Dog bit my dick. What do?

Dog bit my dick. What do?

LMFAOOOOO

stop putting peanut butter on your dick.

timestamp that shit nigga
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

bite its dick

Bite his.

dont do anything, it will heal by itself

you fucked OP, time to kys

IN WHAT FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCES CAN YOUR DOG BITE YOUR FUCKING COCK ?

you're a goner

feed the grape to the dog

Unless you wanna be a ladyboy I suggest a trip to the ED. That's gangrene boy.

stop trying to fuck your dog you degenerate piece of shit. kill yourself.

you fucking idiot....i can't stop laughing

don't kill the dog..kill yourself

The real reason OP hasn't sought professional medical help.

OMFG. YIIISSSS.

You are gonna lose the dick dude!

Think this poster is right op, that looks like you're gonna be losing part of your dick, and if you don't go fast, you'll lose more.

I have no idea how you can get out of this without looking like you fucked your dog. Literally, even if you said you were fapping with mayo and the dog came over, you smacked it, and it chomped at you, they would still just think you were fucking your dog.

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Don't let dogs near your dick again, as a first.
And really now, swallow down that pride, go to the ER, get taken care of. you can tell the doctor what happened and he has to keep it to himself.
Your penis is more important than your pride or embarracement.

i am wheezing.

dude, they fucking with you, put some ice on it and get some rest

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Do... yourself a favor, and kill yourself.

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Get a new dog

goto doctor

try fucking it again and maybe it'll finish the job

/thread

reverse image search: no results

go to ER, tell them your crazy ex wanted a last rodeo ... every man in ER will salute you

Leave it alone, it's going to turn into a huge nigger dick.

Apply mustard to the wound and let it stay on there for a day it will heal. Trust me it works.

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Holy kek you poor bastard

my mouth opened wide af. i don't even flinch in rekt threads but :O

Get on my level noob.

Stop fucking your dog and you won't get bit.

Yeah that picture is horrible, like I get going dark and shit, but I get the feeling he isn't doing it to fuck with others, but because he actually enjoys it.

This is very disturbing

It is always sad to see decaying relationship...

WOW!!!!! NICE DEDUCTIONS THERE EINSTEIN.I MEAN HE HAS A FULL ERECTION..HE FUCKS IT....YOU THINK HE ENJOYS IT JUST A TAD? NIGGER....

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Keep your dick away from the dog in the future.

Please you're both out of my league clearly THIS is the most disgusting image

At least a good joke came out of this misery! The subject is interesting though. I've read about serial killers doing this. I wonder how common weird shit like this actually is.

You edge lords sure are original

>every post I don't like is edgy

I have a contender. I do feel bad about normalizing this stuff.

Post timestamp And you have my attention

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too far!

Delet these!

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How did that take place

The real question is smooth or crunchy?

are you retarded, of course he tried to fuck his doggo

Great post, instinctive, fast, accurate. Sup Forums spirit.
Great job user.

JIBUN WOOOOOOO

My dog always just licks the peanut butter away, it never bites

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OMG HOLLY SHIT!!
Go tot a doctor bro, im sure ull be ok but looks like bloods buidling up, or skin is dying

Simple, man. That's a blister.
Stick a needle in it.

This happened to my girlfriend a few years back. Just fill a sock with some warm milk and soak the head in it until the swelling stops. It's ancient American tradition you won't find online or at the ER. If the milk-sock doesn't work (depends how your body responds to hormones and dairy) you might want to try the pressure trick and squeeze your balls until your dick feels tense. Works every time but needs harsh pressure and repitiveness until you're purple all over. Then as your penis goes back to regular hue the head won't be miscolored anymore due to refreshed blood cells. You're welcome.

Next time when ur cumming try not to harm the dog. it heals trust me I've dealt with putting my dick in dogs mouths before it feels good

Go to the doctor, get some antibiotics on there, get checked for any diseases or bacteria from the dog's mouth, and motherfucker get a cup or a chastity belt jfc

My brother once drop kicked me in the dick an half turned black and blue like that, was some of the most painful shit of my life.

how the fuck did you let that happen you idiot

OP?
You there, buddy?

Stop trying to fuck your dog, would be a good start.

>first day on Sup Forums

Dogs' mouths are clean so just put some antibiotic on it. Also, beat the dog into submission before you try to fuck it, or don't fuck a dog.

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING KEK
>what happened user
>doctor panics because you look like a rapist with a bit dick
>I wanted to fuck my dog's face
>and he bit my dick
>doctor asks you to repeat it
>he bit my dick plays on the the intercom, to the nurses station
>everyone is laughing at you
>even your dog kek

Fucking this.

We need a timestamp on this OP.

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looks like he gave you the dog aids, youre a dead man

I mean, Im fine with the pineapple and ham, but whats with that fuckin fork? And in the middle of the slice no less.

Say goodbye to your dick OP. You better hope you can pass as a tranny.

I think your dog might be sick

>zoofag getting what he deserves
Have fun explaining that one to your doctor.

Tell the doctor that chu:
Tried to toss his salad,
Make your dog a faggot,
He bit your fucking bellend,
Wasn't gonna fucking have it,

Acted like a little fool,
Tryna juggle doggie jewels,
Thought it was fucking cool,
Then he chomped your pocket tool,

Lost all self control,
Tryna bust in doggie holes,
Post results on Sup Forums
Should've never gave your dog a bone.

Sage'd

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wtf

Really? he seems pretty healthy to me.

this

My cuz does this shit.. she'll order a pizza a day ahead.. put it in fridge, next day coat it in mayo and eat it cold.. fucked just fucked up

try this

Replace you with I and your with my

Then look in the doctors eyes,
caress his chest,
Then sing it like Justin Timberlake.

After singing, hold the pose user.

Cut it off

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Why do people do this?

In the analysis cavity of canines have a special healing properties. But your dock in there for 2 minutes and will cum out good as new.

Get tested probs tuh AIDs

this place is so weird lol

How?

Acted straight up like a fag
Your dog's tail now will not wag
Tried to stretch its canine booty
And got taught a lesson, swiggity swooty

kek'd

TOP LEL
YOU MIGHT AS WELL CUT YOUR DICK OFF YOU HOMO THAT SHIT ISN'T GOING TO HEAL AND NO GIRL WILL EVER TOUCH IT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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