i was a kid. i liked soccer but then i watched american football and i liked it way better. theres just some things in soccer that make it really fucking gay and unwatchable. you can say what you want about ads and commercial breaks but ill that over some faggot flopping around or two teams passing to each other for 90 minutes straight. id rather watch a boring game of football than soccer any day, and the problem is a boring game of soccer happens much more frequently.

>it's an american talks shit about football when he unironically watches handegg and apehoop episode

is this the tsuuuuu thread

>implying you can't fix being fat

Why do I have to be American

Not be a subhuman lard beta who idolizes alpha niggers.

>downsize field
>add walls for sick passing
>no offside
>allow hockey style handballs
There I fixed it

football is an infinitely more complex game than soccer and is the most popular sport in the us
does that mean americans are smarter than the rest of the world ?

I think it's really impressive how well they control the ball, the strategy that goes into it, and seeing a goal go down is lit.

Also, NO FUCKING COMMERCIALS. It's just the sport and that's fucking it. Are you retarded or something OP? I'd swap a full game of football with some Arab airlines ads tattooed all over the jerseys if it meant I wasn't subjected to those God-forsaken Chevy commercials anymore

It shouldn't be a problem that the ball is only in play for a fraction of the game time if you're not a fucking moron and realize how intricate the game of football is. How is watching some third-worlder dicking around dribbling the ball in the middle of a ginormous field any more entertaining than a commercial?

>no offside

Do you even understand why the offside rule exists?
Probably not, so let me explain: it's to stop teams from just planting planting players in the opposition box and playing long balls up to them. A game without the offside rule would mean 11 players in both boxes at all times, just waiting for the ball to be hoofed up to them. It would be fucking dreadful.

The field size is fine. The offside rule is fine. Handballs are obviously out of the question.

But I like the walls rule.

Is there action all 90 minutes? I bet 85 minutes of it is boring shit then there's probably 5 minutes worth of interesting highlights you can just watch online.

I enjoy the pace

>handegg
>barely any sports
>All commercial

>oh boy the footbawl game is starting!
>Welcome to the Sprite™ Arena for this Mustards vs Bullets clash!
>Hi, I'm Chuck Stevens alongside DeAndre LaBarnes and welcome to the ESPN™ pre-game discussion brought to you by Burger King™ - eat it your way - and T-Mobile™ - keeping you in touch
>So DeAndre what do you think about the Mustards this year?
>See here whiteboi, I tink the Mussards finna...
>ok that's all the time we have, let's go to Becky Coalburner for the on-field report
>Hi Chuck, so I was in the Bullets dressing room earlier, and let me tell ya - I'll have a hard time walking in the next few days. Anyways, I spoke to the Bullets coach and he told me "we want to score a lot and keep them from scoring"
>thanks Becky, now it's time for a short 15 minute commercial break and we'll be ready for kickoff
>Nice Mustards kickoff, got a good distance on that and it looks like a timeout called for the Bullets
>boy, that was an early one. The Bullets coach better be careful, he only has 9 more timeouts this quarter
>ok time for the Samsung™ Instant Replay™ on that kickoff
>and we'll be back after another commercial break

kek

...

You could say this about any televised american sport too. The amount of commercials is pretty disgusting

I don't give a shit about how much playing time there is in a football game, I love professional football. I'm just tired of being told CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME during the sport I'm trying to enjoy

>b-but how is watching a sport more interesting then being pitched some bull shit

Because I'm not a mouth breather

>Beck Coalburner

The offside rule should be a literal line on the field like in hockey. Right now it just punishes people for being faster than their defenders.

No it doesn't, you just need to much faster than the defenders, just take the ball in front of the defenders then get there before them.

By not watching the MLS

Try to watch NFL want to kill myself so many stoppages, he throws it stop, he tackles him stops, he kicks it stops, wow you really don't appreciate a fluid open and expansive game do you.

>way more shots
>more contact

>a pro

>is lit

holy fuck stacy you need to go back

>have four boring sports they can't seem to fix
>"hey guys let's propose changes to the most popular sport in the world, the one we don't even know the rules lol"

>People who enjoy soccer
You mean every country in the world that isn't in North America or Scandinavia

well, I think that nfl, nba and baseball are boring as fuck... but I like to watch hockey

Give everyone a gun and let them use it.

Is there anything more repulsive than a hipster burger who pretends to like association football because he wishes he was European? All the burgers disagreeing with OP ITT need to shut the fuck up.

BTFO
T
F
O