Fluffies n shit

fluffies n shit

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good one

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Fwuffy nu am nummies! FWUFFY NU AM NUMMIES!!!

>be me
>work a shitty corporate job
>make decent money though
>been a few years since the fluffy outbreak
>they’re still fucking shit up though
>this means you can do basically anything to them
>more companies have started their own biotoy departments
>decide to save up and get a custom biotoy
>finally save enough
>decide to get a lamassu, or “winged cat”
>modify him with opposable thumbs, a better sense of smell, higher intellect and no fucking speech impediments
>i chose to go with a black and green tabby
>a month later they finish perfecting the modified biotoy
>pick him up when he’s only a kitten
>they hand me the cage and tell me he’s projected to mature in 6 months and live 12-15 years, maybe more
>look into the cage to see what all that cash got me
>downright adorable
>decide to call him gargoyle

>take him home
>sit him down in the litter box, like you would with any new cat
>he looks around and paws at the sand
>gets bored and starts roaming the house
>i keep an eye on him
>make sure he doesn’t get hurt
>he goes near my armchair
>spots a strand of string hanging off the back
>immediately crouches down ready to pounce
>extends his wings in a menacing display
>i almost laugh
>he attacks and tears off the string
>he continues to attack it for a while
>this should work out nicely for what I plan on using him for

>3 weeks go by
>sitting on the couch watching tv
>gargoyle has started flying around
>he’s actually gotten pretty good
>everyday I get home from work he waits for me to enter the door and swooops down on me
>squeaking his little battle cries
>this time he lands right in front of me
>he has my full attention
f-f-faw-thew?
>holy shit did he just say father?
What was that gargoyle?
>gargoyle straightens up
y-yuuu are, fawther?
>a smile creeps over my face
yeah little guy i’m your father
>this puts a smile on his face
>he comes closer and starts nuzzling me

>it’s been 2 months since I got gargoyle
>i’m teaching him how to read and do basic math
>he thinks it’s boring so I have to bribe him through it
>what else do you expect from a talking cat?
Ok gargoyle what letter is this?
>he stares up at the card
...vee?
Correct gargoyle...i think that’s enough today, ready for your treat?
>gargoyle jumps up and starts stretching
yes father, let’s go, let’s go
>i grab the little box I picked up from the pet store
>i take it outside and gargoyle follows
>i open the box to reveal a mouse
>pick it up and look at gargoyle
you know the rules, when I put him down you count to ten and then hunt the rat
>gargoyle sits patiently
yes I know father
>i put down the mouse
>gargoyle counts
>he goes straight for the rat when he reaches ten
>user immediately hears pained squeaks
>gargoyle likes to play with his food

>another 4 month goes by
>gargoyle has learned reading and arithmetic
>once he learned to read he started doing it on his own
>finally finished his first chapter book so I decided to get him a special surprise
>come home from a trip to the city
>see gargoyle thumbing through a book on one of the many perches I built around the house for him
hey gargoyle I have a special treat for you
>muffled but excited babbling can be heard from the box im carrying
>gargoyles ears perk up
what’s in the box?
it’s your treat, the main reason I’ve been training you to hunt as well
>he puts down his book and jumps down to the floor
>he follows me outside like usual
>i open the box and put it on the ground with the opening to the side to let the fluffy out
>the fluffy clambers out
hewwo nyu daddeh, dis am nyu homies?
>looks at gargoyle
HEWWO KITTEH, WAN BE FWUFFIES NYU FWEND?
>the look of pure disgust on gargoyles face was priceless
what is this THHING!!! old man
>i smile to myself, this will be a piece of cake
this, gargoyle, is a fluffy pony, they are built to love and give hugs
they are also a disgusting pest that procreates faster then rabbits
and they leave a trail of shit and garbage pretty much everywhere they go
this is what I want you to start hunting, you are now fully grown now so it’s time to go have some late night fun

>gargoyle just looks at me
why would anyone want these things?
>the fluffy looks hurt at our exchange
fwuffy nuu am fing, fwuffy am fwuffy an fwuffy am fow-
>gargoyle launches a clawed hand straight towards the fluffies face
>huge gashes split the blue fluffy, blood starts pouring out of the wounds
SCCRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>the fluffy starts running
>i look at gargoyle with a smile
go ahead, play with your new toy
>gargoyle doesn’t hesitate
>he flies straight up, then dives down on the fluffy
>he grabs the fluffy with his clawed hands and starts flying back up
SCRRREEEEEEEEEEE, NUUU WAN UPPPSIES, UPPSIES AMBAD FOW FWUFFIE, PWEASE NUU GUWT GUD FWUFFY, FWUFFY AM FOW-
>gargoyle hovers in mid air
>he interrupts the fluffies squealing pleas for mercy by using his hind legs to tear into the fluffies lower half
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAF!HAF!HAF! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>gargoyle finally silences the fluffy by tearing out its throat and dropping it to the ground
>...thud
>user walks over to the twitching, shredded up fluffy
>she dies quickly from blood loss
>gargoyle lands near by, cleaning the blood off of himself
they’re sweeter than I expected
i think gargoyle would disagree

Woof.

