ITT: dumbest rumors spread about you

ITT: dumbest rumors spread about you

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That I go on Sup Forums

That I'm Argentinean. I'm Venezuelan.

That I live at the school

That I'm fucking bisexual.

That I fucked Angie Nichols... shit I wish!

that i was the phantom bottle pisser and i caused a tornado of shit in my dorm bathroom.

That i'm a fag

that OP isn't a fag.

What a fucking dumb rumor.

fuck get a drink this is gonna be long
im a sexual abuser
im a stalker
im a stonner
i steal
i hit women
i have a tat of guy ferri
im gay
i carry a knife
and last but not least
IM THE REINCARNATE OF JESUS CHRIST

That I'm a lesbian

> be me
> be at school
> all the sudden get pepper sprayed
> for no reason
> get sent home for the day
> come back the next day
> somebody walks up to me it says you're out of the hospital already

my parents brought me to a urgent care center but not a hospital

> so I tell him that I went to an urgent care center
> all the sudden yells "FOR A CHLORINE GAS ATTACK"
> because somebody started a rumor that I got chlorine gas attacked in a Suburban Middle School

Someone started a rumor at work that I have a huge cock. Haha jokes on them, my dick is tiny.

i wore the same shit to highschool every day for 4 years. some kid told everyone i go home to a closet where they shut me down only to reactivate me for school the next day.

Back in highschool some douchebag spread a rumor that I was gay, I fought him in front of the school, he was a bitch coward and I ended up pushing him into the bushes crying.

A year after graduation, I took my gf to her exes house to help her pick up her stuff, the guy i fought was living there with his friend (my gf's ex), he was a foreveralone single guy.

That I jacked off in the public showers... I mean who does that

...

>pushed him into the bushes

So you are gay

youtube.com/watch?v=Xzzdfn-KSNg

i was on crack because i lost a lot of weight in the fucking HIGH SCHOOL

you dirty nigger

Did you date a chick named Claudia and was this stuff her mother said about you?
Because if so, we're hole brothers.

Oh and also that I have diabetes. I changed my diet to a healthy one and everyone just assumed that it means I'm very sick.

This rumor didn't get very far, but a friend of mine asked a girl I liked if I could have "pictures" of her. She and her friends thought I was a creep for the whole year until I talked to her and told her that I never asked for pictures of her.

Same.

people say i cheated on someone when i've never dated a girl in my life and am still a virgin

people say i cheated on someone when i've never dated a girl in my life and am still a virgin

kek

>Middle school
People would say that I'd date *anyone,* and used red magick to get girls to like me.
>High school
People would say that I do witchcraft and touch little kids in my parents' basement while pleasuring myself to granny-tranny porn. They'd also say I did 'satanic' rituals on full moons and before school everyday.

I was normally the one spreading rumors but the only rumor was that I liked dicks since I drew dicks all over everyone's notebooks.

whoops i had some weird error
>calls out own errors for a quick burst of dry humor

That I took someone's virginity. That she didn't have. While she was on the east coast and I was in Hawaii.

Teach me some red magick user.

That is a seriously long penis you have, do you pass out when you get an erection?

That I'm Hawaiian.

"His dick is REALLY big."

It's not.

I never did red magick! Though apparently, there's a spell to break up relationships that involves breaking a candle in half, saying some incantations, and storing the candles in separate tupperware containers.

That I was trying to get into peoples pants. It wasn't a rumor.

Make America great again

I may or may not experience periods of unconsciousness whenever I watch porn.

Tupperware, damn magick has turned soccer mom domestic.

Eat more iron rich foods user.

Oh, and it can't be a scented candle either, so...yeah...

Is there specific rules about the shape of the tupperware containers?

Also this seems very elaborate, isn't easier just to break up?

isn't it*

Not that I can recall, no.

Counselor thinks I'm miserable which I am

She thinks I have no friends not I have no friends in school but that's not what I'm sad about

She start spreading BS rumors

Like
> I saved a puppy from a burning building
I haven't even seen a burning building maybe on TV but that's about it
> that I save my brother from choking to death
I don't even have a brother

Everybody knew she was full of shit

Who doesn't?