>spit roast

enf, enf, enf...

aetasxblog.wordpress.com/
Updated yesterday.

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can we get some foal abuse up in here

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Where is the fucking chocobo guy?

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Is this a fluffy pony?

Kweh.

Mary Sue Fluffy/10

Sorry user :7

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>Gib nummie sketties WITE NAO or get wowstest sorry poopies

Fucking poser

About time

is there some were the foals go through saw like traps

God, I wish they were real.

i would have stuff to practice my golf swing on

I do too, however, if they were real Im 100% sure ferals would become a much larger problem.
Peta would also get involved, ruining the fun

Kweh.

I would quit my job an become a full-time fluffy breeder / abuser.

I would even move into a tiled flat so cleanup would be quick.

explain?

You are thinking about this the wrong way.

More ferals means more target practice means more abuse means more fluffy meat means $$ savings on food.

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What is there to explain?
Babby fluffy wants to be excused for making bad poopies.
Gets older, wants to be excused still.
Gets smarty syndrome and wants to poo wherever it wants. Locked it in box

> tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

It would also mean a fuck tonne of shit.
I'm just saying, if they were real, it would be a lot easier if Peta would fuck off and leave people to do whatever they wanted.

?
did you read it? the only fluffy in that story gets torn to pieces by flying cat

I love weirdbox

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wait i see what you mean

Shit gets collected daily by the homeless (they get a meal/booze for their work) and made into fertilizer.

Problem solved.

Works for me.
also, checked

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How would you make money?

is nummies

Anyone knows some good >>psychological_abuse>milk_thief

Sell Fluffies, eat Fluffies.

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Last one.

Who knows of some good >>psychological_abuse>milk_thief

Hah! Good luck with that. It's nearly impossible to sell fluffies and make a good profit unless they have extremely rare MLP colors.

When fluffies came, it didn't take long before breeding factories were made where they were mass produced in huge numbers. Then thousands of basement breeding places were created by amateurs trying to make money. Any person could just pick up a random mare and stallion from an alley or a forest and let them breed. It didn't take long for fluffy prices to drop quickly to the point they were worth nearly nothing, to the point they are practically free. You don't even need to buy fluffies, you can just "adopt" them from the streets and forests.

Just sit back and relax. Fluffy thread is slow thread. Enjoy it.

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I feel that a fluffy adopted from the street would have a better chance at being more disciplined because if it misbehaves you could threaten it by saying do you want to go back outside instead of the nice house?

Except the smarties.

Just waiting for this autism to die. Maybe 5 artists left. Same re-used garbage every time. Maybe the same 10 people do these threads.

Like dubstep, this is just the wet dreams of youths with extreme mental anguish. Love the buttrape though, you all love anal damage.

You got a point there.

But as long as I have free food, I can live on the few good selling batches (there's always *those* customers) and spend the rest on alcohol/drugs.

I don't need much to be content: abusing fluffies and the internet.

So it's pretty much paradise.

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i remember being this new

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3 of the 10 defensive autistic soldiers.

Will do.

Also nice dump. Hadn't seen weed-fluffies yet. I know of drug fluffies though. Pic related.

I mean it's stupid, but it's fresh.

If you were given a machine that can create fluffies, any gender and any age.

What would the first thing you do be.
Personally I would raise a female from foal, bring her up in a world of love and kindness.
Let her have children.
Have her children brutally murdered and killed without her knowing who it was just to see her break down.

Too cute art style. :

i would make designer fluffies to pay my bills, then see if i couldn't breed the perfect fluffy

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Ah my friend, you've not been fluffying enough.

I am into fluffies since 2014 and I can still get surprised.

It's my main fandom. And I love it.

Nope. Not punchable enough.

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is there moar?

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This fluffy is so spoilt, I want to strangle its owner soo badly while it watches. Then leave it in the dark with simulated "monster eyes" (red LEDs and a bunch of microcontrollers) and monster sounds until its mind snaps. Then reset it and repeat.

anyone got the fluffy going catatonic from no love

Ive read comics where babies can hold entire conversations and reason with logic, yet this says it takes like a month for them to open eyes.

Do you all RP to a list of rules? Or in retard nature its all details and pointless, gore guys, rape and horses? Guys gore guys? Kind of nonsense?

>RP
If someone actually RP's as this kind of stuff then im out

I once saw two people roleplay as fluffy ponies in a thread

Not that I've seen. They seem to be a new artist on the booru

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There's a lot of different head-canons (not head-cannons, those were used in the middle-ages) and you can just pick the one you like.

I personally like talkative foals early but also like them to be mute the first 3-6 days. Runts talk later and bestest babbehs talk earlier.

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Also I want to kill all three of them so badly.

RQ's been getting almost fetishistic lately with her stuff.