What a fucking shit counselor.

I like old school magick more, it's got more eye of newt.

That I'm ugly and smell bad.
Idk where these losers get these things from

in high school people started a rumor that I was a badass after I beat a kid up for pulling a knife on me at work. got guy friends and a few more fights out of it.. but no chicks..
in college they started a rumor that I was a man whore, had only been with 2 people. got laid like crazy and turned into a man whore. the more chicks I fucked, the more their friends wanted to fuck me. good times.

If you use that with a clean irit and water, you can make a super attack potion (3).

Wait, I thought the magick rumors about you were untrue.

A very shit School with really dumb staff

you shoulda spread a rumor that you fucked her

There was a rumour at work that I -might- be the father of a good friends 3rd child. Luckily he knows what the place is like and called it for the bullshit it was.

Ha, that's alchemy!

UUUU

Dang you got me, of course that's alchemy.

That I fuck dogs.
I mean, it was only once and there is no way anyone could actually know..

At least she was trying to help in some retarded way. Councillors at my school didn't give a fuck

same for me although I never did it.
it's a good thing violence solved my issue

My neighbor told her clique of friends that she fucked me. Funny that she spread that rumor. Because I wanted to fuck her and I asked her for a fucc and she denied me.

same here

But really you were Micronesian

G-K, M-B and David at 99% of you. thanks for all the vile statuses and posts. It has really helped my case against you. Oh my secret......no one knows I still use social media and I enjoy reading literally......and I mean.....literally 90% of your useless bullshit. Makes me glad to just watch and stay quiet.

Those counselors are there so the school looks like they're willing to help but they couldn't give two shits about you.

Take my middle school counselor for example the only advice I ever give you
Is just be nice and everything will work out in your favor which is not true in the slightest.

They only care when you do something that if goes wrong could get them sued making the school look bad.

the problem is schools don't worry about students they worry more about their reputation.

When my wife was in highschool (I cannot stress enough that these people were nearly adults) there was a rumor going around that she fucked a horse, GOT PREGNANT, and gave birth to a foal.

Was it a centaur foal?

High school
> rumor was I was dating 4 bitches at once.

> total beta faggot dating one girl for the sex.

> didn't deny it and maximum keks was had.

Yeah , same

It was fucking Southlake (rich white neighborhood North of Dallas) they prolly don't know what that means.

Crazy bitch at my old church said my mother tried to run her over and summoned demons in a bookstore she worked at. Dumbass escaping at the church were weird with us and that crazy bitch pretended to speak in tongues and would "cry" during music and took control of all church activities

that my dick is huge

Huh rich kids with no concept of how biology works from Dallas. This meets to many of my prejudices that I almost doubt it.

When I moved to a new town, a bunch of people spread a rumor that i was a hardcore meth/heroin user, and that I either went to prison or snitched a bunch of people out and was now in hiding because of it.

Same thing happened in the town i moved to, as well as people saying I was always going to my job drunk/stoned, and was about to get fired.

The crazy part is, I've never done that stuff, and the people spreading the rumors always turned out to be people who were friends of friends of friends who I had only spoken to briefly, like once before.

The crazier part was that a lot of the people who I did know believed them for some reason, even though a lot of the details made no sense.

I fucking dare you to go there and talk to a random teenager. They're so devoid of personality or critical thinking they might as well be Necrons.

No thanks, I like having what little faith in humanity I have left.
Luckily civilization will implode soon and I can get started on my post civilized survival.

2 weeks ago at the club I heard that one of my "friends" (girl) said at the pre party that she had sneaked in to our lockerroom and saw that i had a very, very small dick. I got so FUCKING mad,
1. We aint even showering at the school
2. I got a pretty decent dick, over avarage.
So i went looking for her and told her that she can gtfo and alot of other stuff, she started cry and went home. Fuck her.

That i got three women pregnant at an anime convention.
Truth: i fucked three on the same weekend but never saw them again. Two were sisters.

>fuck her

You should have